Table manners

Sam Houston the founder of Houston Texas, was once at a 19th century
dinner party in Washington D.C. When the soup course was served, it was
very hot, and Houston spat his first mouthful out on the tablecloth. He
then turned to the lady on his right, who was predictably aghast and
said "If I were a damn fool, I'd have swallowed that!"

Melissa

Damsel in dis Dress said:

Quoted message said:

My mother was always one for reserved proper etiquette at the table, and
IMHO, it has been the deal-maker in many instances.

We had a plate, paper napkin, and properly placed knife, fork, and spoon,
even if we were just having tomato soup and a grilled cheese sandwich. And
if you improperly reached for something, she'd stab the back of your hand
with a fork. Emily Post, eat your heart out!

My father always insisted on a properly set table
(cloth or mat, fork/knife/spoon, S&P, wine
glass..) and one of the saddest things I
witnessed after my mother died was watching him
set the table for just himself. I guess it was
somewhat of a ritual because he just couldn't
(didn't want to) relax his standards. He just
wasn't really used to dining alone, I think that
is one reason why he married again sort of quickly.
Goomba

Goomba38 said:

My father always insisted on a properly set table
(cloth or mat, fork/knife/spoon, S&P, wine
glass..) and one of the saddest things I
witnessed after my mother died was watching him
set the table for just himself. I guess it was
somewhat of a ritual because he just couldn't
(didn't want to) relax his standards. He just
wasn't really used to dining alone, I think that
is one reason why he married again sort of quickly.

My dad never did remarry. He had two "lady friends." One of them
pressured him to marry her. He told her, "I'm already married." When Dad
passed, his obituary read that he had been reunited with his wife. 🙂

Carol

--
Coming at you live, from beautiful Lake Woebegon

Far as I can tell said:

no feet on the table when the food arrives,

Yikes! Up until the food arrives it's okay?

When I was a kid at camp we would sing a tune whenever one of the councilors leaned
his/her elbows on the table.

"Get your elbows off the table Uncle Bill (or whomever)
(Repeat.)
We have seen you do it twice and it isn't very nice.
Get your elbows off the table Uncle Bill.
Stand up, stand up, we won't shut up 'til you stand up.
(repeat until the red-faced offending adult stands, then applaud.

Having 120 eight year olds teach you manners was humiliating, to say the least.

Seriously, perhaps a strongly worded anonymous letter will do the trick.

Dear Joe,
You're a nice guy, and lots of people like you, buy you have a VERY annoying habit.
You slouch when eating. You lean on your elbows and it bothers everyone.
Grow up and knock it off.
signed,

Your friend,
Well, lots of your friends who don't want to embarrass you.

Far as I can tell said:

EVERYBODY should move their chair as far back as possible,
then adopt exactly the posture and mannerisms of the offender.

Miss Manners, move it on over. Bob is now da man.

Far as I can tell said:

Story goes that Queen Victoria was hosting a political state dinner with
the Raj of some large Indian state.
He picked up the finger bowl (scented with floating rose petals) and
proceeded to drink out of it, much to the chagrin of the aghast guests.

The way I heard it, the Queen sliced off a few tiny bits of beef and forked them onto
her bread palte, so everyone, while stunned, followed suit. She then placed it on
the floor for her little dog. and I'll bet she laughed her ass off that evening...

Far as I can tell said:

I guess it was
somewhat of a ritual because he just couldn't
(didn't want to) relax his standards.

And because he was a true gentleman.
We can learn from people like him.

Far as I can tell said:

The host, a student, poured the tea, and then opened a milk
bottle, and before passing it to the guest, took a big swig directly
from it!

Quoted message said:

I was always taught, from a young age, not to drink straight from the
bottle, but apparently not everyone is taught this.

That's not a training issue. That's just disgusting.

Goomba38 <[email hidden]> wrote in news:uKOdnbfTJrOJndvfRVn-
[email hidden]:

Quoted message said:

one of the saddest things I
witnessed after my mother died was watching him
set the table for just himself.

Goomba,

After my Mom passed, I remember meals with Pop. He was similar to your
Pop.

His finest request was to have those giant kosher dinner hotdogs with
sauerkraut, for breakfast! We really had fun with that. It became a
breakfast ritual, akin to Sunday pancakes. Warms my heart to recall that
memory. I buried him a year later.

And we too shall follow,

Andy

In <[email hidden]> Damsel in dis Dress

Quoted message said:

Wayne Boatwright <[email hidden]>, if that's their real name,

Quoted message said:

On Sat 26 Mar 2005 10:48:59a, Damsel in dis Dress wrote in
rec.food.cooking:

Quoted message said:

Crash and I are actually VERY informal. When we belch and say,
"Excuse me," the non-belcher reassures the belcher, "That's okay,
you'll do better next time." A really GOOD belch yields this
comment, "Very ladylike." Carol ::burp::

This lady has class!

Which is why you married me. Wait! That was supposed to be a secret.
Sorry, Dumplin'.

Dumplin'? Now that's romantic! Hmmmm, haven't had dumplings in a long
time...

--
Cheers

Dennis

Remove 'Elle-Kabong' to reply

On Sat 26 Mar 2005 11:02:57a, Damsel in dis Dress wrote in
rec.food.cooking:

Quoted message said:

Wayne Boatwright <[email hidden]>, if that's their real name,

Quoted message said:

On Sat 26 Mar 2005 10:48:59a, Damsel in dis Dress wrote in
rec.food.cooking:

Quoted message said:

Crash and I are actually VERY informal. When we belch and say, "Excuse
me," the non-belcher reassures the belcher, "That's okay, you'll do
better next time." A really GOOD belch yields this comment, "Very
ladylike."

Carol ::burp::

This lady has class!

Which is why you married me. Wait! That was supposed to be a secret.
Sorry, Dumplin'.

Carol

Now we're going to have to move to Utah!

--
Wayne Boatwright
____________________________________________

Give me a smart idiot over a stupid genius any day.
Sam Goldwyn, 1882-1974

Or Colorado City, AZ?

Remember GOD told you that you needed another wife!

SMILE!!

Bart D. Hull
[email hidden]
Tempe, Arizona

Check http://www.inficad.com/~bdhull/engine.html
for my Subaru Engine Conversion
Check http://www.inficad.com/~bdhull/fuselage.html
for Tango II I'm building.

Remove -nospam to reply via email.

Wayne Boatwright said:

On Sat 26 Mar 2005 11:02:57a, Damsel in dis Dress wrote in
rec.food.cooking:

Quoted message said:

Wayne Boatwright <[email hidden]>, if that's their real name,

Quoted message said:

On Sat 26 Mar 2005 10:48:59a, Damsel in dis Dress wrote in
rec.food.cooking:

>Crash and I are actually VERY informal. When we belch and say, "Excuse
>me," the non-belcher reassures the belcher, "That's okay, you'll do
>better next time." A really GOOD belch yields this comment, "Very
>ladylike."
>
>Carol ::burp::

This lady has class!

Which is why you married me. Wait! That was supposed to be a secret.
Sorry, Dumplin'.

Carol

Now we're going to have to move to Utah!

Wayne Boatwright <[email hidden]>, if that's their real name,

Quoted message said:

Now we're going to have to move to Utah!

Salt Water Taffy! YAY!

Carol

--
Coming at you live, from beautiful Lake Woebegon

On Sat 26 Mar 2005 11:34:12p, Damsel in dis Dress wrote in rec.food.cooking:

Quoted message said:

Wayne Boatwright <[email hidden]>, if that's their real name,

Quoted message said:

Now we're going to have to move to Utah!

Salt Water Taffy! YAY!

Carol

Now you've done it! It's not quite time for me to order my annual pre-summer
supply of Fralinger's and Jame's salt water taffies from New Jersey. I want
it now! I usually order 5 pounds of each brand. When I lived in OH I
ordered it in the summer. If I did that here, it would arrive as very pretty
puddles of goo.

--
Wayne Boatwright
____________________________________________

Give me a smart idiot over a stupid genius any day.
Sam Goldwyn, 1882-1974

On Sat 26 Mar 2005 11:34:12p, Damsel in dis Dress wrote in rec.food.cooking:

Quoted message said:

Wayne Boatwright <[email hidden]>, if that's their real name,

Quoted message said:

Now we're going to have to move to Utah!

Salt Water Taffy! YAY!

Carol

What are you doing up? You should be in bed!

--
Wayne Boatwright
____________________________________________

Give me a smart idiot over a stupid genius any day.
Sam Goldwyn, 1882-1974

Wayne Boatwright <[email hidden]>, if that's their real name,

Quoted message said:

On Sat 26 Mar 2005 11:34:12p, Damsel in dis Dress wrote in rec.food.cooking:

Quoted message said:

Wayne Boatwright <[email hidden]>, if that's their real name,

Quoted message said:

Now we're going to have to move to Utah!

Salt Water Taffy! YAY!

What are you doing up? You should be in bed!

I'm waiting for you, love muffin.

Smoooootch!
Carol

--
Coming at you live, from beautiful Lake Woebegon

David Hare-Scott said:

I am assuming that everybody has some sort of standard of table

manners.
[snip]

Quoted message said:

I don't see myself as a manners Nazi.

I now have the case where a person who comes to my house to dine

makes me

Quoted message said:

cringe.

I see a couple of possibilities:

1) Who is closest (relationship-wise) to this guest? Doesn't sound
like you're the one inviting him over. Have that person say a few
words, tactfully and privately. I don't think it is your place to say
anything - unless you are very good friends already.

2) Have someone (much) older say something - again, tactfully and
privately - to the guest. It may go down a little easier in that
context.

You know this could fall out a few ways. The person could be
shocked/horrified/embarrassed to find out that he has bad table
manners. He may laugh and not care (and not change). Also, keep in
mind that it is harder to break habits as an adult. He may be angry or
irritated - or worse yet, be a grudge-holder, long term resentful, etc.
So tread carefully, since it seems you will have a long relationship
together.

I used to work with someone (from a different country) who chewed
loudly and spoke with his mouth full. He was older than me, higher
ranked job-wise, and a super-nice, really smart and generous guy. I
never said a word about it, just tried to sit at the far end of the
table (we usually ate in groups). Sometimes my sister will talk with
her mouth full, and I will tell her as kindly as possible that I am
happy to wait to hear her news until she has finished her bite of food.
She forgets that she is doing it and always seems to appreciate the
reminder. Ditto for one of my friends who tends to eat while we are on
the phone together.

Let us know how it turns out!
June

Quoted message said:

I used to work with someone (from a different country) who chewed
loudly and spoke with his mouth full. He was older than me, higher
ranked job-wise, and a super-nice, really smart and generous guy. I
never said a word about it, just tried to sit at the far end of the
table (we usually ate in groups). Sometimes my sister will talk with
her mouth full, and I will tell her as kindly as possible that I am
happy to wait to hear her news until she has finished her bite of

food.

Quoted message said:

She forgets that she is doing it and always seems to appreciate the
reminder. Ditto for one of my friends who tends to eat while we are

on

Quoted message said:

the phone together.

Eating while on the phone is nothing... I know someone who makes his
phone calls while he's on the throne... multi-tasking!

Sheldon (detests the clods who phone while driving to break their
boredom)

"Sheldon" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

I used to work with someone (from a different country) who chewed
loudly and spoke with his mouth full. He was older than me, higher
ranked job-wise, and a super-nice, really smart and generous guy. I
never said a word about it, just tried to sit at the far end of the
table (we usually ate in groups). Sometimes my sister will talk with
her mouth full, and I will tell her as kindly as possible that I am
happy to wait to hear her news until she has finished her bite of

food.

Quoted message said:

She forgets that she is doing it and always seems to appreciate the
reminder. Ditto for one of my friends who tends to eat while we are

on

Quoted message said:

the phone together.

Eating while on the phone is nothing... I know someone who makes his
phone calls while he's on the throne... multi-tasking!

Sheldon (detests the clods who phone while driving to break their
boredom)

Well that last is illegal in UK

Dave Smith said:

A few years ago he moved a long way away, but close to an old mutual friend
who dreaded his arrival. The last time I talked to the mutual friend he
told me the guy had actually cleaned up his act. They had a long talk one
night and said he said that he realized that he didn't have many friends
and the friends he did have didn't want much to do with him.

I once **really** upset my ex husband, a man prone to conformity, by
telling off a man at a potluck, who was mouthing off and saying "all
homeless people ought to be taken out and shot". I calmly replied "The
problem with that, Kenny, is the next group of people they'll take out
in shoot and men in big pickup trucks whose pants are too tight." It
broke the party up right away, but I found out everyone hated him to
come to parties because of his mouth. Later, we became very fond of each
other. He admitted he is poor at editing what comes out of his mouth,
and I found out he'd taken in a pair of step kids and been really good
to them, etc etc. He and I found out we both tend to speak our mind, and
he didn't mind what I'd said, even though it took him several meetings
before he no longer avoided me with an alarmed look in his eye. I wonder
how often someone had stood up to him without falling to his level of
loud generalizations.
Years later, he wept in my arms when his 40 year old wife died. I
believe my confrontation of him made us closer.
On the other hand, people have been shot over less.
blacksalt