Remembrances.

Ophelia said:

"-L." <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

I think losing your Mother is one of the hardest things you go through
in life. It changes you forever.

And it all depends on the mother. Mine was abusive and cruel.

I'm so sorry, Ophelia.

Hugs,
Carol

Dan Abel said:

In article <[email hidden]>,

-L. said:

I think losing your Mother is one of the hardest things you go through
in life. It changes you forever.

Yes. I lost my mother over 30 years ago. Still, I think it depends a
little. How old were you and what was your living situation when your
mother died? I was gone and married by then. My sister was also gone
and married. My brother got hit hard. He was still in high school.
Mom was the glue that held the family together. Dad was difficult. My
brother developed an intense dislike for Dad that lasted several years.
Of course, Dad was hit the hardest. They had been married over 25 years.

My mom's been gone for 21 years and I still miss her dreadfully. She,
also, held the family together. And when Dad passed, the family fell
to ruin. We "kids" have nothing in common with each other besides
having been born to the same parents.

Quoted message said:

A few years later my son died. There was just no comparison. Here was
a baby who had lived with us almost a year

I can't even begin to imagine your pain. What a horrible thing for
parents to go through. Warm wishes to you and your wife.

Carol

On Tue 03 Jan 2006 11:33:18a, Ophelia wrote in rec.food.cooking:

Quoted message said:

"-L." <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

I think losing your Mother is one of the hardest things you go through
in life. It changes you forever.

And it all depends on the mother. Mine was abusive and cruel.

Then perhaps some things are best left forgotten. I'm so sorry to know that.
Especially, since you are such a lovely person.

--
Wayne Boatwright *¿*
____________________________________________

Give me a smart idiot over a stupid genius any day.
Sam Goldwyn, 1882-1974

In article <[email hidden]>,

Wayne Boatwright said:

On Tue 03 Jan 2006 11:33:18a, Ophelia wrote in rec.food.cooking:

Quoted message said:

"-L." <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

I think losing your Mother is one of the hardest things you go through
in life. It changes you forever.

And it all depends on the mother. Mine was abusive and cruel.

Then perhaps some things are best left forgotten. I'm so sorry to know that.

Especially, since you are such a lovely person.

--
Wayne Boatwright *¿*

What does not destroy us makes us stronger...
I was fortunate. My mother was the best friend I ever had.

We love you Ophelia!
Congrats (sincere) for overcoming it!

Hugs!!!!!!!
--
Om.

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-[censored]." -Jack Nicholson

Remembrances of my mother, who passed away in July 2005. I sincerely
hope that St. Peter gave the woman an iron and ironing board instead of
wings & a harp; man, how that woman loved to iron. Carol

Our life may not always be the party we would have chosen, but while we
are here, we may as well dance!

In article <[email hidden]>,

Ophelia said:

"-L." <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

I think losing your Mother is one of the hardest things you go through
in life. It changes you forever.

And it all depends on the mother. Mine was abusive and cruel.

At least she raised a wonderful daughter!

--
Dan Abel
[email hidden]
Petaluma, California, USA

Ophelia said:

"-L." <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

I think losing your Mother is one of the hardest things you go through
in life. It changes you forever.

And it all depends on the mother. Mine was abusive and cruel.

She was blessed with a lovely daughter, whether or not she knew it.

TammyM

-L. said:

I think losing your Mother is one of the hardest things you go through
in life. It changes you forever.

Quoted message said:

-L.

I agree. My father died in 1970, when I was still at school. It was
tough, mainly because he was the first person I knew who'd died,
rather than because he was my father. He was the "old-fashioned" kind
of father, someone to be feared rather than loved.

But when my mother died in 1997 the family lost it's glue. Since then
we've pretty well drifted apart, seven siblings, all orphans yet we're
now all in our 50s. (NOT a typo. My mother had 7 kids in 7.5 years!!).

When a workmate's second parent died last year, I commiserated with
him on being an orphan. He is also in his 50s. He commented he never
realised how he'd feel till then, and was quite surprised how lost he
felt, given his parent was elderly and death was not unexpected, that
being an orphan was quite devastating no matter what age you are. You
have finally lost the one person who has to love you no matter what.

Kathy in NZ

Dan Abel said:

In article <[email hidden]>,

-L. said:

I think losing your Mother is one of the hardest things you go through
in life. It changes you forever.

Yes. I lost my mother over 30 years ago. Still, I think it depends a
little. How old were you and what was your living situation when your
mother died? I was gone and married by then. My sister was also gone
and married. My brother got hit hard. He was still in high school.
Mom was the glue that held the family together. Dad was difficult. My
brother developed an intense dislike for Dad that lasted several years.
Of course, Dad was hit the hardest. They had been married over 25 years.

A few years later my son died. There was just no comparison. Here was
a baby who had lived with us almost a year.

--
Dan Abel
[email hidden]
Petaluma, California, USA

Dan, I am so sorry. I cannot imagine what that is like -- well I can
in a way, but I never want to face it. That is the worst thing that
can happen to any of us, to lose a child. It goes against the natural
order of things. We know our parents will die, hopefully before us.
Our children shouldn't. My condolences to you.

Kathy in NZ

Ophelia said:

"-L." <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

I think losing your Mother is one of the hardest things you go through
in life. It changes you forever.

And it all depends on the mother. Mine was abusive and cruel.

I am so sorry you had a bad mother. It is hard to get over something
like that, not to let it warp you. Hopefully you are a much better
person than her, and can metaphorically snub your nose at her each
time you rise above her cruelty.

Wishing you well
Kathy in NZ

Dan Abel said:

Yes. I lost my mother over 30 years ago. Still, I think it depends a
little. How old were you and what was your living situation when your
mother died? I was gone and married by then. My sister was also gone
and married. My brother got hit hard. He was still in high school.
Mom was the glue that held the family together. Dad was difficult. My
brother developed an intense dislike for Dad that lasted several years.
Of course, Dad was hit the hardest. They had been married over 25 years.

I was 38 and married a couple of years. The last time I saw my Mom was
my wedding, but I talked to her on the phone daily. My Mom died on
9-11. Not in the terrorist attacks, but because of them. She watched
them on TV all day and then died suddenly that evening. The
housekeeper found her in the morning, sitting on the couch with the TV
still on, with a kitty in her lap. Her poor old heart couldn't take
it. I got the call and was in total shock. I still can't believe it
happened, actually.

Quoted message said:

A few years later my son died. There was just no comparison. Here was
a baby who had lived with us almost a year.

I cannot imagine, Dan. I cry just thinking about it. I am not sure I
could go on.
-L.

Ophelia said:

"-L." <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

I think losing your Mother is one of the hardest things you go through
in life. It changes you forever.

And it all depends on the mother. Mine was abusive and cruel.

I'm sorry to hear that, Ophelia. That's just so sad.
-L.

Kathy in NZ said:

I agree. My father died in 1970, when I was still at school. It was
tough, mainly because he was the first person I knew who'd died,
rather than because he was my father. He was the "old-fashioned" kind
of father, someone to be feared rather than loved.

But when my mother died in 1997 the family lost it's glue. Since then
we've pretty well drifted apart, seven siblings, all orphans yet we're
now all in our 50s. (NOT a typo. My mother had 7 kids in 7.5 years!!).

When a workmate's second parent died last year, I commiserated with
him on being an orphan. He is also in his 50s. He commented he never
realised how he'd feel till then, and was quite surprised how lost he
felt, given his parent was elderly and death was not unexpected, that
being an orphan was quite devastating no matter what age you are. You
have finally lost the one person who has to love you no matter what.

Kathy in NZ

My Dad died when I was 21 - we had been more or less estranged most of
my life up until 5 years before his death, so I had so many conflicting
feelings about him passing. Luckily I had my Mom to rely on. We were
best friends. When she died, I was completely devastated. I still
miss her terribly. Orphanhood sucks - it makes you realize *you* are
all you have, no matter how good your spouse is. I truly believe
unconditional love only exists between a parent and child. And I am so
thankful that I am now able to have that relationship with my son.

-L.

On Tue 03 Jan 2006 10:21:02p, Thus Spake Zarathustra, or was it Kathy in
NZ?

Quoted message said:

-L. said:

I think losing your Mother is one of the hardest things you go through
in life. It changes you forever.

Quoted message said:

-L.

I agree. My father died in 1970, when I was still at school. It was
tough, mainly because he was the first person I knew who'd died,
rather than because he was my father. He was the "old-fashioned" kind
of father, someone to be feared rather than loved.

But when my mother died in 1997 the family lost it's glue. Since then
we've pretty well drifted apart, seven siblings, all orphans yet we're
now all in our 50s. (NOT a typo. My mother had 7 kids in 7.5 years!!).

When a workmate's second parent died last year, I commiserated with
him on being an orphan. He is also in his 50s. He commented he never
realised how he'd feel till then, and was quite surprised how lost he
felt, given his parent was elderly and death was not unexpected, that
being an orphan was quite devastating no matter what age you are. You
have finally lost the one person who has to love you no matter what.

Kathy in NZ

My parents were both in the 80s when they died, my father first, of a not
unexpected heart condition. We had never been *really* close, although we
both loved each other. We just never "connected". My mother's death was
unexpected. She was in hospital for surgery and never made it home.

My mother had several miscarriages before I was born, and identical twin
boys who were born when I was 9 years old, but they lived less than an
hour. My mother and I were very close. As an only child, losing her was
absolutely the most devastating thing that has or will every happen to me.
It was really my last connection to family, since I have few other
relatives who live thousands of miles away and from whom I'm estranged.

I've been particularly lucky, though, in that David and my mother had
fairly well "adopted" each other early on in our relationship. He became
like one of the sons she lost, and she became like the mother he never had,
as he had grown up with alcoholic and abusive parents. His loss of my
mother was almost as devastating to him as it was to me, and it has brought
us even closer together.

David has siblings and children from a previous marriage, but he is
estranged from all of them. We are "it" for each other in every possible
way.

--
Wayne Boatwright *¿*
__________________________________________________________________
And if we enter a room full of manure, may we believe in the pony.

In article <[email hidden]>,

ntantiques said:

At New Year's my thoughts are always of my parents - Mom, who taught
me to cook (and died so young in 1968) and Dad who taught me to
appreciate wonderful food (and left us in 1999). Everytime I cook one
of her "old standards," it takes me back...and I know she'd be tickled.
Our special New Year's Eve dinner last night was her version of
Scampi. Good stuff.

We lost my grandmother last year, around Christmas, she was an
illiterate Bedouin who was married at 13 and raised six children, even
after her husband died when my mom (the youngest) was an infant. She
remembered when things happened by the big events of each year, and she
could cook anything without checking any recipe, because even at the
end, she couldn't read. My cousin's daughter lost a five year battle
with cancer this past spring, she was 19. The year before we lost her
grandfather, my uncle.

Regards,
Ranee

Remove do not & spam to e-mail me.

"She seeks wool and flax, and works with willing hands." Prov 31:13

http://arabianknits.blogspot.com/
http://talesfromthekitchen.blogspot.com/

In article <[email hidden]>,

Ophelia said:

And it all depends on the mother. Mine was abusive and cruel.

I'm sorry to hear that. I had a similar experience, maybe no to the
same extent, and I think it will still be hard for me when she does go.
In some ways, I think it might be easier to at least have good memories.
I won't know until I'm there, though.

Regards,
Ranee

Remove do not & spam to e-mail me.

"She seeks wool and flax, and works with willing hands." Prov 31:13

http://arabianknits.blogspot.com/
http://talesfromthekitchen.blogspot.com/

In article <[email hidden]>,

(Curly Sue) said:

We were not a sport-observant family: no holiday TV games, no
superbowls, or world series, etc. My dad golfs but he doesn't talk
about it at all. He just enjoys playing. I think it's good to be
personally involved in sports for the exercise but otherwise it's a
bore. After watching cats and dogs, though, it seems there is a
biological urge to chase small fast-moving objects which these sports
satisfy. I don't mind actually going to games once in a while
(especially outside on a nice fall day) though my understanding of any
sport is limited to knowing where each team has to get the ball/puck
in order to make points.

I bring my knitting to sports events. 🙂

Regards,
Ranee

Remove do not & spam to e-mail me.

"She seeks wool and flax, and works with willing hands." Prov 31:13

http://arabianknits.blogspot.com/
http://talesfromthekitchen.blogspot.com/

"Ranee Mueller" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

I bring my knitting to sports events. 🙂

Ranee you need to look in RCTY where there have been many birthday
wishes for you

"Dan Abel" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

A few years later my son died. There was just no comparison. Here
was
a baby who had lived with us almost a year.

Dan, I would rather live my childhood over and over than lose my child.

You have my very sincerest sympathies.

"Wayne Boatwright" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

Then perhaps some things are best left forgotten. I'm so sorry to
know that.
Especially, since you are such a lovely person.

Thank you dear friend