Falling apart

Evelyn Ruut said:

The Queen of Cans and Jars said:

Luna said:

[email hidden] (The Queen of Cans and Jars) wrote:
> J. David Anderson <[email hidden]> wrote:
>
> > "Dwell on the past" ??? Everyone "dwells" on the past, it is how
> > we move forward, by using our past as a yardstick.
>
> i don't.
>
> > That is a fatuous, insulting, and pointless remark. You wouldn't
> > have any idea regarding another person's insight, not if your only
> > experience of that person is on usenet.
>
> i've read dozens and dozens of her posts. i have a pretty good idea
> of her level of insight.
>

And I, you. Yours seems to stop at the level of a cynical teenager who
mistakes cruelty for cleverness.

yes, disagreeing with your constant need for drama and occasionally
calling you on your [censored] is so cruel. so, so cruel. it's a wonder
i can live with myself at all.

Well, it isn't very supportive is it?

why would i want to support her need for drama? what useful purpose
does that serve?

I don't know what to say, except a) a lot of this is physiological,
and b) one way to avoid eating high-carb snacks is to not have
high-carb snacks in the home, ever.

Do you knit? Would you like to start? I know a couple of people who
found that knitting helped them through quitting smoking.

I think the suggestions about working out after work, etc., were very
good. Also the therapy.

Good luck!

T.

"Luna" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

There will be no hiding, no spinning, and no sugar-coating the truth in
this post.

If it wasn't for exercising, I would probably be halfway back to regaining
everything by now. I am about to smash through my first month of

smobriety.

Quoted message said:

In laymen's terms, it's almost a month since I quit smoking.

I have been doing really well on not smoking. One of the best, but

hardest

Quoted message said:

things about quitting has been all these repressed emotions coming to the
surface. I knew I liked to smoke, I knew I was physically addicted, but I
had no idea that using nicotine was actually a way to avoid feelings.
Well, apparently it was, because now I've turned into an emotional eater
instead.

I do fine in the beginning of my day. I eat a normal, healthy, small
portioned low-carb meal before heading to my part time afternoon job. I

am

Quoted message said:

fine at work. I resist partaking in the high-carb snacks. But when I get
home, it all falls apart. I start eating and I don't stop until I go to
sleep. I try to distract myself by going for a walk, but I come back in
and start eating again. I chew gum, but I spit it out and start eating
again. I try to butch up, and it works for 20 minutes or so, then I eat
again. I eat until I am in pain. I hate it. I hate it and I don't

know

Quoted message said:

how to stop. It's like part of me wants to hurt myself, and part of me is
standing there screaming at that part to [censored] stop it, and I literally
feel like I'm going crazy.

I have a long list of the possible emotional reasons for why I am eating,
but I don't know where to start or even what to do about any of them. I
have been keeping a journal and writing everything down, hoping it would

be

Quoted message said:

somehow cathartic, but it seems pointless. I've always been someone who
needs to actually do something productive and pragmatic to solve problems,
but there is nothing I can do to fix the things I am upset about. Knowing
I can't fix these things doesn't make the pain stop though. I have to

stop

Quoted message said:

eating. I have to, or I am just going to add one more problem.

But what then? I get the eating under control, and then what? I'll start
drinking? Doing heroin? I have to fix what's actually wrong, but I don't
know how.

--
Michelle Levin
http://www.mindspring.com/~lunachick

I have only 3 flaws. My first flaw is thinking that I only have 3 flaws.

Michelle,
I hear you, girl. Since Curt was diagnosed with terminal cancer I haven't
been doing so good myself. I've drank more (1 almost daily) smoking more d,
and no more regular exercise. so it is no shock that I've gained 10+ lbs
from my low of 144 (Dec 2003). and my 20 yr high school reunion is this
weekend and we spent last week at Breezy Point Resort in Pequot Lakes
Minnesota in a time share with my very obese MIL
and I ate like 10 oreos, a baguette (for a french dip sandwich) some fries,
peanut butter with butter on a hamburger bun, onion/american fries and drank
about half a bottle of Vanilla Absolute with Diet Vanilla Coke.

I know that most of this is emotional, because I feel so messed up about
the future. Why be thin and beautiful for a husband that won't be there, is
basically impotent from the drugs that keep him alive, works too hard, it
too tired to participate in family life, do what's the point, I can get thin
later after he is dead (see how [censored] up my thinking can be) and then he
will say "let's order pizza" or
" let's go eat China buffet" when he knows that I LOVE white rice and sweet
and sour chicken and not much else there.
Congrats on the stopping smoking. Curt has tried many times. He smokes about
2 pks per day. I smoke about 1/2 pack per week (if even) He is such a
[censored] when he tries to quit that I basically end up waiting for him to
start again (usually 2 days max) so that he will be cordial again.
I started out trying to help you and here I am venting out. sorry . but try
to figure it out. You have done so great and look so beautiful.
What are you going to do for work now that school will be starting and YMCA
camps will be over?
I am waiting for S4 and S13 to go to school (first preschool year ever for
Trenton 2.5 hrs/3 days per week for me!!!!!) and then I plan to get back to
me for awhile.

I told myself I wouldn't add this, but I kf'd JC and Ignoramus a long time
ago, so when (not if) either of them respond to this post with their hate,
please do not quote it in any reply you make to me. I don't need that kind
of mindless, negative feedback that those hatemongers spread.

--
Lori
220/154-158/144
LC since 1/17/03
Devoted wife of Curtis, Stage 4 Prostate cancer at age 40
http://community.webshots.com/user/lorismiller-date

In article <[email hidden]>,

(The Queen of Cans and Jars) said:

Luna said:

(The Queen of Cans and Jars) said:

J. David Anderson <[email hidden]> wrote:

> "Dwell on the past" ??? Everyone "dwells" on the past, it is how we move
> forward, by using our past as a yardstick.

i don't.

> That is a fatuous, insulting, and pointless remark. You wouldn't have
> any idea regarding another person's insight, not if your only experience
> of that person is on usenet.

i've read dozens and dozens of her posts. i have a pretty good idea of
her level of insight.

And I, you. Yours seems to stop at the level of a cynical teenager who
mistakes cruelty for cleverness.

yes, disagreeing with your constant need for drama and occasionally
calling you on your [censored] is so cruel. so, so cruel. it's a wonder
i can live with myself at all.

Whether you like yourself this way or not isn't the point. What are you
referring to as my constant need for drama? The fact that I share my
thoughts and feelings about my experiences in . . . a support group? Oh,
the horrors. I'm so caught up in drama that I actually use a support group
to, um, get support.

I don't know why you're here. I've never seen you either ask for support
or offer it. I've seen you offer insults and glib comments, but I'm still
waiting to see if you'll ever say anything genuine. I bet if you do, it
will be worth the wait.

When I do get called on my [censored], I own up to it. I have flaws, I admit
them and share how I'm working on them. You have flaws too, but you
pretend you don't, or you pretend that what others see as your flaws aren't
actually flaws at all. If you ever want to change your handle, "Little
Miss Perfect" would be a good name for you, since that's the image you want
to project.

--
Michelle Levin
http://www.mindspring.com/~lunachick

I have only 3 flaws. My first flaw is thinking that I only have 3 flaws.

In article <[email hidden]>,

(The Queen of Cans and Jars) said:

Evelyn Ruut said:

The Queen of Cans and Jars said:

Luna <[email hidden]> wrote:
> [email hidden] (The Queen of Cans and Jars) wrote:
> > J. David Anderson <[email hidden]> wrote:
> >
> > > "Dwell on the past" ??? Everyone "dwells" on the past, it is how
> > > we move forward, by using our past as a yardstick.
> >
> > i don't.
> >
> > > That is a fatuous, insulting, and pointless remark. You wouldn't
> > > have any idea regarding another person's insight, not if your only
> > > experience of that person is on usenet.
> >
> > i've read dozens and dozens of her posts. i have a pretty good idea
> > of her level of insight.
> >
>
> And I, you. Yours seems to stop at the level of a cynical teenager who
> mistakes cruelty for cleverness.

yes, disagreeing with your constant need for drama and occasionally
calling you on your [censored] is so cruel. so, so cruel. it's a wonder
i can live with myself at all.

Well, it isn't very supportive is it?

why would i want to support her need for drama? what useful purpose
does that serve?

When has QoC&J ever supported anyone, ever? Since she has everything in
life all figured out already, and hasn't ever had any internal struggles to
fight, she thinks anyone who does is just looking for drama. She can't
say something like "I've been there, I know it sucks, here's how I handled
it" because she _hasn't_ been there. She can't even have enough empathy to
compare someone else's struggle with, say, overeating, to her struggle with
something else, since she's either never had to struggle or she thinks only
the things _she_ struggles with are important or difficult.

Coming in here and being honest that since I stopped smoking I've had a
problem with binge eating has nothing to do with any "need for drama."
It's a legitimate problem that is perfectly appropriate for a diet support
group.

--
Michelle Levin
http://www.mindspring.com/~lunachick

I have only 3 flaws. My first flaw is thinking that I only have 3 flaws.

Luna said:

When has QoC&J ever supported anyone, ever? Since she has everything in
life all figured out already, and hasn't ever had any internal struggles to
fight, she thinks anyone who does is just looking for drama. She can't
say something like "I've been there, I know it sucks, here's how I handled
it" because she _hasn't_ been there.

you don't know anything about my life, michelle. you don't have any
idea where i have and haven't been.

Luna said:

I don't know why you're here. I've never seen you either ask for support
or offer it. I've seen you offer insults and glib comments, but I'm still
waiting to see if you'll ever say anything genuine.

you haven't been paying attention. i've offered many genuine comments,
and some of them have even been to you.

Luna wrote:
|| In article <[email hidden]>,
|| [email hidden] (The Queen of Cans and Jars) wrote:
||
||| Evelyn Ruut <[email hidden]> wrote:
|||
|||| "The Queen of Cans and Jars" <[email hidden]> wrote:
||||| Luna <[email hidden]> wrote:
|||||| [email hidden] (The Queen of Cans and Jars) wrote:
||||||| J. David Anderson <[email hidden]> wrote:
|||||||
|||||||| "Dwell on the past" ??? Everyone "dwells" on the past, it is
|||||||| how we move forward, by using our past as a yardstick.
|||||||
||||||| i don't.
|||||||
|||||||| That is a fatuous, insulting, and pointless remark. You
|||||||| wouldn't have any idea regarding another person's insight, not
|||||||| if your only experience of that person is on usenet.
|||||||
||||||| i've read dozens and dozens of her posts. i have a pretty good
||||||| idea of her level of insight.
|||||||
||||||
|||||| And I, you. Yours seems to stop at the level of a cynical
|||||| teenager who mistakes cruelty for cleverness.
|||||
||||| yes, disagreeing with your constant need for drama and
||||| occasionally calling you on your [censored] is so cruel. so, so
||||| cruel. it's a wonder i can live with myself at all.
||||
|||| Well, it isn't very supportive is it?
|||
||| why would i want to support her need for drama? what useful purpose
||| does that serve?
||
|| When has QoC&J ever supported anyone, ever? Since she has
|| everything in
|| life all figured out already, and hasn't ever had any internal
|| struggles to fight, she thinks anyone who does is just looking for
|| drama. She can't
|| say something like "I've been there, I know it sucks, here's how I
|| handled
|| it" because she _hasn't_ been there. She can't even have enough
|| empathy to compare someone else's struggle with, say, overeating, to
|| her struggle with something else, since she's either never had to
|| struggle or she thinks only the things _she_ struggles with are
|| important or difficult.
||
|| Coming in here and being honest that since I stopped smoking I've
|| had a problem with binge eating has nothing to do with any "need for
|| drama."
|| It's a legitimate problem that is perfectly appropriate for a diet
|| support group.

this is some support group weirdness.....seems to happen a lot.

you're not getting support in these posts yet these are the ones you're
spending time responding to.

what's up with that? Oh, I see....going into attack mode is a handy
distraction from eating.....okay, carry on. 🙂

Elana wrote:
|| Luna <[email hidden]> wrote in message
|| news:<[email hidden]>...
||| I think to stop this behavior, I am going to completely change my
||| after
||| work routine. Instead of coming immediately home, I'll go to the Y
||| and work
||| out. Then when I get home, it will be a different time of day, I
||| will feel
||| different, and maybe that will reprogram me into behaving
||| differently.
||
|| Michelle,
||
|| I don't know you that well, but, from your recent posts, it seems
|| that you're building too many rules around you. In the past few
|| weeks, you have made a whole bunch of new restrictions for yourself.
|| #1. You're going to thank someone for every meal - that's very
|| noble,
|| and is a part of many great religions, but is this pure gratitude, or
|| are you creating another obsessive behavior?
|| #2. No more eating in your "comfy" chair - the reasons for this
|| decision are clear, however, you're under much stress already, and
|| here you are adding another stress.
|| #3. No more coming home early - again, the reasons are clear, but
|| yet
|| another rule.
|| #4. No more smoking - clearly, the most important of all, but still,
|| a rule, and a terribly difficult one.
|| #5. No more over-eating - here is another rule that you're trying to
|| establish for yourself.
||
|| The intentions behind these rules are great, and I think that you
|| should work towards fulfilling every one of them. However, I can see
|| why it's so tough for you now - you have so many "no"'s all at once.
|| The more "no"s you create, the more you want to get out of your own
|| cell, and here comes the food in shining armor - it offers you escape
|| from your own restrictions. This is how I see the situation anyway.
||
|| The questions I would ask are these: Why do you feel like you're
|| losing control? What are you trying to control in the first place?
|| Why are you trying to control it? What will happen if you'll let go?
|| Is there any particular even or person that comes to mind when you're
|| thinking of control?

She trying to quit smoking without regaining all of the weight she has lost.
Aside from #1, the others may be required.

||
|| Of course, I might be totally wrong, and maybe your reasons for
|| these rules are completely different. But I am a control freak, and
|| when I lose control, I tend to do exactly what you're doing here -
|| making new rules, or binging. In any case, absolutely best wishes to
|| you! Hang in there!
||
|| Elana

I started smoking when I was 8 years old. I quit 20 years later.

There is not try, only do or not do.

--
You take stupid to a new level. -- MFW

"Luna" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

In article <[email hidden]>,

JC Der Koenig said:

If this is the hardest thing you've ever done, then you should give

thanks

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

daily.

I do.

Quoted message said:

More than that, you should find new ways to challenge yourself.

Like what? Should I go get addicted to heroin so I can quit that too?
Maybe something like climbing a mountain would be hard, but once you're at
the top, it's over. You don't have to keep climbing it forever. I know
ex-smokers who still deal with cravings years later. Surviving the death
of a loved one is hard, and I've been through that, twice, but even though
the pain never goes away, you don't have along with it the constant
temptation to bring them back, because it's impossible. I challenge

myself

Quoted message said:

every day at work, and every day at the gym, and every night with my
writing. "Challenging" and "difficult" are two different things. So are
"difficult" and "hate everything, everything hurts, feel like I want to
crawl out of my skin and kill everything and everyone."

Since you've never had to overcome an addiction, your judgments on how
difficult it is have absolutely no value. And, even if you had, you've
never been me, so your judgments on how difficult it is _for me_ still

have

Quoted message said:

no value.

You seem to understand this with weightlifting, I've never seen you
belittle a newbie weightlifter for not being able to lift the same amount
as a pro. Apply that same logic to other endeavors, and you may be a
little closer to becoming a human being.

--
Michelle Levin
http://www.mindspring.com/~lunachick

I have only 3 flaws. My first flaw is thinking that I only have 3 flaws.

JC Der Koenig said:

I started smoking when I was 8 years old. I quit 20 years later.

There is not try, only do or not do.

8 years old??? You must have grown up very fast!

Marsha/Ohio

In article <[email hidden]>,

(The Queen of Cans and Jars) said:

Luna said:

When has QoC&J ever supported anyone, ever? Since she has everything in
life all figured out already, and hasn't ever had any internal struggles to
fight, she thinks anyone who does is just looking for drama. She can't
say something like "I've been there, I know it sucks, here's how I handled
it" because she _hasn't_ been there.

you don't know anything about my life, michelle. you don't have any
idea where i have and haven't been.

I know just as much about your life as you do about my level of insight,
whether or not I need therapy, how difficult it is for me to quit smoking,
and whether I am posting here because I need support or I'm just "seeking
drama." I have just as much of a right to make inferences, guesses, and
judgments about you as you do about me.

--
Michelle Levin
http://www.mindspring.com/~lunachick

I have only 3 flaws. My first flaw is thinking that I only have 3 flaws.

If you didn't find it difficult to quit, then you weren't addicted. Try
quitting something you actually are addicted to, then get back to me on
whether or not it was difficult.

In article <[email hidden]>,

JC Der Koenig said:

I started smoking when I was 8 years old. I quit 20 years later.

There is not try, only do or not do.

--
Michelle Levin
http://www.mindspring.com/~lunachick

I have only 3 flaws. My first flaw is thinking that I only have 3 flaws.

Luna said:

In article <[email hidden]>,

(The Queen of Cans and Jars) said:

Luna said:

When has QoC&J ever supported anyone, ever? Since she has everything
in life all figured out already, and hasn't ever had any internal
struggles to fight, she thinks anyone who does is just looking for
drama. She can't say something like "I've been there, I know it
sucks, here's how I handled it" because she _hasn't_ been there.

you don't know anything about my life, michelle. you don't have any
idea where i have and haven't been.

I know just as much about your life as you do about my level of insight,
whether or not I need therapy, how difficult it is for me to quit smoking,
and whether I am posting here because I need support or I'm just "seeking
drama." I have just as much of a right to make inferences, guesses, and
judgments about you as you do about me.

i've posted far, far less about my personal life than you have.

think about it.

"Marsha" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

JC Der Koenig said:

I started smoking when I was 8 years old. I quit 20 years later.

There is not try, only do or not do.

8 years old??? You must have grown up very fast!

I lacked effective supervision.

But yes, at 16 I was fully emancipated.

You allow yourself to be addicted, or not.

Everything else is just an excuse.

--
Now [censored]. You cannot possibly be this stupid and remember to
breathe. You must be trolling. -- Carmen

"Luna" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

If you didn't find it difficult to quit, then you weren't addicted. Try
quitting something you actually are addicted to, then get back to me on
whether or not it was difficult.

In article <[email hidden]>,

JC Der Koenig said:

I started smoking when I was 8 years old. I quit 20 years later.

There is not try, only do or not do.

--
Michelle Levin
http://www.mindspring.com/~lunachick

I have only 3 flaws. My first flaw is thinking that I only have 3 flaws.

In article <[email hidden]>,

(The Queen of Cans and Jars) said:

Luna said:

In article <[email hidden]>,

(The Queen of Cans and Jars) said:

Luna <[email hidden]> wrote:

> When has QoC&J ever supported anyone, ever? Since she has everything
> in life all figured out already, and hasn't ever had any internal
> struggles to fight, she thinks anyone who does is just looking for
> drama. She can't say something like "I've been there, I know it
> sucks, here's how I handled it" because she _hasn't_ been there.

you don't know anything about my life, michelle. you don't have any
idea where i have and haven't been.

I know just as much about your life as you do about my level of insight,
whether or not I need therapy, how difficult it is for me to quit smoking,
and whether I am posting here because I need support or I'm just "seeking
drama." I have just as much of a right to make inferences, guesses, and
judgments about you as you do about me.

i've posted far, far less about my personal life than you have.

think about it.

I have. I wonder why you are here since you don't post about any of your
own struggles, and the vast majority of your responses to others are
judgmental and nasty in tone. That leaves a limited number of reasons why
you might choose to participate in this group, none of which indicate a
person with empathy or consideration for others. The very fact that you
_don't_ post anything about your personal life, in a frikkin' support group
for cryin' out loud, says volumes about who you are. Afraid maybe others
would judge you the way you judge them? Afraid you couldn't take it?
Pretend not to care so you can't be vulnerable? Genuinely don't care
because you don't think people are worth caring about, including yourself?
Don't want to participate because you think you're better than everyone
else? Don't have any meaningful insights about your own struggles because
you don't chose to look that deeply at yourself?

--
Michelle Levin
http://www.mindspring.com/~lunachick

I have only 3 flaws. My first flaw is thinking that I only have 3 flaws.

Luna said:

In article <[email hidden]>,

(The Queen of Cans and Jars) said:

Luna said:

In article <[email hidden]>,
[email hidden] (The Queen of Cans and Jars) wrote:

> Luna <[email hidden]> wrote:
>
> > When has QoC&J ever supported anyone, ever? Since she has everything
> > in life all figured out already, and hasn't ever had any internal
> > struggles to fight, she thinks anyone who does is just looking for
> > drama. She can't say something like "I've been there, I know it
> > sucks, here's how I handled it" because she _hasn't_ been there.
>
> you don't know anything about my life, michelle. you don't have any
> idea where i have and haven't been.
>

I know just as much about your life as you do about my level of insight,
whether or not I need therapy, how difficult it is for me to quit smoking,
and whether I am posting here because I need support or I'm just "seeking
drama." I have just as much of a right to make inferences, guesses, and
judgments about you as you do about me.

i've posted far, far less about my personal life than you have.

think about it.

I have. I wonder why you are here since you don't post about any of your
own struggles, and the vast majority of your responses to others are
judgmental and nasty in tone. That leaves a limited number of reasons why
you might choose to participate in this group, none of which indicate a
person with empathy or consideration for others. The very fact that you
_don't_ post anything about your personal life, in a frikkin' support group
for cryin' out loud, says volumes about who you are. Afraid maybe others
would judge you the way you judge them? Afraid you couldn't take it?
Pretend not to care so you can't be vulnerable? Genuinely don't care
because you don't think people are worth caring about, including yourself?
Don't want to participate because you think you're better than everyone
else? Don't have any meaningful insights about your own struggles because
you don't chose to look that deeply at yourself?

nope.

In article <[email hidden]>,

(The Queen of Cans and Jars) said:

Quoted message said:

Afraid maybe others
would judge you the way you judge them? Afraid you couldn't take it?
Pretend not to care so you can't be vulnerable? Genuinely don't care
because you don't think people are worth caring about, including yourself?
Don't want to participate because you think you're better than everyone
else? Don't have any meaningful insights about your own struggles because
you don't chose to look that deeply at yourself?

nope.

There you go then. Maybe my interpretation of your motivation is wrong, but
at least I offer a logical train of thought to back up my hypothesis. In
comparison, you just throw out insulting, dismissive analyses like "drama
queen" with no explanation. I'm going through some tough [censored] here, it's
physically and emotionally painful, and I'm doing the best I can. I didn't
expect it to be as hard as it was, and the surprise in how hard it is makes
it even harder. I didn't go into it thinking it would be so big a deal, I
expected on a scale of 1 - 10 maybe a 4 or 5 level of difficulty, and
instead I get a 9 or 10. So maybe it's the surprise I'm feeling that makes
you think I'm being overly dramatic? Maybe it's the fact that I like to
use descriptive language? The act of writing calms me, it's cathartic to
get out everything I'm feeling, and I feel less alone when I can share it
with other people.

I find it extremely insulting and cruel for you to dismiss my real, actual
thoughts and feelings about what is really going on in my life as just some
story I've just concocted in order to create drama. I'd thought about
hiding what was going on with me, but I finally decided to come clean in
the hopes that someone else here knew what I was going through and could
offer some constructive advice. And I'm greatful that I got some from
others, but the experience is tainted by you basically accusing me of
lying. Did you ever stop to consider that maybe I'm a real person, and I
really did quit smoking and it really did trigger binge eating, and I
really am having a hard time stopping it, and I really am having some
emotional issues come up that I've been supressing and now I'm having to
deal with them? Or did you think that hey, even if I wasn't making it up,
and your accusation was totally wrong, that you just don't give a [censored]
anyway? Or did you think for some reason that I have no business sharing my
personal life in this group just because you choose not to?

That's the cruelty I was talking about. And yes, I'm more sensitive to it
now than I was in the past, I can't numb my feelings with smoking or eating
any more, so I just have to feel them, and [censored] it, you know, if I have to
feel this anger and disappointment and hurt at the things you say then I'm
[censored] well going to tell you that I'm feeling it, and if you want to
think I'm making it up because I somehow get a kick out of it then that's
really goddamn ironic because all I want it to do is stop.

--
Michelle Levin
http://www.mindspring.com/~lunachick

I have only 3 flaws. My first flaw is thinking that I only have 3 flaws.

Luna said:

I find it extremely insulting and cruel for you to dismiss my real, actual
thoughts and feelings about what is really going on in my life as just some
story I've just concocted in order to create drama.

i didn't start out giving you a hard time about this. i offered you
support: i told you that i think you need therapy, and i was sincere
about that. my opinion still stands.