Originally Posted by MotownBikeBoy
I don't sleep a lot anyway, 5 days a week I have to get up between 3 and 4 AM most weeks.
Well ... It doesn't help. I have lived my life for more than a year and a half now in a perpetual high alert mode, always keyed up as if I had had about a dozen shots of espresso, five times a day, each and every day. Sleep just feels like ... A waste of time. But I have no balance, I recognize that "Before" my life was "safe" and "ordinary" and "boring" - but I didn't feel "alive". "After" has been as Dickens wrote, the best of times, and the worst of times. Contemplating a miserable fate and a painful death has made me feel so ... Alive. Exactly as Walter White said to his wife in the final episode of Breaking Bad - Why did you do it? - Because it made me feel so alive. Maybe it's a personality quirk, or a character flaw, or gross overreaction, or all of the above, but I now go to real extremes, hence the crazy things I do I never would have done "before". And, it is addictive. But unsustainable. I recognize that, I am burning myself out. I was afraid I only had time to do a sprint, but turns out I have plenty of time, it's a marathon. So, I am trying to work on balance, keeping what works, and doing what I need to ... Like getting more sleep.Volnix said:Maybe that's why you feel so bad... :big-smile:
It could be mania.Originally Posted by MotownBikeBoy
Maybe it's a personality quirk, or a character flaw, or gross overreaction, or all of the above
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