General fitness, health and nutrition · Public discussion

Hurtful Comments

Started by Amber · · Last activity · 25 posts · 783 views

This thread is locked and is currently read-only.

Thread navigation

Jump through the discussion

Go to the original post, the replies on this page, or the latest preserved contribution.

Thread details

What we know about this thread

Original section
General fitness, health and nutrition
Published
27 December 2003
Last activity
27 December 2003
Original author
Amber
Posts
25
Discussion status
Public discussion
Total views
783
Views / 30 days
0

The navigation and discussion metadata provide context. Posts remain in their original chronological order.

Showing posts 1–20 of 25
Posts remain in their original chronological order.

Text size
  1. I recently cut my hair. It used to be pretty long, and now it is above my collar. I was in class
    today when my friend wrote me a note saying that I should have the front pieces below my chin. I
    asked why? and she pointed to her chin. She's also a little over weight and has the same double chin
    problem as me. I understand she may have been trying to be helpful, but this really hurt. Like hair
    can cover that up anyways. I guess I feel a little more motivated to succeed at WW now because of
    that, but it still makes me feel like a fat, ugly, person. Shouldn't your friends accept you for who
    you are? My mom is also heavy and she's always saying stuff about how I don't need another cookie or
    this and that at get togethers, and trying to be helpful about how I should loose weight. I'm tired
    of people doing this. Friends and family shouldn't do this. Does anyone else have a similar
    experience? Feelings?

    Amber
    214/208/165

  2. Amber,

    I'm sorry you're going through this. I don't have friends or family who are like this and you
    shouldn't have to go through it. The worst thing I've had happen is a friend talking to me about
    eating things before bed and how maybe if I gave that up I'd lose weight better. As I explained to
    her I shouldn't have to give up what every skinny people do if I'm doing it within reason. Since
    then she hasn't said anything and has been supportive. Unfortunately I don't have any advice on how
    to handle this but would love to offer support for you to vent!!!!

    --
    Janice
    263/257/150 (maybe 130)

    "Amber" <[email hidden]> wrote in message "]news:[email hidden]...

    Quoted message said:

    I recently cut my hair. It used to be pretty long, and now it is above my collar. I was in class
    today when my friend wrote me a note saying that I should have the front pieces below my chin. I
    asked why? and she pointed to her chin. She's also a little over weight and has the same double
    chin problem as me. I understand she may have been trying to be helpful, but this really hurt.
    Like hair can cover that up anyways. I guess I feel a little more motivated to succeed at WW now
    because of that, but it still makes me feel like a fat, ugly, person. Shouldn't your friends
    accept you for who you are? My mom is also heavy and she's always saying stuff about how I don't
    need another cookie or this and that at get togethers, and trying to be helpful about how I should
    loose weight. I'm tired of people doing this. Friends and family shouldn't do this. Does anyone
    else have a similar experience? Feelings?

    Amber
    214/208/165

  3. Hi Amber,

    The closest I've had recently was my fiance attempting to "help" by watching over my shoulder and
    continually saying "should you eat that?", and that was last year. When I started doing WW I didn't
    tell him at all for a few months, and then when I did I laid down the law and told him that if he
    uttered those words again I would slap him upside the head because it was NOT supportive. Now he's
    modified it to things like "do you have the points for that", since he at least somewhat understands
    the concept of points.

    My fiance, BTW, is on the shorter size for a guy (about 5'8"😉 and wears a size Medium. His mother
    has been telling him for the last few years that he's getting fat. Yeesh. You can imagine what
    she thinks of me. Fortunately when she starts badmouthing me it's in another language 🙂 The only
    part I know is that part that translates to "evil white devil woman"! 😉 At least "fat" isn't in
    that phrase.

    Amberle3

    Amber said:

    I recently cut my hair. It used to be pretty long, and now it is above my collar. I was in class
    today when my friend wrote me a note saying that I should have the front pieces below my chin. I
    asked why? and she pointed to her chin. She's also a little over weight and has the same double
    chin problem as me. I understand she may have been trying to be helpful, but this really hurt.
    Like hair can cover that up anyways. I guess I feel a little more motivated to succeed at WW now
    because of that, but it still makes me feel like a fat, ugly, person. Shouldn't your friends
    accept you for who you are? My mom is also heavy and she's always saying stuff about how I don't
    need another cookie or this and that at get togethers, and trying to be helpful about how I should
    loose weight. I'm tired of people doing this. Friends and family shouldn't do this. Does anyone
    else have a similar experience? Feelings?

    Amber
    214/208/165

    --
    Amberle3
    249/224/220-minigoal/150?
    Renewed my commitment to me 3/30/03

    Happy Healthy Holidays Exercise Challenge:
    angelfire.comhhh.htm

    New Year, New You Weight Loss Challenge:
    angelfire.comnyny.htm

  4. So sorry to hear you were hurt, Amber. I'm 60 years old and throughout all my life I have been
    subject to my mother's criticizm regarding my weight. Actually, that's not so, when I was a teen
    wearing size 10 I don't remember her saying anything, but then she didn't seem to care anyway. She
    was no lightweight herself and didn't lose her weight till after she was 55. Then she put herself
    and my dad on a starvation diet. Sure she lost the weight and kept it off, but she was not healthy
    afterwards. I loved my mom, but I don't miss her. She made my life miserable as well as my dad with
    lack of support and undermining, uncaring behavior. Don't pay any attention to what your friend
    said. I doubt she meant to hurt you, but hindsight is 20/20. I would tell her how I felt.

    "Amber" <[email hidden]> wrote in message "]news:[email hidden]...

    Quoted message said:

    I recently cut my hair. It used to be pretty long, and now it is above my collar. I was in class
    today when my friend wrote me a note saying that I should have the front pieces below my chin. I
    asked why? and she pointed to her chin. She's also a little over weight and has the same double
    chin problem as me. I understand she may have been trying to be helpful, but this really hurt.
    Like hair can cover that up anyways. I guess I feel a little more motivated to succeed at WW now
    because of that, but it still makes me feel like a fat, ugly, person. Shouldn't your friends
    accept you for who you are? My mom is also heavy and she's always saying stuff about how I don't
    need another cookie or this and that at get togethers, and trying to be helpful about how I should
    loose weight. I'm tired of people doing this. Friends and family shouldn't do this. Does anyone
    else have a similar experience? Feelings?

    Amber
    214/208/165

  5. hey, are you happy with how the haircut turned out? THAT'S what's really important! If you feel
    good, nuts to everyone else! I do think there are people in the world (and many of them) that the
    only way they can feel better about themselves is to point out what they think are the flaws of
    others ... even if they aren't there. My guess is that your friend has noticed your weightloss and
    is somewhat jealous, but unwilling to do anything about her own needs.

    I haven't encountered too many hurtful things, or just haven't noticed ... until today, and I blew
    it off. My brother came over today to go with me to take mom out for lunch. Walked in the door of my
    house and told me I looked anorexic (I don't, I'm not - trust me!). It hurt, I was a bit put off but
    after thinking more about it I can't help but think maybe he is a bit jealous? He had lost a bunch
    of weight, but recently put much of it back on. Maybe by saying this to me, he thinks I will go back
    to my old habits (like he has) and this will make him feel better? You know, like thinking "hey, if
    she has the same problem I do, then I must be ok"?

    I'm rambling ... they're morons. <g> You are NOT a fat, ugly person - please don't feel that way.
    Don't let these people bring you down. I love the fact that this only seems to kick up your
    motivation. That is really a positive! Use the ignorance of others to work to your advantage and
    prove 'em all wrong!

    Joyce current weight: 130; total loss 98.8 lbs Lifetime: 4/4/03

    Amber said:

    I recently cut my hair. It used to be pretty long, and now it is above my collar. I was in class
    today when my friend wrote me a note saying that I should have the front pieces below my chin. I
    asked why? and she pointed to her chin. She's also a little over weight and has the same double
    chin problem as me. I understand she may have been trying to be helpful, but this really hurt. Like
    hair can cover that up anyways. I guess I feel a little more motivated to succeed at WW now because
    of that, but it still makes me feel like a fat, ugly, person. Shouldn't your friends accept you for
    who you are? My mom is also heavy and she's always saying stuff about how I don't need another
    cookie or this and that at get togethers, and trying to be helpful about how I should loose weight.
    I'm tired of people doing this. Friends and family shouldn't do this. Does anyone else have a
    similar experience? Feelings?

    Amber
    214/208/165

  6. Heck yes your friends should accept you for who you are, but in the world
    that doesn't always come out that way. They would probably say they were
    just trying to be helpful because they love you. The Feelings are what is a
    problem here, if you call yourself names like "fat" and "ugly" because of
    what some person said, I don't think that will help you in the long run. I
    spent most of my life calling myself things like that. It did not help me
    lose the weight. You can choose to say to yourself "oh, she is just trying
    to be helpful, poor thing........." or "she maybe is a little envious
    because I am doing so well with WW" and pat yourself on the head for doing
    good things for your body. If you feel good, it can't hurt you 🙂🙂

    "Amber" <[email hidden]> wrote in message "]news:[email hidden]...

    Quoted message said:

    I recently cut my hair. It used to be pretty long, and now it is above my collar. I was in class
    today when my friend wrote me a note saying that I should have the front pieces below my chin. I
    asked why? and she pointed to her chin. She's also a little over weight and has the same double
    chin problem as me. I understand she may have been trying to be helpful, but this really hurt.
    Like hair can cover that up anyways. I guess I feel a little more motivated to succeed at WW now
    because of that, but it still makes me feel like a fat, ugly, person. Shouldn't your friends
    accept you for who you are? My mom is also heavy and she's always saying stuff about how I don't
    need another cookie or this and that at get togethers, and trying to be helpful about how I should
    loose weight. I'm tired of people doing this. Friends and family shouldn't do this. Does anyone
    else have a similar experience? Feelings?

    Amber
    214/208/165

  7. Amber said:


    I recently cut my hair. It used to be pretty long, and now it is above my collar. I was in class
    today when my friend wrote me a note saying that I should have the front pieces below my chin. I
    asked why? and she pointed to her chin. She's also a little over weight and has the same double
    chin problem as me. I understand she may have been trying to be helpful, but this really hurt.
    Like hair can cover that up anyways. I guess I feel a little more motivated to succeed at WW now
    because of that, but it still makes me feel like a fat, ugly, person. Shouldn't your friends
    accept you for who you are? My mom is also heavy and she's always saying stuff about how I don't
    need another cookie or this and that at get togethers, and trying to be helpful about how I should
    loose weight. I'm tired of people doing this. Friends and family shouldn't do this. Does anyone
    else have a similar experience? Feelings?

    Amber
    214/208/165

    Ha! Some friend that is! You can tell her from me that some 120 lb women have double chins! I did,
    aged 19 and 120 lbs! Aged 46 and a lot heavier, I still have it. It's my face, I can have a double
    chin if I want to! And where your hair is makes NO difference at all: even a beard doesn't hide a
    double chin - ask an over weight bloke!
    --

    Lady Catherine, Wardrobe Mistress of the Chocolate Buttons diceyhome.free-online.co.ukdiceyhome.free-online.co.uk
    Click on Kate's Pages and explore!

  8. I think most people are only trying to help in the only way they know how.
    It doesn't make what they do hurt any less. Remember, only YOU are in
    control of your body, how you wear your hair, and what you do or do not eat.
    In the end I acknowledge these hurt feelings to myself because it makes me
    feel more in control and more determined to do what I know is best for my
    body, I totally understand how you feel, Lee
    Amber <[email hidden]> wrote in message "]news:[email hidden]...

    Quoted message said:

    I recently cut my hair. It used to be pretty long, and now it is above my collar. I was in class
    today when my friend wrote me a note saying that I should have the front pieces below my chin. I
    asked why? and she pointed to her chin. She's also a little over weight and has the same double
    chin problem as me. I understand she may have been trying to be helpful, but this really hurt.
    Like hair can cover that up anyways. I guess I feel a little more motivated to succeed at WW now
    because of that, but it still makes me feel like a fat, ugly, person. Shouldn't your friends
    accept you for who you are? My mom is also heavy and she's always saying stuff about how I don't
    need another cookie or this and that at get togethers, and trying to be helpful about how I should
    loose weight. I'm tired of people doing this. Friends and family shouldn't do this. Does anyone
    else have a similar experience? Feelings?

    Amber
    214/208/165

  9. My own sister said something to me like that. I know she was not meaning to be hurtful, but it hurts
    just the same. It was during the summer at a family gathering & I had a short sleeve blouse on. I
    lifted my arm & she blurted out that I should never do that as it showed my hanging skin on my arms.
    It was bad enough that she said it, but to say it so loudly to all that were there was
    unforgiveable. But she just didn't think & really didn't mean to hurt me at all. I think she thought
    that she was actually being kind to me drawing me attention to it - as if I didn't already know ;-)
    I didn't say anything to her, but like, you, I have noticed so many people making comments that they
    should keep to themselves. Elaine K
    331.4/215.6/179

    Amber said:

    I recently cut my hair. It used to be pretty long, and now it is above my collar. I was in class
    today when my friend wrote me a note saying that I should have the front pieces below my chin. I
    asked why? and she pointed to her chin. She's also a little over weight and has the same double
    chin problem as me. I understand she may have been trying to be helpful, but this really hurt.
    Like hair can cover that up anyways. I guess I feel a little more motivated to succeed at WW now
    because of that, but it still makes me feel like a fat, ugly, person. Shouldn't your friends
    accept you for who you are? My mom is also heavy and she's always saying stuff about how I don't
    need another cookie or this and that at get togethers, and trying to be helpful about how I should
    loose weight. I'm tired of people doing this. Friends and family shouldn't do this. Does anyone
    else have a similar experience? Feelings?

    Amber
    214/208/165

  10. Amber said:

    I recently cut my hair. It used to be pretty long, and now it is above my collar. I was in class
    today when my friend wrote me a note saying that I should have the front pieces below my chin. I
    asked why? and she pointed to her chin. She's also a little over weight and has the same double
    chin problem as me. I understand she may have been trying to be helpful, but this really hurt. Like
    hair can cover that up anyways. I guess I feel a little more motivated to succeed at WW now because
    of that, but it still makes me feel like a fat, ugly, person. Shouldn't your friends accept you for
    who you are? My mom is also heavy and she's always saying stuff about how I don't need another
    cookie or this and that at get togethers, and trying to be helpful about how I should loose weight.
    I'm tired of people doing this. Friends and family shouldn't do this. Does anyone else have a
    similar experience? Feelings?

    I'm sorry Amber, that wasn't very nice of your friend. Is she maybe feeling a little threatened by
    your weight loss? People do and say funny things when they see someone achieving something they know
    they should be doing.

    No-one has ever said anything really nasty to me, but after I'd lost about 30 pounds, my sister very
    kindly told me that she was thrilled I was losing weight, because the last time she'd seen me I had
    an [censored] like the rear end of a truck. I was happy she'd kept that comment to herself until after I'd
    been doing well with the weight loss. She recently apologised for saying it though.

    Hang in there Amber, soon enough you'll have people showering you with compliments.

    --
    Erin in NZ
    125/88.5/75 kgs
    125.88/5.1/165 lbs

    NYNY goal 180.6lbs (82 kilos)

    "It is not the mountain we conquer, it is ourselves" Sir Edmund Hilary

  11. What's important is how you feel about your hair cut and I'm sure you are happy with it or you
    wouldn't have had it done. I bet it looks great!!!

    "Amber" <[email hidden]> wrote in message "]news:[email hidden]...

    Quoted message said:

    I recently cut my hair. It used to be pretty long, and now it is above my collar. I was in class
    today when my friend wrote me a note saying that I should have the front pieces below my chin. I
    asked why? and she pointed to her chin. She's also a little over weight and has the same double
    chin problem as me. I understand she may have been trying to be helpful, but this really hurt.
    Like hair can cover that up anyways. I guess I feel a little more motivated to succeed at WW now
    because of that, but it still makes me feel like a fat, ugly, person. Shouldn't your friends
    accept you for who you are? My mom is also heavy and she's always saying stuff about how I don't
    need another cookie or this and that at get togethers, and trying to be helpful about how I should
    loose weight. I'm tired of people doing this. Friends and family shouldn't do this. Does anyone
    else have a similar experience? Feelings?

    Amber
    214/208/165

  12. Hi Amber,

    My father used to do this all the time. He thought he was doing things for the right reason.

    I recently heard a young girl talking, on tv, about hurtful comments from others about her weight.
    She said "They forget all about what they've said in just a few minutes. I think about the comments
    for hours and hours afterwards." Those words really made me feel so bad for her. But I also
    understood that people just don't think about the hurtful comments in the same way we do. It is OUR
    internal dialogue after they've made a comment that really does the damage. i.e...your comment: I

    Quoted message said:

    guess I feel a little more motivated to succeed at WW now because of that, but it still makes me
    feel like a fat, ugly, person.

    We have to learn to be kinder to ourselves, and restructure our own thinking, since we can't change
    what others say.

    Good luck, Amber...try not to let someone else get you down.

    And YES, we should expect our friends to accept us as we are. Everyone has imperfections of
    some kind.

    Carol

    --
    ............................................................
    318/242.4/169
    71.6 lost since December 2002
    I am a slim person in process.
    ..............................................................
    "Amber" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
    "]news:[email hidden]...

    Quoted message said:

    I recently cut my hair. It used to be pretty long, and now it is above
    my collar. I was in class today when my friend wrote me a note saying
    that I should have the front pieces below my chin. I asked why? and she
    pointed to her chin. She's also a little over weight and has the same
    double chin problem as me. I understand she may have been trying to be
    helpful, but this really hurt. Like hair can cover that up anyways. I
    guess I feel a little more motivated to succeed at WW now because of
    that, but it still makes me feel like a fat, ugly, person. Shouldn't
    your friends accept you for who you are? My mom is also heavy and she's
    always saying stuff about how I don't need another cookie or this and
    that at get togethers, and trying to be helpful about how I should loose
    weight. I'm tired of people doing this. Friends and family shouldn't do
    this. Does anyone else have a similar experience? Feelings?

    Amber
    214/208/165

  13. On Fri, 21 Nov 2003 05:22:06 GMT, Amberle3 <[email hidden]>

    Quoted message said:

    Hi Amber,

    The closest I've had recently was my fiance attempting to "help" by watching over my shoulder and
    continually saying "should you eat that?", and that was last year. When I started doing WW I didn't
    tell him at all for a few months, and then when I did I laid down the law and told him that if he
    uttered those words again I would slap him upside the head because it was NOT supportive. Now he's
    modified it to things like "do you have the points for that", since he at least somewhat
    understands the concept of points.

    My fiance, BTW, is on the shorter size for a guy (about 5'8"😉 and wears a size Medium. His mother
    has been telling him for the last few years that he's getting fat. Yeesh. You can imagine what
    she thinks of me. Fortunately when she starts badmouthing me it's in another language 🙂 The only
    part I know is that part that translates to "evil white devil woman"! 😉 At least "fat" isn't in
    that phrase.

    You know it is hard to laugh when you have a laptop in your lap (G) And I resemble that guy height,
    LADY!!!!! (G)

    Quoted message said:


    Amberle3

    Amber said:

    I recently cut my hair. It used to be pretty long, and now it is above my collar. I was in class
    today when my friend wrote me a note saying that I should have the front pieces below my chin. I
    asked why? and she pointed to her chin. She's also a little over weight and has the same double
    chin problem as me. I understand she may have been trying to be helpful, but this really hurt.
    Like hair can cover that up anyways. I guess I feel a little more motivated to succeed at WW now
    because of that, but it still makes me feel like a fat, ugly, person. Shouldn't your friends
    accept you for who you are? My mom is also heavy and she's always saying stuff about how I don't
    need another cookie or this and that at get togethers, and trying to be helpful about how I
    should loose weight. I'm tired of people doing this. Friends and family shouldn't do this. Does
    anyone else have a similar experience? Feelings?

    Amber
    214/208/165

  14. Ya know, I love some of the ignorant comments that come out of peoples mouths. <g> Calories are
    calories, regardless as to the time of day you eat them. The body only needs a certain amount of
    calories to run efficiently ... eat more than that amount and the end result is obvious. BUT those
    calories can be consumed early in the day with the same results. I wonder what your friend would say
    if they knew I had successfully lost 98 pounds while still eating before bedtime. <g>

    Joyce current weight: 130; total loss 98.8 lbs Lifetime: 4/4/03

    Janice Kennish said:

    Amber,

    I'm sorry you're going through this. I don't have friends or family who are like this and you
    shouldn't have to go through it. The worst thing I've had happen is a friend talking to me about
    eating things before bed and how maybe if I gave that up I'd lose weight better. As I explained to
    her I shouldn't have to give up what every skinny people do if I'm doing it within reason. Since
    then she hasn't said anything and has been supportive. Unfortunately I don't have any advice on how
    to handle this but would love to offer support for you to vent!!!!

    --
    Janice
    263/257/150 (maybe 130)

    "Amber" <[email hidden]> wrote in message "]news:[email hidden]...

    Quoted message said:

    I recently cut my hair. It used to be pretty long, and now it is above my collar. I was in class
    today when my friend wrote me a note saying that I should have the front pieces below my chin. I
    asked why? and she pointed to her chin. She's also a little over weight and has the same double
    chin problem as me. I understand she may have been trying to be helpful, but this really hurt.
    Like hair can cover that up anyways. I guess I feel a little more motivated to succeed at WW now
    because of that, but it still makes me feel like a fat, ugly, person. Shouldn't your friends
    accept you for who you are? My mom is also heavy and she's always saying stuff about how I don't
    need another cookie or this and that at get togethers, and trying to be helpful about how I
    should loose weight. I'm tired of people doing this. Friends and family shouldn't do this. Does
    anyone else have a similar experience? Feelings?

    Amber

  15. hee hee hee ! evil white devil woman! oh priceless.

    "Amberle3" <[email hidden]> wrote in message "]news:[email hidden]...

    Quoted message said:

    Hi Amber,

    The closest I've had recently was my fiance attempting to "help" by


    watching

    Quoted message said:

    over my shoulder and continually saying "should you eat that?", and that


    was

    Quoted message said:

    last year. When I started doing WW I didn't tell him at all for a few months, and then when I did
    I laid down the law and told him that if he uttered those words again I would slap him upside the
    head because it was NOT supportive. Now he's modified it to things like "do you have the


    points

    Quoted message said:

    for that", since he at least somewhat understands the concept of points.

    My fiance, BTW, is on the shorter size for a guy (about 5'8"😉 and wears a size Medium. His mother
    has been telling him for the last few years that he's getting fat. Yeesh. You can imagine what she
    thinks of me. Fortunately when she starts badmouthing me it's in another language 🙂


    The

    Quoted message said:

    only part I know is that part that translates to "evil white devil woman"! 😉 At least "fat" isn't
    in that phrase.

    Amberle3

    Amber said:

    I recently cut my hair. It used to be pretty long, and now it is above my collar. I was in class
    today when my friend wrote me a note saying that I should have the front pieces below my chin. I
    asked why? and she pointed to her chin. She's also a little over weight and has the same double
    chin problem as me. I understand she may have been trying to be helpful, but this really hurt.
    Like hair can cover that up anyways. I guess I feel a little more motivated to succeed at WW now
    because of that, but it still makes me feel like a fat, ugly, person. Shouldn't your friends
    accept you for who you are? My mom is also heavy and she's always saying stuff about how I don't
    need another cookie or this and that at get togethers, and trying to be helpful about how I
    should loose weight. I'm tired of people doing this. Friends and family shouldn't do this. Does
    anyone else have a similar experience? Feelings?

    Amber
    214/208/165

    --
    Amberle3
    249/224/220-minigoal/150? Renewed my commitment to me 3/30/03

    Happy Healthy Holidays Exercise Challenge: angelfire.comhhh.htm

    New Year, New You Weight Loss Challenge: angelfire.comnyny.htm

  16. Thank you all for your postivie support. You're right, it doesn't matter what she says!

    Amber

    Lesanne said:

    Heck yes your friends should accept you for who you are, but in the world that doesn't always come
    out that way. They would probably say they were just trying to be helpful because they love you.
    The Feelings are what is a problem here, if you call yourself names like "fat" and "ugly" because
    of what some person said, I don't think that will help you in the long run. I spent most of my
    life calling myself things like that. It did not help me lose the weight. You can choose to say to
    yourself "oh, she is just trying to be helpful, poor thing........." or "she maybe is a little
    envious because I am doing so well with WW" and pat yourself on the head for doing good things for
    your body. If you feel good, it can't hurt you 🙂🙂

    "Amber" <[email hidden]> wrote in message "]news:[email hidden]...

    Quoted message said:

    I recently cut my hair. It used to be pretty long, and now it is above my collar. I was in class
    today when my friend wrote me a note saying that I should have the front pieces below my chin. I
    asked why? and she pointed to her chin. She's also a little over weight and has the same double
    chin problem as me. I understand she may have been trying to be helpful, but this really hurt.
    Like hair can cover that up anyways. I guess I feel a little more motivated to succeed at WW now
    because of that, but it still makes me feel like a fat, ugly, person. Shouldn't your friends
    accept you for who you are? My mom is also heavy and she's always saying stuff about how I don't
    need another cookie or this and that at get togethers, and trying to be helpful about how I should
    loose weight. I'm tired of people doing this. Friends and family shouldn't do this. Does anyone
    else have a similar experience? Feelings?

    Amber
    214/208/165


  17. I think she said that because she is so self-concious about herself. Her husband puts her down a
    lot about her weight, even in front of me. She believes that in order to be attractive, or a good
    person you have to be thin. So I can dismiss the comment now that I think about it, but at the time
    it did hurt.

    Amber

    Erin Marsh said:
    Amber said:

    I recently cut my hair. It used to be pretty long, and now it is above my collar. I was in class
    today when my friend wrote me a note saying that I should have the front pieces below my chin. I
    asked why? and she pointed to her chin. She's also a little over weight and has the same double
    chin problem as me. I understand she may have been trying to be helpful, but this really hurt.
    Like hair can cover that up anyways. I guess I feel a little more motivated to succeed at WW now
    because of that, but it still makes me feel like a fat, ugly, person. Shouldn't your friends
    accept you for who you are? My mom is also heavy and she's always saying stuff about how I don't
    need another cookie or this and that at get togethers, and trying to be helpful about how I should
    loose weight. I'm tired of people doing this. Friends and family shouldn't do this. Does anyone
    else have a similar experience? Feelings?

    I'm sorry Amber, that wasn't very nice of your friend. Is she maybe feeling a little threatened by
    your weight loss? People do and say funny things when they see someone achieving something they
    know they should be doing.

    No-one has ever said anything really nasty to me, but after I'd lost about 30 pounds, my sister
    very kindly told me that she was thrilled I was losing weight, because the last time she'd seen me
    I had an [censored] like the rear end of a truck. I was happy she'd kept that comment to herself until
    after I'd been doing well with the weight loss. She recently apologised for saying it though.

    Hang in there Amber, soon enough you'll have people showering you with compliments.

  18. Thanks!

    Brenda Hammond said:

    What's important is how you feel about your hair cut and I'm sure you are happy with it or you
    wouldn't have had it done. I bet it looks great!!!

    "Amber" <[email hidden]> wrote in message "]news:[email hidden]...

    Quoted message said:

    I recently cut my hair. It used to be pretty long, and now it is above my collar. I was in class
    today when my friend wrote me a note saying that I should have the front pieces below my chin. I
    asked why? and she pointed to her chin. She's also a little over weight and has the same double
    chin problem as me. I understand she may have been trying to be helpful, but this really hurt.
    Like hair can cover that up anyways. I guess I feel a little more motivated to succeed at WW now
    because of that, but it still makes me feel like a fat, ugly, person. Shouldn't your friends
    accept you for who you are? My mom is also heavy and she's always saying stuff about how I don't
    need another cookie or this and that at get togethers, and trying to be helpful about how I should
    loose weight. I'm tired of people doing this. Friends and family shouldn't do this. Does anyone
    else have a similar experience? Feelings?

    Amber
    214/208/165


  19. I've had several people tell me eating before bedtime causes you to "retain" weight! I just ignore
    them--I'm losing doing what I'm doing so I'm going to continue until it no longer works!!!

    --
    Janice
    263/257/150 (maybe 130)

    "Joyce" <[email hidden]> wrote in message "]news:[email hidden]...

    Quoted message said:

    Ya know, I love some of the ignorant comments that come out of peoples


    mouths. <g>

    Quoted message said:

    Calories are calories, regardless as to the time of day you eat them. The


    body

    Quoted message said:

    only needs a certain amount of calories to run efficiently ... eat more


    than that

    Quoted message said:

    amount and the end result is obvious. BUT those calories can be consumed


    early in

    Quoted message said:

    the day with the same results. I wonder what your friend would say if


    they knew I

    Quoted message said:

    had successfully lost 98 pounds while still eating before bedtime. <g>

    Joyce current weight: 130; total loss 98.8 lbs Lifetime: 4/4/03

    On Fri, 21 Nov 2003 04:53:16 GMT, "Janice Kennish" <[email hidden]>


    Quoted message said:


    Quoted message said:

    Amber,

    I'm sorry you're going through this. I don't have friends or family who


    are

    Quoted message said:
    Quoted message said:

    like this and you shouldn't have to go through it. The worst thing I've


    had

    Quoted message said:
    Quoted message said:

    happen is a friend talking to me about eating things before bed and how maybe if I gave that up
    I'd lose weight better. As I explained to her I shouldn't have to give up what every skinny
    people do if I'm doing it


    within

    Quoted message said:
    Quoted message said:

    reason. Since then she hasn't said anything and has been supportive. Unfortunately I don't have
    any advice on how to handle this but would


    love

    Quoted message said:
    Quoted message said:

    to offer support for you to vent!!!!

    --
    Janice
    263/257/150 (maybe 130)

    "Amber" <[email hidden]> wrote in message "]news:[email hidden]...

    Quoted message said:

    I recently cut my hair. It used to be pretty long, and now it is above my collar. I was in
    class today when my friend wrote me a note saying that I should have the front pieces below my
    chin. I asked why? and she pointed to her chin. She's also a little over weight and has the
    same double chin problem as me. I understand she may have been trying to be helpful, but this
    really hurt. Like hair can cover that up anyways. I guess I feel a little more motivated to
    succeed at WW now because of that, but it still makes me feel like a fat, ugly, person.
    Shouldn't your friends accept you for who you are? My mom is also heavy and she's always saying
    stuff about how I don't need another cookie or this and that at get togethers, and trying to be
    helpful about how I should


    loose

    Quoted message said:
    Quoted message said:
    Quoted message said:

    weight. I'm tired of people doing this. Friends and family shouldn't do this. Does anyone else
    have a similar experience? Feelings?

    Amber

  20. Joyce said:

    Ya know, I love some of the ignorant comments that come out of peoples mouths. <g> Calories are
    calories, regardless as to the time of day you eat them. The body only needs a certain amount of
    calories to run efficiently ... eat more than that amount and the end result is obvious. BUT those
    calories can be consumed early in the day with the same results. I wonder what your friend would
    say if they knew I had successfully lost 98 pounds while still eating before bedtime. <g>

    When I first joined the gym I'd lost about 50 pounds, all the while eating heaps of carbs and having
    after dinner snacks. The trainer that got assigned to me insisted on telling me that if I wanted to
    lose weight I couldn't eat any carbs after lunch time and that I couldn't eat after 7pm. Uh, yeah,
    whatever. Even so called professionals often don't really know what they're on about.

    --
    Erin in NZ
    125/88.5/75 kgs
    125.88/5.1/165 lbs

    NYNY goal 180.6lbs (82 kilos)

    "It is not the mountain we conquer, it is ourselves" Sir Edmund Hilary

Active in the last 60 minutes

Active in this thread

0 users · 0 guests ·0 bots ·0 total

No signed-in users are active right now.

No known search crawlers active right now.