Originally posted by jmcmillanut
But not seriously -- bad advice:
1) When riding in a pack, be sure to make quick moves when a gap opens. Other riders will admire your quick reflexes and cycling prowess with your quick jerky movements.
2) In the U.S.: vote Republican -- republicans love cycling and have typically done much to promote it, from local governments all the way to the White House.
3) Motor oil makes a great chain lube.
4) When cornering in a race, be sure to lock up your rear break. You'll might take out your competition. And besides, skid marks are cool.
4a) Do the same when cornering on your MTB, because soil erosion is cool.
5) To maintain control on a technical MTB descent, be sure to lock up your front break.
6) People will think you are cool if ride your MTB on a soaking-wet muddy trail; the mud on your bike will show everyone what a stud you are.
6a) And, people really appreciate rutted-out MTB trails because it makes the ride more challenging.
6b) And, soil erosion is cool.