firstly... quotin hipp from another thread...
"Tell me about it dude!!
I ran out of water about 10min into the Glenvale crit today. With an a&%
f&%&%(* c&%$ a*^&%( **&^ c^*( f(&^^%&( sandbagging scumbag (yeah you Freedom Machine [censored]!) obviously not a C-grader cranking the pace through the roof for the first 10min, caining the field, I actually
needed to drink.. badly!
I'm still fscking sweating, just sitting here! Cramping up and all that.
Not fun. Definately not a happy camper. Two races left before the end of
crit season. Next B-grader that steps down and then <shock horror>
wins.. is getting a pump through their spokes and a Shimano size 47 up
their [censored]. Did I mention I wasn't happy?
hippy
"a painful death to sandbaggers!"
i wa standing round near table WAITING FOR MY MONEY! (more on that later) when hippy rolled up to turn in his number with steam comin out of the ears, re above. mmmmm mad hippy!
Anyways, turn up noice and early, get bike out of car spot my cuzz's Melissa and Danny (and instruct Mel she must beat Hippy at any costs 😄 )
go sign in and guy at table says "Are you a genuine D-grader?"
"Yeeeah?". "You just look a little strong, that's all". Gee, thanks fella.
(mental note dont suck in gut at sign-in again 😄 )
Roll around with Hippy and he gives me some inside scoop on how Glenvale worx. Take my now drained 2nd bottle back to car with one full one left for race. Go to start. Get told about the first 10 minutes being a 'controlled start'. WTF? is this LeMans or summat?
Fine. get onto whell of biggest guy in pack (guy on a GT with incredibly long headtube extender thingy - bad back?). Roll around for 10 mins and then pace pix up but very cruisily still. Let the same 3-4 keep going to front and Im still on the big guy's wheel. go round, go round some more. 30 mins gone. BORING! I cant help myself and decide approaching the corner at the end of the straight to have some fun and mess with some heads (and my legs 🙄 ) take off down the Sp Rd straight and thru the 2nd corner and for about 100m down the back straight and sit up. I cant TT for [censored] so there is no way Im lasting for 15min out there! Sit up cos nobody came with me, look back and they are seemingly miles back. Why do I do that?
I musta been a Lama-chaseing dog in a previous life?
Over the last 10 minutes things start picking up a bit and the odd 1-2 try getting away but nothing all that serious. Oh well, another sprint finish. Suits me...
C grade have lapped us 3 times now (Yes, thawt same thing about the Freedom machine guys as i saw them take off at start with hippy leading chase). Older guy in our pack sys something to the 2-3 up the front to keep the pace up and work together. Nice ploy Im thinkin, i aint towin you home fella! 3 laps to go and we are still in cruisy mode. The occasional little up-in-pace out of corners but more to rearrange pack and get on wheels.
Come to me, sprint finish!
One lap to go and we have just been pased by Cgrade in back straight again. Cross line for last time and realise we are gonna overtake Cgrade again. This is gonna be messy. One guy takes off (GT-man) younger guy takes off after him and i suck his wheel nicely. I AM NOT GOING EARLY this time, grrrr. (see? that 'grrr' signifies how mean and serious i am 😄 ).
2nd last corner and we are still fighting thru Cgrade crowd who kindly go all over the place. Oh well, im near the front and GT man is about 100m ahead but Im guessin he aint lastin and young guy is kindly pulling closer.
Another guy passes on my right thru the 2nd last corner and i swap wheels as he is flying.
Enter last corner and Im expecting to get swamped by the crowd now. find a good wheel or stay with this one.
GTman is about 100m ahead and going along left edge of straight. hmmm.
maybe we cant get him after all?
My guy is going now but runs out of steam real fast. [censored]! Read the script...
'pull Dutchy to line and let him pass', see, right there?
Oh well, 1/4 of way down straight and I have to go or watch people go past me. Start stomping and go on the right see some other shape go on my left but i can tell Im pulling away from him quickly. Im gonna get 2nd! cool(ish). Hang on GTman is dieing, maybe, maybe...
cross the line perhaps 5-10m behind him and he cant pedal anymore.
Roll around, gasping... 2nd! Happy with that. That end sprint felt great
Top speed down straight was 58.6kph.
Roll around to end and find the GTman. we compare stories.
WTF???? Someone else up the road? went about 15min ago????
Why didnt someone say something? I never saw nuffin@%#!!!#!!!!
Faaaaaaarrrrrrrrkkkkkkkkkk. Another god damn 3rd@%@#$!!!!!!!!!!
Why didnt someone say something? Who is this mystery guy?
Yellow top, apparently... Has already left, apparently. Damn your eyes, evil yellow-jersey-wearing man. Damn everyone else's eyes for not mentioning "oh, by the way, look at that pretty yellow jersey UP THE ROAD AND PULING AWAY!".
Damn my stoooopid eyes for not paying attention!@#($&$@!!!!!!!!!!
F"shusha-frusha-zesha(muttley impersonation)zashafrats!"Dutch