Recommitting

It seems to me that what you really want is for people to say, "It's not
your fault! You just can't help yourself!" and that will make you feel
better. That's not support---that's delusion.

Pat in TX

Luna said:

Thanks for all the "support."

have you considered therapy?

<<
It seems to me that what you really want is for people to say, "It's not
your fault! You just can't help yourself!" >>

No. I don't see that in the posts at all.

In article said:

It seems to me that what you really want is for people to say, "It's not
your fault! You just can't help yourself!" and that will make you feel
better. That's not support---that's delusion.

Pat in TX

No, what I wanted was some encouragement for taking steps to get my life
back on track. And, perhaps some acknowledgement that there are mental and
emotional components that go into making life changes. Taking on both
smoking and losing weight at the same time caused me to feel overwhelmed.
Like, hey, ok, swim across this ocean carrying an SUV in each hand, and as
soon as you think you can see the other side we're gonna tie another car to
your feet. So, I dumped one of the SUV's. I said, ok, forget the weight,
let's just do the smoking for now. But that made the car on my feet, the
depression, even heavier, to the point where I couldn't keep swimming. I
kept up the facade as long as I could, believing that attitude is key, as
long as I keep telling myself "You can do it!" then maybe I could. But it
felt like a lie, because it was a lie. I was just treading water. So, I
decided to try to do it another way, and everyone here is telling me to try
it the same way over again, which makes no sense. I guess my priorities are
different from what people think they should be. Weight loss and quitting
smoking are both important, but neither one is nearly as important as not
being depressed. Yes, I would rather die early from lung cancer or
emphysema than live to 90 feeling like I'd rather be dead. I do not have
the emotional energy and strength to quit smoking right now. Some of you
on here apparently think you don't need any strength to quit smoking, that
it's not an emotional issue. Whatever, you're wrong. So, am I saying I'm
giving up on quitting smoking? Hell. [censored]. No. What I'm saying is
that I need to get my emotional state in order first, get out of this
abyss, get my positive energy back, however you want to phrase it. And the
one thing that has been proven to do that for me is losing weight. It's
not an end in and of itself, it's a tool to make myself feel stronger, more
capable, more optimistic. It sets off a chain reaction. I go work out, I
feel an exercise high, and I don't feel like smoking for hours afterwards.
I go down a size, I buy new clothes, and I don't want to stink them up with
cigarette smoke. When I'm losing weight, I don't feel as depressed. When
I'm not as depressed, I don't want to smoke as much.

--
Michelle Levin
http://www.mindspring.com/~lunachick

I have only 3 flaws. My first flaw is thinking that I only have 3 flaws.

In article <[email hidden]>,

(The Queen of Cans and Jars) said:

Luna said:

Thanks for all the "support."

have you considered therapy?

How many times on this group do I have to say I've already tried it and it
didn't help?

--
Michelle Levin
http://www.mindspring.com/~lunachick

I have only 3 flaws. My first flaw is thinking that I only have 3 flaws.

x-no-archive: yes

Quoted message said:

How many times on this group do I have to say I've already tried it and it
didn't help?

--
Michelle Levin

Probably as many times as you make it clear that you may need it.

Is it possible that there's a type of therapy, or another therapist who might
work better for you? You haven't tried them all yet, have you? You often post
to this group as if it *is* your therapy, so I think it's clear that it's
something you're seeking, just not in the most helpful way.

I agree that you have to keep your depression treated and in check at all
costs. That's a wise goal, and the topic of another newsgroup, not this one.

Susan

Luna said:

(The Queen of Cans and Jars) said:

Luna said:

Thanks for all the "support."

have you considered therapy?

How many times on this group do I have to say I've already tried it and it
didn't help?

so, if you do something wrong the first time you automatically think
it's worthless?

is that the way it works?

"Pat" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

It seems to me that what you really want is for people to say, "It's not
your fault! You just can't help yourself!" and that will make you feel
better. That's not support---that's delusion.

Pat in TX

I agree.

"Luna" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

In article <[email hidden]>,

(The Queen of Cans and Jars) said:

Luna said:

Thanks for all the "support."

have you considered therapy?

How many times on this group do I have to say I've already tried it and it
didn't help?

--
Michelle Levin
http://www.mindspring.com/~lunachick

I have only 3 flaws. My first flaw is thinking that I only have 3 flaws.

I'm curious about something...how old are you?

In article <[email hidden]>,

(The Queen of Cans and Jars) said:

Luna said:

(The Queen of Cans and Jars) said:

Luna <[email hidden]> wrote:

> Thanks for all the "support."

have you considered therapy?

How many times on this group do I have to say I've already tried it and it
didn't help?

so, if you do something wrong the first time you automatically think
it's worthless?

is that the way it works?

You think it's better to try the same thing over and over when it's been
shown not to work?

--
Michelle Levin
http://www.mindspring.com/~lunachick

I have only 3 flaws. My first flaw is thinking that I only have 3 flaws.

In article <[email hidden]>,

(Susan ) said:

x-no-archive: yes

Quoted message said:

How many times on this group do I have to say I've already tried it and it
didn't help?

--
Michelle Levin

Probably as many times as you make it clear that you may need it.

Is it possible that there's a type of therapy, or another therapist who might
work better for you? You haven't tried them all yet, have you?

I keep eating nothing but tons of chocolate ice cream every day, and yet I
still can't lose weight! I know! I'll try vanilla instead!! That will fix
it!!!

--
Michelle Levin
http://www.mindspring.com/~lunachick

I have only 3 flaws. My first flaw is thinking that I only have 3 flaws.

:: > Probably as many times as you make it clear that you may need it.
: >
: > Is it possible that there's a type of therapy, or another therapist who
might
: > work better for you? You haven't tried them all yet, have you?

: I keep eating nothing but tons of chocolate ice cream every day, and yet I
: still can't lose weight! I know! I'll try vanilla instead!! That will
fix
: it!!!

: Michelle Levin

That's assuming that every therapist is exactly the same as the previous
one. Who knows? You just might not have found one who can make a connection
with you. I have heard other psychologists say that people have to keep
looking until they find just the right therapist. Like getting a second
opinion before surgery...maybe we get the second opinion because we don't
fully trust the first doctor.

One thing that comes across is that you're in a terribly negative state. It
just might be that you'll need help to turn things around.

Pat in TX
..

In article said:

:: > Probably as many times as you make it clear that you may need it.
: >
: > Is it possible that there's a type of therapy, or another therapist who
might
: > work better for you? You haven't tried them all yet, have you?

: I keep eating nothing but tons of chocolate ice cream every day, and yet I
: still can't lose weight! I know! I'll try vanilla instead!! That will
fix
: it!!!

: Michelle Levin

That's assuming that every therapist is exactly the same as the previous
one. Who knows? You just might not have found one who can make a connection
with you. I have heard other psychologists say that people have to keep
looking until they find just the right therapist. Like getting a second
opinion before surgery...maybe we get the second opinion because we don't
fully trust the first doctor.

One thing that comes across is that you're in a terribly negative state. It
just might be that you'll need help to turn things around.

Pat in TX
.

I think in a hundred years or so, people will look back on current therapy
and view it pretty much how we view exorcisms. A bunch of unscientific
mumbo-jumbo that only works because people believe it will work.

--
Michelle Levin
http://www.mindspring.com/~lunachick

I have only 3 flaws. My first flaw is thinking that I only have 3 flaws.

LOL, now that's funny. :-)

--
Cheri

Luna wrote in message ...

Quoted message said:

I keep eating nothing but tons of chocolate ice cream every day, and

yet I

Quoted message said:

still can't lose weight! I know! I'll try vanilla instead!! That will

fix

Quoted message said:

it!!!

--
Michelle Levin
http://www.mindspring.com/~lunachick

I have only 3 flaws. My first flaw is thinking that I only have 3

flaws.

Therapy is all about opinion. No facts whatsoever, and mumbo jumbo
describes it very well. I agree with you that it only works if you think
it works, so it would be a good thing for those that need it, cause it
damned sure won't work for people who prefer to do their own thinking,
which is probably why the majority of people don't see therapists. :-)

--
Cheri

Luna wrote in message ...

Quoted message said:

I think in a hundred years or so, people will look back on current

therapy

Quoted message said:

and view it pretty much how we view exorcisms. A bunch of unscientific
mumbo-jumbo that only works because people believe it will work.

--
Michelle Levin
http://www.mindspring.com/~lunachick

I have only 3 flaws. My first flaw is thinking that I only have 3

flaws.

: > Bottom line. Smoking is much more likely to kill you than being
: > slightly overweight. Do you want to live or do you want to look
good?
:
: Both. :o) I want to quit smoking. I don't feel ready yet. It
takes tools
: that I don't have in my arsenal right now. I don't have resolve,
: commitment, willpower, mental strength, emotional strength, or
optimism
:

luna,
you would do yourself a lot more good, if you told yourself the
truth......................you don't really want to quit smoking.
it is a tremendous addiction, and you will come up with many, many
excuses before you finally surrender to the fact that you are an
addict and DON'T REALLY WANT TO QUIT!

i know....................... been there, done that!

hang in there, do what you want to do, but please STOP lying to
yourself.

No luna, lie to the therapist instead. LOL

--
Cheri

rosie readandpost wrote in message ...

Quoted message said:

luna,
you would do yourself a lot more good, if you told yourself the
truth......................you don't really want to quit smoking.
it is a tremendous addiction, and you will come up with many, many
excuses before you finally surrender to the fact that you are an
addict and DON'T REALLY WANT TO QUIT!

i know....................... been there, done that!

hang in there, do what you want to do, but please STOP lying to
yourself.

:........................ But, no, that isn't
: good enough for you people. I need to quit smoking right NOW,
right this
: second, whether I feel ready to or not, plus I need to work out
two hours a
: day and eat as little as possible and lose at least 2 pounds a
week, or 5
: pounds a month or whatever the "standard" is in the challenges,
and get a
: new job and move out, and go snag myself a husband and have some
kids so
: you can tell me how to raise them, and if I don't do it ALL
according to
: you all's time schedule then you're gonna jump all over me.
Thanks for all
: the "support."
:
:

now, that is some real JUNKIE THINKING!
or as we say over in AS3 a real rant!

i went back to smoking after one year, and it took ten more years
for me to STOP lying to myself, and quit again.
i now have emphysema.

--
SUPPORT OUR TROOPS, BRING THEM HOME!
http://www.ac.wwu.edu/~stephan/USfatalities.html

"Pat" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...
:
:
: : Do what you feel you are ready to do when you feel you're ready
to do it.
: It's
: : the only way you'll succeed.
: :
: : When you're ready to quit smoking, you will.
:
: Or, you'll just keep putting it off and putting it off because
"it's hard!".
: It's a chemical addiction: of course, it's hard to break! By
saying you'll
: do it later, you are saying "I'm not really convinced there is any
danger
: there."
:
: Pat in TX
:
:

: You think it's better to try the same thing over and over when
it's been
: shown not to work?
:
: --
: Michelle Levin
:

no, the definition of INSANITY is doing the same thing over and over
and expecting different results.
why not change pdocs and get some help?