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Prat Warning

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UK and Europe
Published
5 June 2004
Last activity
10 June 2004
Original author
Morton Burner
Posts
78
Discussion status
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  1. Now the lighter nights are here, we no longer have the luxury of
    "Prat-Warning Lights" (i,e. always-on fog-lights) to alert us to the
    approaching Prat.
    Fortunately, this year, someone has introduced a quantitative Prat-Warning
    system, involving flags of St. George. One flag signifies mild Prattism,
    say, 25% Prat; 2 flags leaps the prat factor to 75%. You never see three.
    Four plus indicates Prat factor 13.7, or 100% plus.
    It's nice of them to wear their Prat indicator so prominently.

    --
    Morton Burner

    Alternative Bunsen

  2. "Morton Burner" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
    news:[email hidden]...

    Quoted message said:

    Now the lighter nights are here, we no longer have the luxury of
    "Prat-Warning Lights" (i,e. always-on fog-lights) to alert us to the
    approaching Prat.
    Fortunately, this year, someone has introduced a quantitative Prat-Warning
    system, involving flags of St. George. One flag signifies mild Prattism,
    say, 25% Prat; 2 flags leaps the prat factor to 75%. You never see three.
    Four plus indicates Prat factor 13.7, or 100% plus.
    It's nice of them to wear their Prat indicator so prominently.

    --
    Morton Burner

    Alternative Bunsen


    Lol....indeed!!...I had been wondering wtf that was all about...thanks for
    explaining. Guess I should read the latest H/C ;-)
    Dave.

  3. "Morton Burner" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
    news:[email hidden]...

    Quoted message said:

    Now the lighter nights are here, we no longer have the luxury of
    "Prat-Warning Lights" (i,e. always-on fog-lights) to alert us to the
    approaching Prat.
    Fortunately, this year, someone has introduced a quantitative Prat-Warning
    system, involving flags of St. George. One flag signifies mild Prattism,
    say, 25% Prat; 2 flags leaps the prat factor to 75%. You never see three.
    Four plus indicates Prat factor 13.7, or 100% plus.
    It's nice of them to wear their Prat indicator so prominently.

    FOMCL :-)

    (Fell Off Me Chair Laughing)
    --
    Regards,
    Pete

  4. I took the liberty of passing your message to my friends in the shed for
    their opinions

    The message <[email hidden]>
    from Helen Deborah Vecht <[email hidden]> contains these words:

    Quoted message said:
    Quoted message said:

    Fortunately, this year, someone has introduced a quantitative Prat-Warning
    system, involving flags of St. George. One flag signifies mild Prattism,
    say, 25% Prat; 2 flags leaps the prat factor to 75%. You never see three.
    Four plus indicates Prat factor 13.7, or 100% plus.

    Quoted message said:

    What do I get for a five? There's one near here with two on the front
    passenger's window and one each on the others.

    Can you help my friend?

    --
    Helen D. Vecht: [email hidden]
    Edgware.

  5. Helen Deborah Vecht said:

    I took the liberty of passing your message to my friends in the shed for
    their opinions

    The message <[email hidden]>
    from Helen Deborah Vecht <[email hidden]> contains these words:

    Quoted message said:
    Quoted message said:

    Fortunately, this year, someone has introduced a quantitative Prat-Warning
    system, involving flags of St. George. One flag signifies mild Prattism,
    say, 25% Prat; 2 flags leaps the prat factor to 75%. You never see three.
    Four plus indicates Prat factor 13.7, or 100% plus.

    Quoted message said:

    What do I get for a five? There's one near here with two on the front
    passenger's window and one each on the others.

    Can you help my friend?

    Mobile Armageddon.
    --

    Cheers,

    Al

  6. LOL.........there is a white transit (suppose it would be!) down my wa
    that has at least a dozen flags of various shapes and sizes, so wha
    does that make him!...

    -

  7. Mattboy said:

    LOL.........there is a white transit (suppose it would be!) down my way
    that has at least a dozen flags of various shapes and sizes, so what
    does that make him!....

    --

    if he's a real WVM a dozen flags is probably not enough! :-)

    Terry D

  8. In news:[email hidden],
    Mattboy <[email hidden]> sed

    Quoted message said:

    LOL.........there is a white transit (suppose it would be!) down my
    way that has at least a dozen flags of various shapes and sizes, so
    what does that make him!....

    A white van driver.
    QED
    --
    Morton Burner

    Alternative Bunsen

  9. Morton Burner said:

    Fortunately, this year, someone has introduced a quantitative Prat-Warning
    system, involving flags of St. George.

    So any thoughts of attaching them to the trike's flag pole not a good
    idea then. Oh well - I don't know where to buy them from anyway. The
    flag pole will need more decoration for the ride to York later this month.

    - Richard

    --
    _/_/_/ _/_/_/ _/_/_/ Richard dot Corfield at ntlworld dot com
    _/ _/ _/ _/
    _/_/ _/ _/ Time is a one way street,
    _/ _/ _/_/ _/_/_/ Except in the Twilight Zone.

  10. Morton Burner said:

    Fortunately, this year, someone has introduced a quantitative Prat-Warning
    system, involving flags of St. George. One flag signifies mild Prattism,
    say, 25% Prat; 2 flags leaps the prat factor to 75%. You never see three.
    Four plus indicates Prat factor 13.7, or 100% plus.

    Around here I don't seem to see many... the local yoof don't seem to
    have gone for Saltires instead as yet, but maybe not being in the fitba
    next week is a deciding factor there.

    I find that exhaust note and a quantity of tail surfaces that wouldn't
    look out of place on an F14 are a pretty reliable indication...

    Pete.
    --
    Peter Clinch Medical Physics IT Officer
    Tel 44 1382 660111 ext. 33637 Univ. of Dundee, Ninewells Hospital
    Fax 44 1382 640177 Dundee DD1 9SY Scotland UK
    net [email hidden] http://www.dundee.ac.uk/~pjclinch/

  11. "Morton Burner" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
    news:[email hidden]...

    Quoted message said:

    Now the lighter nights are here, we no longer have the luxury of
    "Prat-Warning Lights" (i,e. always-on fog-lights) to alert us to the
    approaching Prat.
    Fortunately, this year, someone has introduced a quantitative Prat-Warning
    system, involving flags of St. George. One flag signifies mild Prattism,
    say, 25% Prat; 2 flags leaps the prat factor to 75%. You never see three.
    Four plus indicates Prat factor 13.7, or 100% plus.
    It's nice of them to wear their Prat indicator so prominently.

    --
    Morton Burner

    Alternative Bunsen


    Had a lad go by us on the pavement on a motorised scooter with one on
    yesterday......we guessed he was a prat by the fact that he was riding a
    motorised scooter on the pavement, but the flag backed it up ;-)
    Dave.
    - disappointed to find my mother driving around with one :-(

  12. Morton Burner said:

    Now the lighter nights are here, we no longer have the luxury of
    "Prat-Warning Lights" (i,e. always-on fog-lights) to alert us to the
    approaching Prat.
    Fortunately, this year, someone has introduced a quantitative
    Prat-Warning system, involving flags of St. George. One flag
    signifies mild Prattism, say, 25% Prat; 2 flags leaps the prat factor
    to 75%. You never see three. Four plus indicates Prat factor 13.7, or
    100% plus.
    It's nice of them to wear their Prat indicator so prominently.

    William. The Prat I encountered on Saturday at the Bricklayers Arms
    roundabout on the Old Kent Road was off the Prat Scale. Two flags. 90% of
    rear window of Fiat Uno obscured by stickers shewing allegiance to Millwall
    Ball-footing Club. And, and, the registration number. D 1 MFC. This
    elevates the driver - and I was astonished to find that it was a woman[1] -
    beyond the realms of Mere Mortal Prattery and into some parallel
    Prat-Universe.

    I have not the words.

    1 - astonishment subsequently decreased after witnessing a different Mrs.
    Prat asking the cashier in my local Sainsbury's whether they sold
    Prat-Flags. Mercifully, they did not.

    --

    Dave Larrington - http://www.legslarry.beerdrinkers.co.uk/
    ===========================================================
    Editor - British Human Power Club Newsletter
    http://www.bhpc.org.uk/
    ===========================================================

  13. Helen Deborah Vecht said:
    Quoted message said:

    What do I get for a five? There's one near here with two on the front
    passenger's window and one each on the others.

    Can you help my friend?

    The Prat who owns this motorcar must be killed immediately. Stab him in the
    throat with a fork and leave the bleeding, twitching semi-corpse in a nice
    damp ditch.

    --

    Dave Larrington - http://www.legslarry.beerdrinkers.co.uk/
    ===========================================================
    Editor - British Human Power Club Newsletter
    http://www.bhpc.org.uk/
    ===========================================================

  14. On 7/6/04 10:13 am, in article [email hidden], "Dave

    Larrington said:

    The Prat who owns this motorcar must be killed immediately. Stab him in the
    throat with a fork and leave the bleeding, twitching semi-corpse in a nice
    damp ditch.

    How do you burn the body then?

    ...d

    (revelling in the sure knowledge that any prat signs here will result in the
    offenders vehicle being dismantled by the 'Popular Peoples Front for The
    [censored] at Not Being in EURO 2004', unless of course the flags are on a
    vogts wagen, or french).

  15. David Martin said:

    How do you burn the body then?

    You don't. You don't shoot them either. These cases need to have the body
    lying around for a long time, preferably being slowly eaten by Wildlife.
    Pour encourager les autres.

    --

    Dave Larrington - http://www.legslarry.beerdrinkers.co.uk/
    ===========================================================
    Editor - British Human Power Club Newsletter
    http://www.bhpc.org.uk/
    ===========================================================

  16. On Mon, 7 Jun 2004 11:14:35 +0100 someone who may be "Dave
    Larrington" <[email hidden]> wrote this:-

    Quoted message said:

    These cases need to have the body
    lying around for a long time, preferably being slowly eaten by Wildlife.
    Pour encourager les autres.

    Then the body needs to be suspended above the ground, rather than
    lying in a damp ditch.

    --
    David Hansen, Edinburgh | PGP email preferred-key number F566DA0E
    I will always explain revoked keys, unless the UK government
    prevents me using the RIP Act 2000.

  17. "\(t'other\) Dave" <[email hidden]> wrote in news:q1Wwc.29978$B63.18350
    @doctor.cableinet.net:

    Quoted message said:

    - disappointed to find my mother driving around with one :-(

    It's genetic you know - start worrying ;-)

    Graeme

  18. in message <[email hidden]>, Peter Clinch

    (') said:

    Around here I don't seem to see many... the local yoof don't seem to
    have gone for Saltires instead as yet, but maybe not being in the
    fitba next week is a deciding factor there.

    I find that exhaust note and a quantity of tail surfaces that wouldn't
    look out of place on an F14 are a pretty reliable indication...

    And the blue lights under the car to illuminate the road surface. _Most_
    necessary.

    --
    [email hidden] (Simon Brooke) http://www.jasmine.org.uk/~simon/
    Windows 95:
    You, you, you! You make a grown man cry...
    M. Jagger/K. Richards

  19. David Hansen said:

    Then the body needs to be suspended above the ground, rather than
    lying in a damp ditch.

    You are probably right. Very well, once they have /actually/ died in the
    ditch, the bodies can be hauled out and suspended from the gibbet.
    Optionally, the heads may be removed and placed on pikes atop the gates of
    the city.

    Or we could just shoot them, and burn the bodies.

    On live television.

    --

    Dave Larrington - http://www.legslarry.beerdrinkers.co.uk/
    ===========================================================
    Editor - British Human Power Club Newsletter
    http://www.bhpc.org.uk/
    ===========================================================

  20. Simon Brooke said:

    And the blue lights under the car to illuminate the road surface.
    _Most_ necessary.

    AND the LED's on the windscreen washer jets.

    Gagh!

    --

    Dave Larrington - http://www.legslarry.beerdrinkers.co.uk/
    ===========================================================
    Editor - British Human Power Club Newsletter
    http://www.bhpc.org.uk/
    ===========================================================

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