I was about to grace the bike racing world with my super alternative, hairy-leg, puzzling presence
for the first time in 15 days. Having waited an hour for the 1-4s to race, I collected with the
other non-governing body dudes at the start line, only to be informed:
A. 1.3.014 The saddle support shall be horizontal. The length of the saddle shall be 24 cm minimum
and 27.5 cm maximum, but we'll let it slide this time.
B. 1O10. A licensee may be penalized for causing a crash or spill through inadequate tightening or
adjustment of a bicycle component, including gluing of tires [disqualification and 10 days
suspension], and we'll NOT let it slide this time.
Rule A strikes me as the more stupid one. There's no sensible rationale that I can think of. My
saddle is a regular old Sella drilled/sawed out and beautified with black duct-tape. So I got a
little carried away when the shape started to resemble my favorite fairing on the WISIL Missile
lowracer (full suspension). This fascist control of all aspects of cycling by the UCI is why you
don't see fully faired recumbents being used to run errands in Peking.
Rule B is the more annoying one, though I can barely accept the presumed reasoning. A guy was
showing us his superkevlar clincher wheel before the race, handing it around, folks oooing and
ahhhing and I popped off my 20-yr-old ergal sewup wheel with cx sewup for comparison. Some
federation geek says, "Looks like 20-yr-old glue too!". I says, "Half a tube per wheel! And they
don't make it like they used to! This is Tubasti!" No go.
I avenged myself by doing 43-44 mph on the 15 mile ride home. Those lusers gained a reprieve, but I
will be back!
Jeff Poptart (imitating pooter parodying potter)