Another conquest for Lance?

No_Positives said:

Lance may have more women than yellow jerseys at this point. Imagine if he had two nuts!

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Cool! She's 21, he's 36. I wonder what they talk about? MTV, The Smerfs?

Here's a sample of their most recent conversation.

Lance: Hi, I'm Lance Armstrong.
Olson: Hi, are you that Lance Armstrong guy who won that Tour de Whatever thingy? I remember when you won the first time because that's when I graduated from fourth grade.
Lance: Yes. I'm Lance Armstrong.
Olson: I just got out the the clinic for an eating disorder and for prescription drug addiction. It wasn't way cool but my mom said if I did it she'd pay for my plastic surgery. Do my eyes still look puffy? How about my lips? Cheeks? [censored]? I can't feel my nipples but that happened the last time too.
Lance: Your eyes look puffy but that's probably from all the meth we've been smoking. Let me feel your [censored]. They feel like sand filled socks. Nice. So natural, I think. I wouldn't know since I've never touched a real pair. Well, it's been so long. Does my mom count? So, you wana [censored] or something?
Olson: Sure, but can we watch cartoons while we're doing it.
Lance: Sure. Let's get it on.

LOL, 😄 😄 😄

helmutRoole2 said:

Cool! She's 21, he's 36. I wonder what they talk about? MTV, The Smerfs?

Here's a sample of their most recent conversation.

Lance: Hi, I'm Lance Armstrong.
Olson: Hi, are you that Lance Armstrong guy who won that Tour de Whatever thingy? I remember when you won the first time because that's when I graduated from fourth grade.
Lance: Yes. I'm Lance Armstrong.
Olson: I just got out the the clinic for an eating disorder and for prescription drug addiction. It wasn't way cool but my mom said if I did it she'd pay for my plastic surgery. Do my eyes still look puffy? How about my lips? Cheeks? [censored]? I can't feel my nipples but that happened the last time too.
Lance: Your eyes look puffy but that's probably from all the meth we've been smoking. Let me feel your [censored]. They feel like sand filled socks. Nice. So natural, I think. I wouldn't know since I've never touched a real pair. Well, it's been so long. Does my mom count? So, you wana [censored] or something?
Olson: Sure, but can we watch cartoons while we're doing it.
Lance: Sure. Let's get it on.

You are sick!
I know this because I am.
Funny stuff.

No_Positives dissing your messiah like that???? Are you coming around from the dark side or something?

In all seriousness, it has been peaceful around here since you quit posting.

Could he date both twins with just one ball?

thoughtforfood said:

No_Positives dissing your messiah like that???? Are you coming around from the dark side or something?

In all seriousness, it has been peaceful around here since you quit posting.

Could he date both twins with just one ball?

I think No Positives is Hombre.

Hombre/Bobke posted a thread on Dailypeloton saying "Who is Lance Dating?"

I did not read it. Check the idiom though, but he has cross posted before, just never tabloid gossip pages like this.

New Low Hombre.

helmutRoole2 said:

Cool! She's 21, he's 36. I wonder what they talk about? MTV, The Smerfs?

Here's a sample of their most recent conversation.

Lance: Hi, I'm Lance Armstrong.
Olson: Hi, are you that Lance Armstrong guy who won that Tour de Whatever thingy? I remember when you won the first time because that's when I graduated from fourth grade.
Lance: Yes. I'm Lance Armstrong.
Olson: I just got out the the clinic for an eating disorder and for prescription drug addiction. It wasn't way cool but my mom said if I did it she'd pay for my plastic surgery. Do my eyes still look puffy? How about my lips? Cheeks? [censored]? I can't feel my nipples but that happened the last time too.
Lance: Your eyes look puffy but that's probably from all the meth we've been smoking. Let me feel your [censored]. They feel like sand filled socks. Nice. So natural, I think. I wouldn't know since I've never touched a real pair. Well, it's been so long. Does my mom count? So, you wana [censored] or something?
Olson: Sure, but can we watch cartoons while we're doing it.
Lance: Sure. Let's get it on.

Brilliant. I can always count on Helmut for a good laugh at Armstrong's expense.

helmutRoole2 said:

Cool! She's 21, he's 36. I wonder what they talk about? MTV, The Smerfs?

Here's a sample of their most recent conversation.

Lance: Hi, I'm Lance Armstrong.
Olson: Hi, are you that Lance Armstrong guy who won that Tour de Whatever thingy? I remember when you won the first time because that's when I graduated from fourth grade.
Lance: Yes. I'm Lance Armstrong.
Olson: I just got out the the clinic for an eating disorder and for prescription drug addiction. It wasn't way cool but my mom said if I did it she'd pay for my plastic surgery. Do my eyes still look puffy? How about my lips? Cheeks? [censored]? I can't feel my nipples but that happened the last time too.
Lance: Your eyes look puffy but that's probably from all the meth we've been smoking. Let me feel your [censored]. They feel like sand filled socks. Nice. So natural, I think. I wouldn't know since I've never touched a real pair. Well, it's been so long. Does my mom count? So, you wana [censored] or something?
Olson: Sure, but can we watch cartoons while we're doing it.
Lance: Sure. Let's get it on.

Helmy, I can't tell whether you are dissing Lance or lauding him here. But it is funny as heck. We need more of this from you. Don't wait till 2008 to bait. Bring on the power Scotty!

Crankyfeet said:

Helmy, I can't tell whether you are dissing Lance or lauding him here. But it is funny as heck. We need more of this from you. Don't wait till 2008 to bait. Bring on the power Scotty!

Cranky, did you ever get that package I sent?

helmutRoole2 said:

Cool! She's 21, he's 36. I wonder what they talk about? MTV, The Smerfs?

Here's a sample of their most recent conversation.

Lance: Hi, I'm Lance Armstrong.
Olson: Hi, are you that Lance Armstrong guy who won that Tour de Whatever thingy? I remember when you won the first time because that's when I graduated from fourth grade.
Lance: Yes. I'm Lance Armstrong.
Olson: I just got out the the clinic for an eating disorder and for prescription drug addiction. It wasn't way cool but my mom said if I did it she'd pay for my plastic surgery. Do my eyes still look puffy? How about my lips? Cheeks? [censored]? I can't feel my nipples but that happened the last time too.
Lance: Your eyes look puffy but that's probably from all the meth we've been smoking. Let me feel your [censored]. They feel like sand filled socks. Nice. So natural, I think. I wouldn't know since I've never touched a real pair. Well, it's been so long. Does my mom count? So, you wana [censored] or something?
Olson: Sure, but can we watch cartoons while we're doing it.
Lance: Sure. Let's get it on.

Here is some perspective on this couple. A young Lance, an even younger Olsen twin.

No_Positives said:

Here is some perspective on this couple. A young Lance, an even younger Olsen twin.

Is that... oh god. It's smegma on the Lance Armstrong pic... and the Olsen pic as well. Nicely done, Mo.

He seems to have moved on from Oedipus to Paedopus. Strange man.

Gregers said:

He seems to have moved on from Oedipus to Paedopus. Strange man.

I'm getting the feeling Lance's retirement will prove to be embarrassing. Too much spare time and money.

well done lance im impressed, wouldnt we all like to be shagging a hot 21 year old girl?

phillop said:

well done lance im impressed, wouldnt we all like to be shagging a hot 21 year old girl?

Well, I might. But it certainly wouldn't be a chain smoking, self absorbed, anorexic.

oldbobcat said:

I'm getting the feeling Lance's retirement will prove to be embarrassing. Too much spare time and money.

No such thing, unless you are talking about the British Royal family, who are oxygen thieves and wastes of space.

Gregers said:

Well, I might. But it certainly wouldn't be a chain smoking, self absorbed, anorexic.

Why didn't he just stay on his bike, this is worse for cycling's image than doping:eek:

I've worked it out.

LA has discovered his [censored] looks bigger when its porking skinny coke hags.

Gregers said:

Well, I might. But it certainly wouldn't be a chain smoking, self absorbed, anorexic.

Hey, he matches two of the three. He might even start smoking...

I hope Dakota Fanning has a good guardian. :p