amiafattymasterornot.com

Well I won't be 35 for another couple of weeks and I only need to loose 10
pounds before I shave, so clearly you've got me beat on both fattie and
master...

Quoted message said:

This is meant as comic relief from the depressing dope threads. Please,
nobody get too worked up about this.

I am curious about my Fatty Master status. Please rate my status,
assigning points are necessary. Tips and pointers for methods, tactics
and other means of improving my score are appreciated.

Here are the facts:

36yo
Rode alot in the old days. Made it to Cat3. Stopped riding for 10
years. Got fat and weak. Started riding again. Not as fat, not as weak.

At 36 you are simply too young to have ridden in the 'old days'. You
don't even have any old days yet.

Quoted message said:

I commute to work on a road bike in full club lycra.

I tried that once, but it was a [censored] getting it over the dropouts.

Quoted message said:

I have never ever put a lock around any of my road bikes.

I had ugly bikes too.

Quoted message said:

I use 36 spoke wheels.

A real FM would have 40, but buy only titanium.

Quoted message said:

I assembled my bike myself.

I had a bike fall apart, too. Had some ball bearings left over at the
end.

Quoted message said:

At club races, if I get dropped, I'm never the only one.

At least they allow you to race.

Quoted message said:

I use Ultegra.

I misused whatever I had on a particular bike. The trick is, to be a
true MF, your equipment grade has to be one level above any possible
need, future or past.

Quoted message said:

I don't participate in sprints, cuz I'm a fogey, though sprints is
arguably what I am best at. If I worked at them, they would no doubt be
what I am best at.

Why do something that will embarrass you whether you manage it or not?
Better practice: showing disdain for any segment of bike racing you
suck at. I pretty much disdain the whole damn process.

Quoted message said:

When my performance isn't up to scratch, I don't blame my equipment or
preparation, I blame my competitors ignoring their families.

My equipment was better than me and I did no preparation, so I guess I
probably did the same. Seems the easy one, as long as you don't race
against a bunch of single orphans.

Quoted message said:

I don't shave. I keep telling myself I need to lose 15lbs more first.

I miss the causality on this one, but OK.

Quoted message said:

I just bought my 6 yo son a road bike.

I'll call family services. You'll get a call or visit.

Quoted message said:

Joseph

Curtis L. Russell
Odenton, MD (USA)
Just someone on two wheels...

joseph.santaniello said:

Here are the facts:

36yo
Rode alot in the old days. Made it to Cat3. Stopped riding for 10
years. Got fat and weak. Started riding again. Not as fat, not as weak.

I commute to work on a road bike in full club lycra.

I have never ever put a lock around any of my road bikes.

I use 36 spoke wheels.

I assembled my bike myself.

At club races, if I get dropped, I'm never the only one.

I use Ultegra.

I don't participate in sprints, cuz I'm a fogey, though sprints is
arguably what I am best at. If I worked at them, they would no doubt be
what I am best at.

When my performance isn't up to scratch, I don't blame my equipment or
preparation, I blame my competitors ignoring their families.

I don't shave. I keep telling myself I need to lose 15lbs more first.

I just bought my 6 yo son a road bike.

Dumbass,

As a fatty master you really suck. You need to get a BMC and full Phonak
kit to start...no hang on that might not work anymore. Get back to us in a
few weeks time and we'll tell you what bike and kit you need.

Quoted message said:

This is meant as comic relief from the depressing dope threads. Please,
nobody get too worked up about this.

I am curious about my Fatty Master status. Please rate my status,
assigning points are necessary. Tips and pointers for methods, tactics
and other means of improving my score are appreciated.

Here are the facts:

36yo
Rode alot in the old days. Made it to Cat3. Stopped riding for 10
years. Got fat and weak. Started riding again. Not as fat, not as weak.

I commute to work on a road bike in full club lycra.

I have never ever put a lock around any of my road bikes.

I use 36 spoke wheels.

Yes, 18 per wheel is the current Masters Fattie standard,
so you are in compliance.

Quoted message said:

I assembled my bike myself.

At club races, if I get dropped, I'm never the only one.

That you notice this and are counting qualifies you as a
true Masters Fattie. All else is style points.

Quoted message said:

I use Ultegra.

I don't participate in sprints, cuz I'm a fogey, though sprints is
arguably what I am best at. If I worked at them, they would no doubt be
what I am best at.

But if you don't work at them, then you will always have the
excuse that you could work at them and be best at them,
but you've got too much to lose because you are a fogey.
If you do work at them, you lose both the excuse and the
room for improvement.

My excuse is that I have the mentality of a climber in the body
of a sprinter. (For those of you whp don't speak Excuse, that
means I'm a big fat coward.)

Ben
P.S. We also need to hear more about your position on the
Donut Question.

Quoted message said:

When my performance isn't up to scratch, I don't blame my equipment or
preparation, I blame my competitors ignoring their families.

I don't shave. I keep telling myself I need to lose 15lbs more first.

I just bought my 6 yo son a road bike.

Joseph

Quoted message said:

I am curious about my Fatty Master status.

Quoted message said:

36yo

You are not a Master. You are a Baby Vet.
Have fun, youngster. --D-y

Curtis L. Russell said:

Quoted message said:

I commute to work on a road bike in full club lycra.

I tried that once, but it was a [censored] getting it over the dropouts.

When you have achieved MY level of largesse, you will be accustomed to
buying lycra of sufficient size to fit over a bulldozer.

Gaze in wonder, gaze in awe at the Master of the Fatty Masters. Coming
soon as a late night cartoon.

BTW, it's damn hard work leaving you guys openings like the one in that
last sentence. Or even that one. I certainly hope you appreciate it.

Tim Lines said:

When you have achieved MY level of largesse

You mean "largeass" right?

--
Bill Asher

William Asher said:

Tim Lines said:

When you have achieved MY level of largesse

You mean "largeass" right?

Yeah, but in french.

Tim Lines said:

William Asher said:

Tim Lines said:

When you have achieved MY level of largesse

You mean "largeass" right?

Yeah, but in french.

Wouldn't that be "grandesse" then? Either way, I think it sounds better in
german, "grosseheinie." Russian is good too, "ogromniebutt."

--
Bill Asher

Tim Lines said:

Curtis L. Russell said:

Quoted message said:

I commute to work on a road bike in full club lycra.

I tried that once, but it was a [censored] getting it over the dropouts.

When you have achieved MY level of largesse, you will be accustomed to
buying lycra of sufficient size to fit over a bulldozer.

Gaze in wonder, gaze in awe at the Master of the Fatty Masters. Coming
soon as a late night cartoon.

BTW, it's damn hard work leaving you guys openings like the one in that
last sentence. Or even that one. I certainly hope you appreciate it.

Gonna get O'Grady to draw it? That could be really good and the common
ground is there.
Bill C

Quoted message said:

This is meant as comic relief from the depressing dope threads. Please,
nobody get too worked up about this.

I am curious about my Fatty Master status. Please rate my status,
assigning points are necessary. Tips and pointers for methods, tactics
and other means of improving my score are appreciated.

Here are the facts:

36yo
Rode alot in the old days. Made it to Cat3. Stopped riding for 10
years. Got fat and weak. Started riding again. Not as fat, not as weak.

I commute to work on a road bike in full club lycra.

I have never ever put a lock around any of my road bikes.

I use 36 spoke wheels.

I assembled my bike myself.

At club races, if I get dropped, I'm never the only one.

I use Ultegra.

I don't participate in sprints, cuz I'm a fogey, though sprints is
arguably what I am best at. If I worked at them, they would no doubt be
what I am best at.

When my performance isn't up to scratch, I don't blame my equipment or
preparation, I blame my competitors ignoring their families.

Welcome my brother. You are truly a Master Fatties Master.

Ron

William Asher said:

Tim Lines said:

William Asher said:

Tim Lines wrote:

> When you have achieved MY level of largesse

You mean "largeass" right?

Yeah, but in french.

Wouldn't that be "grandesse" then?

Sorry, that's not Starbucks-compliant nomenclature. "Grande" has
been superseded by "Venti," so un cul grande (okay, un cul grand) is
no more Sitzfleisch than possessed by your average Norcal Cat 4,
and in both racing and fat-assedness a Cat 4 won't place in a Masters
competition.

Ben
Starbucks Compliance Task Force

Interestingly, most of the comments apply to me. My true fattie status
was confirmed today when I rode up the Montreal "hill" (it didn't
seem to be a hill the last time I was there and much fitter) with some
kid
on a supermarket mountain bike on my wheel who passed me then
dropped me in the last 200 meters. It also seems consistent with
my master fattie status, that despite being overweight and not fit,
it is very dificult for the typical fit amateur to drop me on the
flats.
I used to hate people like me...

-ilan

Quoted message said:

This is meant as comic relief from the depressing dope threads. Please,
nobody get too worked up about this.

I am curious about my Fatty Master status. Please rate my status,
assigning points are necessary. Tips and pointers for methods, tactics
and other means of improving my score are appreciated.

Here are the facts:

36yo
Rode alot in the old days. Made it to Cat3. Stopped riding for 10
years. Got fat and weak. Started riding again. Not as fat, not as weak.

I commute to work on a road bike in full club lycra.

I have never ever put a lock around any of my road bikes.

I use 36 spoke wheels.

I assembled my bike myself.

At club races, if I get dropped, I'm never the only one.

I use Ultegra.

I don't participate in sprints, cuz I'm a fogey, though sprints is
arguably what I am best at. If I worked at them, they would no doubt be
what I am best at.

When my performance isn't up to scratch, I don't blame my equipment or
preparation, I blame my competitors ignoring their families.

I don't shave. I keep telling myself I need to lose 15lbs more first.

I just bought my 6 yo son a road bike.

Joseph

dan said:

i've started trying to lose those 10 pounds but i have a feeling that i'll
have to lose more like 15 in order to get rid of that 'redistribution
thing'. i gave up ice cream. damn i love ice cream. maybe it's just not
worth it. dunno.

your post made me laugh 🙂 i feel like i have some of the same "issues"
but i'm only 37, not 60. (and trying hard not to think about the
future..) i try not to look at my butt in the mirror because else i
wonder how it is that i don't just have a fat ass, i have both a fat ass
and a lower ass. great...stupid redistribution! but i weigh just as
little as i ever did. it's no fair when losing weight won't solve my
problems anymore.

but i don't think you should have to give up ice cream (yikes!).
personally i would measure out my ice cream into quarter or third or
half cup portions, just to keep the volume down, but you can't let rbr
know about that or they'll think you're weird 🙂

heather

In article
<[email hidden]>,
h squared <[email hidden]>

Quoted message said:

dan said:

i've started trying to lose those 10 pounds but i have a feeling that i'll
have to lose more like 15 in order to get rid of that 'redistribution
thing'. i gave up ice cream. damn i love ice cream. maybe it's just not
worth it. dunno.

your post made me laugh 🙂 i feel like i have some of the same "issues"
but i'm only 37, not 60. (and trying hard not to think about the
future..) i try not to look at my butt in the mirror because else i
wonder how it is that i don't just have a fat ass, i have both a fat ass
and a lower ass. great...stupid redistribution! but i weigh just as
little as i ever did. it's no fair when losing weight won't solve my
problems anymore.

but i don't think you should have to give up ice cream (yikes!).
personally i would measure out my ice cream into quarter or third or
half cup portions, just to keep the volume down, but you can't let rbr
know about that or they'll think you're weird 🙂

I've done the experiment and no quantity of ice cream is
sufficient to satisfy me. A quarter cup would simply be
torture. I can eat ice cream until nausea sets in, but ice
cream does not satisfy me. Typically a finite amount of
food does satisfy me. I switched to the richest chocolate
and chocolate bon-bons, and they do satisfy me.

--
Michael Press

h squared said:

Quoted message said:

but i don't think you should have to give up ice cream (yikes!).
personally i would measure out my ice cream into quarter or third or
half cup portions, just to keep the volume down, but you can't let rbr
know about that or they'll think you're weird 🙂

Michael Press said:

I've done the experiment and no quantity of ice cream is
sufficient to satisfy me. A quarter cup would simply be
torture. I can eat ice cream until nausea sets in, but ice
cream does not satisfy me. Typically a finite amount of
food does satisfy me. I switched to the richest chocolate
and chocolate bon-bons, and they do satisfy me.

To heather chocolate is a currency to be measured in slabs. She's even set
up a chocolate currency market with exchange rates between Belgian
chocolate and Cadbury slabs.

h squared said:

your post made me laugh 🙂 i feel like i have some of the same "issues"
but i'm only 37, not 60. (and trying hard not to think about the
future..) i try not to look at my butt in the mirror because else i
wonder how it is that i don't just have a fat ass, i have both a fat ass
and a lower ass. great...stupid redistribution! but i weigh just as
little as i ever did. it's no fair when losing weight won't solve my
problems anymore.

So what *are* the qualifications for female masterfattiedom?

In article
<[email hidden]>,

yeahyeah said:

h squared said:

your post made me laugh 🙂 i feel like i have some of the same "issues"
but i'm only 37, not 60. (and trying hard not to think about the
future..) i try not to look at my butt in the mirror because else i
wonder how it is that i don't just have a fat ass, i have both a fat ass
and a lower ass. great...stupid redistribution! but i weigh just as
little as i ever did. it's no fair when losing weight won't solve my
problems anymore.

So what *are* the qualifications for female masterfattiedom?

Gytha Ogg.

--
Michael Press

yeahyeah said:

So what *are* the qualifications for female masterfattiedom?

Female masterfattieness is very rare. According to Larry Summers, it must be
biological and your brains are not wired as strongly for being competitive
with your peers. Not that male masters fatties are particularly strong in
that area either, at least compared to the normal population. In fact, a few
million years ago there wouldn't have been any male Masters Fatties because
they would have been all the losers that couldn't out run the saber-tooth
tigers. Or their cavemates would have clubbed them to death already for
incessantly talking about themselves and their grand exploits. Hmm... how
did the Masters Fattie gene survive??

Mark
evolution expert