Go Simon Go !!

Andrew said:

Go Simon go!

Ladies and gentlemen of uk.rec.cycling, I ask you to join us in willing
Simon Brooke to going sub 30 mins for a 10 mile time trial on Tuesday 9th
August
with your collective will power and our race tips, we are sure that this
long term member of uk.rec.cycling will do us all proud by beating the 30
minute barrier before a nasty birthday milestone in October

And what a post to say hi with! Hi Andrew.

Quoted message said:

We will be there on the day Simon

But not racing? If you really cared, you'd lead the boy out so he could
slipstream you! We wouldn't tell a soul. ;-)

Jon

"Andrew" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

Go Simon go!

Ladies and gentlemen of uk.rec.cycling, I ask you to join us in willing
Simon Brooke to going sub 30 mins for a 10 mile time trial on Tuesday 9th
August
with your collective will power and our race tips, we are sure that this
long term member of uk.rec.cycling will do us all proud by beating the 30
minute barrier before a nasty birthday milestone in October

Our top 10 race tips to Simon- ( and please feel free to add to these -
Simon take note)

1. Dont wave to other competitors as you pass them on the return leg

So that's not him gasping for breath and frantically waving to grab the
attention of the paramedic with the oxygen cylinder then???

Quoted message said:

2. Go anaerobic - when it starts to hurt - keep going

But do not try to do this by putting one's head in a plastic bag and
breathing in deeply.

Quoted message said:

3. Lose the handlebar bag

That's not a fairing??

Quoted message said:

4. Shave your legs (good for a few seconds)

Shaving his legs would probably take longer then a few seconds to do

Quoted message said:

5. Shave your head (good for a few minutes!)

If he's particularly hairy, it'll take longer than a few minutes to shave
his head too

Quoted message said:

6 Dont chat to people you pass

You mean he's not supposed to swear at people who encourage him along by
telling him to push the pedals a bit harder..

Quoted message said:

7. Slip stream people who pass you

Well that'll get him disqualified. You are friends of his??

Quoted message said:

8. Try using the big ring

<Frankie Howard mode>

Oo-err Missus!

</Frankie Howard mode>

Quoted message said:

9. Dehydration is the enemy - dont drink from your whisky collection the
night before

Not unless it's mixed in with a 7% isotonic solution.

Quoted message said:

10 wear a HELMET it _really does make you faster_

I'm going into the bunker now...

Cheers, helen s

Quoted message said:

We will be there on the day Simon

Andrew and Alison - Stewartry Wheelers

in message <[email hidden]>, Andrew

(') said:

Our top 10 race tips to Simon- ( and please feel free to add to these -
Simon take note)

2. Go anaerobic - when it starts to hurt - keep going

It hurts... it hurts... and that's just the hangover...

Quoted message said:

3. Lose the handlebar bag

Hush! That's my stealth aerodynamic aid!

Quoted message said:

6 Dont chat to people you pass

People /I/ pass? Where do I find one of those?

Quoted message said:

7. Slip stream people who pass you

Vaahh-whhhhooooshhhh... [fx: rapidly disappearing dot in the distance]
....not a lot of chance of that either...

Quoted message said:

8. Try using the big ring

Is that the one on your middle finger? What do you do with it?

Quoted message said:

9. Dehydration is the enemy - dont drink from your whisky collection
the night before

How can I? Someone's already drunk it...

Quoted message said:

10 wear a HELMET it _really does make you faster_

But with a hangover can you tell the difference - even if you /do/ fall
off (which isn't so unlikely, come to think of it)?

Quoted message said:

We will be there on the day Simon

Andrew and Alison - Stewartry Wheelers

Bar stewards! (or perhaps just 'Bah!'😉

--
[email hidden] (Simon Brooke) http://www.jasmine.org.uk/~simon/

;; Friends don't send friends HTML formatted emails.

in message <[email hidden]>, Jon Senior

jon_AT_restlesslemon_DOT_co_DOT_uk ('') said:

Andrew said:

Go Simon go!

Ladies and gentlemen of uk.rec.cycling, I ask you to join us in
willing Simon Brooke to going sub 30 mins for a 10 mile time trial on
Tuesday 9th August
with your collective will power and our race tips, we are sure that
this long term member of uk.rec.cycling will do us all proud by
beating the 30 minute barrier before a nasty birthday milestone in
October

And what a post to say hi with! Hi Andrew.

Quoted message said:

We will be there on the day Simon

But not racing? If you really cared, you'd lead the boy out so he could
slipstream you! We wouldn't tell a soul. ;-)

From last month's results on the same course:

1: Andrew Crooks [ 10 miles ] 23 mins 27 secs
....
7: Alison Crooks [ 10 miles ] 29 mins 42 secs
....
9: Simon Brooke [ 10 miles ] 30 mins 32 secs

.... so not a whole lot of chance of me slipstreaming Andrew (but that
Alison better watch out)

--
[email hidden] (Simon Brooke) http://www.jasmine.org.uk/~simon/

The trouble with Simon is that he only opens his mouth to change feet.
;; of me, by a 'friend'

"Simon Brooke" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...

2. Go anaerobic - when it starts to hurt - keep going

Quoted message said:

It hurts... it hurts... and that's just the hangover...

You wern't the only one with a hangover this morning after that marvelous
BBQ you hosted last night

Quoted message said:

9. Dehydration is the enemy - dont drink from your whisky collection

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

the night before

How can I? Someone's already drunk it...

Ahh yes sorry about that, the 25 year old malt was very nice though

Andrew

in message <[email hidden]>, Andrew

(') said:

"Simon Brooke" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...

2. Go anaerobic - when it starts to hurt - keep going

Quoted message said:

It hurts... it hurts... and that's just the hangover...

You wern't the only one with a hangover this morning after that
marvelous BBQ you hosted last night

Questions: did you get out on the fabled road ride in the morning, and
did anyone actually make it to Drumlanrig?

Yes, it was a good BBQ; J. and I have just feasted mightily on the
leftovers... we must do it again when everyone has had time to recover!

--
[email hidden] (Simon Brooke) http://www.jasmine.org.uk/~simon/
;; Let's have a moment of silence for all those Americans who are stuck
;; in traffic on their way to the gym to ride the stationary bicycle.
;; Rep. Earl Blumenauer (Dem, OR)

Andrew said:

Quoted message said:

How can I? Someone's already drunk it...

Ahh yes sorry about that, the 25 year old malt was very nice though

[fx: glares at Andrew].

Heh. I just homed in on the Laphroaig. Guess that might have been a
suboptimal strategy when c/o a Scot with an extensive collection:-|

How hilly are those miles?

--
Nick Kew

Andrew said:

Go Simon go!

:cheers:

And the excitement just builds

Under 24 hours to go, the weather is good for tomorrow- a slight breeze but
sunny and possibly warm
Make sure you eat plenty of pasta tonight
Drink enough water
Start stretching exercises in the morning
warm up on the rollers before hand

May pop out to the garage tonight and put tri bars on Alisons bike, just to
counter the deda carbon ones that have 'appeared' on yours

Positive thoughts, positive thoughts

in message <[email hidden]>, Andrew

(') said:

And the excitement just builds

Under 24 hours to go, the weather is good for tomorrow- a slight
breeze but sunny and possibly warm
Make sure you eat plenty of pasta tonight
Drink enough water
Start stretching exercises in the morning
warm up on the rollers before hand

May pop out to the garage tonight and put tri bars on Alisons bike,
just to counter the deda carbon ones that have 'appeared' on yours

Bah Steward! I know it's you who's nobbling me!

Simon, off to raid the pharmacy...

--
[email hidden] (Simon Brooke) http://www.jasmine.org.uk/~simon/

;; It appears that /dev/null is a conforming XSL processor.

Thirty minutes oh bloody six.

It's a bit sad, actually. There am I, the only person in a skinsuit, one
of only three people with tribars, on probably the best and certainly
the most expensive bike that turned out tonight, and I'm the only adult
who couldn't break thirty minutes[1]. OK, so I'm ten years older than
anyone except William. But William was riding a hybrid, and still turned
in 29:46. Andrew and Alison did a two-up with Andrew on his cross bike,
and they turned in 26:48.

But all of this doesn't matter. I wasn't really racing against them. I
was racing against that damned clock, and thirty bloody minutes. And I
missed it. Again. By six bloody seconds.

Damn!

[1] Apart from Alan, whose bottom bracket seized solid, and who
consequently finished running.

--
[email hidden] (Simon Brooke) http://www.jasmine.org.uk/~simon/

;; 'I think we should trust our president in every decision
;; that he makes and we should just support that'
;; Britney Spears of George W Bush, CNN 04:09:03

Simon Brooke <[email hidden]>typed

Quoted message said:

Thirty minutes oh bloody six.

Quoted message said:

It's a bit sad, actually. There am I, the only person in a skinsuit, one
of only three people with tribars, on probably the best and certainly
the most expensive bike that turned out tonight, and I'm the only adult
who couldn't break thirty minutes[1]. OK, so I'm ten years older than
anyone except William. But William was riding a hybrid, and still turned
in 29:46. Andrew and Alison did a two-up with Andrew on his cross bike,
and they turned in 26:48.

Quoted message said:

But all of this doesn't matter. I wasn't really racing against them. I
was racing against that damned clock, and thirty bloody minutes. And I
missed it. Again. By six bloody seconds.

Quoted message said:

Damn!

Quoted message said:

[1] Apart from Alan, whose bottom bracket seized solid, and who
consequently finished running.

Sympathies. I couldn't break 'evens' either. I didn't have a skinsuit,
but got told off for wearing a crop top; it was a boiling evening in
mid-August. Apparently I should have worn sleeves...

--
Helen D. Vecht: [email hidden]
Edgware.