Avoid the Subway Chipotle [censored]

In article said:

If you go to Subway, avoid the Chipotle Southwestern Cheesesteak Sub at all
costs!

I've been stuck on the toilet since saturday with no end in sight.

You say this like it's a bad thing...

If you were that full of [censored], maybe you needed a good purgative......
;-) Go drink a bottle of Magnesium citrate. That ought to finish
flushing the [censored] out within a day.

It sounds more to me like whoever made your sub didn't wash their hands.
Did they wear gloves?

Om.

In article <[email hidden]>, "Anthony" <[email hidden]>

Quoted message said:

If you go to Subway, avoid the Chipotle Southwestern Cheesesteak Sub at all
costs!

I've been stuck on the toilet since saturday with no end in sight. I went
to fill up the gas tank saturday night and noticed they got a Subway inside.
Since it takes a while to fill up my big honkin Lincoln Navigator, I decide
to get me a nice sub to take home and enjoy SNL.

So I says to the lady at the counter, yo babe, what's good? She recommends
the Chipotle Southwestern. Okay, I says, sounds good. I get home and I
cuddle on the couch with my footlong, chips, and a nice Dr. Pepper. Takes a
while to wolf that thing down.

Later on that night, the trouble starts. Wake up a 3am with a nasty stomach
ache. Go to the bathroom and take a nice dump. Nice, but not memorable.
The next day, BOOM! It hits me. I'm making trips to the toilet every two
hours. By now, the [censored] is really starting to stink like something died. I
can't stop [censored] and the [censored] is this sticky, tarry stuff that gets
everywhere and you wipe and wipe and wipe and the more you wipe the more of
the stuff there is.

This [censored] is a reddish brown, lighter than my usual dark brown stuff, and
sticky as hell. I'm going through two Charmin Ultra double rolls PER DAY
just wiping and wiping and wiping. My ass is raw and bleeding.

By now it's Monday and I'm down to bathroom trips every three hours. It's
still taking half a roll of the double Charim rolls per each [censored] session
and I'm having to moisten the toilet paper before I wipe, my raw ass can't
take it dry anymore. And the stuff is still stinking like a weapon of mass
destruction. I've never had [censored] stink so bad in my life! What the hell do
they put in that chipotle sauce??? I'm thinking of taking some samples down
to that Subway place today and asking them what the hell they put in it.

Man, now I wonder how Jarred did his Subway diet thing for a year. If that
story is true, he must have stayed in the bathroom the whole 12 months!

As for me, I don't think I'll be going back to Subway any time soon.

--
Om.

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-[censored]." -Jack Nicholson

Anthony said:

If you go to Subway, avoid the Chipotle Southwestern Cheesesteak Sub at all
costs!

Actually I prefer to avoid subway period. We have two local mom & pop
delis that make much better subs and as a little bonus they are less
expensive.

In article <[email hidden]>,

OmManiPadmeOmelet said:

It sounds more to me like whoever made your sub didn't wash their hands.
Did they wear gloves?

People often think the food made them sick when they catch a 24 or
48 hour clipper like this. The truth is that they could have picked
this bug up just about anywhere, and the food was just coincidental.
You rarely get this sick that quickly after eating something. More
likely, the guy picked up the bug a day or two earlier, and the
bug just hit critical mass and overwhelmed his defenses.

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

This [censored] is a reddish brown, lighter than my usual dark brown stuff, and
sticky as hell. I'm going through two Charmin Ultra double rolls PER DAY
just wiping and wiping and wiping. My ass is raw and bleeding.

This might be cause for concern. The red might be blood cells.
Having blood in your #2 could mean some kind of internal bleeding.
That could be an indicator of something like colon cancer or a
rupture somewhere. The original poster might want to get this
checked out. The Subway again could have been a coincidence, and
this problem was brewing for a while.

-john-

--
======================================================================
John A. Weeks III 952-432-2708 [email hidden]
Newave Communications http://www.johnweeks.com
======================================================================

In article <[email hidden]>,
OmManiPadmeOmelet says...

Quoted message said:

If you were that full of [censored], maybe you needed a good purgative......
;-) Go drink a bottle of Magnesium citrate. That ought to finish
flushing the [censored] out within a day.

It sounds more to me like whoever made your sub didn't wash their hands.
Did they wear gloves?

Complain to your local health inspectors, not us. A pattern of
complaints from other sufferers will quickly identify the source (sic).

Subway sells this sub flavour widely. I recently had one here in
Australia and suffered no ill effects. I dare say that millions of other
customers can report the same of the chipotle sub.

It's not the variety of sub, obviously, otherwise it wouldn't still be
on the market. Maybe it's one particular restaurant, or employee, but
unlikely they could go for any time without being identified.

Let us know how it comes out.

Oh. You did.

John A. Weeks III' said:

This might be cause for concern. The red might be blood cells.
Having blood in your #2 could mean some kind of internal bleeding.
That could be an indicator of something like colon cancer or a
rupture somewhere.

I had that symptom when I had food poisoning a few weeks ago. It was just
part of the process, and cleared up immediately when the poisoning worked
its way out of my system. I'm not saying you're wrong, but you may be
causing the OP unnecessary concern. Only time will tell.

Carol
--
"Years ago my mother used to say to me... She'd say,
'In this world Elwood, you must be oh-so smart or oh-so pleasant.'
Well, for years I was smart.... I recommend pleasant. You may quote me."

*James Stewart* in the 1950 movie, _Harvey_

Peter said:

Complain to your local health inspectors, not us. A pattern of
complaints from other sufferers will quickly identify the source (sic).

Within a month after Crash and I got sick at KFC, the place was shut down.
Apparently, we weren't the only victims of bad chicken. I think the
hospital took care of contacting the health department.

Carol
--
"Years ago my mother used to say to me... She'd say,
'In this world Elwood, you must be oh-so smart or oh-so pleasant.'
Well, for years I was smart.... I recommend pleasant. You may quote me."

*James Stewart* in the 1950 movie, _Harvey_

"John A. Weeks III" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

In article <[email hidden]>,

OmManiPadmeOmelet said:

Quoted message said:

This [censored] is a reddish brown, lighter than my usual dark brown stuff,
and
sticky as hell. I'm going through two Charmin Ultra double rolls PER
DAY
just wiping and wiping and wiping. My ass is raw and bleeding.

This might be cause for concern. The red might be blood cells.
Having blood in your #2 could mean some kind of internal bleeding.

Generally, a bleed will produce black stool.

Gabby

Quoted message said:

Are you sure it wasn't S N L that made you sick?!?

That Debbie Downer skit didn't give me the [censored], but it sure made me
wanna puke!

That character was funny the first time when they couldn't stop laughing. It's
been awful ever since.

Anthony said:

If you go to Subway, avoid the Chipotle Southwestern Cheesesteak Sub at all
costs!

Quoted message said:

I've been stuck on the toilet since saturday with no end in sight. I went
to fill up the gas tank saturday night and noticed they got a Subway inside.
Since it takes a while to fill up my big honkin Lincoln Navigator, I decide
to get me a nice sub to take home and enjoy SNL.

Quoted message said:

So I says to the lady at the counter, yo babe, what's good? She recommends
the Chipotle Southwestern. Okay, I says, sounds good. ...

Let that be a lesson to all of you. Never, ever, order what
a counter droid recommends. The chances are that the main ingredients
are at the 'Use before' date and you'll no doubt end up with a case
of the screaming [censored] like poor Anthony did.

Just think, the poor [censored] could have purchased his Chipotle
Southwestern Cheesesteak Sub while on the way to board an American
Airlines flight to Omaha -- the same flight that you were waiting to
board. Just guess who he'd be seated next to? That's right, you.
He'd have the window seat and you'd be in the middle. Lucky you!

By the time Anthony gets to the airport, the sub has already
started to work its magic inside of his tummy. By the time the aircraft
lifts off the Tarmac, you have that little air valve aimed at your face,
turned to full blast and tears will be flowing down your cheeks. It's a
good thing that people can't smoke on commerical aircraft, because we all
know what would happen if someone decides to flick his Bic.

About the time you think you're back in control, the stewardess
sevres you one of those oh-so-special airline dinners. Yum-yum! Nothing
beats a hearty dinner on an airline, except maybe a Chipotle Southwestern
Cheesesteak Sub.

As you're just starting to put a second forkfull of the entree
into your mouth, Anthony lets loose with one that even the flow of air
coming from that little valve can't stop and you gag. Poor Anthony
jumps up and says, "let me out, I think I'm going to [censored] my pants!"

Needless to say, both you and the other person seated next to
you have your seatbelts buckled and your trays lowered. What fun! By
time the the two of you are able to unbuckle, do something with your
meals and get your trays in the upright position, it's too late.

Halfway to Omaha, and you're stuck sitting next to someone with
a case of the screaming [censored] who has already [censored] his pants once. His
seat color has changed from a bright blue to a deep brown and has bubbles
on its surface. The carpet under your feet looks much the same.

What luck!

Anyone wonder if any airline has its planes carry enough barf bags
to handle an emergency situation like that?

Bobbi

---
Roberta Hatch '65 Panhead
Dykes on Bikes, San Francisco, CA (This space for rent)

In article <[email hidden]>, [email hidden]
says...

Quoted message said:

"John A. Weeks III" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

In article <[email hidden]>,

OmManiPadmeOmelet said:

> This [censored] is a reddish brown, lighter than my usual dark brown stuff,
> and
> sticky as hell. I'm going through two Charmin Ultra double rolls PER
> DAY
> just wiping and wiping and wiping. My ass is raw and bleeding.

This might be cause for concern. The red might be blood cells.
Having blood in your #2 could mean some kind of internal bleeding.

Generally, a bleed will produce black stool.

Indeed. Eat nothing but tomato and carrot foodstuffs for a couple of
days and watch the colors go reddish orange.

John A. Weeks III said:

OmManiPadmeOmelet <[email hidden]> wrote:

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

It sounds more to me like whoever made your sub didn't wash their hands.
Did they wear gloves?

Quoted message said:

People often think the food made them sick when they catch a 24 or
48 hour clipper like this. The truth is that they could have picked
this bug up just about anywhere, and the food was just coincidental.
You rarely get this sick that quickly after eating something. More
likely, the guy picked up the bug a day or two earlier, and the
bug just hit critical mass and overwhelmed his defenses.

You're 100-percent correct. Just because he pruchased a
questionable meal at a questionable establishment, doesn't mean
it was the cause of his troubles. My guess is that there's probably
only a likelihood of say, oh about, 99.99999999-percent that the food
is the problem.

Bobbi

---
Roberta Hatch '65 Panhead
Dykes on Bikes, San Francisco, CA (This space for rent)

"Marcia Rovins" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

Are you sure it wasn't S N L that made you sick?!?

That Debbie Downer skit didn't give me the [censored], but it sure made me
wanna puke!

That character was funny the first time when they couldn't stop laughing.
It's
been awful ever since.

Now I can't get the image of Debbie Downer telling me that Jared's sandwich
gave her the squirts.

Anthony said:

If you go to Subway, avoid the Chipotle Southwestern Cheesesteak Sub at all
costs!

I've been stuck on the toilet since saturday with no end in sight. I went
to fill up the gas tank saturday night and noticed they got a Subway inside.
Since it takes a while to fill up my big honkin Lincoln Navigator, I decide
to get me a nice sub to take home and enjoy SNL...

....

Quoted message said:

By now it's Monday and I'm down to bathroom trips every three hours. It's
still taking half a roll of the double Charim rolls per each [censored] session
and I'm having to moisten the toilet paper before I wipe, my raw ass can't
take it dry anymore. And the stuff is still stinking like a weapon of mass
destruction. I've never had [censored] stink so bad in my life! What the hell do
they put in that chipotle sauce??? I'm thinking of taking some samples down
to that Subway place today and asking them what the hell they put in it.

I don't suppose you considered the possibility that she actually took
you seriously when you asked "And could you please blow your nose on the
bun?"

--
Cheers,
Bev
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
When cryptography is outlawed, only outlaws will
qwertzuio asdfghjk pyxcvbnml -- M. O'Dorney

--
x-no-archive: yes

"Destiny's Aborted Child" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

Anthony said:

If you go to Subway, avoid the Chipotle Southwestern Cheesesteak Sub at

all

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

costs!

I've been stuck on the toilet since saturday with no end in sight. I

went

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

to fill up the gas tank saturday night and noticed they got a Subway

inside.

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

Since it takes a while to fill up my big honkin Lincoln Navigator, I

decide

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

to get me a nice sub to take home and enjoy SNL.

So I says to the lady at the counter, yo babe, what's good? She

recommends

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

the Chipotle Southwestern. Okay, I says, sounds good. I get home and I
cuddle on the couch with my footlong, chips, and a nice Dr. Pepper.

Takes a

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

while to wolf that thing down.

Later on that night, the trouble starts. Wake up a 3am with a nasty

stomach

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

ache. Go to the bathroom and take a nice dump. Nice, but not memorable.
The next day, BOOM! It hits me. I'm making trips to the toilet every

two

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

hours. By now, the [censored] is really starting to stink like something died.

I

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

can't stop [censored] and the [censored] is this sticky, tarry stuff that gets
everywhere and you wipe and wipe and wipe and the more you wipe the more

of

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

the stuff there is.

This [censored] is a reddish brown, lighter than my usual dark brown stuff, and
sticky as hell. I'm going through two Charmin Ultra double rolls PER DAY
just wiping and wiping and wiping. My ass is raw and bleeding.

By now it's Monday and I'm down to bathroom trips every three hours.

It's

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

still taking half a roll of the double Charim rolls per each [censored] session
and I'm having to moisten the toilet paper before I wipe, my raw ass

can't

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

take it dry anymore. And the stuff is still stinking like a weapon of

mass

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

destruction. I've never had [censored] stink so bad in my life! What the hell

do

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

they put in that chipotle sauce??? I'm thinking of taking some samples

down

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

to that Subway place today and asking them what the hell they put in it.

Man, now I wonder how Jarred did his Subway diet thing for a year. If

that

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

story is true, he must have stayed in the bathroom the whole 12 months!

As for me, I don't think I'll be going back to Subway any time soon.

P.S.

Are you sure it was S N L that made you sick?!?

That Debbie Downer skit didn't give me the [censored], but it sure made me
wanna puke!

I think it was saying something like "yo babe, what's good?" to the counter
help that inspired her to put a little something extra in the sauce - if you
know what I mean.

"Gabby" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...

"John A. Weeks III" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...

Generally, a bleed will produce black stool.

Gabby

Depends on where the "bleed" originates; it can be black or red-colored. At
least that is what I was told 15 years ago.

Tom

Anthony said:

I've been stuck on the toilet since saturday with no end in sight.

Perhaps a small hand held mirror might help.

Cork-O-Mattic
The Proper Stopper
Exclusive butt plug of
the Special Olympics

If this story is true go to a doctor.

Post of the year!

"Roberta Hatch" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

Let that be a lesson to all of you. Never, ever, order what
a counter droid recommends. The chances are that the main ingredients
are at the 'Use before' date and you'll no doubt end up with a case
of the screaming [censored] like poor Anthony did.

Just think, the poor [censored] could have purchased his Chipotle
Southwestern Cheesesteak Sub while on the way to board an American
Airlines flight to Omaha -- the same flight that you were waiting to
board. Just guess who he'd be seated next to? That's right, you.
He'd have the window seat and you'd be in the middle. Lucky you!

By the time Anthony gets to the airport, the sub has already
started to work its magic inside of his tummy. By the time the aircraft
lifts off the Tarmac, you have that little air valve aimed at your face,
turned to full blast and tears will be flowing down your cheeks. It's a
good thing that people can't smoke on commerical aircraft, because we all
know what would happen if someone decides to flick his Bic.

About the time you think you're back in control, the stewardess
sevres you one of those oh-so-special airline dinners. Yum-yum! Nothing
beats a hearty dinner on an airline, except maybe a Chipotle Southwestern
Cheesesteak Sub.

As you're just starting to put a second forkfull of the entree
into your mouth, Anthony lets loose with one that even the flow of air
coming from that little valve can't stop and you gag. Poor Anthony
jumps up and says, "let me out, I think I'm going to [censored] my pants!"

Needless to say, both you and the other person seated next to
you have your seatbelts buckled and your trays lowered. What fun! By
time the the two of you are able to unbuckle, do something with your
meals and get your trays in the upright position, it's too late.

Halfway to Omaha, and you're stuck sitting next to someone with
a case of the screaming [censored] who has already [censored] his pants once. His
seat color has changed from a bright blue to a deep brown and has bubbles
on its surface. The carpet under your feet looks much the same.

What luck!

Anyone wonder if any airline has its planes carry enough barf bags
to handle an emergency situation like that?

Bobbi

---
Roberta Hatch '65 Panhead
Dykes on Bikes, San Francisco, CA (This space for rent)