Your best Joke

tingle_wayne said:

I'm tired of being the only one around who dosn't know any jokes, so please send me your jokes. I will tell them at the office and not give you any credit, but at least you know you helped.

Here's the only joke I know

Two muffins are about to be baked in an oven. After they get put on the rack and the door closes one looks over and says, "Boy it sure is getting hot in here."
The other one looks over and says, "Holy [censored] a talking muffin."

I know ten thousand jokes but here is one for Christmas.

What do the female reindeers do while Donner and Blitzen etc. are out pulling the sleigh, to kill time.

They go out and "blow a few bucks".

Here's one the PC support guys will love.

"Q: What do IT people use for birth control?

A: Their personalities"

Padraic

jhuskey said:

I know ten thousand jokes but here is one for Christmas.

tell us another one then, one about a cop on a horse and a girl on a bike at christmas,

what does Santa Clause and M Jackson have on common?

they both.....hold on, this is a family forum, better not.

A pirate walks into a bar. He's got a wooden leg, a hook for a hand, an eye patch, and a steering wheel stuffed down the front of his pants. The bartender thought he had seen it all, but never anyone with a steering wheel sticking out of their pants. He can't stop staring at it. The pirate steps up to the bar and orders a drink. The bartender pours the drink and works up the courage to ask, "You know you have a steering wheel in your pants?" The pirate glares at him out of his one eye, downs the drink and replies, "Yarrrrrrr, it's drivin' me nuts!"

How do you catch a Polar Bear?

You cut a hole in the ice and place green peas all around the hole.
When he comes to take a pea you kick him in the icehole.

How do you catch a elephant?

You dig a hole and fill it with ashes and then put green peas around it.
When he comes to take a pea you kick him in the ashhole.

I like the first joke better, my wife insists the second one is the original and best, but she is from Montana.........................I humor her. 😄

Ludicrous said:

How do you catch a Polar Bear?

You cut a hole in the ice and place green peas all around the hole.
When he comes to take a pea you kick him in the icehole.

How do you catch a elephant?

You dig a hole and fill it with ashes and then put green peas around it.
When he comes to take a pea you kick him in the ashhole.

I like the first joke better, my wife insists the second one is the original and best, but she is from Montana.........................I humor her. 😄

First one fur sure.

Horse walks into a bar.
Bartender looks up and asks, "Hey, what's with the long face?"