Found this this morning. I like #50 best:
http://www.swb.de/personal/elch/e_50-reasons.html
(original English retained)
1. Because it requires significant artistical skills to cycle over
cars parked on the cycle path.
2. Because the cycle path suddenly stops 100 meters on without a
noticeable continuation.
3. Because they have not yet found a place where the curb was
lowered far enough to enable a safe ascent.
4. Because it is not a cycle path but a building site.
5. Because they carry delicate goods in thier panniers, which they
cannot expect to survive the shaking about by the potholes, frost damage
and bumps caused by tree roots; so they roll on the smooth, looked after
roadway instead.
6. Because pedestrians walk on the cycle path.
7. Because the police have recommended it.
8. Because the cycle path is not suitable for 30 km/h but the road is.
9. Because the trailer is too wide for the 70 cm wide path.
10. Because the bike with trailer is too long for the corner a few
hundred meters on.
11. Which cycle path?
12. Beacuse it is impossible to reach the button for the traffic
lights at the next crossing from a recumbent, and one does not want to
cross the road at "red".
13. Because there is still grit from the winter before last on the
cycle path-- and exactly in the next bend.
14. Because the pedestrian railings on the path are near invisible at
night.
15. Because the glaring neon ads of the bus stop, which one has to
dodge are so dazzling that one would be nearly blind.
16. Because one happens not to carry a broom to remove the broken
bottle which has been on the path for a week.
17. Because somebody has carefully swept the glass from last week's
traffic accident off the road onto the cycle path.
18. Because on principle I don't cycle on the wrong side of the road.
19. Because they want to turn left a hundred meters on.
20. Because they don't want to turn right a hundred meters on.
21. Because the cycle path is barred, only someone has forgotten to
put up the correct signs.
22. Because the cycle path is barred, since someone has forgotten to
remove the signs.
23. Because it is uncomfortable.
24. Because it is too slow.
25. Because it is dangerous.
26. My car is being serviced, officer, and I don't know my way round
the ridiculous traffic rules on cycle paths!
27. Do I look like weary of life?
28. Because one would have to cross the road for that, but this short
stretch of ycle path is shorter than the road is wide!
29. Because one would have to cross the road to get there -- but where?
30. Because one would have to cross the road to come back -- but where?
31. Because helmets are so bad at protecting against metal bars at
the height of the private parts.
32. If we compute the maximum safety distance between pedestrians and
bicyclists on the usual shared use path, quite often we come up with a
negative number. That's not enough for 20 km/h.
33. I only cycle on the road because the damned induction loop on the
cycle path isn't visible any more, and I have forgotten where it is!
34. Because on the road the metal railings on the foot path give me
50 cm safety distance to the pedestrians. This is just enough for the 40
km/h I am doing.
35. In order to relinquish that little bit of space on the combined
foot/cycle paths to the slower mofa drivers. Hello partner -- thank you!
(*) A mofa is a moped limited to 25 km/h which people in Germany
are allowed to ride with only a theoretical test.
36. Because overtaking on the cycle path is far too dangerous.
37. Why? The road cleaning department only have somebody free for
tomorrow to remove all the glass from the cycle path. That's what they
told me on the phone.
38. I also break for trees. I don't want to damage those soft tree
roots which start coming though the cycle path over there by just
cycling over them!
39. Can you tell me since when they've started securing road works on
the cycle paths? This is a road works.
40. When I came along here this morning, the post office/utilities
were working were. Who expects them to finish that quickly?
41. My puncture repair kit is finished.
42. Because it is soo difficult to overtake Mofas on the cycle path.
43. Only as long as I am using my spare rear bulb. Promise!
44. Because on the cycle path you are overtaken with 50 cm distance
but on the road with 1m distance.
45. Because it increases the chances that the lighting of my bike is
actually visible.
46. On that cycle path? Only with a weapons' licence!
47. Because there are so many collections of bulky refuse.
48. Pardon? I thought this was the parking area.
49. Because the permanent blows -- one every couple of hundred meters
by an insufficiently lowered curb -- ruin my (intervertebral) discs.
50. Because cycle paths are really only usable when one cycles for
fun. But who actually has fun using cycle paths?
--
Tony
"Anyone who conducts an argument by appealing to authority is not using
his intelligence; he is just using his memory."
- Leonardo da Vinci