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True drunk driving story.

Started by Simon Mason · · Last activity · 50 posts · 2,106 views

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UK and Europe
Published
20 May 2004
Last activity
24 May 2004
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Simon Mason
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  1. Following on from the alcoholics thread, a great true story just sprung to
    mind. Going to a very strict Catholic school meant that a lot of my mates
    were tee total (as opposed to the nuns and priests who stank of the stuff).
    This was great when we left school and passed our driving tests and went
    around all the country pubs. I had a pal that would happily drive his 4
    mates (me included) around and we would keep him in ginger ale, or whatever
    stuff he was on for the night. Perfect symbiosis.

    In 1987, we went out for a few jars around the place and he was driving us
    home at around 2330. Blue light appears in mirror and Plod pulls us over. My
    mate opens the window and the copper's eyes light up as a cloud of booze
    envelops his head. He gets all excited about a major collar on his patch,
    but first he has to go through all the formalities.

    "Have you been drinking"? he says to my mate.

    "Yes" he says.

    And when was your last drink?

    Comic pause.

    "1976" !

    (he had had sherry at a christening or something when his guardian angel was
    distracted)

    HAHAHA

    On a similar note a Catholic colleague ate a bacon sarnie on Good Friday
    morning shift. When I pointed this out he looked at me in horror, until he
    relaxed and said "It's OK - no one will know".
    --
    Simon M.

  2. Quoted message said:

    I had a pal that would happily drive his 4
    mates (me included) around and we would keep him in ginger ale, or whatever
    stuff he was on for the night. Perfect symbiosis.

    The crowd I hung out in, whoever drove, the rest of us would keep supplied with
    the alcohol-free stuff all evening. I've never had a problem not drinking &
    driving. As far as I'm concerned, it's a no-no. If someone else is driving,
    I'll happily consume a few glasses of the fermented juice of grape, but I will
    not drink/drive or cycle/drive.

    Cheers, helen s

    --This is an invalid email address to avoid spam--
    to get correct one remove fame & fortune
    h*$el*$$e*nd**$o$ts**i*$*$m*m$o*n*s@$*a$o*l.c**$om$

    --Due to financial crisis the light at the end of the tunnel is switched off--

  3. Quoted message said:

    Going to a very strict Catholic school meant that a lot of my mates
    were tee total

    Having lived with a houseload of Catholics at university (I even joined
    the Catholic society as a social member), the idea of a teetotal
    Catholic seems quite unbelievable to me.

    Quoted message said:

    (as opposed to the nuns and priests who stank of the stuff).

    That sounds about right, though :-)

    Quoted message said:

    On a similar note a Catholic colleague ate a bacon sarnie on Good Friday
    morning shift. When I pointed this out he looked at me in horror, until he
    relaxed and said "It's OK - no one will know".

    Why should you always invite two Methodists to a party?

    If you only invite one, he'll drink all your beer.

    --
    Danny Colyer (the UK company has been laughed out of my reply address)
    <url:http://www.speedy5.freeserve.co.uk/danny/>
    "He who dares not offend cannot be honest." - Thomas Paine

  4. "dirtylitterboxofferingstospammers" <[email hidden]> wrote in
    message news:[email hidden]...

    Quoted message said:
    Quoted message said:

    I had a pal that would happily drive his 4
    mates (me included) around and we would keep him in ginger ale, or


    whatever

    Quoted message said:
    Quoted message said:

    stuff he was on for the night. Perfect symbiosis.

    The crowd I hung out in, whoever drove, the rest of us would keep supplied


    with

    Quoted message said:

    the alcohol-free stuff all evening. I've never had a problem not drinking


    &

    Quoted message said:

    driving. As far as I'm concerned, it's a no-no. If someone else is


    driving,

    Quoted message said:

    I'll happily consume a few glasses of the fermented juice of grape, but I


    will

    Quoted message said:

    not drink/drive or cycle/drive.

    Yes, I don't cycle/drive either. I find it's the devil's own job to pedal
    while also controlling the accelerator and brake on the car.

  5. On 20 May 2004 16:34:05 GMT, [email hidden]

    (dirtylitterboxofferingstospammers) said:

    but I will
    not drink/drive or cycle/drive.

    You find cycling affects your ability to drive?

  6. Quoted message said:
    Quoted message said:

    but I will
    not drink/drive or cycle/drive.

    You find cycling affects your ability to drive?

    Glad you spotted my deliberate error to see if readers are awake ;-)

    Of course it should be drink/cycle

    Cheers, helen s

    --This is an invalid email address to avoid spam--
    to get correct one remove fame & fortune
    h*$el*$$e*nd**$o$ts**i*$*$m*m$o*n*s@$*a$o*l.c**$om$

    --Due to financial crisis the light at the end of the tunnel is switched off--

  7. "dirtylitterboxofferingstospammers" <[email hidden]> wrote in
    message news:[email hidden]...

    Quoted message said:
    Quoted message said:
    Quoted message said:

    but I will
    not drink/drive or cycle/drive.

    You find cycling affects your ability to drive?

    Glad you spotted my deliberate error to see if readers are awake ;-)

    Of course it should be drink/cycle

    Cheers, helen s

    Is it a criminal offense to ride a bike while under the influence of
    alchohol?

  8. Quoted message said:

    Is it a criminal offense to ride a bike while under the influence of
    alchohol?

    Whether it is or isn't matters not to me. Alcohol does adversely affect
    judgement, reflexes etc., and I really don't wnt to be drunk on a bike and
    wobble into the path of a vehicle, or pedestrian, other cyclist... tree...
    ditch... bed of nettles...

    Cheers, helen s

    --This is an invalid email address to avoid spam--
    to get correct one remove fame & fortune
    h*$el*$$e*nd**$o$ts**i*$*$m*m$o*n*s@$*a$o*l.c**$om$

    --Due to financial crisis the light at the end of the tunnel is switched off--

  9. "erics" <eric@No_SpaMthe-stannards.co.uk_Thanks> wrote in message
    news:40adbd53$0$25326

    Quoted message said:


    Is it a criminal offense to ride a bike while under the influence of
    alchohol?

    It is, yes. You would though have to be falling off or wobbling about
    alarmingly to get done . Whether you are drunk is entirely subjective and
    up the police officer, as no breathalyser test is allowed. You cannot have
    any driving licence endorsement either. Riding whilst drunk is obviously
    very silly, but I have been to the pub on my bike, had a couple and ridden
    home OK, but I agree it's best not to.
    --
    Simon M.

  10. "erics" <eric@No_SpaMthe-stannards.co.uk_Thanks>typed

    Quoted message said:

    "dirtylitterboxofferingstospammers" <[email hidden]> wrote in
    message news:[email hidden]...

    Quoted message said:
    Quoted message said:

    >but I will
    >not drink/drive or cycle/drive.

    You find cycling affects your ability to drive?

    Glad you spotted my deliberate error to see if readers are awake ;-)

    Of course it should be drink/cycle

    Cheers, helen s

    Quoted message said:

    Is it a criminal offense to ride a bike while under the influence of
    alchohol?

    It is to be *drunk* in charge of a carriage (of which a bicycle is one).
    Drunk usually implies a higher level of intoxication than the
    drink/drive limit.

    --
    Helen D. Vecht: [email hidden]
    Edgware.

  11. erics said:

    Is it a criminal offense to ride a bike while under the influence of
    alchohol?

    Yes, but:

    - there is no absolute limit as for driving
    - your driving licence cannot be affected by a conviction for cycling while
    drunk

    --
    Guy
    ===
    May contain traces of irony. Contents liable to settle after posting.
    http://www.chapmancentral.co.uk

    Victory is ours! Down with Eric the Half A Brain!

  12. Simon Mason said:

    Following on from the alcoholics thread,

    A police patrol saw a car driving just a little erratically, and pulled
    it over. The policeman asked the driver, a retired major type, when he
    last had a drink.

    "1950," boomed the major dramatically.

    The policeman apologised, and was about to let the major go, when the
    major glanced at his watch and continued,

    "...and it's already nearly 20:15, mustn't be late for my nightcap."

  13. erics said:

    Is it a criminal offense to ride a bike while under the influence of
    alchohol?

    Yep, but under the pre-breathalyser road laws - the offence is to be
    arbitrarily drunk, not to have a blood alcohol level above a set amount.

    (normal IANAL caveats apply)

    Roger

  14. Now I know a chap, who shall remain nameless but is a bit of a black
    sheep and has frequented Her Majesty's Correctional Facilities, who
    apparently avoided a drink drive charge recently.

    The copper had pulled him over and they were standing beside the squad
    car discussing the boozy smell on his breath. I think something must
    have distracted the policmen for a second because this chap leaned
    into the squad car whilst the copper wasn't looking and half-inched
    the breathalyser (stuffing it up his jumper.). PC subsequently can't
    find the breathalyser and lets this guy go.

    I hear that he regularly breathalyses himself with said stolen goods
    following a night on the tiles to see if he's within the driving
    limit. And apparently if you've eaten recently you can get away with a
    good few pints and get away with it.

    Scary.

  15. in message <[email hidden]>, erics

    ('eric@No_SpaMthe-stannards.co.uk_Thanks') said:


    "dirtylitterboxofferingstospammers" <[email hidden]> wrote
    in message news:[email hidden]...

    Quoted message said:
    Quoted message said:

    >but I will
    >not drink/drive or cycle/drive.

    You find cycling affects your ability to drive?

    Glad you spotted my deliberate error to see if readers are awake ;-)

    Of course it should be drink/cycle

    Cheers, helen s

    Is it a criminal offense to ride a bike while under the influence of
    alchohol?

    Certainly in Scotland. The offence is being 'drunk in charge of a
    _vehicle_', and a friend of mine was once so charged as a result of
    pushing a child's perambulator (with another adult friend in it) down
    Princes Street in Edinburgh after a rather jolly night on the town.
    Can't remember whether he plead guilty or was found guilty but he was
    certainly fined.

    --
    [email hidden] (Simon Brooke) http://www.jasmine.org.uk/~simon/

    Anagram: I'm soon broke.

  16. helen:

    Quoted message said:

    Whether it is or isn't matters not to me. Alcohol does adversely affect
    judgement, reflexes etc., and I really don't wnt to be drunk on a bike and
    wobble into the path of a vehicle, or pedestrian, other cyclist... tree...
    ditch... bed of nettles...

    Indeed. A friend of mine once found this out while cycling home from the pub
    drunk - broken arm, broken collarbone, numerous cuts and grazes, severe
    concussion...

    Fortunately, no other vehicles involved - just him and a kerb that wouldn't
    stay in its lane.

    d.

  17. Upon the miasma of midnight, a darkling spirit identified as "Just zis
    Guy, you know?" <[email hidden]> breathed:

    Quoted message said:

    erics wrote:

    Quoted message said:
    Quoted message said:

    Is it a criminal offense to ride a bike while under the influence of
    alchohol?

    Quoted message said:

    Yes, but:

    - there is no absolute limit as for driving
    - your driving licence cannot be affected by a conviction for cycling while
    drunk

    This seems mostly reasonable, as your ability to kill other people is
    rather less on a bike than in motor vehicle - you'd have to be going
    rather faster than is usually possible before you could wipe out a
    complete bus queue, and your ability to damage property is little
    greater than that of a pedestrian.

    A drunk cyclist is mostly a hazard to themselves, though they could be
    the cause of a different accident. Someone over the limit in charge of
    a motor vehicle is a major hazard to people other than themselves, not
    to mention their ability to damage property.

    --
    - Pyromancer.
    - http://www.inkubus-sukkubus.co.uk <-- Pagan Gothic Rock!
    - http://www.littlematchgirl.co.uk <-- Electronic Metal!
    - http://www.revival.stormshadow.com <-- The Gothic Revival.

  18. Upon the miasma of midnight, a darkling spirit identified as
    dirtylitterboxofferingstospammers <[email hidden]> breathed:

    Quoted message said:
    Quoted message said:

    I had a pal that would happily drive his 4
    mates (me included) around and we would keep him in ginger ale, or whatever
    stuff he was on for the night. Perfect symbiosis.

    Quoted message said:

    The crowd I hung out in, whoever drove, the rest of us would keep supplied with
    the alcohol-free stuff all evening. I've never had a problem not drinking &
    driving. As far as I'm concerned, it's a no-no. If someone else is driving,
    I'll happily consume a few glasses of the fermented juice of grape, but I will
    not drink/drive or cycle/drive.

    The only thing that bugs me about not drinking is the utter lack of
    choice.

    Ask a pub what beers they've got and you'll get a long list of lagers,
    ales, plus at least one cider (and usually a different one in bottles).

    Ask them what low alcohol drinks they've got and they'll grunt "LA" at
    you, invariably some horrid lager-based thing. Try to explain to the
    barperson that "LA" simply means "low alcohol" and what you want is to
    know what choice of low alcohol drinks they've actually got and you'll
    get the same look you would if you ordered a deep fried ferret in fresh
    badger sauce.

    :-(

    If only they did tomato and fruit juices at decent prices it wouldn't be
    so bad, but if everyone else is drinking pints of ale at 1.70 each, then
    if I can't have a low-alcohol version of the same thing (note ale, *not*
    lager), I want a pint of orange or tomato juice at the same price, not
    some daft fancy version at 2 quid a (small) bottle.

    A few places, including my local Goth nightclub, do orange juice in the
    form of one litre supermarket UHT cartons from which they'll merrily
    sell you a pint for 1.60, which is more than reasonable, but way too
    many places don't.

    --
    - Pyromancer.
    - http://www.inkubus-sukkubus.co.uk <-- Pagan Gothic Rock!
    - http://www.littlematchgirl.co.uk <-- Electronic Metal!
    - http://www.revival.stormshadow.com <-- The Gothic Revival.

  19. Pyromancer said:

    Someone over the limit in charge
    of a motor vehicle is a major hazard to people other than themselves,
    not to mention their ability to damage property.

    What always baffles me is that it is seen as perfectly acceptable that the
    risk a drunk driver poses is such that an automatic ban is socially
    acceptable, yet there is an immediate backlash as soon as it is suggested
    that a similar penalty should apply for actually killing someone or causing
    serious injury (i.e. the outcome whose risk is considered so unacceptable in
    the case of drink-driving).

    It seems that the fact that death was an unintended consequence is
    sufficient excuse. Although in the case of a drunk the fact that they might
    have got home without harming anyone is not. It is most curious.

    --
    Guy
    ===
    May contain traces of irony. Contents liable to settle after posting.
    http://www.chapmancentral.co.uk

    Victory is ours! Down with Eric the Half A Brain!

  20. "Pyromancer" <[email hidden]> wrote in message

    Quoted message said:

    If only they did tomato and fruit juices at decent prices it wouldn't be
    so bad, but if everyone else is drinking pints of ale at 1.70 each, then
    if I can't have a low-alcohol version of the same thing (note ale, *not*
    lager), I want a pint of orange or tomato juice at the same price, not
    some daft fancy version at 2 quid a (small) bottle.

    When I didn't drink alcohol, I used to ask for orange cordial, diluted with
    a pint of water. Cost a hell of a lot less than juices.

    Simon M.

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