[censored]

wafflycat said:

Well, tomorrow I'm off to the local plod. I'd go tonight but in deepist
ruril Nofik, there isn't a local plod at night :-(

Cycling into WeightWatchers as per usual on a Thursday evening, the local
chav in his custom paint jobbie car played his usual game of how close can
we get to the cyclist. He is a dangerous [censored] - and this is a regular
occurance on a Thursday. This week he really did have me almost off the
bike. I am only semi-joking when I say that if my [censored] was the width it used
to be I think I would not be in a position to be typing this, I'd be dead
:-( So tomorrow I'm going to report him to plod. I don't actually this plod
will do anything, but at least it'll be reported and if the [censored] does
manage to kill me one week, they'll know it's not likely to have been an
accident...

They might do something. I knew someone who stupidly overtook another car
on a mini roundabout by driving over the roundabout. He was reported to
the police who were waiting for him the next day.

--
Michael MacClancy

On 22 Apr 2005 01:49:46 GMT, Graeme <[email hidden]>

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

1. Shot him
2. Burn the body
3. That is all.

Quoted message said:

Surely step 3 is "Hide the evidence"?

But no! It should be displayed on a gibbet pour encourager les
autres.

Guy
--
May contain traces of irony. Contents liable to settle after posting.
http://www.chapmancentral.co.uk

88% of helmet statistics are made up, 65% of them at CHS, Puget Sound

In article said:

"Tony Raven" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...
an accident...

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

Can I suggest a cheap disposable camera? Next week when he tries it, have
the camera ready and take a flash picture, and another as he drives away.
It will worry him enough that you have photographic evidence that he may
well be put off trying it again.

Tony

Only difficulty, he comes up behind me and he's speeding, probably well over
60mph, so I haven't got time to take a picture :-(
I don't suppose you know how to fit an Exocet missile launcher to my
handlebars?

Would a rifle rack do?
http://www.tidalforce.com/products/sportsman/index.html

Just zis Guy said:

On 22 Apr 2005 01:49:46 GMT, Graeme <[email hidden]>

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

1. Shot him
2. Burn the body
3. That is all.

Quoted message said:

Surely step 3 is "Hide the evidence"?

But no! It should be displayed on a gibbet pour encourager les
autres.

How do you display ashes on a gibbet?

Tony

"Alan Braggins" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

In article <[email hidden]>, wafflycat wrote:

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

Only difficulty, he comes up behind me and he's speeding, probably well
over
60mph, so I haven't got time to take a picture :-(
I don't suppose you know how to fit an Exocet missile launcher to my
handlebars?

Would a rifle rack do?
http://www.tidalforce.com/products/sportsman/index.html

That's the business! ;-)

Cheers, helen s

you know? said:

But no! It should be displayed on a gibbet pour encourager les
autres.

Aha. So THAT'S what motorway gantries are built for.

Alan Braggins said:

In article said:

[quoted text muted]

Would a rifle rack do?
http://www.tidalforce.com/products/sportsman/index.html

I just love it.

Can David Martin braze one up for us?
Beats attachments for lights anyday.

On 22/4/05 1:45 pm, in article [email hidden],

John Hearns said:

Alan Braggins said:

In article said:

[quoted text muted]

Would a rifle rack do?
http://www.tidalforce.com/products/sportsman/index.html

I just love it.

Can David Martin braze one up for us?
Beats attachments for lights anyday.

Couple of bent bits of 3mm steel strip on top of some old steel bar ends?
Don't see why not ;-)

...d

John Hearns said:

I just love it.

Can David Martin braze one up for us?
Beats attachments for lights anyday.

Just sling the rifle on your back where the chav can see it. On the
bars is useless - I bet he doesn't even know his mirror is there let
alone look in it.

Tony

"wafflycat" <wafflesATv21netDOTcoDOTuk> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

Well, tomorrow I'm off to the local plod. I'd go tonight but in deepist
ruril Nofik, there isn't a local plod at night :-(

Cycling into WeightWatchers as per usual on a Thursday evening, the local
chav in his custom paint jobbie car played his usual game of how close can
we get to the cyclist. He is a dangerous [censored] - and this is a regular
occurance on a Thursday. This week he really did have me almost off the
bike. I am only semi-joking when I say that if my [censored] was the width it

used

Quoted message said:

to be I think I would not be in a position to be typing this, I'd be dead
:-( So tomorrow I'm going to report him to plod. I don't actually this

plod

Quoted message said:

will do anything, but at least it'll be reported and if the [censored] does
manage to kill me one week, they'll know it's not likely to have been an
accident...

If it is a regular occurance then plod better bloody take it seriously and,
as a minimum, pop round and feel his collar -- with a significant lecture on
acceptable behaviour and threats of keeping a very close eye on him. What
is the odds that, if they pulled him over after chucking out time, he might
find his licence in peril?

Quoted message said:

On the positive side, at WW I discovered that this week I have managed to
lose 4.5lbs, bringing my total weight loss since middle of December 04 to
57lbs, or 4st 1lb :-)

Yep -- you must be a mite narrower in the hips now!!

You're positively wasting away.

T

On Fri, 22 Apr 2005 13:04:16 +0100, Tony Raven <[email hidden]>

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

>1. Shot him
>2. Burn the body
>3. That is all.

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

Surely step 3 is "Hide the evidence"?

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

But no! It should be displayed on a gibbet pour encourager les
autres.

Quoted message said:

How do you display ashes on a gibbet?

You need an unusually hot fire to reduce a human body to ashes.

Guy
--
May contain traces of irony. Contents liable to settle after posting.
http://www.chapmancentral.co.uk

88% of helmet statistics are made up, 65% of them at CHS, Puget Sound

"Tony W" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

If it is a regular occurance then plod better bloody take it seriously
and,
as a minimum, pop round and feel his collar -- with a significant lecture
on
acceptable behaviour and threats of keeping a very close eye on him. What
is the odds that, if they pulled him over after chucking out time, he
might
find his licence in peril?

Quoted message said:

I seriously hope plod does have a strong word in the shell-like of the
driver. I was thinking to myself that as the mother of a teenage son who
will be wanting to learn to drive when he's 17 later this year, that as and
when he passes his driving test he already *knows* what I'd do if he ever
drove like a lunatic. What plod could do would pale into insignificance as
to the Wrath Of The Mother From Hell... so I'm hoping that being a cyclist
and knowing the dangers stupid tossers driving cars can be, that he won't
turn into a stupid [censored] once he's passed his driving test. One can but
hope.

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

On the positive side, at WW I discovered that this week I have managed to
lose 4.5lbs, bringing my total weight loss since middle of December 04 to
57lbs, or 4st 1lb :-)

Yep -- you must be a mite narrower in the hips now!!

Multidinous inches narrower

Quoted message said:

You're positively wasting away.

Alas not - still overweight and not yet in the healthy weight range for
height yet.

Cheers, helen s

Quoted message said:

T

wafflycat said:

I don't suppose you know how to fit an Exocet missile launcher
to my handlebars?

Do you have any contacts in the US Air Force? They have a squadron of A10
"Tankbusters" in East Anglia at the moment. One of those should make
short work of a Nova/Saxo/Whatever. OTOH you might not want all that
depleted uranium lying around afterwards...

Mike

On Fri, 22 Apr 2005 15:42:54 +0100 someone who may be "wafflycat"
<wafflesATv21netDOTcoDOTuk> wrote this:-

Quoted message said:

so I'm hoping that being a cyclist
and knowing the dangers stupid tossers driving cars can be, that he won't
turn into a stupid [censored] once he's passed his driving test. One can but
hope.

Well, most of us do stupid things from time to time, especially at
that sort of age. Hopefully he will not do something really stupid,
but rather it will just be embarrassing for all.

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

Yep -- you must be a mite narrower in the hips now!!

Multidinous inches narrower

Show off:-)

--
David Hansen, Edinburgh | PGP email preferred-key number F566DA0E
I will always explain revoked keys, unless the UK government
prevents me by using the RIP Act 2000.

Tony W said:

acceptable behaviour and threats of keeping a very close eye on him. What
is the odds that, if they pulled him over after chucking out time, he might
find his licence in peril?

My first thoughts involved the revenge of him loosing his precious car. But
then, he might learn to ride a bicycle and I don't see why he should be
rewarded with the pleasures and benefits of cycling.

--
***My real address is m/ike at u/nmusic d/ot co dot u/k (removing /s)
np:
http://www.unmusic.co.uk
http://www.unmusic.co.uk/amh-s-faq.html - alt.music.home-studio FAQ
http://www.unmusic.co.uk/wrap.php?file=vhs.html - vhs purchase log.

wafflycat said:

that he won't turn into a stupid [censored] once he's passed his driving
test. One can but hope.

Of course here lies part of the problem ....... people are not taught
how to drive, but only how to pass a driving test (pathetic test in any
case) Driving skills should be taught and 'earned' throughout the
learning stage with a 'record' on your licence when the skills have
been achieved. Re-Tests every 3 years would do us ALL good, but we as a
nation are happy to kill 3500 people a year with our cars ..... bottom
line really!