Tomorrow is Thanksgiving.
Thanksgiving meals contain loads of carbs.
You are on a low carb diet, so you can't eat anything except a few
carrot and celery sticks.
Remember, you can not eat carbs.
I repeat....
YOU CAN NOT EAT CARBS.
Therefore, you can NOT eat Thanksgiving dinner.
And since you cant eat, why should anyone else enjoy their dinner.
The solution, TORTURE YOURSELF, while ruining dinner for everyone
else.
Begin by refusing to eat, in fact, refuse to even sit at the table.
When they say Grace, cus out God and make rude comments about God
wanting everyone to get fat. As soon as everyone starts eating,
stand near the table while others eat and make lots of rude comments
about all the carbs and far and other bad stuff that others are
eating. Be sure to raise your voice and use many cus words, and
loudly stamp around the table in a rapid and irritated manner. Tell
everyone how the carbs are going to ruin their health an make then fat
and ugly. Make sure you knock over glasses of liquids, bottles of
expensive wine, break some plates and dump over the mashed potatoes,
dressing and gravy.
It wont be long before they ask you to leave. When they do, grab a
kitchen knife, walk into another room and stab yourself in the chest,
slash your wrists, and cut off your ears. You want lots of blood
spurting around. Once the blood is really spurting, run into the
dining room (or wherever everyone is eating) and make sure everyone
sees you covered with blood. Scream and yell at the top of your lungs
so they take notice, and be sure to make them all aware that the
reason you did this is because they rejected you when they told you to
leave. Your first goal is to make them feel guilty. Your other goal
is to ruin their meal. If you got blood spurting from your slashed
wrists, or your chest, make sure the blood shoots all over the table
and their plates, and on to their fancy clothing.
By the time you finish doing this, you wont want to eat anymore, and
you'll get lots of attention from others, (which is what you wanted),
and in the process, you'll completely ruin their meal. Remember, you
want to ruin the meal for everyone, and that means EVERYONE. If you
cant eat and enjoy your meal, why should they. Do everything to ruin
the meal for others, to make you feel better about not being able to
eat.
On the way to the hospital, be sure to scream constantly and cus and
act like you are going into convulsions. Try to cut yourself more,
even if you have to use your fingernails. You want everyone to think
that you are dying, and be sure to keep blaming your relatives for
killing you, and call them lots of foul names. Remember, you want
attention. Once you get to the hospital, spit in the faces of doctors
and nurses, and rip out any IV tubes they put in you. Break whatever
you can, and be sure to let everyone know that you are really angry
for not being able to eat the Thanksgiving dinner.
Hopefully you succeeded in ruining Thanksgiving for everyone who dared
to eat all those nasty carbs, and you feel better about yourself.
This website should explain everything......
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/3522903.stm