"Delenn" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
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Quoted message said:An hour a day could be spent serving as a volunteer in a hospice
organization, or reading great literature to your kids, or calling your
mother every day, or driving your kids to soccer practice and staying to
help coach.
Though it could be argued that if you spend an hour a day exercising
that you'll live long enough that in the long term you'll do more good
(if you are so inclined) than if you let yourself fall apart and die young.
But okay, I see your point ... except for taking the kids to soccer
practice.
Get involved with their practice and you'll get loads of exercise.
Quoted message said:Everyone has to choose how to spend their hours. Someone who isn't at a
place in their life where choosing to workout is a priority is not
necessarily someone who would make a bad mate.
No, there's a lot more to being a good or bad mate than that.
I was responding to your comment that you were a better
companion when you didn't take care of yourself ... in terms of a
lifemate I disagree in general (though it might be true in your
case). Folks I know who don't exercise and eat right seem to
have less energy to spend with their partner and kids, and have
greater problems dealing with the inevitable stresses of family life.
If what you're saying is that health isn't the most important
thing to look for in a partner, I'd agree. But if you're saying
it isn't important at all, I disagree ... at least if you're planning
on having kids.
Quoted message said:I think Larry is right to look for a woman who enjoys the same activities
he enjoys. If he likes to go out drinking and watch a lot of TV then he
needs to expect she's going to be dumpy. if he likes to rollerblade and
go skiing every week-end then his girlfriend ought to be interested in
integrating this into her life as well... but it doesn't necessarily mean
she'll have stopped eating (you can be active AND fat, you know) nor does
it mean she's already been doing it all along.
I'll agree with that, and I think its something you see more often
in men than women (the expectation that your partner will try to
remain attractive while you let yourself go to pot). But if you're
active yourself, it can be frustrating to be with someone who
isn't interested in doing what you want to do, at least at first.
I suspect this becomes less important as you get older, and have
gone through so much with each other that activities are less
important than pure companionship and history.
As for active and fat, sure, and its not a problem. But you can
almost immediately tell if someone is active and fat, just by
the way they carry themselves. Active and fat can be sexy
in women ... but I'm afraid I haven't found myself attracted to
any women who are inactive and fat. Does that matter in
the long run, after you've learned to love someone? I doubt
it, from talking to old couples. But when you're first getting
started, I'd say it does ... physical attraction is part of a relationship;
actually I bet its the same when you're older, its just that your
idea of what's attractive evolves so that it always includes your
partner (assuming you have a good marriage).
Quoted message said:Maybe she's ready to stop being fat and join him on rollerblades. But
he's screening her out because she's not already slender.
Again, I'll agree; shared interest in activity is the key point. Its
part of any important human relationship (like learning about soccer,
which I used to think was a pretty boring game, but made a point
of learning about it because both my kids are into it ... and I"m
dammed glad they're not sitting around playing video games).
Does it matter that I'm a horrible soccer player? I don't think so,
the kids seem to get a kick out of dribbling around the old man.
Would it matter if I took no interest in what they're doing? Maybe
not, but I'd be missing out on a big part of their childhood. Come to
think of it, the only time I jog is when my wife want to go for a run,
though I get my revenge by dragging her out to judo.
Quoted message said:So take the word "vain" out, and you have people who look fit because of a
lifestyle involving a lot of play and/or a lot of concern over their own
health. Both of these attributes can have a down side when it's your mate
you're talking about.
I don't know about that; I think play is a very important part of life,
and a very good thing in a partner, as long as you want to play
the same games, and know when to play and when you have to work.
One of the things I love about my wife is how she can make
things which might be chores into a game... and even going for a run
can be a great time to talk about things.
Quoted message said:
I still maintain that 45 year old women don't look slender by accident,
and I know an awful lot of 40-something year old women (and am one
myself.)
Depends upon genetics; some folks are naturally slender. For my
part slender isn't such a big deal (actually most men I know aren't
really into skinny anyway), but fit is ... again, its a body language
thing rather than fat content.
-JS2
