Thieving abstrads!

Just zis Guy said:

I submit that on or about Mon, 28 Nov 2005 17:11:04 +0000 (UTC), the
person known to the court as "wafflycat"
<w*a*ff£y£cat*@£btco*nn£ect.com> made a statement
(<[email hidden]> in Your Honour's
bundle) to the following effect:

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

Michael's bike was stolen today from the locked bike cages at
school, along with one other bike. All the BMXs were untouched...

I do hope the school are taking this suitably seriously....

Ho yus. CCTV tapes are in the safe awaiting the tender ministrations
of HM Constabulary.

When Mr. Sunshine bike was abstracted by minipikeys from outside his place
of work, Plod looked at the CCTV footage, which showed the minipikeys in
question to be wearing the uniform of the nearby skool and said it was
nothing whatsoever to do with them, and had Mr. Sunshine tried the gas
board? Mr. Sunshine then showed the CCTV footage to the head of said skool,
the minipikeys were duly identified and Mr. Sunshine's bicycle returned.

On the other hand, when maxipikeys absconded with Towed Hall - Uncle Marvo's
caravan - from outside /his/ place of work, the CCTV picture was too low in
resolution to allow anyone to read the number plate of the tow car. And
this being Real Life, the software to extract information from images where
none exists does not exist. Bah!

Good luck, and may the tea-leaves die unloved. In a ditch.

--
Dave Larrington - <http://www.legslarry.beerdrinkers.co.uk/>
Life - loathe it or ignore it, you can't like it.

Peter Clinch said:

Just zis Guy said:

Quoted message said:

Whoever took his bike deserves a slabbing. In the meantime, I have cursed
them and the fruit of their loins for 100 generations...

Quoted message said:

Indeed. Further, I recommend that their goolies be cut off.

I don't think you can cut off their goolies /and/ have 100 generations
cursed (c.f."birds and bees"😉...

There are two ways to father 100 generations and be without goolies.
#1 - Procreate before being eunuchised.
#2 - Previously make a deposit in a sperm bank.

Cursing 100 generations is appropriate insurance.

On Tue, 29 Nov 2005 10:27:54 +0000, Simon Brooke
<[email hidden]> said in
<[email hidden]>:

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

> Michael's bike was stolen today from the locked bike cages at school,
> along with one other bike. All the BMXs were untouched...
Was the lock damaged, perchance?

Missing in its entirety, but there were fragments of the other bike's
locks present. There is a witness to him having locked it.

Quoted message said:

No, I meant the lock to the bike cage itself. If the lock to that was
undamaged, it implies a theft by someone with authorised access to the
cage, which is a smaller group of suspects.

OIC. It was almost certainly during the two periods when the cage is
unlocked (morning and evening).

Guy
--
http://www.chapmancentral.co.uk

"To every complex problem there is a solution which is
simple, neat and wrong" - HL Mencken

"Just zis Guy, you know?" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

Michael's bike was stolen today from the locked bike cages at school,
along with one other bike. All the BMXs were untouched...

Condolences etc. Not much of a consolation, but I've come out of my theft
quite well. The Fondriest that I paid 500 quid for got nicked. Insurance
gave me a 1000 quid Trek in return, which I sold to a club rider for 800.
Bought a 2200 (when new) quid Fondriest off ebay for 750 + plus the infamous
import tax. So have ended up with a much better bike for next to nix :-)

--
Simon Mason
http://www.simonmason.karoo.net

On Tue, 29 Nov 2005 08:31:39 +0000, Peter Clinch
<[email hidden]> said in <[email hidden]>:

Quoted message said:

I don't think you can cut off their goolies /and/ have 100 generations
cursed (c.f."birds and bees"😉...

You can't be too careful. If only one pikey is prevented...

Guy
--
http://www.chapmancentral.co.uk

"To every complex problem there is a solution which is
simple, neat and wrong" - HL Mencken