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The Holy Roller Rides Again

Started by Mikefule · · Last activity · 6 posts · 385 views

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rec.sport.unicycling
Published
15 October 2005
Last activity
15 October 2005
Original author
Mikefule
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  1. This morning dawned misty, damp and grey and it took some effort to
    persuade myself to go for a ride. However, "winter drawers on, Mrs.
    Thingy," and I thought I'd better make the most of a free day before
    the weather gets even worse.

    So I drive up to Sherwood Pines Visitor Centre, about 13 miles from
    home. Here, if I pay £2, I can have the privilege of parking my car
    and probably not having it broken into during my ride.

    The Muni is enjoying a new lease of life, ever since I fitted the
    Maxxis Holy Roller 26 x 2.4" tyre to it. Instead of a plodding
    "tractor", I have come to think of it as a fun unicycle. And just as
    Cokers are named after their tyres, I'm starting to think of the MUni
    as The Holy Roller.

    It's a cold morning so I do a few half-hearted stretches to loosen up
    before riding, just to be on the safe side, then I mount and set off at
    what counts as high speed for me. The predictable steering of the Holy
    Roller, compared to the previous tyre (Gazzaloddi 2.3"😉 invites me to
    spin the cranks as fast as I can, rather than holding something in
    reserve.

    So maybe I set off too fast, because when I reach the first obstacle, a
    wiggle gate, my balance circuits haven't warmed up, and as soon as I
    slow down, I UPD - most embarrassing.

    Then there's a short section of rough but wide track, with grass and
    mud, and I feel like I'm "in the zone" as the tyre hoovers it up. This
    is the life! Until I get tot he cross roads, slow down... and wallop!
    Another UPD.

    I remount and ride a little more slowly for a while, zigzagging a bit
    and looking for puddles and uneven bits of ground until I feel that all
    my brain's gyroscopes have started to spin properly.

    I then speed up and ride fast and straight along a wide forest road,
    making easy work of a couple of small hills before becoming bored and
    diving off into the forest. Here, the tracks are narrower, sometimes
    muddy, sometimes blocked by deep muddy puddles, and often crossed by
    tree roots. Now I really am in the zone, and I make faster progress
    than I would have thought possible a few weeks ago. It's late morning
    on a cold damp Saturday when most people are probably shopping or
    watching TV, so I have the forest to myself.

    The trail I'm following spits me out next to a gate, and I suddenly
    recognise where I am: the place where I often used to park my car until
    it got broken into a few weeks ago. I cross the tarmac lane and pass
    through a gate onto another wide forest road. This is a side of the
    forest that offers lots of good riding, some challenging hills, and
    fewer people, but somehow I seldom ride here. I think it's because the
    very first section is a long uphill, and when I used to park here, my
    wheel naturally turned towards the easier track at the start of the
    ride.

    I pass a couple of surprised mountain bikers. They look like the sort
    who put their bikes into top gear, pedal three for three strokes then
    coast for a bit before stopping to regroup, never break sweat, and go
    home thinking they've been doing an extreme sport. Still, it's a free
    country, and it's certainly not my place to shout unsolicited comments
    at people with strange hobbies, so I nod a greeting and continue up the
    hill.

    At the top of the hill, the track turns to the right and becomes level.
    I make a conscious effort to slow down, hoping to see some deer. No
    luck. I guess they were all shot and eaten by a legendary outlaw in
    the time of King John. Either that or they're just elsewhere in the
    forest. Anyway, I get my breath back then turn off the easy track
    again for a short climb to meet one of the best fun tracks I know.

    This track is wide enough for a Land Rover, but appears never to be
    used by anyone except the occasional horse rider or unicyclist. There
    are logs strewn across the trail in places, and I practise riding over
    these - nothing thicker than about 3 or 4 inches. The mud and sand of
    the path is carpeted with golden autumn leaves, stuck together in a
    soggy mess, and concealing all manner of unexpected wheel traps.

    The trees in this part of the forest are mainly chestnut, horse
    chestnut and beech, all of which have spiky seed cases and I can hear
    these falling around me as I ride. I'm wearing a helmet, and I cast my
    mind back to the last helmet debate in this forum. Does the helmet
    make it more likely that my head will be hit by a falling conker, or
    just more likely that it will hurt me if it does hit me? I never did
    follow that debate properly.

    I turn a corner and there's a short steep incline with mud, sand and
    gravel, I lose traction and step off. This is an opportunity to rest
    and get my breath back. I sit and watch the vapour of my sweat forming
    clouds and drifting in the light breeze - these are rare weather
    conditions indeed. I also watch a squirrel, busy clambering up and
    down a tree and hiding nuts in the ground. The forest is silent except
    for the occasional rattle and thud of a conker falling through the
    leaves and landing on the forest floor, the drip drip of earlier rain
    falling from the leaves, the distant songs of birds... and the
    chainsaw-rasp of 2 stroke motorbikes on the nearby railway embankment.

    A few minutes later, I'm up on the railway embankment, and the bikers
    have moved on. The embankment no longer has a railway track on it, and
    the surface has subsided unevenly, leaving a long sequence of humps and
    hollows. Each hollow is full of dirty water. I ride along, hitting
    the puddles at reasonable speed so that my momentum carries me through.
    I can roughly judge the depth of the water from the width of the
    puddle, but sometimes I am taken by surprise, or the bottom of the
    puddle is particularly slimy. However, I make it without a dismount
    until I reach a bit where the water is so wide and deep it would be
    foolish to try. I find a way past this and then I'm on a wide barren
    area of rutted ground and slimy puddles.

    I ride for a bit, with no clear sense of purpose, and decide that this
    area is not a nice place to be. I toy with the idea of riding down the
    side of the embankment. As I am considering this, I see a little
    Suzuki jeep full of youths appears from the direction that I've just
    come from. This decides me, and I launch over the edge of the
    embankment onto a steep and rutted sand and gravel slope. A few pedal
    strokes down, I sideslip and step off.

    I pause to regroup, and the jeep appears at the top of the hill behind
    me. I invite the driver to overtake, but he smiles and tells me to go
    ahead. The pressure is on, and I freemount, and spin and slide down
    the long sandy slope, arms waving frantically, and make it to the
    bottom in one. Boy! That must've looked good! The jeep follows me
    down and turns in the opposite direction at the bottom of the slope,
    the driver giving a cheery wave.

    A little later, I am at the edge of The Desert. This is a wide expanse
    of sand and gravel on former quarry land, and is a regular meeting
    place for young men with dirt bikes, quads and jeeps. I've ridden on
    here before, and it isn't easy. So I set off up a gravel path that
    climbs up to a platform that overlooks the desert. I make the whole
    climb in one go then, tired, UPD at the very top. I'm probably 20
    metres or so higher than the desert, and I have a commanding view of
    the motorbikers in one direction, and the treetops in the other.

    Breath fully recovered, I ride on until I find a chance to descend. I
    choose a steep sand and gravel slope that I've never successfully
    ridden down before. I feel like I trust the Holy Roller more than I
    trusted the Gazz, and I start the descent, carefully at first, then
    allowing the uni to speed up until I spin out on the very last bit.
    This is a tactic I would never have risked before, and my reward is my
    first ever successful descent by this route.

    A few minutes later, I am riding across The Desert itself. In places
    the sand is hard packed, and bound together by moisture. The tyre
    sinks in ever so slightly, but control is easy. In other places,
    motorbikes have broken the surface and stirred the mixture of sand and
    gravel leaving it unstable. These sections are tiring work, and I am
    aware of a distant audience of youths on motorbikes - and that they
    might at any moment choose to become a nearby audience. I UPD once,
    but not badly, then walk a short distance to some packed sand and
    remount.

    I hear the bikes roaring towards me from behind. I have no idea
    whether they just happen to be coming this way, or whether they are
    riding over to chat, or to be hostile. This is an area where I would
    not like to fall foul of the local youth population. I keep riding
    until, hitting a patch of deep sand, I fall, landing on all fours. I
    check the seat, remount and ride on. I'm aware of the bikes stopping a
    short distance behind me, but nothing is said. Perhaps fortunately,
    from the credibility point of view, the next part of my route is a
    short series of humps, bumps and a narrow muddy ridge, and I ride it
    all in one.

    --
    Mikefule

    So, do you ride with a club?

    No, but I carry a heavy spanner.
    ------------------------------------------------------------------------
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    View this thread: http://www.unicyclist.com/thread/43990

  2. Back into the forest, and I find myself in an area where the trails have
    been chewed up by motorbike tyres, and the mud and rain have combined
    to form a black slimy paste with all the grip of hot buttered Teflon.
    There are a few UPDs here, and I do some walking, before making it back
    to a better track.

    A few minutes later, I am back up on the railway trackbed, and I ride
    to the very end, where there is another steep rutted gravel and sand
    slope down. I have never ridden more than a few feet down this without
    falling off, but again the predictable handling of the Holy Roller
    gives me confidence, and I go for it, and make it. Today I have
    ridden some stuff way beyond what I could have done two months ago on
    the same uni, and I'm convinced the tyre is the crucial difference.

    This slope drops me next to the footbridge over the railway cutting
    (yes, a deep railway cutting that runs almost parallel to a steep
    railway embankment. There is no doubt an excellent engineering reason,
    that escapes me.) So, over the footbridge and back into the more
    beautiful part of the forest. From here, I ride a few loops, taking in
    some of the official off road cycling course ("Warning: Experienced
    Cyclists Only"!) and some of the artificial humps and bumps used by the
    mountain bike and BMX fraternities. All the mountain bikers I meet are
    poddling along, avoiding the difficult bits. Maybe it's the weight of
    all those extra components.

    By now, I'm pretty tired. I've been riding hard for two hours, in mud,
    sand, gravel and slimy wet leaves, and my legs have very little push
    left in them. I find a firm wide forest road back to the car park and
    find I can still spin reasonably fast, though. Soon, I'm back in the
    car, tired, but exhilarated. The battery on my computer's flat, but I
    guess I've ridden 12 - 15 miles, including some of the most technical
    and challenging stuff I've ever ridden. Great fun!

    --
    Mikefule

    So, do you ride with a club?

    No, but I carry a heavy spanner.
    ------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Mikefule's Profile: http://www.unicyclist.com/profile/879
    View this thread: http://www.unicyclist.com/thread/43990

  3. Here's the state of the uni afterwards:

    +-------------------------------------------------------------------+
    |Filename: DSCN0276.JPG |
    |Download: http://www.unicyclist.com/attachment/10212 |
    +-------------------------------------------------------------------+

    --
    Mikefule

    So, do you ride with a club?

    No, but I carry a heavy spanner.
    ------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Mikefule's Profile: http://www.unicyclist.com/profile/879
    View this thread: http://www.unicyclist.com/thread/43990

  4. And another

    +-------------------------------------------------------------------+
    |Filename: DSCN0275.JPG |
    |Download: http://www.unicyclist.com/attachment/10213 |
    +-------------------------------------------------------------------+

    --
    Mikefule

    So, do you ride with a club?

    No, but I carry a heavy spanner.
    ------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Mikefule's Profile: http://www.unicyclist.com/profile/879
    View this thread: http://www.unicyclist.com/thread/43990

  5. Fantastic story, as usual Mikefule. I was almost there with you.

    Instead I was in Prestatyn, doing my own 'baby MUni', which is a short
    track of about 3 miles all together. It's a narrow track with hills and
    mud, but not too much. I'm not much good at it yet but I am getting
    better. Much harder work than 29ing along the prom. But kind of more
    'fun' and not so reliant on the weather.

    And don't you just love the smell of dog [censored] on your tyres in the car
    on the way home. Yuck!

    Cathy

    --
    cathwood

    Relax, just a little pin [censored], they'll be no more "Argggh" but you may
    feel a little sick - Pink Floyd.

    http://www.chuckingandtwirling.co.uk
    ------------------------------------------------------------------------
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    View this thread: http://www.unicyclist.com/thread/43990

  6. Terrific ride that we we went on today. It was the first time that I've
    ridden in muddy conditions. I don't get to uni with others very often.
    (Snap) back to reality. Darn, I'm actually in Boston, in front of a
    computer, and it's still pouring out. It's been raining for over 1
    week. Thanks for taking me away from this for a short while.

    --
    One on one

    "However, like the jet pilot, if the Coker rider tries to turn too fast,
    he/she could black out."
    -Memphis Mud

    I went further than I had planned and had a testicle break at about 25
    ks
    -onebyone
    ------------------------------------------------------------------------
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