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the fabulous, nonexistant fabrizio

Started by Seth Jayson · · Last activity · 22 posts · 1,697 views

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Recumbent bicycles
Published
11 June 2003
Last activity
12 June 2003
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Seth Jayson
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  1. I've already hypothesized that fabrizio isn't really Italian, since he doesn't seem to answer any of
    the Italian barbs I've slung his way.

    (How could he resist the one where I asked him if he had something inadequate between his legs? I
    was talking about his bike, of course.)

    Anyway, I ran some google searches on his name, and came up with some interesting results.

    1) There were NO references to anyone of his name in any race results anywhere. (This is proof that
    the name doesn't go with a racer, as even the most amateurish racers come up in race results via
    google searches.)

    2) There are several funny references to Il Signore Fabrizio in odd places. One comes from the
    Evanston Bike Club, in describing a club ride, where Fabrizio is synonymous with Phred. (See the
    dictionary of mountain bike slang if you don't know what that means. It ain't good.)

    In summary, Fabrizio is obviously someone's fun internet hoax. We aren't the only group he enjoys
    tweaking. I say we take up a collection and award the pot to the first person who can sleuth up
    Fabrizio's real identity.

    Is he a comic book guy? Does he even have a bike? Maybe it's Captain Bike's alter ego? Lance
    Armstrong's stress outlet?

  2. Nice private eye work there, Seth. I did a Fabrizio search once too. He chose a good name, because a
    fair number of both "Fabrizio's" and "Mazzoleni's" turned up in some European race results. But not
    the magic "Fabrizio Mazzoleni". Anyway, you can be sure he (she?) loves all the fuss that is made
    over him/her on this group. True to the classic troll form, he/she never responds to any posts that
    question his identity or existence, nor, as you discovered, can he respond to anything in Italian.
    The only way to drop him, is to ignore him.

    Seth Jayson said:

    I've already hypothesized that fabrizio isn't really Italian, since he doesn't seem to answer any
    of the Italian barbs I've slung his way.

    (How could he resist the one where I asked him if he had something inadequate between his legs? I
    was talking about his bike, of course.)

    Anyway, I ran some google searches on his name, and came up with some interesting results.

    1) There were NO references to anyone of his name in any race results anywhere. (This is proof
    that the name doesn't go with a racer, as even the most amateurish racers come up in race
    results via google searches.)

    2) There are several funny references to Il Signore Fabrizio in odd places. One comes from the
    Evanston Bike Club, in describing a club ride, where Fabrizio is synonymous with Phred. (See
    the dictionary of mountain bike slang if you don't know what that means. It ain't good.)

    In summary, Fabrizio is obviously someone's fun internet hoax. We aren't the only group he enjoys
    tweaking. I say we take up a collection and award the pot to the first person who can sleuth up
    Fabrizio's real identity.

    Is he a comic book guy? Does he even have a bike? Maybe it's Captain Bike's alter ego? Lance
    Armstrong's stress outlet?

    --
    -Geoff

    geoffadams.comgeoffadams.com

  3. FABrizio may well be a FABricazione but surely you must appreciate the stir he causes, no? Think of
    how he has sharpened our barbs, for example. Let us praise this "bull in the china shop!"

  4. From BikeReader.com (enjoy!)

    ----------------------------
    This little gem was mined from the newsgroup rec.bicycles.misc. We're not familiar with the Fabrizio
    in question, but it doesn't really matter.

    Yes, Gary, There is a Fabrizio by Ryan Cousineau

    Anybody have a picture of this marvelously-attired dude? Gary

    There actually *are* pix out there. Let me assure you, Fabrizio is real. And I know he'd blow my
    pins off in any hill climb. There is substance behind his style. He just doesn't talk about
    substance; he prefers to talk about style. Let me remind you, sometimes what people don't say is
    more important than what they do say. And sometimes, not. Tom

    And now Ryan: We take pleasure in answering thus prominently the communication above, expressing at
    the same time our great gratification that its faithful authors are numbered among the readers of
    rec.bicycles.misc:

    Gary, your friends are wrong. They have been affected by the skepticism of a skeptical age. They do
    not believe except they see. They think that nothing can be which is not written up in VeloNews. All
    minds, Gary, whether they be men's or children's are little. In this great universe of ours Category
    V is a mere insect, an ant, in its cycling, as compared with the boundless world about it, as
    measured by the riding skills capable of grasping the whole of truth and knowledge.

    Yes, Gary, there is a Fabrizio Mazzoleni. He exists as certainly as love and Shimano and brifteurs
    exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! How
    dreary would the world be if there were no Fabrizio Mazzoleni! It would be as dreary as if there
    were no Garys. There would be no Category V-like faith then, no poetry, no Sunday rides to make
    tolerable this existence. We should have no cycling, except in sense and sight. The eternal light
    with which cycling style fills the world would be extinguished.

    Not believe in Fabrizio Mazzoleni! You might as well not believe in hill-climbing wheels! You might
    get your papa to hire men to watch in all the bicycle races on the first day of Spring to catch
    Fabrizio, but even if you did not see Fabrizio Mazzoleni breaking away, what would that prove?
    Nobody sees Fabrizio, but that is no sign that there is no Fabrizio. The most real things in the
    world are those that neither children nor men can see. Did you ever see the performance difference
    ten grams makes? Of course not, but that's no proof that it is not there. Nobody can conceive or
    imagine all the wonders there are unseen and unseeable in cycling.

    You tear apart a bicycle pump and see what makes the air come out, but there is a veil covering the
    cycling world which not Jobst Brandt, nor even the united brains of all the mechanical engineers
    that ever lived, could tear apart. Only faith, fancy, intervals, style, weight-fixation, can push
    aside that curtain and view and picture the supernal riding and racing beyond. Is it all real? Ah,
    Virginia, in all this world there is nothing else real and abiding, excepting steel.

    No Fabrizio Mazzoleni! Thank God! He rides, and rides forever. A thousand crits from now, Virginia,
    nay, ten times ten thousand Tours from now, he will continue to make style the heart of cycling.

  5. Try: geocities.comedwhitebone See the pic caption in the center bg

    Seth Jayson said:

    I've already hypothesized that fabrizio isn't really Italian, since he doesn't seem to answer any
    of the Italian barbs I've slung his way.

    (How could he resist the one where I asked him if he had something inadequate between his legs? I
    was talking about his bike, of course.)

    Anyway, I ran some google searches on his name, and came up with some interesting results.

    1) There were NO references to anyone of his name in any race results anywhere. (This is proof
    that the name doesn't go with a racer, as even the most amateurish racers come up in race
    results via google searches.)

    2) There are several funny references to Il Signore Fabrizio in odd places. One comes from the
    Evanston Bike Club, in describing a club ride, where Fabrizio is synonymous with Phred. (See
    the dictionary of mountain bike slang if you don't know what that means. It ain't good.)

    In summary, Fabrizio is obviously someone's fun internet hoax. We aren't the only group he enjoys
    tweaking. I say we take up a collection and award the pot to the first person who can sleuth up
    Fabrizio's real identity.

    Is he a comic book guy? Does he even have a bike? Maybe it's Captain Bike's alter ego? Lance
    Armstrong's stress outlet?

  6. bg said:

    Try: geocities.comedwhitebone See the pic caption in the center bg

    So you'd have us believe that Fabrizio Mazzoleni is a guy who looks like President Bush in helmet
    and goggles and rides with a bunch of middle-aged but fit-looking guys who are sponsored by a
    trucking company.

    I'll work on it.

  7. "bg" <[email hidden]> wrote in message "]news:[email hidden]...

    Quoted message said:

    Try: geocities.comedwhitebone See the pic caption in the center bg


    You're not supposed to do that. It's like telling kids there's no Santa Clause. Shame on you. ;-)

  8. Oh, no! All my female fantasies of a beautiful dark wiry male racing cyclist with a face like the
    Armani model, gone, vanished, broken away. 🙁

    C.C.

    Quoted message said:

    From: geoff adams <[email hidden]>

    Quoted message said:

    Nice private eye work there, Seth. I did a Fabrizio search once too.

    Quoted message said:
    Seth Jayson said:

    I've already hypothesized that fabrizio isn't really Italian, since he doesn't seem to answer any
    of the Italian barbs I've slung his way.

    Quoted message said:
    Quoted message said:

    In summary, Fabrizio is obviously someone's fun internet hoax. We aren't the only group he enjoys
    tweaking. I say we take up a collection and award the pot to the first person who can sleuth up
    Fabrizio's real identity.

    Quoted message said:

    -Geoff

  9. What's the matter with you, girl ?? Isn't it enough to fantasize about white beard santa's on LWB's
    with big smiles and distant look in the eyes?

    Shame on you!

    Us euro-style SWB recumbeteers on the other hand.. ;-)

    "Carol Cohen" <[email hidden]> wrote in message "]news:[email hidden]...

    Quoted message said:

    Oh, no! All my female fantasies of a beautiful dark wiry male racing cyclist with a face like the
    Armani model, gone, vanished, broken away. 🙁

    C.C.

    Quoted message said:

    From: geoff adams <[email hidden]>

    Quoted message said:

    Nice private eye work there, Seth. I did a Fabrizio search once too.

    Quoted message said:
    Seth Jayson said:

    I've already hypothesized that fabrizio isn't really Italian, since he doesn't seem to answer
    any of the Italian barbs I've slung his way.

    Quoted message said:
    Quoted message said:

    In summary, Fabrizio is obviously someone's fun internet hoax. We aren't the only group he
    enjoys tweaking. I say we take up a collection and award the pot to the first person who can
    sleuth up Fabrizio's real identity.

    Quoted message said:

    -Geoff


  10. Thanks BG, it all makes sense now... his name is ED ... white....bone hmmnnn....

    Chris

    bg said:

    Try: geocities.comedwhitebone See the pic caption in the center bg

    Seth Jayson said:

    I've already hypothesized that fabrizio isn't really Italian, since he doesn't seem to answer any
    of the Italian barbs I've slung his way.

    (How could he resist the one where I asked him if he had something inadequate between his legs? I
    was talking about his bike, of course.)

    Anyway, I ran some google searches on his name, and came up with some interesting results.

    1) There were NO references to anyone of his name in any race results anywhere. (This is proof
    that the name doesn't go with a racer, as even the most amateurish racers come up in race
    results via google searches.)

    2) There are several funny references to Il Signore Fabrizio in odd places. One comes from the
    Evanston Bike Club, in describing a club ride, where Fabrizio is synonymous with Phred. (See
    the dictionary of mountain bike slang if you don't know what that means. It ain't good.)

    In summary, Fabrizio is obviously someone's fun internet hoax. We aren't the only group he enjoys
    tweaking. I say we take up a collection and award the pot to the first person who can sleuth up
    Fabrizio's real identity.

    Is he a comic book guy? Does he even have a bike? Maybe it's Captain Bike's alter ego? Lance
    Armstrong's stress outlet?

  11. So, Fab, you can chime in here anytime........

  12. Chris, Umm, er, could you clarify. bill g

    Chris Crawford said:


    Thanks BG, it all makes sense now... his name is ED ... white....bone hmmnnn....

    Chris

    bg said:

    Try: geocities.comedwhitebone See the pic caption in the center bg

    Seth Jayson said:

    I've already hypothesized that fabrizio isn't really Italian, since he doesn't seem to answer
    any of the Italian barbs I've slung his way.

    (How could he resist the one where I asked him if he had something inadequate between his legs?
    I was talking about his bike, of course.)

    Anyway, I ran some google searches on his name, and came up with some interesting results.

    1) There were NO references to anyone of his name in any race results anywhere. (This is proof
    that the name doesn't go with a racer, as even the most amateurish racers come up in race
    results via google searches.)

    2) There are several funny references to Il Signore Fabrizio in odd places. One comes from the
    Evanston Bike Club, in describing a club ride, where Fabrizio is synonymous with Phred. (See
    the dictionary of mountain bike slang if you don't know what that means. It ain't good.)

    In summary, Fabrizio is obviously someone's fun internet hoax. We aren't the only group he
    enjoys tweaking. I say we take up a collection and award the pot to the first person who can
    sleuth up Fabrizio's real identity.

    Is he a comic book guy? Does he even have a bike? Maybe it's Captain Bike's alter ego? Lance
    Armstrong's stress outlet?


  13. Beautiful work! (I wish I'd bothered to read more than a page of Fabrizio links off google, but
    hunting trolls is as mind-numbing as MTV.) Now we can look up Fabrizio's real results. He'll be
    surely bummed out when he realizes we're onto him.

    I say we forget all about it. The real Fabrizio was much more fun, even if he's just a geezer in
    fancyboy clothes (like many of our favorite members of this group 😉

    Quoted message said:
    Quoted message said:

    geocities.comedwhitebone See the pic caption in the center

  14. "geoff adams" <[email hidden]> wrote in message "]news:[email hidden]...

    Quoted message said:

    So, Fab, you can chime in here anytime........

    I can't believe you guys actually fell for the old phony web page trick! That was fabricated a
    couple of years ago by a guy that goes by the name of Zoot Katz from another newsgroup.

    I just assumed it was long taken down by geocities or yahoo. If it was really mine I would be using
    the URL to the webpage for my sig on all my posts, wouldn't I.

    Anyway, forget it, it's was a lame joke by Katz.

  15. Quoted post said:

    Originally posted by Carol Cohen
    Oh, no! All my female fantasies of a beautiful dark wiry male racing cyclist with a face like the
    Armani model, gone, vanished, broken away. 🙁

    C.C.

    Appears that the Dream may not be ****tered after all...😉

  16. Right..... "Zoot Katz" ..... got it.

    Zoot Katz made the phony "Fabrizio" web site.

    Yes, it was just "Zoot" claiming to be "Fabrizio". Just a harmless prank. Thanks for clearing that
    up, Fab. You ARE an honest person after all. Whew.

  17. The plot thickens! The old joke! Maybe, maybe not. The "made in Italy" link on the left of that page
    (madonna and child, but the child is a baby fancy boy in cycling cap) sure speaks of an Italiophile,
    as Fabbo obviously is -- despite his complete incomprehension of Italian. I wonder if he can find
    Italy on a map. I'm guessing yes. The Canadians have good schools.

    Still no explanation of the lack of race results from our mysterious troll. Fascinating, really.
    Enjoy the attention, Boney.

    Quoted message said:

    I can't believe you guys actually fell for the old phony web page trick! That was fabricated a
    couple of years ago by a guy that goes by the name of Zoot Katz from another newsgroup.

  18. Your just now figuring this out? I have some real estate in Florida I'd like to sell you.

    I see his posts as a breath of fresh air. So much so that I go out of my way to read the threads
    that contain his posts. The one the other day about not sitting at the same table with him but
    instead he'll give you his cell number is hilarious. I still laugh when I read it.

    What's just as funny is the rise he gets out of people who think he's real.

    [email hidden] (Seth Jayson) wrote in message
    news:<[email hidden]>...

    Quoted message said:

    In summary, Fabrizio is obviously someone's fun internet hoax.

  19. Trouble is, I see too many of those laid-back whiskered pedalers to fantasize about them.
    Familiarity breeds contempt. And no 'benters have tanned thigh backs and pained riding expressions,
    a real turn-on for me.

    C.C.

    Quoted message said:

    From: "Torben Scheel" <[email hidden]>

    Quoted message said:

    What's the matter with you, girl ?? Isn't it enough to fantasize about white beard santa's on
    LWB's with big smiles and distant look in the eyes?

    Shame on you!

    Us euro-style SWB recumbeteers on the other hand.. ;-)

    "Carol Cohen" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
    "]news:[email hidden]...

    Quoted message said:

    Oh, no! All my female fantasies of a beautiful dark wiry male racing cyclist with a face like the
    Armani model, gone, vanished, broken away. 🙁

    C.C.

  20. Lame joke or not, you'll ALWAYS be the middle aged poser to me 🙂

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