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The Birthday Party

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General fitness, health and nutrition
Published
7 October 2007
Last activity
26 October 2007
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Dave Smith
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71
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  1. Yesterday we hosted a family birthday party for my sister in law. She had
    offered to reimburse us for all the costs if he did it at our house. She
    even offered to pay for a cleaning lady, though we declined that part of the
    offer and did the cleanup ourselves. They were to bring wine. It worked
    out great. While it rained in the morning, it cleared up by mid afternoon
    and we were able to entertain on the patio.

    We started off with drinks and tortilla chips and salsa before going for a
    walk in the fields behind the house. When we got back we had smoked salmon
    on pumpernickel with capers sliced red onion. It was my home made smoked
    salmon and everyone raved over it. Then we had BBQed shrimp. After a short
    breather we BBQed strip steaks, which all turned out very nice, which was a
    bonus because I hate cooking steaks for other people. Sil did not want a
    cake but requested that I make ice cream, so we had ice cream and brownies.
    After dessert we had a selection of 5 cheeses from the new local cheese
    shop. After that, a big plate of chocolates.

    Food was great, the weather cooperated and everyone seemed to have a good
    time. My big fear was that this family includes the infamous big niece....
    the one who eats non-stop and who also goes snooping through my pantry and
    helps herself to whatever she finds, and that includes taking it upon
    herself to open new boxes. I had told my wife ahead of time to keep the
    niece out of the kitchen and, better yet, out of the house. We were
    somewhat successful there. The only problem was that she and her husband
    went to town to get some cheese while we went for the walk, and they
    returned before we did and she came out of the house with a fresh drink and
    munching on something.

    The rule of thumb when the big niece comes is that we have to prepare twice
    as much food. Since her mother was paying for everything I got lots I
    didn't care how much she ate..... as long as she didn't go snooping in my
    pantry.

    Towards the end of the evening the niece started getting obnoxious. She had
    had several Rye and gingerales and then started swilling wine, first the
    white wine with the salmon and shrimp and then red wine with dinner.... and
    dessert, and after dessert. Eventually her husband asked me to put the wine
    away because she was making an ass of herself. So she started eating
    more...... brownies, chocolate and cheese. She eventually ate herself sick.
    That surprised me. I thought she had a bottomless pit.

  2. "Dave Smith" <[email hidden]> schrieb im Newsbeitrag
    news:[email hidden]...

    Quoted message said:

    Yesterday we hosted a family birthday party for my sister in law.

    <snip lovely meal>

    Quoted message said:

    When we got back we had smoked salmon on pumpernickel with capers sliced red
    onion.

    Have you ever considered spreading a little sweet mustard
    (Weisswurstsenf) on the bread ? Then the salmon, plus
    the sliced onion ?

    Cheers,

    Michael Kuettner

  3. Michael Kuettner said:


    "

    Quoted message said:

    When we got back we had smoked salmon on pumpernickel with capers sliced red
    onion.

    Have you ever considered spreading a little sweet mustard
    (Weisswurstsenf) on the bread ? Then the salmon, plus
    the sliced onion ?

    I never even thought of it, but it sounds like a good idea.

  4. Dave Smith said:

    Towards the end of the evening the niece started getting obnoxious. She had
    had several Rye and gingerales and then started swilling wine, first the
    white wine with the salmon and shrimp and then red wine with dinner.... and
    dessert, and after dessert. Eventually her husband asked me to put the wine
    away because she was making an ass of herself. So she started eating
    more...... brownies, chocolate and cheese. She eventually ate herself sick.
    That surprised me. I thought she had a bottomless pit.

    Well, now you know that at least one person is capable of being
    embarrassed by her actions and she does have a food limit. Isn't it
    nice to not feel like you're going to blow a gasket after a family
    party? Maybe the secret to family parties at your house is to have
    your SIL pay for the food, so you can make enough to satisfy your
    niece.

    sf

    --
    See return address to reply by email

  5. sf said:


    Quoted message said:

    more...... brownies, chocolate and cheese. She eventually ate herself sick.
    That surprised me. I thought she had a bottomless pit.

    Well, now you know that at least one person is capable of being
    embarrassed by her actions and she does have a food limit. Isn't it
    nice to not feel like you're going to blow a gasket after a family
    party? Maybe the secret to family parties at your house is to have
    your SIL pay for the food, so you can make enough to satisfy your
    niece.

    That could be the secret, though it took a lot of food and drink to reach
    that limit. However, I also had to request that my wife to be on guard and
    not let the niece into the kitchen unguarded. It really bothers me that I
    have to be so wary of her rooting around in my pantry and helping herself
    to things in there, even opening sealed boxes when there is a buffet on the
    table. For the life of me I cannot understand any normal guest at a party
    sneaking off to the kitchen and opening a new box of something and cramming
    into her maw when the same thing or similar items are already on the table.

  6. Dave Smith said:

    For the life of me I cannot understand any normal guest at a party
    sneaking off to the kitchen and opening a new box of something and cramming
    into her maw when the same thing or similar items are already on the table.

    She has poor social skills, zero social judgment and probably some
    sort of disorder or syndrome as a cause.

    --
    See return address to reply by email

  7. One time on Usenet, "Dave Smith" <[email hidden]> said:

    <snip>

    Sounds like a nice party! Smoked salmon, BBQ shrimp & steaks. Why
    wasn't I invited? ;-)

    Quoted message said:

    Towards the end of the evening the niece started getting obnoxious. She had
    had several Rye and gingerales and then started swilling wine, first the
    white wine with the salmon and shrimp and then red wine with dinner.... and
    dessert, and after dessert. Eventually her husband asked me to put the wine
    away because she was making an ass of herself. So she started eating
    more...... brownies, chocolate and cheese. She eventually ate herself sick.
    That surprised me. I thought she had a bottomless pit.

    I remember hearing about your niece before, Dave. I have to wonder
    why someone close to her (your SIL or her husband, for example)
    doesn't suggest she go into therapy. She's not eating because she's
    hungry by any means. She's sick and needs help. That being said, I
    know that suggesting she seek help doesn't mean she'll do it, but
    I'm surprised they don't try. Or maybe they have..?

    --

    http://www.myspace.com/littlemalice

  8. Dave Smith said:
    sf said:
    Quoted message said:

    more...... brownies, chocolate and cheese. She eventually ate herself sick.
    That surprised me. I thought she had a bottomless pit.


    Well, now you know that at least one person is capable of being
    embarrassed by her actions and she does have a food limit. Isn't it
    nice to not feel like you're going to blow a gasket after a family
    party? Maybe the secret to family parties at your house is to have
    your SIL pay for the food, so you can make enough to satisfy your
    niece.

    That could be the secret, though it took a lot of food and drink to reach
    that limit. However, I also had to request that my wife to be on guard and
    not let the niece into the kitchen unguarded. It really bothers me that I
    have to be so wary of her rooting around in my pantry and helping herself
    to things in there, even opening sealed boxes when there is a buffet on the
    table. For the life of me I cannot understand any normal guest at a party
    sneaking off to the kitchen and opening a new box of something and cramming
    into her maw when the same thing or similar items are already on the table.

    Wow, is she still at that?

    She has an eating disorder and in her muddled mind if other people don't
    see her eating the food, it doesn't count. I used to have a very obese
    friend (clinically labeled "morbidly obese"😉. Every time she went to
    town to the grocery store she would buy an "extra" package of Oreos or
    dozen doughnuts and eat them by herself on the way home. This was a six
    mile trip, not a trek into the wilderness. It's a mental illness.

    gloria p

  9. Dave Smith said:
    Michael Kuettner said:

    "

    Quoted message said:

    When we got back we had smoked salmon on pumpernickel with capers sliced red
    onion.


    Have you ever considered spreading a little sweet mustard
    (Weisswurstsenf) on the bread ? Then the salmon, plus
    the sliced onion ?

    I never even thought of it, but it sounds like a good idea.

    Cream cheese, plain or with chives, is a good addition, too.

    gloria p

  10. In article <[email hidden]>,

    Dave Smith said:

    Yesterday we hosted a family birthday party for my sister in law.


    <snipped>

    Other than the last part, it sounds like fun. :-)
    --
    Peace, Om

    Remove both _ (underscores) to validate gmail e-mails.

    "Human nature seems to be to control other people until they put their foot down." -- Steve Rothstein

  11. sf said:
    Dave Smith said:

    For the life of me I cannot understand any normal guest at a party
    sneaking off to the kitchen and opening a new box of something and cramming
    into her maw when the same thing or similar items are already on the table.

    She has poor social skills, zero social judgment and probably some
    sort of disorder or syndrome as a cause.


    I've always been shocked when reading Dave's description of this niece
    and her habits. Anytime he writes about family parties I know she'll
    shock me again! She sounded pretty tame this time actually?
    I wonder if she'd be embarrassed or shamed into behaving better if she
    had any idea of how people (or at least Dave and wife) saw her?

  12. Goomba38 said:


    sf said:
    Dave Smith said:

    For the life of me I cannot understand any normal guest at a party
    sneaking off to the kitchen and opening a new box of something and cramming
    into her maw when the same thing or similar items are already on the table.

    She has poor social skills, zero social judgment and probably some
    sort of disorder or syndrome as a cause.


    I've always been shocked when reading Dave's description of this niece
    and her habits. Anytime he writes about family parties I know she'll
    shock me again! She sounded pretty tame this time actually?
    I wonder if she'd be embarrassed or shamed into behaving better if she
    had any idea of how people (or at least Dave and wife) saw her?

    I wonder how accurate his description is.
    Remember, we're only getting one view, and
    it's Dave's view. When I recollect the saga
    of the woman in front of him in line, I tend
    to think that we should not accept his description
    at face value.

    I'd suggest the niece has grounds for a lawsuit.

  13. On Sun, 07 Oct 2007 18:14:42 -0400, Goomba38 <[email hidden]>

    Quoted message said:

    I've always been shocked when reading Dave's description of this niece
    and her habits. Anytime he writes about family parties I know she'll
    shock me again! She sounded pretty tame this time actually?
    I wonder if she'd be embarrassed or shamed into behaving better if she
    had any idea of how people (or at least Dave and wife) saw her?

    Only momentarily. People like that aren't sorry until they are caught
    and repremanded.

    --
    See return address to reply by email

  14. Goomba38 said:
    Quoted message said:

    She has poor social skills, zero social judgment and probably some
    sort of disorder or syndrome as a cause.


    I've always been shocked when reading Dave's description of this niece
    and her habits. Anytime he writes about family parties I know she'll
    shock me again! She sounded pretty tame this time actually?

    You're right. She was pretty tame this time. Her mother paid for the food,
    so I prepared lots, and they brought the wine. The only thing that I was
    worried about was the pantry raids, and I told my wife to make sure that
    she was responsible for keeping her niece out of the kitchen, with a very
    firm warning that if I caught her raiding the pantry I was definitely going
    to confront her.

    Quoted message said:

    I wonder if she'd be embarrassed or shamed into behaving better if she
    had any idea of how people (or at least Dave and wife) saw her?

    I have to wonder about her embarrassment. I don't know if she sneaks food
    because she is embarrassed to let people know how much she eats or if it is
    some sort of game she plays, sort of like shoplifting for cheap thrills.
    And I am not talking about helping herself to a glass of milk or an piece
    of fruit. I am talking about opening boxes of cookies and crackers in the
    pantry, even when there is already ample food laid out on the table. This
    is the girl who showed up unexpected at the home of her step sister who was
    expecting guests for dinner and ate all the food before the invited guests
    arrived.

  15. Mark Thorson said:
    Quoted message said:

    I wonder how accurate his description is.
    Remember, we're only getting one view, and
    it's Dave's view. When I recollect the saga
    of the woman in front of him in line, I tend
    to think that we should not accept his description
    at face value.

    You think I am exaggerating? Send me your address and I will extend an
    invitation to her for dinner at your house.
    :-)

    Quoted message said:

    I'd suggest the niece has grounds for a lawsuit.

    She'd settle out of court for a dozen donuts.

  16. Dave Smith said:
    sf said:


    Quoted message said:

    more...... brownies, chocolate and cheese. She eventually ate
    herself sick. That surprised me. I thought she had a bottomless pit.

    Well, now you know that at least one person is capable of being
    embarrassed by her actions and she does have a food limit. Isn't it
    nice to not feel like you're going to blow a gasket after a family
    party? Maybe the secret to family parties at your house is to have
    your SIL pay for the food, so you can make enough to satisfy your
    niece.

    That could be the secret, though it took a lot of food and drink to
    reach that limit. However, I also had to request that my wife to be
    on guard and not let the niece into the kitchen unguarded. It really
    bothers me that I have to be so wary of her rooting around in my
    pantry and helping herself to things in there, even opening sealed
    boxes when there is a buffet on the table. For the life of me I
    cannot understand any normal guest at a party sneaking off to the
    kitchen and opening a new box of something and cramming into her maw
    when the same thing or similar items are already on the table.

    It's just plain rude, Dave, but then you know that already. She obviously
    doesn't care what you think or how you feel. I would suggest installing a
    keyed lock on the pantry door. When the neice is going to be in attendance,
    lock it the door and hide the key in your bedroom. Then be prepared to snap
    a photo of the look of surprise on her face when the door won't open. 😉

    Jill

  17. Mark Thorson said:
    Goomba38 said:


    sf said:

    On Sun, 07 Oct 2007 15:43:32 -0400, Dave Smith
    <[email hidden]> wrote:

    > For the life of me I cannot understand any normal guest at a party
    > sneaking off to the kitchen and opening a new box of something and
    > cramming into her maw when the same thing or similar items are
    > already on the table.

    She has poor social skills, zero social judgment and probably some
    sort of disorder or syndrome as a cause.


    I've always been shocked when reading Dave's description of this
    niece and her habits. Anytime he writes about family parties I know
    she'll shock me again! She sounded pretty tame this time actually?
    I wonder if she'd be embarrassed or shamed into behaving better if
    she had any idea of how people (or at least Dave and wife) saw her?

    I wonder how accurate his description is.
    Remember, we're only getting one view, and
    it's Dave's view. When I recollect the saga
    of the woman in front of him in line, I tend
    to think that we should not accept his description
    at face value.


    I have been reading about her "exploits" for a number of years. I don't
    think Dave exaggerates.

    Quoted message said:

    I'd suggest the niece has grounds for a lawsuit.

    What grounds? That he won't allow her unlimited grazing through his pantry?
    That's just silly!

    Jill

  18. jmcquown said:


    It's just plain rude, Dave, but then you know that already. She obviously
    doesn't care what you think or how you feel. I would suggest installing a
    keyed lock on the pantry door. When the neice is going to be in attendance,
    lock it the door and hide the key in your bedroom. Then be prepared to snap
    a photo of the look of surprise on her face when the door won't open. 😉

    I think that the sad thing is that she really doesn't care. I had to zip
    my lip the other day when she was telling me how much she admires me
    because of my interest in cooking and my culinary skills and how it is her
    passion. Obsession would be more accurate.

    Putting a lock on the panty would be difficult because it is a long shallow
    closet with a set of bifold doors and it would lead me to explain why I
    lock it. I should be able to just confront the woman and tell her to stay
    the hell of of my pantry and out of my fridge..... and while she is at
    it..... park her fat ass away from the buffet so that someone else can get
    to the table and find some food. It is a pain in the ass to spend hours
    preparing for a family gathering and then have her show up early and
    proceed to eat up everything there before the others arrive. I don't want
    to have to put things out a bit at a time. I would prefer to spend time
    with the rest of the guests. I don't have an extra fridge and room to keep
    the stuff, and I should not have to.

    This past event was organized a little differently. She and her husband
    showed up a little earlier than others. We kept them outside talking until
    the others showed up. Then I herded everyone out to the patio and escorted
    her to the seat in the corner so that it would be too much effort for her
    to get out and past everyone else. After our walk in the back I brought
    out one thing at a time, made sure that she got some and then placed it at
    the less crowded end of the table, passing it to her whenever she asked,
    but not leaving anything close enough that she could scarf it back before
    the others had some.

    Personally, I would prefer not to have her in my house, but it was a family
    party, and in honour of her mother's birthday. We never invite her and her
    husband on their own, have excuses prepared in case they try to invite
    themselves. We no longer have family Christmas parties here because my
    stand was that if we had to invite her we weren't having it.

    I know that she has a problem. It is not my problem. her mother knows she
    has a problem. She is 48 <?>. She thinks of herself as a BBW, not the FFS
    the rest of us see her as.

  19. Mark Thorson said:
    Goomba38 said:
    sf said:

    On Sun, 07 Oct 2007 15:43:32 -0400, Dave Smith
    <[email hidden]> wrote:

    Quoted message said:
    Quoted message said:

    > For the life of me I cannot understand any normal guest at a party
    > sneaking off to the kitchen and opening a new box of something and cramming
    > into her maw when the same thing or similar items are already on the table.

    Quoted message said:
    Quoted message said:

    She has poor social skills, zero social judgment and probably some
    sort of disorder or syndrome as a cause.

    Quoted message said:

    I've always been shocked when reading Dave's description of this niece
    and her habits. Anytime he writes about family parties I know she'll
    shock me again! She sounded pretty tame this time actually?
    I wonder if she'd be embarrassed or shamed into behaving better if she
    had any idea of how people (or at least Dave and wife) saw her?

    I wonder how accurate his description is.
    Remember, we're only getting one view, and
    it's Dave's view. When I recollect the saga
    of the woman in front of him in line, I tend
    to think that we should not accept his description
    at face value.

    I'd suggest the niece has grounds for a lawsuit.- Hide quoted text -

    - Show quoted text -

    Mark - You and I know, that is a gawd awful thought! Unfortunately
    the internet is in it's Wild Wild West days, with newsgroups being the
    most wild of all. However, Dave should preface his statements with a
    comment like, "One of our neighbors who had dropped by, told me such
    and such about my neice, but I don't really remember who that neighbor
    was, because I was drinking too." Afterall, it appears third party
    libel is protected on the internet, and if you claim to be too drunk
    to remember what neighbor told you, then the neighbor is protected
    too!

    Alas, the internet - it will be awhile, before it is tamed and
    civilized like the rest of society - if it ever is at all;-)

  20. Dave Smith said:

    She'd settle out of court for a dozen donuts.

    LOL

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