Tell me why

:
: Someday, when all college tuitions are paid, my daughters wedding is
: over (and paid for) and my kids move out of the house. I think I will
: retire and do whatever I damn well please.
:
: I forget what it feels like to have only myself to think about. To do
: what I want, when I want.
:
: It's all good.

I think you've overlooked something, Ms. Sandwich Generation....

Just as soon as the kids are out of the house, you start worrying about YOUR
parents!
Your mother who has decided she "doesn't need to eat" or decides "I can eat
whatever I want!" and winds up in the hospital for 4 days from self-induced
malnutrition.....or decides to go outside in an ice storm to see if the
outside water faucets are properly covered---and slips and falls and splits
her head open...or who rams her car into someone else's car because she
"mistook the accelerator for the brake pedal"...or your mother-in-law who
has a stroke but refuses to let the ambulance EMTs take her to the hospital
and is found on her bathroom floor 7 hours later, unable to get up....

Oh, yes, your worries will never be over. You will never have only yourself
to think about. You are now in the Sandwich Generation.

Pat in TX

I learned a lot of stuff from my dad, once I got old enough to realize
that he actually had a lot of common sense. His attitude was that you
make your own mood and ought not to let the weather or other people have
that much influence over it.

Now, I might have to work a lot harder at this if I lived where some of
you live, but since starting back riding I have tried to take the
approach that every day is a good day to ride and the nice days are just
a bonus. Also, since some of you ride every day up in the far north, I
realize that I don't have a heckuva lot to complain about.

Maggie said:

It has been a beautiful week in Jersey. The sun shining, the birds
singing, the all the trees are starting to bloom. Now the weekend is
upon us and it is going to rain. Go figure.

For those of us who do the 8-5 Monday through Friday....we anticipate
the weekend. Why is it going to rain on my parade this weekend?
Doesn't the universe know I need to train for an upcoming ride in May?
I'm still afraid to ride in the rain. I am quite positive I will end
up in the ER.

I'm not afraid to ride in the rain....I've tried it several times now and I
don't like it, so I don't do it.

Since you're an 8-to-5er, you'll have to start getting in some miles after
work. I know, that ain't easy with the bottom piece of bread, but if you
plan well on the weekend they can still eat something.

I do feel your pain, though, as the rain cramps my plans, too. I plan to
try to get out there either ahead of it or behind it...and ride as long as I
can.

The 25 mile ride is something you can fight your way though. Just break it
up into pieces - say 5 mile chunks - and handle each one separately. Don't
be afraid to get off the bike, stop for a few, when you feel the need. Go at
your own pace and you're do just fine. Believe me.

Pat wrote:>

Quoted message said:

Just as soon as the kids are out of the house, you start worrying

about YOUR

Quoted message said:

parents!
Your mother who has decided she "doesn't need to eat" or decides "I

can eat

Quoted message said:

whatever I want!" and winds up in the hospital for 4 days from

self-induced

Quoted message said:

malnutrition.....or decides to go outside in an ice storm to see if

the

Quoted message said:

outside water faucets are properly covered---and slips and falls and

splits

Quoted message said:

her head open...or who rams her car into someone else's car because

she

Quoted message said:

"mistook the accelerator for the brake pedal"...or your mother-in-law

who

Quoted message said:

has a stroke but refuses to let the ambulance EMTs take her to the

hospital

Quoted message said:

and is found on her bathroom floor 7 hours later, unable to get

up....

Quoted message said:

Oh, yes, your worries will never be over. You will never have only

yourself

Quoted message said:

to think about. You are now in the Sandwich Generation.

Pat in TX

Gee Pat, Thanks for reminding me. My father is 85 and my mother is 84.
Being a part of the sandwich generation is great isn't it.... ;-)

I keep telling my husband that as soon as the last kid finishes
college, I will be taking care of my parents. Our generation has kids
who stay at home longer than we ever did, and parents who live long
lives. Here we are right in the middle.....always taking care of
someone.

Right now, at long last, we have a spare room since my oldest son moved
out, but I know one of my parents will be in it eventually. Spare
rooms never seem to stay empty long in my house.

I already went through taking care of the in-laws. My father in law
died of cancer at 85 (never went into the hospital, died during the
night) and my mother in law lived with us until she had to go into a
nursing home. She was "wandering" and impossible to deal with when my
father-in-law died. At the time my daughter was away in college and my
sons doubled up in one of the bedrooms. So I know of this sandwich
situation very well. We have always had a full house. Over full I
think.

Kids live at home into their late twenties now, our parents get into
their 80's when the kids leave. I know I will never be a person who is
free to do what I please, when I please. I'll be taking care of people
forever. I'll probably be taking care of grandchildren too. Makes life
interesting I guess.

Thanks for bring me back to earth.

It's all good.
Maggie

Maggie said:

Pat wrote:>

Quoted message said:

Just as soon as the kids are out of the house, you start worrying

about YOUR

Quoted message said:

parents!
Your mother who has decided she "doesn't need to eat" or decides "I

can eat

Quoted message said:

whatever I want!" and winds up in the hospital for 4 days from

self-induced

Quoted message said:

malnutrition.....or decides to go outside in an ice storm to see if

the

Quoted message said:

outside water faucets are properly covered---and slips and falls and

splits

Quoted message said:

her head open...or who rams her car into someone else's car because

she

Quoted message said:

"mistook the accelerator for the brake pedal"...or your mother-in-law

who

Quoted message said:

has a stroke but refuses to let the ambulance EMTs take her to the

hospital

Quoted message said:

and is found on her bathroom floor 7 hours later, unable to get

up....

Quoted message said:

Oh, yes, your worries will never be over. You will never have only

yourself

Quoted message said:

to think about. You are now in the Sandwich Generation.

Pat in TX

Gee Pat, Thanks for reminding me. My father is 85 and my mother is 84.
Being a part of the sandwich generation is great isn't it.... ;-)

I keep telling my husband that as soon as the last kid finishes
college, I will be taking care of my parents. Our generation has kids
who stay at home longer than we ever did, and parents who live long
lives. Here we are right in the middle.....always taking care of
someone.

Right now, at long last, we have a spare room since my oldest son moved
out, but I know one of my parents will be in it eventually. Spare
rooms never seem to stay empty long in my house.

Is this really a new concept???? Look at many small towns, a couple
stopped there and started a family farm, then their children built on
the family farm, and the grandchildren often spent time and the
grandparents house, when the kids were older, grandma and grandpa moved
in with one of the older children..... Others stopped at the
settlement, and a town formed. Often such towns bear the Sirname of the
original family. I have a cousin who's home has an in-law apartment
which was installed when the house was built well over 100 years ago.

I think it was in the 1950's that the concept of children moving a long
way from home, originated, as the economic boom of the late 20th century
ended, children making smaller incomes are staying closer to home again.
I live less then 300 km from my mothers original family home. My wife
is less then 20km from where she grew up. In many countries outside
North America, you often end up with families all having either homes
near each other or even in the same apartment building.....

W

Quoted message said:

I already went through taking care of the in-laws. My father in law
died of cancer at 85 (never went into the hospital, died during the
night) and my mother in law lived with us until she had to go into a
nursing home. She was "wandering" and impossible to deal with when my
father-in-law died. At the time my daughter was away in college and my
sons doubled up in one of the bedrooms. So I know of this sandwich
situation very well. We have always had a full house. Over full I
think.

Kids live at home into their late twenties now, our parents get into
their 80's when the kids leave. I know I will never be a person who is
free to do what I please, when I please. I'll be taking care of people
forever. I'll probably be taking care of grandchildren too. Makes life
interesting I guess.

Thanks for bring me back to earth.

It's all good.
Maggie

Roger Zoul said:

The 25 mile ride is something you can fight your way though. Just

break it

Quoted message said:

up into pieces - say 5 mile chunks - and handle each one separately.

Don't

Quoted message said:

be afraid to get off the bike, stop for a few, when you feel the

need. Go at

Quoted message said:

your own pace and you're do just fine. Believe me.

People keep telling me that most charity rides are fun. So I am trying
to believe it. It's not like its the TdF or something. Its alot of
people, of all ages, trying to raise money. I'll find a newbie like me
and ride with he or she. I am not shy, so I know I will be annoying
enough people to find a few friends. ;-) My daughter tells me I seem
to make an "ENTRANCE" wherever I go with my big mouth and crazy
personality.

It's all good,
Maggie

22 Apr 2005 03:11:34 -0700,
<[email hidden]>,

Maggie said:

It has been a beautiful week in Jersey. The sun shining, the birds
singing, the all the trees are starting to bloom. Now the weekend is
upon us and it is going to rain. Go figure.

For those of us who do the 8-5 Monday through Friday....we anticipate
the weekend. Why is it going to rain on my parade this weekend?
Doesn't the universe know I need to train for an upcoming ride in May?

So, you have been riding to work everyday, right?

Rain generally doesn't last all day. There will likely be two hours
without rain in which you can ride 25 miles.
--
zk

Zoot Katz said:

22 Apr 2005 03:11:34 -0700,
<[email hidden]>,

Maggie said:

It has been a beautiful week in Jersey. The sun shining, the birds
singing, the all the trees are starting to bloom. Now the weekend

is

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

upon us and it is going to rain. Go figure.

For those of us who do the 8-5 Monday through Friday....we

anticipate

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

the weekend. Why is it going to rain on my parade this weekend?
Doesn't the universe know I need to train for an upcoming ride in

May?

Quoted message said:

So, you have been riding to work everyday, right? --
zk

I have to confess, I have not been riding on days when I have to dress
for meetings. I just feel too icky when I get here. I am dressed up
today....so I took the car. I have to tell the truth. Only on days I
get wear casual clothes do I ride. :-)

It's all Good,
Maggie...hates feeling icky.

The Wogster wrote:
I live less then 300 km from my mothers original family home. My
wife

Quoted message said:

is less then 20km from where she grew up. In many countries outside
North America, you often end up with families all having either homes

Quoted message said:

near each other or even in the same apartment building.....

W

Well, my parents live in the same town as me, my in-laws lived in the

same town when they were alive, when my son moved out he moved 10
minutes away and comes home every night for dinner. My daughter is
going to get an apartment in a town when she get married and told me
she is never going to live far from me, and my youngest son wanted to
go to a college close to home so he could live home. So I figure I
will be surrounded by them until I die. They don't seem to want to go
far away. I was out of my house at 18. I couldn't wait to leave and be
on my own. Then I was married by 20.

I think if the tide turns and the extended family becomes important
again, its probably a good thing. My niece had to move out to Nevada
and she is there with her husband and kids with no extended family at
all. It's difficult for her. Especially around the holidays. We are
all going there to celebrate her daughters first holy communion in May,
but how many times can we all fly across the United States for long
weekends. I went there for Thanksgiving just so she could have some
family around.

It's all good,
Maggie

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

I already went through taking care of the in-laws. My father in

law

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

died of cancer at 85 (never went into the hospital, died during the
night) and my mother in law lived with us until she had to go into

a

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

nursing home. She was "wandering" and impossible to deal with when

my

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

father-in-law died. At the time my daughter was away in college

and my

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

sons doubled up in one of the bedrooms. So I know of this sandwich
situation very well. We have always had a full house. Over full I
think.

Kids live at home into their late twenties now, our parents get

into

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

their 80's when the kids leave. I know I will never be a person who

is

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

free to do what I please, when I please. I'll be taking care of

people

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

forever. I'll probably be taking care of grandchildren too. Makes

life

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

interesting I guess.

Thanks for bring me back to earth.

It's all good.
Maggie

The Wogster wrote:
I live less then 300 km from my mothers original family home. My
wife

Quoted message said:

is less then 20km from where she grew up. In many countries outside
North America, you often end up with families all having either homes

Quoted message said:

near each other or even in the same apartment building.....

W

Well, my parents live in the same town as me, my in-laws lived in the

same town when they were alive, when my son moved out he moved 10
minutes away and comes home every night for dinner. My daughter is
going to get an apartment in a town when she get married and told me
she is never going to live far from me, and my youngest son wanted to
go to a college close to home so he could live home. So I figure I
will be surrounded by them until I die. They don't seem to want to go
far away. I was out of my house at 18. I couldn't wait to leave and be
on my own. Then I was married by 20.

I think if the tide turns and the extended family becomes important
again, its probably a good thing. My niece had to move out to Nevada
and she is there with her husband and kids with no extended family at
all. It's difficult for her. Especially around the holidays. We are
all going there to celebrate her daughters first holy communion in May,
but how many times can we all fly across the United States for long
weekends. I went there for Thanksgiving just so she could have some
family around.

It's all good,
Maggie

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

I already went through taking care of the in-laws. My father in

law

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

died of cancer at 85 (never went into the hospital, died during the
night) and my mother in law lived with us until she had to go into

a

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

nursing home. She was "wandering" and impossible to deal with when

my

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

father-in-law died. At the time my daughter was away in college

and my

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

sons doubled up in one of the bedrooms. So I know of this sandwich
situation very well. We have always had a full house. Over full I
think.

Kids live at home into their late twenties now, our parents get

into

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

their 80's when the kids leave. I know I will never be a person who

is

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

free to do what I please, when I please. I'll be taking care of

people

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

forever. I'll probably be taking care of grandchildren too. Makes

life

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

interesting I guess.

Thanks for bring me back to earth.

It's all good.
Maggie

22 Apr 2005 11:44:38 -0700,
<[email hidden]>, "Maggie"

Quoted message said:

I have to confess, I have not been riding on days when I have to dress
for meetings. I just feel too icky when I get here. I am dressed up
today....so I took the car. I have to tell the truth. Only on days I
get wear casual clothes do I ride. :-)

You aren't "confessing" anything. The ltruth has always been there
between the lines. You've been kidding yourself, not me.
--
zk

Zoot Katz said:

You aren't "confessing" anything. The ltruth has always been there
between the lines. You've been kidding yourself, not me.
--
zk

I never said.....I AM RIDING EVERY SINGLE DAY. I ride when I can.
That is the truth. Why am I kidding myself? Am I going to get another
Jeff speech about how I am not dedicated to anything? I can't take
it. Please.

I ride at least twice a week. Thats good. And I ride on the weekends.
I never said I was Lance like.....I am an woman who bought a bike and
trying to ride 25 miles on May 22nd. And I will damn well do it too.
I will make that 25. I will Mr. Zoot. I am determined.

It's all good,
Maggie. Rides at least two days a week to work.

Maggie said:

Roger Zoul said:

The 25 mile ride is something you can fight your way though. Just

break it

Quoted message said:

up into pieces - say 5 mile chunks - and handle each one separately.

Don't

Quoted message said:

be afraid to get off the bike, stop for a few, when you feel the

need. Go at

Quoted message said:

your own pace and you're do just fine. Believe me.

People keep telling me that most charity rides are fun. So I am trying
to believe it. It's not like its the TdF or something. Its alot of
people, of all ages, trying to raise money. I'll find a newbie like me
and ride with he or she. I am not shy, so I know I will be annoying
enough people to find a few friends. ;-) My daughter tells me I seem
to make an "ENTRANCE" wherever I go with my big mouth and crazy
personality.

Oh yeah...I'd gladly ride with you. On my second ride of this type I
paired up with this lady who had just bought her bike the night before -
and she didn't even know how to work the shifters! The poor lady would
go so SLOWLY up a hill that it was painful to think about....I'd get to
the top and wait there for her...and when she got to the top she'd fly
by...and then I'd have to catch up. We averaged 9 mph over 35 miles!
However, I learned her life story (family, places they had lived, etc.)
on that ride and found out that she lives not far from me (this ride was
in another city that we both had to drive about 50 miles to.).

It is not the TdF (though some do like to think it is) and you'll enjoy it.

Maggie said:

Zoot Katz said:

You aren't "confessing" anything. The ltruth has always been there
between the lines. You've been kidding yourself, not me.
--
zk

I never said.....I AM RIDING EVERY SINGLE DAY. I ride when I can.
That is the truth. Why am I kidding myself? Am I going to get
another Jeff speech about how I am not dedicated to anything? I
can't take it. Please.

I ride at least twice a week. Thats good. And I ride on the
weekends. I never said I was Lance like.....I am an woman who bought
a bike and trying to ride 25 miles on May 22nd. And I will damn well
do it too. I will make that 25. I will Mr. Zoot. I am determined.

I don't ride everyday either. So what? It's not required to make 25 miles,
anyway. All you need right now is some confidence that will be gained by
having more actually riding opportunities that get realized. No worries.

22 Apr 2005 12:58:28 -0700,
<[email hidden]>,

Maggie said:

I ride at least twice a week. Thats good. And I ride on the weekends.
I never said I was Lance like.....I am an woman who bought a bike and
trying to ride 25 miles on May 22nd. And I will damn well do it too.
I will make that 25. I will Mr. Zoot. I am determined.

The doctor okayed soft pedalling a stationary bike to improve
flexibility while the swelling diminishes. I asked him about that when
it came up that I don't walk anywhere, I ride.

Right now, I envy anyone who rides two miles, so gloat.
--
zk

In article <[email hidden]>,

Zoot Katz said:

Right now, I envy anyone who rides two miles, so gloat.

If I can swing it, I'll attend this month's Critical Mass
ride in your honour.

cheers,
Tom

--
-- Nothing is safe from me.
Above address is just a spam midden.
I'm really at: tkeats [curlicue] vcn [point] bc [point] ca

Riding in the rain is great fun. Some of my most fun rides have been in a
driving rain-storm, usually because i got caught unprepared. One particular
one was in the hills of Glacier National Park. When you are caught in that
situation, my experience is to just laugh and have fun.

Of course, if cold, the whole experience changes. But it likely didn't kill
ya so see laugh above...

Bartow
"Zoot Katz" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

22 Apr 2005 03:11:34 -0700,
<[email hidden]>,

Maggie said:

It has been a beautiful week in Jersey. The sun shining, the birds
singing, the all the trees are starting to bloom. Now the weekend is
upon us and it is going to rain. Go figure.

For those of us who do the 8-5 Monday through Friday....we anticipate
the weekend. Why is it going to rain on my parade this weekend?
Doesn't the universe know I need to train for an upcoming ride in May?

So, you have been riding to work everyday, right?

Rain generally doesn't last all day. There will likely be two hours
without rain in which you can ride 25 miles.
--
zk

Zoot Katz <[email hidden]> wrote in
news:[email hidden]:

Quoted message said:

22 Apr 2005 12:58:28 -0700,
<[email hidden]>,

Maggie said:

I ride at least twice a week. Thats good. And I ride on the
weekends.
I never said I was Lance like.....I am an woman who bought a bike
and
trying to ride 25 miles on May 22nd. And I will damn well do it
too. I will make that 25. I will Mr. Zoot. I am determined.

The doctor okayed soft pedalling a stationary bike to improve
flexibility while the swelling diminishes. I asked him about that
when it came up that I don't walk anywhere, I ride.

Right now, I envy anyone who rides two miles, so gloat.

Today 40k commute with my son in the AM and then later a ride with my
buddy from Dunbar to Horseshoe Bay with a small detour up Eagle Ridge
drive. Lunch at HSB then back along Marine Drive to 22nd, up there to
the Upper Levels, off at Cypress and up Cypress (still snow in the
trees) to the power lines then home. Sorry to do that to you.

You are not telling the real story, Maggie. Tell us the real story.
you are hiding something you can't say. I think it's way too personal
to talk about it. if you can't talk
about it, don't even start it. I will give you simply example. You said
the memory is
the last about familyline. No it is not the memory. It's the
abomination. The abomination
carried within family and bloodline. That is the last last to
generation. Have a children
in other word is a sin because you allow the adomination to carry on.
Bible talks about
this. The sin of unseen manifest by the Dark Angel Lucifer. the life
is naturally a sin
maniffested by the evil and as well as good. That is the part of the
deal you don't' wanna admit.

You are alone and you are struggling that's the natural. Only divine
one can stand
alone. No matter how much you said you are happy and good you will come
short
to the perfect divine spirit. You are made up of fresh and blood you
are paying the price of being such one.

What you said is like "I'm sorry to be a human!" But that's OK. That's
how the thing is.