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Sunday's ride

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rec.sport.unicycling archive
Published
4 May 2004
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8 May 2004
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Mikefule
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  1. Sunday morning, bright and clear... I decide to take the
    MUni up into Debyshire. I drive up to Black Rocks, Cromford,
    and set off along the High Peak Trail - an old railway
    trackbed converted into a cycling and walking route.

    A short distance up the trail is My Own Personal Everest
    (MOPE). This is a long 1:7 (14%) incline with a surface
    which varies from compacted mud and grit to loose gravel
    to rough bedrock. When it was a railway, the waggons had
    to be hauled up on a cable pulkled by a massive static
    engine at the top. My best ever effort was to ride up MOPE
    in 3 stages, on a 24 with 150s. Today, I'm on the 26 x 2.3
    with 150s.

    How do you assess the difficulty of a ride when describing
    it to others? It's so subjective. There are so many
    variables. Let's put it this way: a few days ago, I did well
    over 2 hours and well over 20 miles on the Coker without a
    dismount or UPD. I don't lack stamina, determination,
    technique or concentration. However, I doubt I will ever
    climb MOPE without a stop - unless I "cheat" and do it on a
    20 with 150s.

    I set up MOPE with vigour and enthusiasm... with
    hindsight, far too much of both. By about a third of the
    way, I'm breathing so deeply that the trees keep swaying
    towards me, and old people have to cling to their hats to
    stop them being ripped from their heads and drawn into my
    tortured lungs.

    I get flustered on one of the uneven sections and UPD. I
    take the opportunity to regain my composure. This is the
    most technically demanding section, so I'm still in with a
    chance of doing the hill "in two".

    Yeah, right! And the Pope never goes to church. After a
    third of the rest of the way, I'm so out of breath that I
    step off the unicycle and throw myself onto the verge in
    despair. It takes me a long time to recover.

    Part way up the hill, I meet a pair of volunteers who are
    doing minor repairs to the trail. One steps across in front
    of me with his spade and says, "I'll just move this stone
    for you." He flicks the tiniest of pebbles out of my way. I
    thank him.

    "How far are you going?" He asks. "To the top," I respond,
    through gritted teeth.

    Another UPD only fifty metres later, and this time, it takes
    me a couple of attempts to remount. Wherever I try, there's
    always a difficult bit
    (e.g. a discarded match stick) just too close for me to get
    my rhythm going in time.

    And then another UPD and two or three failed mounts. I'm
    overtaken by a couple of elderly pedestrians.

    Eventually, and with no feeling of achievement at all, I
    make it to the top.

    To put this into context: the first two or three times I
    attempted this hill, I turned back around half way up. This
    current attempt was probably my second best on the 26.
    Perhaps cruising up it (I exaggerate!) on the 24 has given
    me inflated expectations.

    Anyway, there's a small shop at the top, and I purchase
    Lucozade and a Snickers (the Bar formerly known as
    Marathon). It takes me a good 20 minutes to get myself back
    into a state fit to ride. My hands are trembling and I feel
    like I've been fencing all day with no food. As a former
    bicyclist, I've experienced the "Dreaded Knock", also known
    as "The Bonk" (before that meant something else!) and this
    is something different. It's like I've started digesting all
    next week's meals, only to find I haven't eaten them yet.

    Eventually, I remount and turn to ride back down the
    hill. The first few yards of my ride take me past the
    cycle hire shed, where whole families are getting ready
    to set of on mountain bike odysseys, still in that stage
    of excited anticipation before the grim reality of
    differing expectations, sulky children, and uncomfortable
    seats sets in.

    One witty hirer remarks, "Look... he hired that at
    half price!"

    As I reach the top of the hill, ready to descend, I see the
    notice that warns cyclists not to ride down the steep
    incline. I may well have pointed out before in this forum
    that INclines go UP, and DEclines happen after you hit 40.

    I make the whole descent in one. It takes a certain amount
    of care, but it's not too demanding. I then turn off towards
    the quarry, the scene of my chin splitting UPD of a few
    months ago. Will I have the courage to attempt the same
    obstacle? Or the sense to refrain? Both possibilities are
    left hanging because there is a huge family nearby having a
    picnic, and I really don't want to spend the next few
    minutes being the subject of loud and ironic commentary from
    the males in the group.

    I ride back to the car park, feeling a little disconsolate.
    The ride up MOPE has taken it out of me physically. There's
    not an awful lot nearby that I can play on, and there are
    far too many people about - who would have thought it on a
    Bank Holiday weekend? Don't they have a coast to go to?

    I decide to ride off into the woods a bit. The first stage
    takes me past a small flat grassy area where a group of
    people are playing in a slightly bored fashion with remote
    controlled cars. "Whizzz!" go the cars. Then they go,
    "Whizzz!" This is followed shortly by a "Whizzz!" This seems
    to be all that they do. One of the men tries to make it
    marginally more interesting by aiming his R/C toy at me and
    playing chicken. I'm tempted to run over the bloomin' thing,
    but I restrain myself.

    So, off into the woods, where I ride a challenging packed
    mud incline, weaving between or riding over a few roots and
    the odd stone. Soon I get to a bit that's too hard to ride,
    and I get off and push. I generally head up hill, half
    planning to ride the descent. I come to a slightly flatter
    smoother bit, remount and ride until I UPD for no good
    reason. Morale is getting low. I sit down for a while and
    listen to the birdsong and watch a rabbit. I decide the time
    has come to turn back, mentally and physically burned out.

    I ride most of the way back with only a couple of UPDs on
    the tricky sections. Only 3.76 miles covered - some of that
    walked - and I'm more beaten than I was after my 22 miler on
    Tuesday. Am I getting unfit, or did I just bite off more
    than I could chew? We'll see.

    --
    Mikefule - Roland Hope School of Unicycling

    Some days you're the fly; some days you're the windscreen. When you're
    the fly, you get to eat [censored].
    ------------------------------------------------------------------------
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  2. Mikefule said:

    How do you assess the difficulty of a ride when describing
    it to others? It's so subjective.

    One objective fact would help: how long is YOPE?

    Klaas Bil - Newsgroup Addict
    --
    Clearly a system of 1/14 and 1/16 is not decimal - Mikefule
    on the English weight system

  3. Klaas Bil said:

    * One objective fact would help: how long is YOPE? *

    Never measured it. It's signposted as a nominal 1:7 (14%)
    and I guess it's around 1/2 mile (0.8 km) long.

    --
    Mikefule - Roland Hope School of Unicycling

    Some days you're the fly; some days you're the windscreen. When you're
    the fly, you get to eat [censored].
    ------------------------------------------------------------------------
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  4. Mike, ironically enough you weren't the only one wheeler out
    around Black Rocks this weekend. Myself, James and Roland
    (all Derby Juggling Club folks) were out and about in the
    same region on Monday afternoon. Small world, eh? We
    discussed parking at the bottom of the incline and having a
    go at your 'Everest', but as we only had a couple of hours
    we thought that a play in the woods around Black Rocks
    themselves would be more fun (and less likely to cause us to
    black out). There are some great sections through the woods
    around the rocks and we rode up (and, I must admit, trudged
    on occasion) through these before making it up to the trig
    point and then descending, via some quite technical
    sections, back to the High Peak Trail. On a personal note,
    despite not nearly being able to ride everything, I was able
    to ride the majority of the route which pleased me no end
    (not quite up there with James or Roland yet, but maybe one
    day...). A good day out, but a shame we didn't bump into you
    - we've yet to meet another uni rider on our trips and it
    will be good when we do, if only to confirm that we're not
    alone! We did encounter quite a few Bank Holiday folks
    bumbling about as well and were struck with how some seemed
    to confuse a unicycle with a hearing aid - or at least that
    was the only conclusion we could come to when said people
    stand around twenty feet away and chat in very loud voices
    about how "they must be right idiots" or "what a stupid
    thing to do" or "he can't ride it properly" while you are
    trying to re-mount after UPD'ing on the flattest, smoothest
    section of the trail. Ho-hum.

    Anyway, I hope we meet on the trails soon, Gary

    --
    Gary.Kelsall - One of the BJC 2004 organisers
    ------------------------------------------------------------------------
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  5. Ha! The unicycle as a hearing aid!

    My tersest exchange ever, when riding:

    Man to child: "Look at that silly man. He's a silly man
    isn't he." Me to man: "Maybe, but I'm not deaf."

    And if you're going to be riding on my pathc, don't go and
    blow my cover by telling everyone how easy MOPE is. I'm 41
    you know. Show some respec'! 😉

    And talking of other unicyclists: someone out there owes me
    a pint of beer. My incredibly boring manager came up to me
    today for a talk (he's lonely) and said, "I thought of you
    yesterday..." (beats the time when he told me he'd had a
    bloomin' dream about me!:eek: ). He'd seen another
    unicyclist, somewhere near Bestwood Park in Nottingham.

    From the description (adult male, cycle helmet, backpack...)
    sounded suspiciously like Gary "Unicus".

    My boss is soooooooooooooooooooooooo boring. Someone out
    there owes me a pint. No, make that a brewery.😠

    --
    Mikefule - Roland Hope School of Unicycling

    Some days you're the fly; some days you're the windscreen. When you're
    the fly, you get to eat [censored].
    ------------------------------------------------------------------------
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  6. If it was monday that may well have been me. Ask him if the
    unicycle was orange if you want to be definate. I'm going
    there again sometime, it was quite good fun. Probably not
    for a while though, what with thse pesky exams that I really
    should have been revising for while I was throwing myself
    down hills on one wheel. Ah well, I'll get my priorities
    sorted some time, but Ive got too many other things going on
    to do that now.

    John

    --
    johnhimsworth - Falling off with style...

    What if the hokey cokey really is what it's all about?
    ------------------------------------------------------------------------
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  7. It's really nice to read a detailed account of someone's ride for a
    change, don't mind the tech questions, but it's great to sit back and
    just read a little story once in a while! I don't hink there are enough
    of them. I think Mikefule must be responsible for some of the best
    little unicycle anecdotes on the forum- hope it becomes a more regualar
    feature! 🙂

    --
    one wheeled stallion - Guerilla Unicyclist

    OWS

    "It's all in the mind, not the behind" -Mikefule
    ------------------------------------------------------------------------
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  8. I look for mikefule's accounts and always enjoy
    reading them!

    I too will be 41 in less than two weeks, and can
    sympathize with your worries about physical conditioning.
    Think of it this way though; if you've made it this far,
    you're on a roll!

    --
    elmer - uniimpaired

    "At 40 life begins...to show."
    ------------------------------------------------------------------------
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  9. you shouldn't ride on SUNDAY BECOZ ITS THE GODS DAY YOU
    BLOODY HERETIC!!!!!! BURN IN HELL!!!

    --
    Grogboy - wankspanner

    ------------------------------------------------
    with great power comes great responsibility.
    ------------------------------------------------------------------------
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  10. Hmmm. We'll take that one with a pinch of salt. The absence
    of an apostrophe gives us no clue as to whther the author is
    a monotheist or polytheist, so we have no data on which to
    base a rebuttal.

    --
    Mikefule - Roland Hope School of Unicycling

    Some days you're the fly; some days you're the windscreen. When you're
    the fly, you get to eat [censored].
    ------------------------------------------------------------------------
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  11. Lol! I was thinking the same thing!

    --
    one wheeled stallion - Guerilla Unicyclist

    OWS

    "It's all in the mind, not the behind" -Mikefule
    ------------------------------------------------------------------------
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  12. dude, sprechen sie englisch bitte 😠

    --
    Grogboy - wankspanner

    ------------------------------------------------
    with great power comes great responsibility.
    ------------------------------------------------------------------------
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  13. I have no proper training in my native language, but I did rank as a
    "grammar god" in the just conversation quiz a couple weeks back, so the
    way I (as a grammar god), see it is:

    If I were going to refer to a day belonging to a single god,
    I would use the wording "BECOZ ITS GODS DAY". If I wanted to
    refer to a day owned by multiple gods, I would say "BECOZ
    ITS THE GODS DAY". Since the latter was used, I feel secure
    in saying that the author is a polytheist, but there's more
    to consider.

    The author also used the phrase "YOU BLOODY HERETIC". While
    I'm sure the phrase is used elsewhere in the world, that use
    of the adjective "bloody" is mainly seen in British English.
    Therefore, I feel it is safe to assume that the author is a
    British Polytheist. Unfortunately, this gives way to further
    assumption...

    The only Polytheistic British religion that I am aware of is
    the Druids. Making me believe that the author must be a
    druid. However, to the best of my knowledge, the druids are
    all dead. Ergo, the author must be deceased.

    The poster declared the existence of multiple dieties, and
    as he is presumably posting from the afterlife, one has to
    believe that he is in a position to know the truth. In
    'another thread' (tinyurl.com3xeaq), Mikefule hinted
    that he might not exist in the way we expected. He might not
    even be alive.

    As someone who has read Mikefule's posts religiously for
    quite some time, I think that the answer is this - Mikefule
    is a diety, and he is making his posts from the afterlife
    (presumably because he loves us). One of the implecations of
    this is that the deceased poster mentioned at the start of
    this post was unaware that, as a god, Sunday was Mikefule's
    day, and it was perfectly acceptable for him to go riding.

    Blasphemically yours, Rob

    --
    wentz - Heh, Albatross is sorta blah, eh?

    Avatar inspired by 'this thread' (tinyurl.com2kmun) and 'this
    thread' (tinyurl.com3gsqo).
    ------------------------------------------------------------------------
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  14. Grogboy said:

    *you shouldn't ride on SUNDAY BECOZ ITS THE GODS DAY YOU
    BLOODY HERETIC!!!!!! BURN IN HELL!!! *

    Saturday is the sabbath GOD's holy day which is the 7th day
    of the week. It referse to work not a relaxing uni ride. But
    we do selabrate it on sunday, me and this kid at my church
    are trying to figure it out why its not on sunday, I guess
    I'll do a little research.

    --
    Tim - Stuck on wheel walking

    I got me a new summit for $191!
    ------------------------------------------------------------------------
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  15. Mikefule said:

    * From the description (adult male, cycle helmet,
    backpack...) sounded suspiciously like Gary "Unicus".*

    Not me. My uni's are awaiting spares from Roger, cranks for
    my 20" and I'm adding a brake to my MUni.

    Back riding soon though, we'll have to arange a ride for
    Nott's/Derby riders now there's a few.

    Cheers, Gary

    --
    unicus

    Every time I try to write my signature the pen slips on the monitor.
    ------------------------------------------------------------------------
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