Sterids at marathon

Quoted post said:

I want to write, i want to tell you about sterid use at boston. I lose
because first girl inject sterids to cheat. I be cheated, yes? I no
use, i get second? I also think she is man.
This wrong in USA, yes?

Jeļena, how about we discuss this over dinner? You're number one in
my book, and clearly 100% woman! Looks like the $15 Fung Wah Boston
to NYC buses are sold out until 4 PM, so better reserve ASAP; or hey,
since you just won a bundle of $$, spring for the Acela Express
train. I'll meet you at the station.

Quoted message said:

I want to write, i want to tell you about sterid use at boston. I lose
because first girl inject sterids to cheat. I be cheated, yes? I no
use, i get second? I also think she is man.
This wrong in USA, yes?

I agree 100% but you should be aware that the other person who replied to
you is a jewish mexican arab lesbian one-parent psychotic war veteran and
has nothing to offer you but his elegant moustache and a trailer in
Seattle. He doesn't believe in your plight Madame (or is it Mademoiselle?)
- he is just looking for some "Tush"(*)

Well OK, he is decent as a runner and a fine fellow, but just look at his
crappy chat-up lines and check out his wild running gear (I can provide
links) - I mean WTF?!

So the guy can cook, make drinks, work when he feels like it and has a
lovely sense of humour; but can he shag? Or speak Russian or something?

I bow before your sagacity. If I may be of any help in translating from
English to american, chère Madame (Mademoiselle?), I remain at your entire
disposal(**)

(*)ZZ Top
(**)$400/hour - I'm a consultant, for crispcakes

PS If you can talk to me about Albert Collins, Freddie King, BB King and
one or two white guys who were OK on guitar, I'll pay your flight to
Toulouse.

steve common said:

you should be aware that the other person who replied to you is
a jewish mexican arab lesbian one-parent psychotic war veteran

i.e. typical New Yorker

Quoted message said:

(**)$400/hour - I'm a consultant, for crispcakes

How long did your post take to compose? The one to which I'm
replying?

I'm considering whether to hire you to rewrite my dating site
profiles.

Quoted message said:

If you can talk to me about [...] Freddie King, BB King [...]
I'll pay your flight to Toulouse.

Spring for my flight and I'll tell you about Larry King. With a few
words of broken Russian and Spanish and Arabic sprinkled in, if you
wish. Actually the only things I remember in Arabic are "lick my
balls" and "my hand is in your ass" - but hey, if I can't work those
into a character sketch of Larry King, I don't deserve the free flight
do I?

On Apr 16, 5:53 pm, "Charlie Pendejo" <[email hidden]>

Quoted message said:

steve common said:

you should be aware that the other person who replied to you is
a jewish mexican arab lesbian one-parent psychotic war veteran

i.e. typical New Yorker

Quoted message said:

(**)$400/hour - I'm a consultant, for crispcakes

How long did your post take to compose? The one to which I'm
replying?

I'm considering whether to hire you to rewrite my dating site
profiles.

Quoted message said:

If you can talk to me about [...] Freddie King, BB King [...]
I'll pay your flight to Toulouse.

Spring for my flight and I'll tell you about Larry King. With a few
words of broken Russian and Spanish and Arabic sprinkled in, if you
wish. Actually the only things I remember in Arabic are "lick my
balls" and "my hand is in your ass" - but hey, if I can't work those
into a character sketch of Larry King, I don't deserve the free flight
do I?

Sorry guys, Lowtuc got inside track this one, they can very much
nicely speaking in same gibberish.

Charlie Pendejo said:

Spring for my flight and I'll tell you about Larry King. With a few
words of broken Russian and Spanish and Arabic sprinkled in, if you
wish. Actually the only things I remember in Arabic are "lick my
balls" and "my hand is in your ass" - but hey, if I can't work those
into a character sketch of Larry King, I don't deserve the free flight
do I?

How I wish you two'd get a room. A platonic room, mind you - one
where you just talk and talk and talk. And what I wouldn't give to be
a fly on the wall.

live! vicariously!

bluezfolk said:

Sorry guys, Lowtuc got inside track this one

Drat that Lowtuc!

What's a New York City pirate gotta do to get a date with a lovely
Latvian marathoner?

Charlie Pendejo <[email hidden]> wrote

Quoted message said:

What's a New York City pirate gotta do to get a date with a lovely
Latvian marathoner?

2:08

joe positive said:

How I wish you two'd get a room. A platonic room, mind you -

Is this like a frat thing? Tau-Iota-TauS and Beta-Upsilon-TauS or
something? We don't do that in Europe (except in Greece and Lancashire).

Quoted message said:

one where you just talk and talk and talk.

You realise this is tantamount to a sitcom scenario? Me and CP in a room
just talking would imply a whole season of Friends(*)-like television
whenever one of us wanted to post anything to you on here.

[I am probably Ross(**), God help me - Charlie gets to be Chandler :-> ]

I mean I fell in love with you first, but he didn't give a damn about
/bienséance/ and sent you some running shoes! How creepy can you get?
Should I send you my underpants now or what?

I'd check the records from all NYC (and state) mental institutions before
accepting any more "items" from this chap if I were you...

(*) Hey, we get the TV they give us here.
(**) I did the questionnaire on Grey's Anatomy website (go figure) and I
am Miranda Bailey. I took it as a compliment.

Charlie Pendejo said:

How long did your post take to compose? The one to which I'm
replying?

Cheeky monkey! I was smokin'! My wit haddeth no limits - though I did
think twice about putting "jewish" and "arab" in the same usenet post: I
know my arab friends understand my sense of humour, I'm pretty sure my
jewish friends wrote the script, already ;-) and my lesbian friends don't
give a [censored], but I wasn't sure that the christians would get it :-> or (6)

Quoted message said:

I'm considering whether to hire you to rewrite my dating site
profiles.

Don't hesitate! Refuse. I tried to fill in one of their forms and just got
[censored] around when they asked me the 60th question about my
astrological what-nots, without ever mentioning salary, penis dimensions
or G-spot capabilities (without GPS assistance).

Quoted message said:

Actually the only things I remember in Arabic are "lick my
balls" and "my hand is in your ass"

You sure know how to talk to a guy :-P

Quoted message said:

- but hey, if I can't work those
into a character sketch of Larry King, I don't deserve the free flight
do I?

Just get yer silly ass over to Europe and we'll run a marathon somewhere.
I promise not to try rip you off or shag you (well, not til you beg me :-)

joe positive said:

How I wish you two'd get a room. A platonic room, mind you - one
where you just talk and talk and talk. And what I wouldn't give to be
a fly on the wall.

Aw shucks.

And not that there's anything wrong with it - though I'm still
awaiting significant personal temptation to get frisky with any dude
other than myself - but I think you're right about the platonic part.

True, Steve's Anglo-Gallic savoir-faire, not to mention my own twenty-
first century metrosexuality, might be tough for most men to resist.
But I've calculated the odds of us both getting any kind of action on
the same day, and to within nine significant digits (no rounding) the
probability comes to precisely zero. Individually we're already long
shots; together we'd be mathematically unlayable if pumped full of
cialis and left in a bordello with a suitcase of cash.

So if, on any given day, only one (or far more likely, neither) of us
is gettin' any, we're certainly safe from each other. And, alas,
almost certainly from Jeļena P as well. Sigh.

But hell yeah, you're invited to our Plato's Retreat, ahem, I mean
platonic room. Are you kiddin'? INVITED?? It'd be the inaugural
meeting of the JoePoz Fan Club!

(In which case maybe Doug And Lance will sing the national anthem to
kick off the festivities, ala Kid 'n Play at some '90s NBA all star
game.)

Charlie Pendejo said:

But I've calculated the odds of us both getting any kind of action on
the same day, and to within nine significant digits (no rounding) the
probability comes to precisely zero. Individually we're already long
shots; together we'd be mathematically unlayable if pumped full of
cialis and left in a bordello with a suitcase of cash.

You're assuming those probabilities are independent though. What if they
aren't ? (-;

Reminds me of one of those Bayes law quant interview questions.

S'pose there's a 0.1% chance that Chucky gets some action, and a 0.2% chance
that Steve does (he's European, so he gets better odds)

S'pose there's a 60% chance that if Chucky got some action, Steve did too (-;

Steve got some action. What are the chances that Chucky got some ?

Cheers,
--
Elflord

Charlie Pendejo said:

together we'd be mathematically unlayable if pumped full of
cialis and left in a bordello with a suitcase of cash.

I'd like to think that it's more because we would be smart enough to
immediately split the cash and high-tail it to an airport to try get to
Tampa before the cialis wears off, rather any irreparable lack of Mojo :-)

Elflord said:

S'pose there's a 0.1% chance that Chucky gets some action, and a 0.2% chance
that Steve does (he's European, so he gets better odds)

I have grey-blue-green(*) eyes and wear Dim underwear too, does that not
hoik me up to 0.3%?

Quoted message said:

S'pose there's a 60% chance that if Chucky got some action, Steve did too (-;

That way round is nice, CP does the leg work and I just sit waiting to
score off the rebound, but...

Quoted message said:

Steve got some action. What are the chances that Chucky got some ?

Oooo that's cheating! The dependency is symmetric or I have to do
something extra (my last stats lecture happened 28 years ago**, and maths
is even further away :-)?

Is it
( P(Ch Scores) + P(S Scores) ) * 60% = 0.18%

ie we both score so we add probs, but up the odds because it isn't a 50/50
as it should be with two independent "runners"?

If I'm right (and you too, on my 100% bonus AirMiles), Charlie is going to
be paying me a few boy's nights out. Though judging by the entire rest of
my life, I'd be better putting a down-payment on his services and move to
Brooklyn before year-end ;-)

( *) don't think to hard about this or you'll get seasick ;-)
(**) I remember stuff about bags with black balls and white balls all
mixed together - glad this thread didn't take us there sooner :-P

"Charlie Pendejo" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...
joe positive wrote:

(In which case maybe Doug And Lance will sing the national anthem to
kick off the festivities, ala Kid 'n Play at some '90s NBA all star
game.)

I'm ready for the duet! Oh wussy boy, where are you? 😉

-D

Doug Freese said:

I'm ready for the duet! Oh wussy boy, where are you? 😉

When he finds out I am Miranda Bailey, he'll be here :-P

"steve common" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

"Charlie Pendejo" <[email hidden]> wrote:
Cheeky monkey! I was smokin'! My wit haddeth no limits - though I did
think twice about putting "jewish" and "arab" in the same usenet post:
I
know my arab friends understand my sense of humour, I'm pretty sure my
jewish friends wrote the script, already ;-) and my lesbian friends
don't
give a [censored], but I wasn't sure that the christians would get it :-> or
(6)

Especially the Cristrian right! 😉

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

Actually the only things I remember in Arabic are "lick my
balls" and "my hand is in your ass"

Quoted message said:

You sure know how to talk to a guy :-P

There is always the universal boom-boom and push push.

-Doug

"This wrong in USA, yes?"

Uhh...........actually...

MarkH said:

Pendejo wrote

Quoted message said:

What's a New York City pirate gotta do to get a date with a
lovely Latvian marathoner?

2:08

Arrrrrr! Ahoy, I'm off to find a twenty-six mile ski slope.

Charlie Pendejo <[email hidden]> wrote

Quoted message said:

MarkH said:

Pendejo wrote

Quoted message said:

What's a New York City pirate gotta do to get a date with a
lovely Latvian marathoner?

2:08

Arrrrrr! Ahoy, I'm off to find a twenty-six mile ski slope.

Won't help you. http://www.runningtimes.com/rt/articles/?id=10507

You may have to settle for a date with Madai Perez.