Stalked!

podzol said:

Hi Cathy,
I am really sorry to hear this.

can you go out there with your hubby or a neighbor and be direct?

"Sir, I get the feeling that you are following me. If you are
interested in unicycling, please go to (insert LBS here) and get a
unicycle. If you have any other interest in me, please state it clearly
now or leave me alone. I carry mace and have used it without hesitation
in the past. Neither will I hesitate to call the police the next time I
get the slightest feeling you are watching me."

Be very direct. You have to be direct with men about everything. 😉
They really appreciate it! I'm sure you have learned this by now.

Is it possible that this fellow does not know his behavior is
inappropriate? Give him the clue he needs.

Yeah, you're right.

I'm just a big wimp. Much better at listening than telling. I will do
almost anything to avoid a direct confrontation.

Cathy

--
cathwood

Say no to unicycle genre discrimination! - MrBoogiejuice

http://www.chuckingandtwirling.co.uk
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I'd do it. You can say those things with a smile, but be firm. You don't
need to be a b*tch to make your point.

He's probably interested, wants a friend and is clueless. But you can't
go on feeling creeped out not knowing. Just not a good idea.

Keep us informed...
b

--
podzol

THE MISSING WHEELS TOUR DA YOOP!
Check out the charity ride, planning is under way.
Seeking riders and support.
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Cathy, this is not simply a social issue to be got around with delicacy
and tact. You are clearly worried about the situation, and it is
starting to affect how you might plan your day or spend your time. You
feel you are being stalked. Whether it meets all the criteria for
"stalking", it is clear that this person is behaving inappropriately.

Do nothing to attract or retain this person's interest. If he is,
indeed, a stalker, then a challenge or a confrontation may simply fuel
his interest. Stalkers live in a strange world of denial and confused
perceptions. "You're only angry because you care," etc.

If he is not a stalker then he is simply rude, and that isn't your
fault or your responsibility - and whatever you say won't change a
lifetime of bad habits.

I hope you've been as open with your husband as you have been with us
in the forum. You need his support and advice more than ours, because
he can do more than type to your rescue.

You don't need me to tell you to be careful, but I will anyway. Be
careful.🙂

--
Mikefule

As each man has set up his loom, so will he endure the labour and the
fortune of it
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Thanks Mikefule. I found your post really supportive and I guess it
corresponds with what I was thinking too.

Yes I have told my husband.

He probably thinks that I'm over reacting because he knows that I'm not
a very sociable person at times.

However, I am very good at judging the 'atmosphere' that is between
people (after all it's my job) and the geezer made me feel distinctly
uncomfortable.

On the plus sides - he's on holiday and will be going home at the end
of the week. Also this has encouraged me to find different routes to
ride - I am a creature of habit and once in the rut of doing something
I need something drastic to pull me out of it. So I've been riding
different routes and also playing in the street outside my house. I can
now manage to drop off the curb and hop back on (on the 29ers). Also
getting better at idling the 29er with 140 cranks. So I'm quite pleased
with myself.

Cathy

--
cathwood

Say no to unicycle genre discrimination! - MrBoogiejuice

http://www.chuckingandtwirling.co.uk
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best of luck Cathy.

one subtle option may be to overtly take a photo of him, so he knows
you've got one.

I like Podzol's advice, Jim's more than big enough to help I'm sure!
direct action is harder, but would stop any ongoing worries

--
mikepenton
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You all who have fears of stalking or just want to learn about how to
understand and avoid violence against you or others, please read this
book:

The Gift of Fear by Gavin De Becker (paperback 1998) usually sells for
$ 5. or less used on amazon... link 'Here' (http://tinyurl.com/oytj5)

Everyone should read this book ASAP, even if you don't think you need
it... its just really informative and helpful...

--
fordfasterr

Fav Quotes:
A. {Great minds discuss ideas, Average minds discuss events, Small
minds discuss people.}
B. {The man who makes no mistakes does not usually make anything.}
AIM SN: FordFasteR - 2005 Kawasaki Ninja 636R carfree.com whyquit.com
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I have not been stalked for years (who would stalk a graying bear with a
menacing mustache?)
But that happened to me. That was no problem ... as stated before in
this thread it is hard to distinguish between real stalkers and
"sticky" people.
So rule #1: stalkers play with roles if you feel like a victim then you
are a victim, but if you do not feel like it they will probalbly give
up.
rule#2: reverse the role so that he may feel unease ... that's feeling
and actor's play.
me: "Shhh, don't you hear the music?"
stalker: "????"
me: "please shut up , your heart is making too much noise and your bike
is disrupting the music coming down from heaven! Shhh!" (with crazy
smile).

5 more minutes of other strange remarks and the guy gives up having
found someone really crazier than him!

--
wobbling bear

One Wheel : bear necessity
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