This happened many years ago, but I remember it like yesterday....
Two close friends and myself were at a Karaoke bar one night. You know, drinking and making asses of
our selves singing Roxanne to the horrified crowd. Hell, who cares, it's not like I'm ever going to
see these people again.
Anyway, we meet this chick there. She's really drunk and we're really... She ditches her friends and
we promise to give her a ride home... hehehe. The 4 of us leave the bar, my friend (Bombo) walks
down the street to fetch the jeep. The chick says, "Damn, do I gotta pee. I'll be right back." She
seems to take a long time, so my other friend and I go looking for her. My buddy, Martin, looks down
a darkened alley and nudges me while whispering , "Dude, check it out." As both us look down the
alley in amazement, I remark, "No way, I never seen a chick [censored] before. Well, accept for my mom,
but that doesn't count."
We are staring intensely at the scene, perplexed, bewildered and strangely aroused. "Man, I can't
wait till she stops pissing," I said. Martin asks, "Do they shake, wipe or ???" Finally, the flow
begins to slow, and then abruptly stops. She reaches into her purse as our eyes widen, slack jawed,
in great expectation. She pulls out a white hand towel and wipes. Cool, we remark in unison. Then
she stuffs the towel back into her purse! "WTF... did she just..." :^ ! !^: "No, she couldn't have."
She stands up as we quickly scramble back to the sidewalk to keep from being caught.
Bombo pulls up, and we all pile into the jeep and head off for some grub. While seated at the
restaurant and after the meal, we were wiping our hands when... [censored] girl whips out that same towel
from her purse. She wipes her hands off as my friend and I look at each holding back our little
secret with all our strength. Then, she takes the towel and wipes down her entire face, then stuffs
it back into her purse. My friend and I are squirming in our seats; we can barely contain ourselves.
We finally drive her home. She bends over to kiss me goodbye. I turn my head and give her a quick
hug goodnight. My buddy Martin had a tooth pick in his mouth when she did the same to him. He didn't
turn his head and the toothpick penetrates and sticks into her lower lip as she screams. Shhhhh...
we tell her, your gonna wake up everyone in the neighborhood. Martin and I couldn't hold back any
longer and we bust out in laughter much louder than her scream. She smacks us and tells us to shut
up. Bombo, feeling a little cheated, decides to go for the full lip lock, tongue down the throat
with [censored] girl.
On the way home, in between hysterical laughter, we explained the deal to our friend Bombo. He
didn't (read: wouldn't) believe us.
--
Slacker <ahhh, the good ol heathen days