Quoted message said:I am just not understanding why you feel that choosing the right
saddle for her is YOUR responsibility? And she hasn't even ridden the
bike yet? Aren't you putting the cart a little in front of the
horse?
I don't feel it is my responsibility at all. However, being the
default "bike guy" amongst all my friends, whenever she has a question
I get an email. Whenever ANY of my friends (outside of friends I made
cycling) have a bike question, I am the default. When my PARENTS
friends have bike questions, my phone rings.
When she read that the worst complaint about this particular bike was
an uncomfortable saddle, she mentioned that the saddle was a comfort
issue for her years ago as a kid. I have no experience in woman's
saddles. I enjoy being knowledgeable about bikes. Cart in front of
the horse? Hardly.
Quoted message said:Let her choose HER OWN saddle. Otherwise she will never
assume ownership of the decision.
She's a successful adult, firefighter and EMT. I have no concerns in
her ability to assume ownership of her decisions, she appears to do it
quite well, and has since she was a kid.
Quoted message said:And you think that helping a woman
with her bike is going to allow you to "hang out [together] more
often"? Nope, sorry, it doesn't work that way!
Actually, as adult friends get older, life, family, mortgages, etc.
all start to get in the way of old fashioned "hanging out". Having a
common hobby seriously adds to the hang out time. I just started
climbing at the rock gym with my best friend, and guess what, we spend
more time together because of it.
Quoted message said:And you're NOT going
to have any fun riding with this woman because she's completely out of
shape. You will get bored as hell riding slowly enough to stay with
her, and she will get angry and resentful because you are faster than
she is.
Out of shape? Jumping jesus on a pogo stick, where do you come up
with this [censored]? I said she doesn't ride, that's it. I didn't say a
word about the gym, field hockey, soccer, or running in and out of
burning buildings. She's in better shape than I am.
Quoted message said:If you want to be honest about it, basing your relationship
on cycling is more likely to cause disagreements between you than it
is to improve your friendship.
How about basing our relationship on the fact that we've been good
friends since we were 10 and grew up just down the street from each
other? We actually enjoy challenges and ribbing between each other,
and have since we were playing football in our front yards as kids.
Does that have your approval, oh wise and mighty old-fart?
Quoted message said:Let's face it, chances are that she
will stop riding completely when she finds out how out of shape she
is, and how hard it is going to be to get in shape. Most people are
afraid of "hurting" while they get in shape, and I'll bet she is one
of those. Find another woman with whom you have more in common, and
not necessarily cycling, because women are notorious for changing
their interests weekly! She'll be interested in mountain biking this
week, and something entirely different next week. Don't be afraid to
remain single; don't be so "needy" for a relationship; and let the
women seek YOU out if they are interested in you. The only kind of
woman you're going to please with your present attitude is the kind
who wants to make you do everything for her, but since women like that
will never admit their own helplessness, they will never show you any
appreciation for what you do. You don't want that.
Again, I HAVE NO ROMANTIC INTEREST HERE. What makes you think I'm
single? What makes you think she's single? What make s you think I
like woman? What makes you think she likes men? What makes you think
I'm looking for a relationship? I'm afraid you're projecting your own
insecurities and failures onto the wrong canvas, I'm just helping a
friend get a bike fer chrystsakes.
Quoted message said:Been there, done that, and didn't even get a tee shirt. Listen to the
voice of experience.
I am. The ones with relevant experience, which appears to be everyone
but you in this thread.