It's been a long time since I've had one of my rants. Warning, don't bother reading any further if
rants annoy you.
As most folks 'round here (east coast) know, it's been damn cold. When I suited up today it was
probably around 30 F. (A heat wave indeed) I knew trail conditions would be perfect. After the Honey
Do List was completed the trails would be all mine...or so I thought.
Begin Rant: Double gloved and double socked I approach the trail head, SHIAT! 5 or 6 SUV's already
there. Probably a bunch of Barney-Trailpoaching-Ratbastard-Wannabe-ProRiders ripping the hell out of
my trails. Eh, no bid deal "People are people so why should it be you and I get along so awfully?"
Immediately the dark days of Depeche Mode invade my psyche.
Made me feel like I needed to Break Stuff. "You don't really know why, but you wanna justify rippin
someone's head off." Ah yes Limp Bizkit good tunes for a ride much better than the DM, and I wasn't
in a Classic Rock mood.
I'm down in the park now riding is absolutely great, no mud, everything seemed dry or frozen. I
haven't seen the trails that fast in probably 8 to 10 months. The hills felt like mole hills, me and
the SS were definitely in the zone.
I connect up with a group of 4 riders at one of the cross cuts. I get in as the 4th rider, their
original 4th is lagging behind the group and is well behind me.
The first thing I noticed is the "Lefty". Someone please tell me WTF is the point of a "Lefty"?
Weight saving? Less to maintain? I just don't fvcking get it. The damn fork and the wheel needed for
it nearly cost as much as my SS. If they wanted to be so unique why didn't they make it a "Righty"?
What a waste of time and money. I'll take my rigid fork over that POS any day. For those of you who
own a "Lefty", "WAKE THE FVCK UP!"
As we approach another fork in the road, I go high they go low. I can see their 4th finally catch
up. I'm making very good time much better than I expected even though my plan was to go slow and
work the hills. I decide to hit the far side of the Rockburn Branch trail then head up towards the
Belmont entrance. I come to a stream crossing that I thought for sure would be frozen over. Nope,
not yet and I was not gonna take any chances this time. Tried that dumb sh!t last year and nearly
lost a toe. So I turn around and remap my route. I make my way to the Ridge trail. After a short
stop to take off my over gloves and head band I start up the Ridge. It's amazing how your body can
work up a sweat in 30 F weather.
Who should I see again? Yes the "Crack-N-Fail" crew outfitted to the 9's, Leftys and all. Yep, you
guessed it, their 4th was still lagging behind. I told her I was in no hurry and didn't need to
pass, but she pulled over anyway. I politely thanked her and proceeded to pass their third rider
also. All those fscking gears, a Lefty, outfitted to the 9's and it still didn't help them on the
hills. Perhaps they should have "cut down" their bars. I wonder what they were thinking when I
passed them on a bike the cost less than their forks? I wonder if each of them came in their own
SUV?....So many thoughts so little time.
I cut off after the hill and started my way back out on another cross cut.
It was a good day. Of course now it's snowing/raining/sleeting. When's the frigging
oobleck comming?!
End Rant:
Better now, Bill ...one speed to rule them all, one speed to find them, one speed to bring them all
and on the trails pass them In the Land of Avalon where the geared pigs lie...