RR: rabbid coyote

Technician wrote: <snip>

Travis, do your homework. By the time an animal is far enough gone with rabies to be foaming at the
mouth, it's not going to be able to chase anyone or anything more than a few paces. The rabies virus
attacks the central nervous system. The frothing is caused by paralysis of the swallowing muscles.
Can't even swallow your own spit. Lots of other systems are affected by that point, and anything
like a determined pursuit is out of the question.

I give it a C-.

When do we get to hear your alien abduction story? Just a word of warning... If it doesn't involve
coercive mental influences, invasive medical procedures without anesthesia and/or metallic implants
placed where the sun don't shine, I can't give it better than a B, no matter what else it includes.

Kathleen
PS Paragraphs are our friends....

LMAO.. (can't stop laughing.. must stop laughing.. need.. air.. more laughter)

The way this is written makes me think of the few [censored] stories that I've happened across here and
there.. (more laughter).

I was disappointed however, that the great amazon huntress.. with golden loins bursting forth,
didn't leap down from the trees to smite that maddened creature.. then ask you out for a beer...

Of sourse, that was my second thought. My first was of Wile E. Coyote..

Danny (now my sides hurt)

"Technician" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
"]news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

Well, given that the sun was intermittently out, and it was a warm 55 degrees with a slightly cool
breeze, i couldn't resist a ride.

I decided to try out the powerline as i had not ridden it yet this year. the first 6 miles went by
great, though i had not yet hit the powerline. The first section of the trail was a bit rutted
from ATVs, but still passable. it was actually quite dry considering the past rain (this trail
usually needs a good week of sun to dry out). I rode with an ease never known on the Goose. the
trail, bike, and i were one. we interacted perfectly with every hill, every decent, and every
rock. but this perfection could only last so long. off to one side i hear a coyote howling. but
this is no ordinary howl. it had a very distinct, but indescribable change. cautiously, i rode on,
with a slow steady speed, attempting no sound. Now, i'm not afraid of wild dogs. i have seen them
many times on past rides. but i could tell by the sound, this dog was different. suddenly the
trees off to the left exploded with a streak of silver fur. i could only just stop in time before
the ugliest, mangiest wild dog i have ever seen came to a stop just to the side of the trail. i
could see the telltale foam dripping from it's mouth, and i could see in its eyes, there was just
something not right, and rabies seem the most likely cause. i sat frozen on my bike as it was only
a few feet from me. it slowly walked around to my hind quarter and stood there watching me, as if
it was trying to decide the best form of attack. i waisted no time. i slammed on the pedals with a
force unknown even to
me. i shifted up through the gears as fast as the chain could follow. the coyote followed in a
fast trot, near running. ahead i could see only rocks, ruts, a bridge, and other just plain
rugged terrain that normally i would have taken my time to negotiate. but this time i did not
have the time to slow down. i charged forward bouncing over rocks and ruts with a fury charged
from pure adrenalin and fear. i was in a gear that would normally send my knees into a
screaming pain, but somehow, there was no pain, just an eagerness to go, and go fast. looking
back, i could see the coyote was now running, though not very strongly as it held its snout
low, and looked near exhaustion. this gave me reason to continue. keep it running and it will
tire out. after another mile or so, i could not see the coyote following anymore, so i
lessened the pace a bit, but not entirely should it manage to catch a second wind. i could see
a turn off ahead. knowing this lead to the parallel road, i took it. still in a pretty high
gear, i managed up over the climb pedaling out of the saddle. Upon reaching the road, i
relaxed to a more natural pace. i was not even slightly exhausted so i kept on. upon arriving
back at my car, i unlocked it, and collapsed on the seat as the exhaustion caught up with me.

I'm thinking it may be a while before i ride that trail again. at least until this animal is
caught. i have notified the local animal control center, though given the large area, i'm sure the
animal could go unseen for a while yet.

But one thing it proves, the human body is capable of sustaining extreme power output when in
"fight or flight" mode. my legs are fine now, nut i can imagine tomorrow they will hurt like hell.
--
~Travis

travis57 at megalink dot net megalink.net~farmersOpen ↗

"Kathleen" <[email hidden]> wrote in message "]news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

Technician wrote: <snip>

Travis, do your homework. By the time an animal is far enough gone with rabies to be foaming at
the mouth, it's not going to be able to chase anyone or anything more than a few paces. The rabies
virus attacks the central nervous system. The frothing is caused by paralysis of the swallowing
muscles. Can't even swallow your own spit. Lots of other systems are affected by that point, and
anything like a determined pursuit is out of the question.

I give it a C-.

When do we get to hear your alien abduction story? Just a word of warning... If it doesn't involve
coercive mental influences, invasive medical procedures without anesthesia and/or metallic
implants placed where the sun don't shine, I can't give it better than a B, no matter what else it
includes.

Kathleen
PS Paragraphs are our friends....

Ahhh, Kathleen, you had to go and ruin it with facts!

Gary in VA (LOL)

Kathleen <[email hidden]> spoke thusly...

Quoted message said:

Technician wrote: <snip>

Travis, do your homework. By the time an animal is far enough gone with rabies to be foaming at
the mouth, it's not going to be able to chase anyone or anything more than a few paces. The rabies
virus attacks the central nervous system. The frothing is caused by paralysis of the swallowing
muscles. Can't even swallow your own spit. Lots of other systems are affected by that point, and
anything like a determined pursuit is out of the question.

I give it a C-.

When do we get to hear your alien abduction story? Just a word of warning... If it doesn't involve
coercive mental influences, invasive medical procedures without anesthesia and/or metallic
implants placed where the sun don't shine, I can't give it better than a B, no matter what else it
includes.

Kathleen
PS Paragraphs are our friends....

hey, i know nothing about rabies, but i know what i saw in that animal. whatever was wrong with it
(maybe it ate some alka-seltzer and was [censored]), it didn't seem to like me being there.
--
~Travis

travis57 at megalink dot net megalink.net~farmersOpen ↗

"Technician" <[email hidden]> wrote

Quoted message said:

hey, i know nothing about rabies, but i know what i saw in that animal. whatever was wrong with it
(maybe it ate some alka-seltzer and was [censored]), it didn't seem to like me being there.
--
~Travis

He was chasing a rabbit. You screwed up the angle he had on that. Hence the foamy mouth and the wild
eyes. He was merely winded. And hungry.

And then [censored] at you because YOU screwed up his attack. Now he has to go back to the den, and
listen to his spousal unit [censored] about "You never bring anything home for lunch!"

Pete

I'll do you one better, Travis. When I first moved to Oregon, I read about the local park having
bears. Sure enough, on one of my first rides I heard some rustling in the forest - and the sound of
some BIG branches breaking (WAY to big to be human footsteps). So I picked my bike up and got ready
to wave it in the air and make a lot of noise. The LAST thing I wanted to do was take off riding;
that's an invitation for predators. I was hoping it'd just be a little one!

Next thing I know, here come these three teenage boys walking off-trail. One of them jumps way up in
the air and lands on a big branch, making a loud crack! I quietly lowered the bike and rode off, and
they never knew what I was about to do. I felt pretty silly, but hey if it really had turned out to
be a bear I would have been damn glad I didn't just assume otherwise. I still haven't seen a bear in
that park, and I've come to the conclusion they're not really out there.

The moral is: as long as you don't end up being some horror story in the newspapers, its all good.
So I'm not cool enough for Kathleen either, but I can live with that.

--
-BB- To reply to me, drop the attitude (from my e-mail address, at least)

Kathleen said...

Quoted message said:

When do we get to hear your alien abduction story? Just a word of warning... If it doesn't involve
coercive mental influences, invasive medical procedures without anesthesia and/or metallic
implants placed where the sun don't shine, I can't give it better than a B, no matter what else it
includes.

Kathleen
PS Paragraphs are our friends....

And thank you very much for that ray of sunshine, Kathleen. Needless abuse such as this does so much
to reaffirm my belief in humanity. What else do you do for fun? Throw ball bearings on the floor at
the old folk's home?

On Tue, 03 Jun 2003 04:32:20 GMT, SuperSlinky <[email hidden]> wrote:

|Kathleen said...
|
|> When do we get to hear your alien abduction story? Just a word of warning... If it doesn't
|> involve coercive mental influences, invasive medical procedures without anesthesia and/or
|> metallic implants placed where the sun don't shine, I can't give it better than a B, no matter
|> what else it includes.
|>
|> Kathleen
|> PS Paragraphs are our friends....
|
|And thank you very much for that ray of sunshine, Kathleen. Needless |abuse such as this does so
much to reaffirm my belief in humanity. What |else do you do for fun? Throw ball bearings on the
floor at the old |folk's home?

New around here, eh?

Here's a free clue:

Main Entry: con·text Pronunciation: 'kän-"tekst Function: noun Etymology: Middle English, weaving
together of words, from Latin contextus connection of words, coherence, from contexere to weave
together, from com- + texere to weave -- more at TECHNICAL Date: circa 1568
1 : the parts of a discourse that surround a word or passage and can throw light on its meaning
2 : the interrelated conditions in which something exists or occurs : ENVIRONMENT, SETTING

"Kathleen" <[email hidden]> wrote in message "]news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

Technician wrote: <snip>

Travis, do your homework. By the time an animal is far enough gone with rabies to be foaming at
the mouth, it's not going to be able to chase anyone or anything more than a few paces. The rabies
virus attacks the central nervous system. The frothing is caused by paralysis of the swallowing
muscles. Can't even swallow your own spit. Lots of other systems are affected by that point, and
anything like a determined pursuit is out of the question.

I give it a C-.

When do we get to hear your alien abduction story? Just a word of warning... If it doesn't involve
coercive mental influences, invasive medical procedures without anesthesia and/or metallic
implants placed where the sun don't shine, I can't give it better than a B, no matter what else it
includes.

Kathleen
PS Paragraphs are our friends....

hehehe, that's harsh, kathleen... but oh so funny.

Jon Bond

Technician said:

Kathleen <[email hidden]> spoke thusly...

Quoted message said:

Technician wrote: <snip>

Travis, do your homework. By the time an animal is far enough gone with rabies to be foaming at
the mouth, it's not going to be able to chase anyone or anything more than a few paces. The rabies
virus attacks the central nervous system. The frothing is caused by paralysis of the swallowing
muscles. Can't even swallow your own spit. Lots of other systems are affected by that point, and
anything like a determined pursuit is out of the question.

I give it a C-.

When do we get to hear your alien abduction story? Just a word of warning... If it doesn't involve
coercive mental influences, invasive medical procedures without anesthesia and/or metallic
implants placed where the sun don't shine, I can't give it better than a B, no matter what else it
includes.

Kathleen
PS Paragraphs are our friends....

hey, i know nothing about rabies, but i know what i saw in that animal. whatever was wrong with it
(maybe it ate some alka-seltzer and was [censored]), it didn't seem to like me being there.

As acting spokesperson for the V.C.C. (Virally Challenged Canids), formerly known as the
R.C.A.L. (Rabid Coyote Anti-Defamation League) I feel the need to address the slanderous
allegations contained your post. Ever since it became politically incorrect to blame the big
bad wolf for every unsolved missing granny case, we coyotes catch the flack. Somebody's
fluffy, white, delectable - I mean defenseless - poodle disappears out of their back yard,
who gets the blame? Coyotes! If you're going to make up a story, why not claim to have been
chased by a fibromyalgic possum, or a skunk with learning disabilities? Why further demonize
an already oppressed minority?

Can't we all just get along?!

Wile. E. Coyote

On 3 Jun 2003 04:05:35 GMT, BB <[email hidden]> wrote:

So I'm not cool enough for Kathleen either, but

Quoted message said:

I can live with that.

Are any of us?

"Wile E. Coyote" <[email hidden]> wrote in message "]news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

As acting spokesperson for the V.C.C. (Virally Challenged Canids), formerly known as the R.C.A.L.
(Rabid Coyote Anti-Defamation League) I feel the need to address the slanderous allegations
contained your post. Ever since it became politically incorrect to blame the big bad wolf for
every unsolved missing granny case, we coyotes catch the flack. Somebody's fluffy, white,
delectable - I mean defenseless - poodle disappears out of their back yard, who gets the blame?
Coyotes! If you're going to make up a story, why not claim to have been chased by a fibromyalgic
possum, or a skunk with learning disabilities? Why further demonize an already oppressed minority?

GIMME BACK MY CAT!!!

Bill "insert Mel Gibson .wav file here" S.

BB said:

I'll do you one better, Travis. When I first moved to Oregon, I read about the local park having
bears. Sure enough, on one of my first rides I heard some rustling in the forest - and the sound
of some BIG branches breaking (WAY to big to be human footsteps). So I picked my bike up and got
ready to wave it in the air and make a lot of noise. The LAST thing I wanted to do was take off
riding; that's an invitation for predators. I was hoping it'd just be a little one!

Next thing I know, here come these three teenage boys walking off-trail. One of them jumps way up
in the air and lands on a big branch, making a loud crack! I quietly lowered the bike and rode
off, and they never knew what I was about to do. I felt pretty silly, but hey if it really had
turned out to be a bear I would have been damn glad I didn't just assume otherwise. I still
haven't seen a bear in that park, and I've come to the conclusion they're not really out there.

The moral is: as long as you don't end up being some horror story in the newspapers, its all good.
So I'm not cool enough for Kathleen either, but I can live with that.

--
-BB- To reply to me, drop the attitude (from my e-mail address, at least)

Well there was this time I was riding solo... I stopped on the trail and put a foot down... I heard
a strange sctratching noise coming from down the trail and I could hear four running feet... What
could it be??? I stood there as the biggest hedgehog (?) came running straight for my leg.... it
approached my leg at a full clip. I was convinced it was mad or rabid and was going to bite my
leg.... It ran stariaght at me under my leg and down the trail The little critter just kept running
down the trail... I was terrified by a little critter!!!! He wasn't mad or rabid... he was just in a
hurry to get somewhere!

Jimbo... denies screaming like a terrified little girl ;-)...(san)

jimbo(san) <[email hidden]> spoke thusly...

Quoted message said:

BB said:

I'll do you one better, Travis. When I first moved to Oregon, I read about the local park having
bears. Sure enough, on one of my first rides I heard some rustling in the forest - and the sound
of some BIG branches breaking (WAY to big to be human footsteps). So I picked my bike up and got
ready to wave it in the air and make a lot of noise. The LAST thing I wanted to do was take off
riding; that's an invitation for predators. I was hoping it'd just be a little one!

Next thing I know, here come these three teenage boys walking off-trail. One of them jumps way
up in the air and lands on a big branch, making a loud crack! I quietly lowered the bike and
rode off, and they never knew what I was about to do. I felt pretty silly, but hey if it really
had turned out to be a bear I would have been damn glad I didn't just assume otherwise. I still
haven't seen a bear in that park, and I've come to the conclusion they're not really out there.

The moral is: as long as you don't end up being some horror story in the newspapers, its all
good. So I'm not cool enough for Kathleen either, but I can live with that.

--
-BB- To reply to me, drop the attitude (from my e-mail address, at least)

Well there was this time I was riding solo... I stopped on the trail and put a foot down... I
heard a strange sctratching noise coming from down the trail and I could hear four running feet...
What could it be??? I stood there as the biggest hedgehog (?) came running straight for my leg....
it approached my leg at a full clip. I was convinced it was mad or rabid and was going to bite my
leg.... It ran stariaght at me under my leg and down the trail The little critter just kept
running down the trail... I was terrified by a little critter!!!! He wasn't mad or rabid... he was
just in a hurry to get somewhere!

Jimbo... denies screaming like a terrified little girl ;-)...(san)

I personally would be a little worried about what could have scared it that much, and was it
close behind.
--
~Travis

travis57 at megalink dot net megalink.net~farmersOpen ↗

jimbo(san) said:

BB wrote: Well there was this time I was riding solo... I stopped on the trail and put a foot
down... I heard a strange sctratching noise coming from down the trail and I could hear four
running feet... What could it be??? I stood there as the biggest hedgehog (?) came running
straight for my leg.... it approached my leg at a full clip. I was convinced it was mad or rabid
and was going to bite my leg.... It ran stariaght at me under my leg and down the trail The little
critter just kept running down the trail... I was terrified by a little critter!!!! He wasn't mad
or rabid... he was just in a hurry to get somewhere!

150 million years of evolution tells us that a strange noise is hostile for a very good reason...The
reaction should be fight or flight..

I was riding last weekend in a local forest (Bracknell) hardly anyone else there and I kept
surprising deer (probably with my lyca shorts)<smile>. Which would shoot off (they didn't have guns
BTW) into the undergrowth. No hassles, pretty, timid deer bouncing around very nice and cute.
Remember thinking "ahhh" once or twice..

Then on a nice long streight stretch I must have spooked something (might have been the shorts
again)<Grin> because for the next 2/3 mins I had the found of something crashing through the
undergrowth to my left hand side. Even though I kept telling myself it was a deer and it would stop,
Trouble is I kept thinking if it was a deer it would figure out its mistake and stop. SO I kept
trying to figure out what sort of beastie it was.

Never did find out if it was another deer or a wild boar <Chuckle>

Gyp

Kathleen <[email hidden]> wrote in message news:<[email hidden]>...

Quoted message said:

Technician wrote: <snip>

Travis, do your homework. By the time an animal is far enough gone with rabies to be foaming at
the mouth, it's not going to be able to chase anyone or anything more than a few paces. The rabies
virus attacks the central nervous system. The frothing is caused by paralysis of the swallowing
muscles. Can't even swallow your own spit. Lots of other systems are affected by that point, and
anything like a determined pursuit is out of the question.

I give it a C-.

When do we get to hear your alien abduction story? Just a word of warning... If it doesn't involve
coercive mental influences, invasive medical procedures without anesthesia and/or metallic
implants placed where the sun don't shine, I can't give it better than a B, no matter what else it
includes.

Kathleen
PS Paragraphs are our friends....

On my honor as an honest bullshitter, the following is absolutely true: could I have made it up??

groups.google.comgroupsOpen ↗
C57966%40qwest.net#link1

Paladin

"jimbo(san)" <[email hidden]> wrote in message "]news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

Well there was this time I was riding solo... I stopped on the trail and

put a

Quoted message said:

foot down... I heard a strange sctratching noise coming from down the

trail

Quoted message said:

and I could hear four running feet... What could it be??? I stood there as the biggest hedgehog
(?) came running straight for my

leg....

Quoted message said:

it approached my leg at a full clip. I was convinced it was mad or rabid and was going to bite my
leg.... It

ran

Quoted message said:

stariaght at me under my leg and down the trail The little critter just kept running down the
trail... I was terrified by

a

Quoted message said:

little critter!!!! He wasn't mad or rabid... he was just in a hurry to get somewhere!

Jimbo... denies screaming like a terrified little girl ;-)...(san)

Don't feel bad.

Once while resting during a climb I noticed a raccoon foraging in the brush. I made some noises to
alert it to our presence and it looked up, made a bunch of squeaky noises and started moving towards
us. I didn't scream run and pedal madly for fifteen feet or so. Then stopped and burst into laughter
that we were running from a raccoon. In self defense it was probably rabid or sick given that this
happened in the middle of the afternoon.

Chris

"jimbo(san)" <[email hidden]> wrote in message "]news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

BB said:

I'll do you one better, Travis. When I first moved to Oregon, I read

about

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

the local park having bears. Sure enough, on one of my first rides I

heard

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

some rustling in the forest - and the sound of some BIG branches

breaking

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

(WAY to big to be human footsteps). So I picked my bike up and got ready to wave it in the air
and make a lot of noise. The LAST thing I wanted

to

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

do was take off riding; that's an invitation for predators. I was hoping it'd just be a
little one!

Next thing I know, here come these three teenage boys walking off-trail. One of them jumps way
up in the air and lands on a big branch, making a loud crack! I quietly lowered the bike and
rode off, and they never knew what I was about to do. I felt pretty silly, but hey if it really
had turned out to be a bear I would have been damn glad I didn't just assume otherwise. I still
haven't seen a bear in that park, and I've come to

the

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

conclusion they're not really out there.

The moral is: as long as you don't end up being some horror story in the newspapers, its all
good. So I'm not cool enough for Kathleen either,

but

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

I can live with that.

--
-BB- To reply to me, drop the attitude (from my e-mail address, at least)

Well there was this time I was riding solo... I stopped on the trail and

put a

Quoted message said:

foot down... I heard a strange sctratching noise coming from down the

trail

Quoted message said:

and I could hear four running feet... What could it be??? I stood there as the biggest hedgehog
(?) came running straight for my

leg....

Quoted message said:

it approached my leg at a full clip. I was convinced it was mad or rabid and was going to bite my
leg.... It

ran

Quoted message said:

stariaght at me under my leg and down the trail The little critter just kept running down the
trail... I was terrified by

a

Quoted message said:

little critter!!!! He wasn't mad or rabid... he was just in a hurry to get somewhere!

Jimbo... denies screaming like a terrified little girl ;-)...(san)

I had a chipmunk jump up on my (jeans covered) leg once, then shoot back into its hole and start
chattering at me. Happened right behind my house when I was like 13, when I was taking a shortcut on
my bike to a friend's house. Freaked the hell out of me, too. We now have chipmunks under my deck
that drive my dog crazy (he's a ratter, so he sees small furry thing, and goes nuts). We've got a
raised screened porch with a ground-level deck, and the chipmunks live under the deck. One (or more,
can't really tell the difference) gets out of the hole, jumps up on the corner of the deck, and just
stares at my dog (who's barking his head off behind hte screen), and just kinda sits there on his
hind legs. Jerk!

Jon Bond

Paladin <[email hidden]> wrote in message "]news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

Kathleen <[email hidden]> wrote in message

news:<[email hidden]>...

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

Technician wrote: <snip>

Travis, do your homework. By the time an animal is far enough gone with rabies to be foaming at
the mouth, it's not going to be able to chase anyone or anything more than a few paces. The
rabies virus attacks the central nervous system. The frothing is caused by paralysis of the
swallowing muscles. Can't even swallow your own spit. Lots of other systems are affected by that
point, and anything like a determined pursuit is out of the question.

I give it a C-.

When do we get to hear your alien abduction story? Just a word of warning... If it doesn't
involve coercive mental influences, invasive medical procedures without anesthesia and/or
metallic implants placed where the sun don't shine, I can't give it better than a B, no matter
what else it includes.

Kathleen
PS Paragraphs are our friends....

On my honor as an honest bullshitter, the following is absolutely true: could I have made it up??

groups.google.comgroupsOpen ↗
b1723&seekm=3AEDBC15.49C57966%40qwest.net#link1

Quoted message said:

Paladin

Heheheheheh - I remember getting a chuckle from that when you first posted
it. Cheers!

Shaun aRe