Almost forgot about my 'highlight's package of friday ride home.
'Usual' route home. approaching KFC east Kew.
For some reason drivers 'always' pull out of here without thinking/looking/caring/whatever.
Was damp and traffic heavy on my left and had about 100m of approach to realsie the only option I had was to just stop as i couldnt go round the silly bugger with nose stuck out 2m onto road 🙄
I stopped approx 2m short of him. Car to his rear stuck up his end, so he couldnt reverse back. We shrugged shoulders as each other.
Car behind - 90's Honda Prelude, black, lowered, hoon'd up, sunroof, P-Plater.
Driver jumps out of car and starts yelling abuse at driver stuck at exit.
Walks around open door. more yelling. Proceeds to kick rear of stuck car!
I (stupidly in hindsight) say "Give im a break. He's stuck!"
So little appendaged man, decides the best path of action is to turn attention on me. blah, blah, blah.
"STFU! I have to be somewhere!!!" he proclaims boldly
"What? and you reckon him and me dont??"
So, he's run out of rhetoric and charges at me. I'm off!
Luckily was in a small'ish gear so made a quick escape down High St, him only 'just' behind, can hear him breatheing and see an outreached arm out of corner of eye as i look back over shoulder.
adrenalin' pumpin, thumpin in time. etcetc
Luckily the ped lights at cemetry turn red which (I presume) bought me time. Not sure whether to bail into sidestreet or hether that leaves me alone/susceptible (oh by the way, the passenger had also got out and was apprx 2m and 120kg easy. also 2 guys in back seats i found out later...).
Keep going down High. Lights at bottom of hill also turn orange as I apporach. fank krist. more time bought.
Sprint up to HarpRd Hill like never before.
Get to top. seeing stars by now...
Lights are red but turning green...
Look back and nutters are in left lane about 10 cars back. One of em jumps out of car and running. fffaaarrrkkkk.
At last minute make rightturn across traffic to try and lose them.
Pass bottle-shop of Hotel and look back. I'm spent. I need a Plan B???
Aaaah, hang on. I'm opposite the copshop.
Must get them past me so I can turn and loose em for long enuff to get in to copshop.
Car pulls up beside me, slows, I'm [censored] myself and sure enuff, they swerve in and something hard hits my (already fugged) right shoulder.
Forces my (already fugged!!) left shoulder into parked car...
I vaguely see them pull into space before parked car. sheeeeeet.
Make Uturn somehow (i think i did this without even looking? adrenalin and fear are dangerous things!)
They Uturn also. I'm sprinting again. It's gonna be close! Thankfark i had been doing TTT training in morning and was on roadie...
They are getting too close. I pull up driveway and continue along footpath.
3-4 houses to go...
Approach carpark of copshop and they pull into driveway, blocking my way. I bail out onto road and realise I have made it.
I slow and look back at them, approx 20m back. They are all out now and running at me. I cyclocross bike and leggit up steps. One of em trips, and (presumably they havent realised where they/I am?!?!?)
I reach automatic doors and they seem to take an eternity to open, but fianlly do. I turn. They are standing still, obviously having finally worked out the jig is up, at least for their intended plan.
"Come and get me" I'm tauntiing em now 😄
"We'll be waiting @^%%!" The driver's yelling at me...
"Dont bother lads. Look up and wave at the camera's"
"So wha?
"I'm sure the guys inside are going to enjoy watching your efforts from those (i later learnt 8 cameras!!!) and the camera at KFC too!"
By this time paddywagon was parked behind their car and officers were walking up behind them (presumably KFC or other driver had reported em?)
Too khalf an hour of statement-giving, catching breathe and assurances these foolswouldnt be able to find out who/where I was.
Got a call later that night to confirm some things.
Apparently their boot contained all kinds of 'stuff'