Road Ethics

muxy said:

I am new to cycing. I have been training for about 6 weeks, mostly indoors. Every Sunday a friend and I go for a long ride. He has been cycling for 3 years. He has easily bested me in 3 of 4 rides. He has been gracious enough to allow me to get into shape before I tackle the group ride.
Today we went 100 KM. The wind was at our backs on the way out. On the way back we had to ride into the wind. He lead for about 10 KM then asked me to take the lead. I pushed it pretty hard and he was on my tail the whole way. Strangely he did not ask to take the lead. I neeed the work so I continued to press on. At about 93 KM I noticed he was about 1 KM back. I had been intervalling and I guess he bonked. I had a decision to make.
I decided at about 95 KM to push myself to the limit. I realized he did not respond. After I finished I got to the car and raced to see if he had sustained an injury.
Couldn't find him. Turns out he had taken a short cut. He was livid and said I should have never left behind a friend.
I figured the best way to help him would be to get the car and pick him up if he was in trouble since there was such a short distance left. If we were further out that would have never happened.
I guess I could have communicated that to him.
Anyone have similar experiences?
BTW I apoligized profusely.
Secretely I am proud of my growth.
We shall see what he does with me next week. Hope I can cope.

Some group riders will tell you that it's everyone for themselves. If I ride with one or just a couple people we don't leave anyone. Now for the hills we always ride hard and then wait at the top or spin till they catch up.
You probably shouldn't have left him.

That's a pretty funny story. I would be willing to bet that his anger came more from the fact that he's the "teacher" and you're the "apprentice", and now it appears that the abilities of the apprentice have exceeded those of the teacher. 😄 Don't worry about it, his pride was hurt, that's all. How long have you two lived in the area where you were riding, was there a chance of him getting lost? I doubt it. That's the thing with training rides, usually people aren't at the same fitness level. Therefore, they'll rarely be able to go the same speeds. Especially over longer distances. I left my buddy on a ride earlier today, I did a 45-minute interval and he couldn't hold my wheel. He didn't get mad, he just said "you're an animal!". I just waited for him when my interval was over. If it's an issue, maybe you should make it known that nobody gets left behind before you start from now on. Oh, and way to go with the improvements. Keep it up.

Nice! Congrats on dropping your friend! Most of my friends are much faster than me, and I have NO problem with them dropping my ass, it gives me a goal to reach. They always wait for me, come back for me, or (eventualy) slow down for me and let me grab their wheel and try and hold on for the draft.

I think your buddy is just having a hard time watching his "slower" friend ride off on him 😄

IMHO you both were wrong. You at least recognized that and appologized. It is up to him to appologize and for each of you to accept it, learn from it, and move on.

It sounds like you two need to agree on what you are going to be doing on these training rides. If you each are going to race at some point, agree to that. If one of you are not upto it at that point, talk about it and decide what you are going to do. If one needs to "pull" the other do it.

You being so new it is understandable how your reacted. Here is a guy that has no problem dropping you on these rides. Now you are in front and do the same thing. How is that different from him doing it to you. Being stuck in a head wind when you have bonked is no fun.

Your friend is wrong since he could have taken this opportunity to "teach" you what to do in these situations. Instead, he let is pride get in the way, turned around, and pouted.

With luck you two will be able to move on. Just try not to let this get into some pea podding contest.

Conan: To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of the women.

(Replace the word "enemies" with "friends" when it comes to cycling)

Good for you!! He'll get over it.

it's good to know the 'groundrules' before you ride with someone. That time has passed with you guys but now you know, and if he's a real friend, he'll not hold any grudges. Before the group ride it might help to also know the ground rules.
They'll either be a group where 'no one is left behind' or it'll be 'every sucker for themselves.'
I've ridden with both types of groups and prefer the 'no one left behind' types.

After all---they're just training rides. Everyone gets their chances to sprint to the next town limit sign or up the next hill, or try to drop everyone with a surge, then regroup shortly thereafter.

On a century once i made the mistake of assuming. I had one buddy with me in the group, but the other guys I didnt know. Two of them decided to drop everyone and the whole group exploded with about 35-40 miles to go. It wasn't even a race. My buddy tried to stay with the guys who took off, but even he got dropped.

I was [censored] of course riding the last miles all alone. Where's the fun in that when the first 60-65 miles were very enjoyable.

Thing was----no one asked what the rules for the day were. We could have agreed to stay together until the last 5-10km or summat. Or there may have been no agreement either. Thing is---it didnt come up so everyone had their own assumptions.
silly

I had a rather similar experience. The other day I went out with a guy I had never ridden with before. He is a cross-country skier and generally in much better shape than I am. We were heading into the wind on the way out and about 20km into our ride (as I was pulling) I checked over my shoulder and noticed him about 100-150m behind me and struggling to catch up. I find its good road etiquette to always be aware of the rider you are with. Keep checking back every so often to make sure that he/she is still there and that the pace isn't killing him/her. This is especially true early in the season when people are at such different levels, and when you are only out with one other person. In larger groups if you are pulling then you can focus on the work you have to do and other riders in the pack should call out if someone gets dropped.

I think if you hadn't thought to work out the ground rules, you should have waited... asked what he wanted to do and he probably would have said, i'll meet you at the car... real training benefit would have been no different (i think maybe you wanted to stick it to him a little..) and i would have been checking to see if he was there before he got 1km back... at the same time when he let go of your wheel he should have said something too (probably pride kept him from saying, hey i'm done...)

anyway, the best thing to do is to set ground rules for what goes on before the ride... if you're going to do something out of the ordinary say it or stop or slow down at the next time it makes sense (but not 7km seems a tad on the long side to leave your lone training partner by themself)... you are on a group ride you should be mindful of the person(s) you are with... otherwise you should have just gone out by yourself.

I'm surprised this question was even raised. It really has nothing to do with cycling per se, but common decency when you set off anywhere with a friend.
Whether you're walking up a mountain trail, or even walking along the high street, you don't just walk off into the distance; if you do get ahead of them being a faster walker, rider etc., you stop or slow down periodically for them to catch up.
As previous posters have said, if you agree beforehand, see you at the finish, see you at the top, see you in Starbucks - then fine it's every man for himself.
For those who have read the 'Killing me' thread, my young cycling buddy and I are in fierce competition but have never agreed on anything before our rides, but he has waited for me at the top of a climb (sometimes the other way around😄 ), and I always slow down on the flat for him to catch up.😉
In short we always reach base together.
A very good reason for sticking together is, what if one of you has front a tyre blowout going downhill and crashes badly or knocked off your bike by a car etc.? Think about it!
TYSON

Thanks for the reply's. we patched things up. We should have set ground rules and I should have checked with him. No excuses.