Restaurant Rules as written by your server

We need to write Restaurant Rules written by your customer,
that's what I think.

I'll start.

Don't make me drag out a bull horn or strain my neck
looking around for you. Notice that I need another drink,
my bill, whatever. You will [censored] me off if you just abandon
me there, wondering where you went.

Notice I didn't say Ask me if everything is okay. You will
know because you will notice me looking around to get your
attention because I need something. If you're paying attention.

nancy

Jude said:

[snip]
Kinda funny the way they give specific amounts, though....$5 kid fee,
$3 for 30 minutes 'camping fee'!

Your thoughts?

My thoughts? This person is a student at the community college. Has
been for 7 years and hasn't passed enough courses for the AA degree
yet. Doesn't understand that any better than he or she understands his
or her job. -aem

Nancy Young said:

We need to write Restaurant Rules written by your customer,
that's what I think.

I'll start.

Don't make me drag out a bull horn or strain my neck
looking around for you. Notice that I need another drink,
my bill, whatever. You will [censored] me off if you just abandon
me there, wondering where you went.

Notice I didn't say Ask me if everything is okay. You will
know because you will notice me looking around to get your
attention because I need something. If you're paying attention.

nancy

Ok, I'll add on.

1. If I'm only drinking water, notice if my glass gets low and fill it.
I'm a lot more pissy about an empty water glass if it's my only
beverage than if it's seitting next to my iced tea. And don't think
part of your tip isn;t for keeping my glass full!

2. If I'm waving my arm in your direction and the people at the next
table notice me falling out of my chair trying to get you to come fill
said water glass, please don't turn and walk away. Acknowledge that you
saw me. The four tables closest to me and one halfway across the room
did! Do you have eye problems?

3. If you have just brought my salad to the table and I am lifting bite
#2 to my mouth, please don't bring my me main dish now!!

4. If I am eating said salad and am halfway through, please ASK me if I
still want the appetizer I ordered when I was first seated, along with
the drinks. It was ordered becasue I was starved and wanted an
appetizer order put in right away, beefore you even headed to the bar.
If you've taken my order and served my salad and it's still not ready,
I probably dont want it anymore. Blame your slow kitchen.

5. When you know I'm close to finnishsed, dessert has been ordered or
turned down, coffee has been consumed or denied, drinks are empty, for
heaven's sake, don't make me chase you down for the check. You know I'm
almost done. If I have to ask another server to find you or stand up
and put on my coat to get someone to notice that I want my check,
you'll notice it in your tip.

6. After you drop off the check, I generally only need 2 minutes max to
put money or a credit card inside. Yes, I know you have other tables.
But should I really have to make a fool of myself (see rule #2) to get
you to bring my change or run my credit card?

Nancy Young said:

We need to write Restaurant Rules written by your customer,
that's what I think.

I'll start.

Don't make me drag out a bull horn or strain my neck
looking around for you. Notice that I need another drink,
my bill, whatever. You will [censored] me off if you just abandon
me there, wondering where you went.

Notice I didn't say Ask me if everything is okay. You will
know because you will notice me looking around to get your
attention because I need something. If you're paying attention.

nancy

Additionally, when two tables that were seated after my table are served
before my table, coffees go unfilled and you're nowhere to be found when
it comes time to order dessert, expect a 1% tip...

Pete C.

Uh, maybe you should have spent a little less time waiting on tables
and more time in school.

Quoted message said:

TIPPING:
It is not 1960. Cost of living has gone up dramatically since then.
18% is the MINIMUM amount of what you should be tipping your
servers.

Hmm: What's wrong with this paragraph? The cost of living has gone
up: doesn't that include RESTAURANT PRICES? Why on *earth* would we
need to tip more? 15% of an entree whose price has doubled in the last
few years means you get double your *tip*. Spare me this BS that 18%
is the "minimum." Hell, ZERO is the minimum, and I'm happy to give it
to spoiled waitstaff who resent the fact people don't bolt their food
and *leave*. If I get good service I'm happy to spring for 15+%, but I
resent your math-retarded proclamation here.

Jude said:

[snip]
5. When you know I'm close to finnishsed, dessert has been ordered or
turned down, coffee has been consumed or denied, drinks are empty, for
heaven's sake, don't make me chase you down for the check. You know I'm
almost done. If I have to ask another server to find you or stand up
and put on my coat to get someone to notice that I want my check,
you'll notice it in your tip.

Yes, most of the time, but in several cultures it is considered rude to
bring a check before it is asked for. So if you're at a nice Japanese
restaraurant, to name one, you should expect to have to ask for it.
Just looking in the server's direction should do it, you shouldn't need
all the arm waving and standing up. :-) -aem

"Jude" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

Found this on another website I read, and figured it could spark some
interesting conversation around here!!

<snip>

Quoted message said:

Your thoughts?

I realize that servers depend on tips, so I usually try to be generous --
but I do vary the amount depending on quality of service and cost of food.
For a normal meal, I almost always start at 15% and go up to 20%. If
service is terrible, my tip will also be terrible (which is very rare). I
sometimes buy takeout and am puzzled about the appropriate amount. I think
tips should be provided because it is still a service, but I'm not sure of
the amount -- I usually tip 10% or 12% for carryout. If the meal is
extremely cheap, my tip (proportionately) will go up because the server
still has to the same amount of work. If the meal is extremely expensive,
my tip will be a slightly lower percentage *unless* it is a restaurant where
more than one person serves the table.

I would much rather eliminate tips and have the cost absorbed as a normal
part of the meal -- that is, raise the cost of meals and let me see exactly
what it will cost. Since that is not going to happen, I resent it when tips
are automatically added for groups. That eliminates even a pretense that
the tip is for service rendered because any server (good or bad) will
receive the same amount.

My own salary has gone up an average of 1% (yes, 1%) a year for several
years. So, the argument about cost of living leaves me in the dust.

MaryL

Jude said:

Kinda funny the way they give specific amounts, though....$5 kid fee,
$3 for 30 minutes 'camping fee'!

Your thoughts?

My thought is that I'll go someplace else.

Best regards,
Bob

Quoted message said:

1. CHILDREN "THE LITTLE DEVILS":

If you are working at a family style restaurant, you should expect
families. If you can't handle it, I suggest another line of work. All
of us will be much happier this way.

Quoted message said:

2. "THE CAMPERS":
If you feel the necessity to stay for longer than 15 minutes after you
pay,
its an extra $3 every 30 minutes. We make our money from the tables. If
you
are in one and we can't seat it, we don't make money.

I'll leave when I'm done. It may take me more than 15 minutes to finish
my desert and/or drinks if they were brought to me at the same time as
the check. More often, however, I'm forced to camp because YOU haven't
brought me my check, nor even bothered to confirm your existance in the
last 20-30 minutes. This doesn't improve your tip, it decreases it.
I'll note for future reference to deduct $3 for each 15 minutes of such
behavior.

Quoted message said:

3. COMPLIMENTS:
Telling a server they are the best server they've ever had is not a
tip. If
we are good, let us know by leaving us more money. We cant pay our
bills on
compliments. Its not that we don't appreciate the praise, its just that
if
you say that and then leave 10% it's an insult.

The person who told you that was obviously being sarcastic. With your
atitude you are lucky to get 10%.

Quoted message said:

4. THE SALVATION PAMPHLETS:
Prayer cards and any other religious pamphlet is NOT a tip. It is
insulting
that you assume we are w/o religion and must save us. Again, like ..3,
we
cant pay bills w/prayer cards. We'd go to church on Sundays if it
wasn't
mandatory to work on Sundays because EVERYONE who goes to church
follows it
by eating out.

In my experience, only the most hell-bent devil spawn servers get this
kind of treatment. You should consider it an insight into your
clientel's view of you.

Quoted message said:

5. TIPPING:

Ah ha ! A whole section about... the same thing as the whole rant.

Quoted message said:

HERE'S A GOOD RULE OF THUMB:

SINCE 18% IS THE MINIMUM, JUST LEAVE 20% FOR GOOD SERVICE. IT'S SIMPLE
TO
FIGURE OUT...LEAVE ONE DOLLAR FOR EVERY FIVE DOLLARS OF YOUR TOTAL BILL

My guess is that although most people leave 20% for good service, you
rarely get that much. Think about it. [censored] poor service, with the
server trying to rush me out the door is not going to earn 20%. Pay
special attention to the word earn.

Quoted message said:

6. THE COMPLAINERS:
If you get a discount because of your food was prepared wrong or
something,

If it was prepared wrong, then I probably won't blame you unless it is
very obvious. Don't try to serve me something I didn't order. That is
your fault, and it will come out of your tip. Also, if I see my food
sitting on the counter, or under a heat lamp for 30 miuntes, then I may
complain it is cold. This is also your fault. It will also be coming
out of your tip. Finally, don't serve me my food until I have
silverware. I don't like to sit in front of a bowl of soup for 10
minutes without a spoon. It doesn't make me a happy tipper.

Quoted message said:

7. THE FREE STUFF:

If I enjoy a free item, you will be rewarded. If I didn't ask for it,
and it sits untouched on my table taking up space, then don't expect
anything in return.

Quoted message said:

8. THE LATE ONES:

Fine, I'll go to Denny's or the Waffle House. The service is better
there.

Quoted message said:

9. THE TABLE HOGGERS:
If you only come in for coffee or a dessert, to do paper work, or to
have a
meeting, don't sit there taking up our booths for hours. We are not
Starbucks or a hotel restraunt. If you want to sit for hours, go there
or
else you better leave a good tip for us and camping fee included.

If you are a coffee shop type restaurant, and there more empty tables
than seated tables, then deal with it. In return, I won't do paperwork
in a crowded restaurant.

Quoted message said:

10. THE GREET:
When we come up to the table to greet you and we ask how you are doing
please let us know. We honestly want to know how you are doing. If you
are
in a bad mood we want to know that from the beginning. A confused stare
or
complete silence does not suffice as a reply to "How are you doing?".

Maybe you really don't want to know. Particularly if I have been seated
over a half-hour before you show up, and then I realise you were the
person standing in the bar area chatting with your friends that someone
else is serving, and the group seated after me is almost finished
eating.

Quoted message said:

Also
most of us are REQUIRED to say certain things during the greeting, so
please
don't interrupt our greeting and say "I want coffee", "Can we get some
bread?", or "What are the soups?"
& YOU MIGHT THINK THIS IS RUDE BUT WHERE I WORK WE HAVE TO GO TO THE
TABLE
WITHIN 30 SECONDS SO ONCE YOU SEE US APPROACH YOUR TABLE STOP YOUR
CONVERSATION [censored] & LET ME DO MY SPIEL then continue on with what
you
were saying. I had some [censored] lady talk throughout my entire greeting
process and then say "Oh, what? Water? With lemon?" Rawr.

You seem to have trouble grasping the concept of service. You are paid
and tipped because you are (supposed to be) serving the customer. We
are not being paid to serve you. Get this apparently difficult subject
through your head and loose the attitude.

Quoted message said:

11. THOSE DAMN CELL PHONES:
Don't ever talk on your cell phone in a restraunt. This is probably the

rudest thing to do. If you must be on your cell, at least keep your
voice
down in respect for other customers. If you are on your cell phone when
we
walk up to greet your table we will walk away and not return until you
get
off your phone. Just show some respect and give us your attention for a
couple of minutes.

I will not disturb your other guests, possibly even walking away from
my table if I need to take a call, but some things in life are a little
more important than dinner. Remember, I am NOT being paid to serve you.
You ARE being paid to serve me.

Quoted message said:

12. And just keep in mind that your server will do what he/she needs to
do
to make you happy. If you are polite and courteous to them, it could
make
their day/night! And they are likely to give you any and all things to
improve your visit to their restaurant. They will remember you if you
come
back in. And you will gain a good reputation at the restaurant. If you
are a
bad tipper, and we know it, you will be waited on reluctantly and with
little care. And you never do know how your food/drinks will come out.
(Again, remember Waiting.) We like people. We wouldn't wait tables for
a
living if we didn't have a little fun doing it. So, have fun with us!
But,
think, WE clean up your Ranch spills after you leave. Just remember,
you
don't have to do the dishes.

Nor do you have to do the dishes either, since you mentioned tipping
bus-boys and the like. Also, I didn''t order ranch, so the spill is
probably from the last party, and simply hasn't been cleaned off my
table yet. No, you are not going to get a bigger tip because of this.

BTW, I tip generously for excellent service. I don't tip generously to
attitude copping jerks.

Dean G.

MaryL said:

"Jude" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

Found this on another website I read, and figured it could spark some
interesting conversation around here!!

<snip>

Quoted message said:

Your thoughts?

I realize that servers depend on tips, so I usually try to be generous --
but I do vary the amount depending on quality of service and cost of food.
For a normal meal, I almost always start at 15% and go up to 20%. If
service is terrible, my tip will also be terrible (which is very rare). I
sometimes buy takeout and am puzzled about the appropriate amount. I think
tips should be provided because it is still a service, but I'm not sure of
the amount -- I usually tip 10% or 12% for carryout. If the meal is
extremely cheap, my tip (proportionately) will go up because the server
still has to the same amount of work. If the meal is extremely expensive,
my tip will be a slightly lower percentage *unless* it is a restaurant where
more than one person serves the table.

I would much rather eliminate tips and have the cost absorbed as a normal
part of the meal -- that is, raise the cost of meals and let me see exactly
what it will cost. Since that is not going to happen, I resent it when tips
are automatically added for groups. That eliminates even a pretense that
the tip is for service rendered because any server (good or bad) will
receive the same amount.

My own salary has gone up an average of 1% (yes, 1%) a year for several
years. So, the argument about cost of living leaves me in the dust.

MaryL

I don't think you need to tip for takeout since the wait staff often is
not involved in it's preparation. My general rule is 20% for good normal
service and 10% for buffets where the wait staff is only taking away
plates and perhaps getting drinks. I will readily tip 1% for abysmal
service and 50% for exceptional service.

Pete C.

Pete C. said:

Additionally, when two tables that were seated after my table are served
before my table,

Oh, I forgot that one. That never makes me happy! Even worse, when the
people who came in and wer still waiting when you were seated are
FINISHED AND LEAVING just as your entree arrives.

"Jude" <[email hidden]> hitched up their panties and posted
news:[email hidden]:

Quoted message said:

Found this on another website I read, and figured it could spark some
interesting conversation around here!!

The next time you're out eating at a resturant, look at your server. Do
you
think they are really happy to be doing that job? The answer is no,
they are
not, but it's what we do, and we do it for the money so please help
them
out. Its a tougher job than you think and you should pay them
accordingly!

There are SO many people out there flooding the restaurants w/o any
knowledge of how to tip. Here is a short guide for the general public
to
follow. Feel free to print out and store in your wallet and/or purse.

1. CHILDREN "THE LITTLE DEVILS":
If you have children, DO NOT let them, open and dump anything on the
table
(ie; salt, sugar, etc). IF YOU DO, you must leave an extra $5 for the
server
to clean up YOUR CHILD'S mess & to restock the now unusable wasted
items. We
are neither their babysitter nor their parent. The least you can do is
pay
us for the extra work. Also make sure you control your kids and don't
let
them scream or run around the restraunt. It's very distracting not to
mention dangerous if they get ran over by a server with hot food in
their
hands.

Personally I think the article is written out of sarcasm. However, I DO
agree with #1. I really detest eating next to a table full of ill behaved
children and I'm sure the server hates waiting on them. Well behaved kids
are fine. Unfortunately finding those in dining establishments is like
finding a needle in the haystack.

Michael

--
“It requires a certain kind of mind to see beauty in a hamburger bun.”
_Ray Kroc, creator of the McDonald's franchise

aem said:

Jude said:

[snip]
5. When you know I'm close to finnishsed, dessert has been ordered or
turned down, coffee has been consumed or denied, drinks are empty, for
heaven's sake, don't make me chase you down for the check. You know I'm
almost done. If I have to ask another server to find you or stand up
and put on my coat to get someone to notice that I want my check,
you'll notice it in your tip.

Yes, most of the time, but in several cultures it is considered rude to
bring a check before it is asked for. So if you're at a nice Japanese
restaraurant, to name one, you should expect to have to ask for it.
Just looking in the server's direction should do it, you shouldn't need
all the arm waving and standing up. :-) -aem

Of course I don't mind asking for the check. I mind having to hunt you
down so I can ask you for the check. I'm referring to the times that
you've caught the server's eye, but they turned away. Then you've
politely raised a hand at them when they pass by, and they keep pasing
by. The third time I'm having to get my server's attention, I'm
wondering why they are so inattentive, and why they hell do I have to
extend a full arm and wave it in the air to get you to notice that I
need something? For pete's sake, it's been 15 minutes since we saw you
last, weren't you aware that we were pretty close to being ready to go?

I had a meal a few weeks ago where it got to the point of absurd. I
gestured for our server at least a half a dozen times, and by the time
I stood up and waved both arms over my head in criss-cross fashion, the
manager came over and asked if there was a problem. The other tables
around us saw me waving and were laughing along with us at the server's
oblivion. I asked the manager to send my server over as we had been
trying to get her attention for no less than 10 minutes - to alert her
to the hair that was in my food when she served it. MMM, mmmmm.

Quoted message said:

Hmm: What's wrong with this paragraph? The cost of living has gone
up: doesn't that include RESTAURANT PRICES? Why on *earth* would we
need to tip more? 15% of an entree whose price has doubled in the last
few years means you get double your *tip*. Spare me this BS that 18%
is the "minimum." Hell, ZERO is the minimum, and I'm happy to give it
to spoiled waitstaff who resent the fact people don't bolt their food
and *leave*. If I get good service I'm happy to spring for 15+%, but I
resent your math-retarded proclamation here.

When I was first dating my wife back in the early 70s we used to go to a
nice restaurant and get an appetizer for $2.50 , a nice entree for $4.50,
dessert for $2.50. coffee for 50 cents. and a bottle of wine for $10, so
total dinner would be in around $30 (plus tax) so an appropriate tip would
be $4.50.

Those same restaurants now charge close $10 or more for appetizers. Entrees
start at $30, desserts are at least $10, coffee is $2 and wines start at
$30 a bottle, so now the dinner for two (excluding tax) is close to $135
and a 15% tip would make it $20.25

In that same time, the minimum wage here has gone from $1.80 to $7.75 per
hour ($6.75 for people serving alcohol)

Michael \'Dog3\' Lonergan said:

Personally I think the article is written out of sarcasm. However, I DO
agree with #1. I really detest eating next to a table full of ill behaved
children and I'm sure the server hates waiting on them. Well behaved kids
are fine. Unfortunately finding those in dining establishments is like
finding a needle in the haystack.

Nuts to the extra $5 to the server to clean off the table because mess the
kids make. Use the $5 to ward the bills of the dinners at the next table(s)
who had to endure the noise, the banging, and worst of the repeated threats of
dire consequences that we all know the kid will never see.

I have one good thing to say about McDonalds. It is a kid friendly place where
people can take their brats and indulge them while I have a nice meal in a
nice restaurant with real food that sometimes doesn't look and taste exactly
like every other portion served.

"MaryL" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:0a2Nf.134684$0G.55018@dukeread10...

Quoted message said:

Here is one of my pet peeves regarding service -- that is, the server who
brings *everything* (soup, salad, meal) at one time. I recently brought
this to a waitresses attention, and she started to do nothing. I persisted
and pointed out that the meal would be cold by the time I got to it, so she
offered to take it back and put it under the warmer. I accepted, and it
actually was pretty good when served, but this should not happen. (I
tipped, but less than usual because the service was less than usual.)
Ironically, the restaurant was not busy.

MaryL

Jude said:

aem said:

Jude said:

[snip]
5. When you know I'm close to finnishsed, dessert has been ordered
or turned down, coffee has been consumed or denied, drinks are
empty, for heaven's sake, don't make me chase you down for the
check. You know I'm almost done. If I have to ask another server to
find you or stand up and put on my coat to get someone to notice
that I want my check, you'll notice it in your tip.

Yes, most of the time, but in several cultures it is considered rude
to bring a check before it is asked for. So if you're at a nice
Japanese restaraurant, to name one, you should expect to have to
ask for it. Just looking in the server's direction should do it, you
shouldn't need all the arm waving and standing up. :-) -aem

Of course I don't mind asking for the check. I mind having to hunt you
down so I can ask you for the check. I'm referring to the times that
you've caught the server's eye, but they turned away.

What I *hated* about being a server was being told I had to slap the meal
check on the table as soon as I delivered the food (it was policy at this
place). It made me feel like I was metaphorically saying, "Okay, we're
done". I always checked back with my customers; always walked around with
water and tea to refill glasses and see if anyone needed anything else.
It's true we needed the tables to turn to make more money, but as a practice
I couldn't stand doing that. I didn't want someone to scarf their meal down
and run because they felt rushed or unwelcome.

Jill

"Nancy Young" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

We need to write Restaurant Rules written by your customer,
that's what I think.

I'll start.

Don't make me drag out a bull horn or strain my neck
looking around for you. Notice that I need another drink,
my bill, whatever. You will [censored] me off if you just abandon
me there, wondering where you went.

Notice I didn't say Ask me if everything is okay. You will
know because you will notice me looking around to get your
attention because I need something. If you're paying attention.

nancy

Ooo! I wanna play!
Ok, first, let's deal with this part of the long winded whiny rant:
"It is not 1960. Cost of living has gone up dramatically since then. 18%
is the MINIMUM amount of what you should be tipping your servers."

Yes, you're right...it's not 1960. That means I'm paying $10 for a burger
instead of $1 in some places. That means I'm paying $30 for a steak instead
of $7. So your tip has already grown with the times. Give it up.

The whole rant sounded exactly how most service one encounters now-a-days
IS. Whiny, petulant, demanding, and assuming. Which is why your tips suffer.

There are SO many things to add to a list of rules for servers. For one,
when I am seated, I don't mind waiting a few minutes for a server to come to
the table. It gives me a chance to get settled and such. Notice I said a
*few* minutes. 10 minutes? That's more than a few. When you see me being
seated, give me a moment to settle and then get over there to ask about
drinks and if I have any questions about the menu, etc.

When you screw up, as all humans do, do not get defensive or just abandon
the table and get someone else to bring the food out or the check out. Admit
it, apologize, and move on!

When you're told the food is terrible, do not reply with "That's how we make
it here" or "That's how it always is". Why on earth would you tell a
customer that your food always sucks???

When my glass has about 1/4 to 1/3 of the beverage remaining, refill it.
It's such a simple thing to do! And believe me when I say that if I have to
choke down the last of my food without a beverage, your tip will reflect my
unhappiness! Also, if I order iced tea, *please* get the iced part in the
tea.

Do not assume that your tip is mandatory in any way, or that you deserve it
without earning it!! If you want a good tip, be a good server. Notice my
needs, they aren't that hard to figure out! Be attentive enough to see when
I need you. Do NOT ignore my party of 2 for your party of 8 because they'll
owe a larger tip. If you can't handle the additional tables, tell your
manager and find someone who can. I don't deserve less service because my
party is smaller.

Don't argue with me about my order. Ever. This may sound pompous or
arrogant, but I am not paying money to have to argue with a server about
what I ordered when they get it wrong. Just last week I had my order come to
the table with the steak medium well instead of medium. The server looked me
in the eye and told me that was how I ordered it. What?!?! I think I know
how I like my steak.

If I am there with my child, acknowledge her. Don't look at me and ask what
she'd like. She has a voice and has been ordering her own food since she was
3. At 11, she is more than capable of telling you what she'd like.

Act like you want to be there, not like we are annoying or bothering you by
our mere presence. If you don't want to be there, then get another job!
Don't take a job that doesn't pay you the way you think you deserve, and
then whine to your customers about it. Don't assume it's my problem. It
isn't.

And a bonus for managers:
When there is a problem with your server, do not come to me, the customer,
and say "It's been really busy" as if that explains bad service, or "He/She
is new" as if that means I should accept bad service unquestioningly. It
isn't my job to train your waitstaff, and if you don't have enough of it to
get all the tables served, then hire more or get out there and help. Don't
make excuses for bad service; address the problem and fix it if you are
able, and compensate for it if you are not.

Ok, I am done now. Anyone else? 😉

kimberly

"Jude" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

Found this on another website I read, and figured it could spark some
interesting conversation around here!!

The next time you're out eating at a resturant, look at your server. Do
you
think they are really happy to be doing that job? The answer is no,
they are
not, but it's what we do, and we do it for the money so please help
them
out. Its a tougher job than you think and you should pay them
accordingly!

First, if you're unhappy in your work, find other work. Don't expect me to
pay you to be miserable around me. I don't care for the negative energy.
Also, your employer should be paying you accordingly, not me.

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1. CHILDREN "THE LITTLE DEVILS":
If you have children, DO NOT let them, open and dump anything on the
table
(ie; salt, sugar, etc). IF YOU DO, you must leave an extra $5 for the
server
to clean up YOUR CHILD'S mess & to restock the now unusable wasted
items. We
are neither their babysitter nor their parent. The least you can do is
pay
us for the extra work. Also make sure you control your kids and don't
let
them scream or run around the restraunt. It's very distracting not to
mention dangerous if they get ran over by a server with hot food in
their
hands.

My daughter knows better than to run around or scream in a restaurant. As
for spills, I've seen adult spill as often as children, and if I spill
something, don't expect extra pay for it.

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2. "THE CAMPERS":
If you feel the necessity to stay for longer than 15 minutes after you
pay,
its an extra $3 every 30 minutes. We make our money from the tables. If
you
are in one and we can't seat it, we don't make money.

If I'm there longer than 15 minutes after my meal, it's because you haven't
brought me the bill or returned it with my card. Or you brought the bill
without asking if we'd like dessert, and you still need to adjust it.

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3. COMPLIMENTS:
Telling a server they are the best server they've ever had is not a
tip. If
we are good, let us know by leaving us more money. We cant pay our
bills on
compliments. Its not that we don't appreciate the praise, its just that
if
you say that and then leave 10% it's an insult.

Clearly with your attitude, you've only heard rumors of this happening.

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5. TIPPING:
It is not 1960. Cost of living has gone up dramatically since then. 18%
is
the MINIMUM amount of what you should be tipping your servers.

Yes, this is not 1960, and the cost of dining out has gone up dramatically
as well. Since your tip is based on that, it's gone up dramatically as well
too. Can the minimum required act...I don't buy it.

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6. THE COMPLAINERS:
If you get a discount because of your food was prepared wrong or
something,
do not take it out of our tip. We didn't cook it. The cooks get paid
hourly
regardless if the food sucks. However, we only make what you give us.
(Plus,
remember what happens in the movie "Waiting" when you [censored] and then
send
something back!!! Just kidding, that barely EVER happens....)

Yeah, making threats of tampering with someone's food will get you a great
tip. Just kidding, that barely EVER happens....

If there is a problem with the way my food is prepared, I blame the chef,
not the waitstaff. However, if there's a problem with how long it takes you
to bring it to me, because you've left it sitting under a heat lamp for the
last 20 minutes, that IS your problem.

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7. THE FREE STUFF:
If you happen to get anything for free and you did not have a problem
with
your dining experience, most of the time it is because the server
thinks you
will realize that they are giving it to you for free. There should be
extra
tip thanking the server for the free item. They could get in a lot of
trouble giving away free stuff. You should give them hazard pay for it.

If they bring me something I didn't ask for and it isn't something I want,
I'm not going to pay extra for that. If it's something I wanted and they
bring it without my asking or don't charge me for it on the bill, I tip
accordingly.

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8. THE LATE ONES:
If you come into the restraunt 10 mins before closing or any time near
closing hurry up and order your food and get out. Closed means closed,
not
social hour. It is so rude to sit there and take your sweet ass time.
We
can't leave until you leave because we have to do sidework and clean
the
table you are sitting at. We don't want to stand there waiting for you
for
an extra hour just because you don't want to go home. We recommend 24
hour
establishments such as Dennys if you wish to sit into the wee hours of
the
night.

First, I almost NEVER see waitstaff cleaning the tables, ever. Second, if I
am served when I arrive close to closing, then I will eat my food at a
normal pace. If you don't want to serve people that arrive close to closing
time, simply say "We're no longer seating for this evening. Please come back
another time." I'd probably get better service at Denny's or IHOP anyway.

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9. THE TABLE HOGGERS:
If you only come in for coffee or a dessert, to do paper work, or to
have a
meeting, don't sit there taking up our booths for hours. We are not
Starbucks or a hotel restraunt. If you want to sit for hours, go there
or
else you better leave a good tip for us and camping fee included.

Get real. I've yet to go into a crowded restaurant and see someone doing
paperwork. Cafe's are another story. If you advertise free internet, don't
whine when people show up to use it! And if I want to have a meeting in a
restaurant, that's my business. As long as I am also dining, whatever else I
do with my time there is really and truly not any of your business. It isn't
like anyone goes to Morton's and breaks out the spreadsheets.

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10. THE GREET:
When we come up to the table to greet you and we ask how you are doing
please let us know. We honestly want to know how you are doing. If you
are
in a bad mood we want to know that from the beginning. A confused stare
or
complete silence does not suffice as a reply to "How are you doing?".
Also
most of us are REQUIRED to say certain things during the greeting, so
please
don't interrupt our greeting and say "I want coffee", "Can we get some
bread?", or "What are the soups?"
& YOU MIGHT THINK THIS IS RUDE BUT WHERE I WORK WE HAVE TO GO TO THE
TABLE
WITHIN 30 SECONDS SO ONCE YOU SEE US APPROACH YOUR TABLE STOP YOUR
CONVERSATION [censored] & LET ME DO MY SPIEL then continue on with what
you
were saying. I had some [censored] lady talk throughout my entire greeting
process and then say "Oh, what? Water? With lemon?" Rawr.

Yes I imagine with your "STOP YOUR CONVERSATION [censored]" that you arrive
politely and address people with respect.

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11. THOSE DAMN CELL PHONES:
Don't ever talk on your cell phone in a restraunt. This is probably the

rudest thing to do. If you must be on your cell, at least keep your
voice
down in respect for other customers. If you are on your cell phone when
we
walk up to greet your table we will walk away and not return until you
get
off your phone. Just show some respect and give us your attention for a

couple of minutes.

If I'm on my phone, it's because there is an urgent need for me to be. It
trumps your needs.

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12. And just keep in mind that your server will do what he/she needs to
do
to make you happy. If you are polite and courteous to them, it could
make
their day/night! And they are likely to give you any and all things to
improve your visit to their restaurant. They will remember you if you
come
back in. And you will gain a good reputation at the restaurant. If you
are a
bad tipper, and we know it, you will be waited on reluctantly and with
little care. And you never do know how your food/drinks will come out.
(Again, remember Waiting.)

Wait, I thought this never happens?

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We like people. We wouldn't wait tables for
a
living if we didn't have a little fun doing it. So, have fun with us!
But,
think, WE clean up your Ranch spills after you leave. Just remember,
you
don't have to do the dishes.

Neither do you. And if it's so fun, why don't you like your job (as you
state in the beginning of this whining rant)? And if there's ranch spilled,
it's usually NEVER the server who cleans it up.

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And smiles go a long way.

Lost your attitude and you might get more smiles.

kimberly