Request for clean cycling jokes

"James Hodson" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

Hi all

My LBS often has a blackboard outside its door. During the major tours
the winner of the previous day's stage and the current leaders in each
category are written upon it.

For the rest of the year, short, pithy, cycling-related comments or
cycling jokes can be seen.

Today, Michael, the boss, commented to me that he was running out of
suitable material.

Does anyone have anything suitable that I could send to him?

The jokes and comments must be quite short, three or four short
sentences at most, because of the blackboard's size.

Why do bikes have saddles - So the [censored] has something to sit on :O)

Quoted message said:

Cheers
James

James Hodson said:

Does anyone have anything suitable that I could send to him?

Quoted message said:

The jokes and comments must be quite short, three or four short
sentences at most, because of the blackboard's size.

What has two wheels and you can't see it?

A bicycle around the corner!

Roos

In article <[email hidden]>, [email hidden]
says...

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

Does anyone have anything suitable that I could send to him?

Quoted message said:

The jokes and comments must be quite short, three or four short
sentences at most, because of the blackboard's size.

My bikes got no nose....

--
Mark (MSA)
______________________________________________
Remember, half the people you know are below average

MSA said:

My bikes got no nose....

How does it smell?
--
Cheerful Pedalling
John Mallard

John Mallard said:

MSA said:

My bikes got no nose....

How does it smell?

Awful!

IGMC
...d

Pete: I met this old cyclist the other day with a wooden leg called Bill.
Joe: Really? What was his other leg called?

(with apologies to Mary Poppins).

...d

How about doing this in stages:
A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle
A man needs a sushi when a woman is an icicle
A man needs a car to zip across town
To order a tuna and gobble it down.
The tuna needs cars to be partially banned
And bicycles reintroduced to the land
A person would need to be radically pushy
To pedal for miles in teh rain for a sushi
Better to stay home with noodles for dinner
The man and the tuna would both be the winner
The world needs to get itself out of a pickle
A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle.

David Martin said:

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

My bikes got no nose....

How does it smell?

Awful!

*Badum TISH!*

--

Call me "Bob"

"More oneness, less categories,
Open hearts, no strategies"

Email address is spam trapped, to reply directly remove the beverage.

David Martin said:

How about doing this in stages:
A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle
A man needs a sushi when a woman is an icicle
A man needs a car to zip across town
To order a tuna and gobble it down.
The tuna needs cars to be partially banned
And bicycles reintroduced to the land
A person would need to be radically pushy
To pedal for miles in teh rain for a sushi
Better to stay home with noodles for dinner
The man and the tuna would both be the winner
The world needs to get itself out of a pickle
A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle.

Best one to date :-)

However, my LBS's blackboard is very small.

James

"James Hodson" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

Hi all

What's the definition of the final control on a 600km Audax?

A site for sore thighs!

Did you hear about the dyslexic campanologist?

Came last in the chime trial!

I'll get my coat.

Rich said:

Did you hear about the dyslexic campanologist?

Came last in the chime trial!

A couple of dyslexic cyclists have decided they'll get some winter
training in and head off to the snow covered hills. They're going up a
particularly big local drag and it's causing problems, so they take a
breather and watch the folk sledging. Once they've got their breath
back they start discussing how to get up the rest of the steep hill.
Lower gears, obviously, but not an immediate fix, so one suggests they
zog zeg, but the other one isn't sure and things it's zug zyg. They
debate this for some time, and decide to ask a passing sledger. Not
really sure what they're on about he just replies, "Don't ask me mate,
I'm a tobogganist!".
<punchline>
"Oh, in that case can I have 20 Rothmans please?"
</punchline>

B'booom tssssss!

Like a joke... but not as funny.

Pete.
--
Peter Clinch Medical Physics IT Officer
Tel 44 1382 660111 ext. 33637 Univ. of Dundee, Ninewells Hospital
Fax 44 1382 640177 Dundee DD1 9SY Scotland UK
net [email hidden] http://www.dundee.ac.uk/~pjclinch/

Call me Bob said:

*Badum TISH!*

Did you hear the one about the cyclist who crashed into a drum kit?
*Badum TISH!*

Peter Clinch said:

"Don't ask me mate,
I'm a tobogganist!".
<punchline>
"Oh, in that case can I have 20 Rothmans please?"
</punchline>

May I draw the Hon. Gentleman's attention to the cover of BHPC Newsletter
#56, a facsimile of which may be viewed at here:

<UTL: http://legslarry.8bit.co.uk/BikeStull/Ostrad.jpg>

I thang yow!

--

Dave Larrington - http://www.legslarry.beerdrinkers.co.uk/
World Domination?
Just find a world that's into that kind of thing, then chain to the
floor and walk up and down on it in high heels. (Mr. Sunshine)

"James Hodson" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...

Why do unattended bicycles fall over

Because they are too tired

James Hodson wrote:

There's always the old classic:

Engineering student to engineering student:
"Like your new bike, where did you get it"
"You'll never believe this but I was walking across campus when this
beautiful girl cycles up to me, throw off all her clothes and tells me
to take whatever I want"
"Good decision, the clothes probably wouldn't have fitted you"

Badoom ching.

Tony

in message <[email hidden]>, Dave Larrington

(') said:

Peter Clinch said:

"Don't ask me mate,
I'm a tobogganist!".
<punchline>
"Oh, in that case can I have 20 Rothmans please?"
</punchline>

May I draw the Hon. Gentleman's attention to the cover of BHPC
Newsletter
#56, a facsimile of which may be viewed at here:

<UTL: http://legslarry.8bit.co.uk/BikeStull/Ostrad.jpg>

Is there a closeup or more detailed picture of that front fork
somewhere? It seemeth to me to have anti-dive geometry, which would be
Most Interesting.

--
[email hidden] (Simon Brooke) http://www.jasmine.org.uk/~simon/
Windows 95:
You, you, you! You make a grown man cry...
M. Jagger/K. Richards

Simon Brooke said:

in message <[email hidden]>, Dave Larrington

(') said:

Peter Clinch said:

"Don't ask me mate,
I'm a tobogganist!".
<punchline>
"Oh, in that case can I have 20 Rothmans please?"
</punchline>

May I draw the Hon. Gentleman's attention to the cover of BHPC
Newsletter
#56, a facsimile of which may be viewed at here:

<UTL: http://legslarry.8bit.co.uk/BikeStull/Ostrad.jpg>

Is there a closeup or more detailed picture of that front fork
somewhere? It seemeth to me to have anti-dive geometry, which would be
Most Interesting.

Try <URL: http://tandem-fahren.de/Modelle/Lieger/janus3.jpg>

--

Dave Larrington - http://www.legslarry.beerdrinkers.co.uk/
World Domination?
Just find a world that's into that kind of thing, then chain to the
floor and walk up and down on it in high heels. (Mr. Sunshine)

James Hodson popped their head over the parapet saw what was going on
and said

Quoted message said:

David Martin said:

How about doing this in stages:
A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle
A man needs a sushi when a woman is an icicle
A man needs a car to zip across town
To order a tuna and gobble it down.
The tuna needs cars to be partially banned
And bicycles reintroduced to the land
A person would need to be radically pushy
To pedal for miles in teh rain for a sushi
Better to stay home with noodles for dinner
The man and the tuna would both be the winner
The world needs to get itself out of a pickle
A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle.

Best one to date :-)

However, my LBS's blackboard is very small.

James

Note the first bit :-
"How about doing this in STAGES"

--
yours S

Nihil curo de ista tua stulta superstitione