In January 1991, my wife and I were driving from Evansville, Indiana
to Lexington, Kentucky when we got caught in a snow storm just before
we could cross over the Ohio River. A bulletin we heard on rental car
radio warned of "black ice" and we pulled off the highway into a Motel
6 somewhere close to the river.
The only other thing around besides trees was a giant gas station and
an all you can eat restaurant next door. From the number of big rigs
in the parking lot, it was obviously a truckstop too and we were lucky
to have got the last room available.
By the time dinner rolled around, I was pretty hungry, so the idea of
all you can eat really appealed - especially since I could pick and
choose what I wanted.
One of the first things I noticed when we entered the place is that I
was almost the only male not wearing a baseball cap. The second thing,
at nearly 6'3" and just under two hundred pounds, I was not only one
of the slimmest people around, but my wife looked like an anorexic
waif. It was like walking into a convention full of failed
weight-watchers.
Nevertheless, our attention soon focused on a long, well stocked
display of food - with an amazing selection of cooked meats, stews,
pasta-meat dishes and fried foods on one side and chicken, fish,
coldcuts, cheeses, salads, cooked vegetables and desserts on the
other.
Normally, my wife and I eat a lot of fresh salads and can usually get
something close in restaurants when we travel (Britain excluded). But
we'd been staying with family and fresh salads were clearly not on the
menu - which is not all that surprising considering the season.
Unfortunately, neither were vegetables that hadn't been cooked to
death. So, even though we'd had lots of cooked peas and mashed
potatoes that were fine, we hadn't had a decent salad or eatable
vegetables in days.
We usually eat salad after our main course, but that night we started
out by loading our plates with green salads (pass on the under-ripe
tomatoes) and hoed in like undernourished guinea pigs.
Then we served ourselves some chicken and potatoes with even more
salad and, since I had done the driving, I also had some potato salad,
some pasta salad and some cheese (wouldn't want to waste away).
That course did it for my wife, but I was hungry for more (never could
say no) and got up for another helping when a huge - and I mean HUGE -
guy in overalls that must have been from Tent City tapped me on the
shoulder and said, "Guess you folks aren't from around here."
"Nope," I replied. "We live in New Zealand."
"That's OK," he said as if I'd just told him my horse had just died.
"We get all sorts."
"It's just that we couldn't help but notice that you've been doing all
your eating from this side of Food Island ... and, well ... we were
wondering if you knew that you can have anything you want from
anywhere you want."
Not knowing where this was leading, I mumbled something neutral like
"Oh ..."
"So I just want you folks to know," he said, pointing to the other
side of Food Island where the meat was, "the REAL food is over there."
After thanking him, I waited until he disappeared around the side of
the island with the REAL food and quickly loaded my plate with more
chicken, and salads. But we both passed on the desserts, which looked
pretty disgusting.
On our way out, I noticed that my huge friend was sitting at booth
with other huge people, demolishing a plate heaped with what looked
like roast beef and mashed potatoes. Everyone, including the women,
wore baseball caps.
"Now you take care and come back," he boomed across the room as we
stood paying the bill. "Bet they don't have places like this way up
there in New Zealand."
--
una cerveza mas por favor ...
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