OT: When I rule the world...

Just zis Guy said:

1. My Legions of Terror will have helmets with clear
plexiglass visors, not face-concealing ones.

2. My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl
through.

<etc.>

Cheapass Games used to do a silly but fun cardgame called
"Before I Kill You, Mr. Bond" where you lure master spies to
your Secret Lair and decide whether to kill them straight
away (easy, but not many points) or Taunt them (for far more
points). Taunts are things such as "Before I kill you,
Mister Bond, sign this confession of your own incompetence
with your ordinary looking fountain pen" or "allow me to
show the extent of my depravity by hunting you on my wild
game preserve" and so on. Of course, taunting generally
backfires, the spy escapes and blows up your carefully
constructed Lair.

The legal folk at MGM or whoever control the Bond franchise
couldn't stomach anyone else using their brand name and
making money on it, so the game is now out of print, though
a modified version with a new name should appear in October
(see cheapass.comcheapass.comOpen ↗)

Pete.
--
Peter Clinch Medical Physics IT Officer Tel 44 1382 660111
ext. 33637 Univ. of Dundee, Ninewells Hospital Fax 44 1382
640177 Dundee DD1 9SY Scotland UK net
[email hidden] dundee.ac.uk~pjclinchOpen ↗

"Just zis Guy, you know?" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
"]news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

Seen elsewhere, I found it very most amusing :-)

<url:http://www.eviloverlord.com/lists/overlord.html>

Top ten things I'll do when I become an Evil Overlord:

1. My Legions of Terror will have helmets with clear
plexiglass visors, not face-concealing ones.

2. My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl
through.

3. My noble half-brother whose throne I usurped will be
killed, not kept anonymously imprisoned in a forgotten
cell of my dungeon.

4. Shooting is not too good for my enemies.

5. The artifact which is the source of my power will not
be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of
Fire guarded by the Dragons of Eternity. It will be in
my safe-deposit box. The same applies to the object
which is my one weakness.

6. I will not gloat over my enemies' predicament before
killing them.

7. When I've captured my adversary and he says, "Look,
before you kill me, will you at least tell me what this
is all about?" I'll say, "No." and shoot him. No, on
second thought I'll shoot him then say "No."

8. After I kidnap the beautiful princess, we will be
married immediately in a quiet civil ceremony, not a
lavish spectacle in three weeks' time during which the
final phase of my plan will be carried out.

9. I will not include a self-destruct mechanism unless
absolutely necessary. If it is necessary, it will not
be a large red button labelled "Danger: Do Not Push".
The big red button marked "Do Not Push" will instead
trigger a spray of bullets on anyone stupid enough to
disregard it. Similarly, the ON/OFF switch will not
clearly be labelled as such.

10, I will not interrogate my enemies in the inner
sanctum -- a small hotel well outside my borders will
work just as well.

Hey Guy, thanks for digging this up! I came across it once,
but to my eternal consternation, I couldn't remember the
link. It's going straight into my bookmark list.

--
Akin

aknak at aksoto dot idps dot co dot uk

Quoted message said:

The legal folk at MGM or whoever control the Bond franchise couldn't
stomach anyone else using their brand name and making money on it, so
the game is now out of print, though a modified version with a new
name should appear in October (see cheapass.comcheapass.comOpen ↗)

Couldn't find it, not even under 'coming soon'. Any chance
of a direct link?

Mark Thompson said:

Couldn't find it, not even under 'coming soon'. Any chance
of a direct=

=20

Quoted message said:

link?

Near the bottom of the Home Page,

"In October, get ready for the return of the blockbuster
card game=20 Before I Kill You, Mister (name deleted), with
a new name, new art,=20 flashy full-color production, and
subtle improvements that make this the =

best (name deleted) ever! Look for the winner of our name
contest in the =

next few weeks. We're still reviewing the more than 1100
entries we=20 received, looking for that one good one"

In the news archive,

"Bond Contest Closed April First was your last chance to
enter the contest and rename Before=20 I Kill You, Mister
Bond=85, the classic Cheapass game of villainy,=20 risk-
taking, and copyright infringement. Now James Ernest and his
team=20 of callous sophisticates will slog through the
(literally!) hundreds of=20 new name submissions to find the
shining nugget of clever in the inky=20 sea of stupid.
Rejected so far have been dozens of new versions of the=20
same thing that got us in trouble in the first place,
including the=20 undisputed winner of the "loser of the
contest" contest, "Say a Little=20 Prayer, Mister Bond."
Look for the winner in the next couple weeks, and=20 tell
all your friends to buy the new game this Fall"

So you can't get the game yet. I have the original and
it's a fun=20 filler, but only worth playing if
everyone's happy to be silly rather=20 than actually try
hard to win the game.

Cheapass do some fun stuff, and they're, well, /cheap/.
Cluedo fans (or =

maybe Cluedo haters) may like "Kill Dr. Lucky" which is a
sort of Cluedo =

prequel, where you have to commit the murder rather than
solve it. I=20 also have "The Very Clever Pipe Game",
which is, errr, very clever, and=20 it's got pipes. So now
you know! ;-)

Pete. --=20 Peter Clinch Medical Physics IT Officer Tel 44
1382 660111 ext. 33637 Univ. of Dundee, Ninewells Hospital
Fax 44 1382 640177 Dundee DD1 9SY Scotland UK net
[email hidden] dundee.ac.uk~pjclinchOpen ↗

Peter Clinch said:

Cheapass do some fun stuff, and they're, well, /cheap/.
Cluedo fans (or maybe Cluedo haters) may like "Kill Dr.
Lucky" which is a sort of Cluedo prequel, where you have
to commit the murder rather than solve it. I also have
"The Very Clever Pipe Game", which is, errr, very clever,
and it's got pipes. So now you know! ;-)

I feel compelled to add a recommendation for "The Great
Brain Robbery" at this point. I really must get my own copy.

--
Danny Colyer (the UK company has been laughed out of my
reply address)
<URL:http://www.speedy5.freeserve.co.uk/danny/> "He who
dares not offend cannot be honest." - Thomas Paine