OT: When I rule the world...

Just zis Guy said:

1. My Legions of Terror will have helmets with clear plexiglass
visors, not face-concealing ones.

2. My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through.

<etc.>

Cheapass Games used to do a silly but fun cardgame called "Before I Kill
You, Mr. Bond" where you lure master spies to your Secret Lair and
decide whether to kill them straight away (easy, but not many points) or
Taunt them (for far more points). Taunts are things such as "Before I
kill you, Mister Bond, sign this confession of your own incompetence
with your ordinary looking fountain pen" or "allow me to show the extent
of my depravity by hunting you on my wild game preserve" and so on.
Of course, taunting generally backfires, the spy escapes and blows up
your carefully constructed Lair.

The legal folk at MGM or whoever control the Bond franchise couldn't
stomach anyone else using their brand name and making money on it, so
the game is now out of print, though a modified version with a new name
should appear in October (see http://www.cheapass.com/)

Pete.
--
Peter Clinch Medical Physics IT Officer
Tel 44 1382 660111 ext. 33637 Univ. of Dundee, Ninewells Hospital
Fax 44 1382 640177 Dundee DD1 9SY Scotland UK
net [email hidden] http://www.dundee.ac.uk/~pjclinch/

"Just zis Guy, you know?" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

Seen elsewhere, I found it very most amusing :-)

<url:http://www.eviloverlord.com/lists/overlord.html>

Top ten things I'll do when I become an Evil Overlord:

1. My Legions of Terror will have helmets with clear plexiglass
visors, not face-concealing ones.

2. My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through.

3. My noble half-brother whose throne I usurped will be killed, not
kept anonymously imprisoned in a forgotten cell of my dungeon.

4. Shooting is not too good for my enemies.

5. The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on
the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the
Dragons of Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box. The same
applies to the object which is my one weakness.

6. I will not gloat over my enemies' predicament before killing them.

7. When I've captured my adversary and he says, "Look, before you kill
me, will you at least tell me what this is all about?" I'll say, "No."
and shoot him. No, on second thought I'll shoot him then say "No."

8. After I kidnap the beautiful princess, we will be married
immediately in a quiet civil ceremony, not a lavish spectacle in three
weeks' time during which the final phase of my plan will be carried
out.

9. I will not include a self-destruct mechanism unless absolutely
necessary. If it is necessary, it will not be a large red button
labelled "Danger: Do Not Push". The big red button marked "Do Not
Push" will instead trigger a spray of bullets on anyone stupid enough
to disregard it. Similarly, the ON/OFF switch will not clearly be
labelled as such.

10, I will not interrogate my enemies in the inner sanctum -- a small
hotel well outside my borders will work just as well.

Hey Guy, thanks for digging this up! I came across it once,
but to my eternal consternation, I couldn't remember the link.
It's going straight into my bookmark list.

--
Akin

aknak at aksoto dot idps dot co dot uk

Quoted message said:

The legal folk at MGM or whoever control the Bond franchise couldn't
stomach anyone else using their brand name and making money on it, so
the game is now out of print, though a modified version with a new
name should appear in October (see http://www.cheapass.com/)

Couldn't find it, not even under 'coming soon'. Any chance of a direct
link?

Mark Thompson said:

Couldn't find it, not even under 'coming soon'. Any chance of a direct=

=20

Quoted message said:

link?

Near the bottom of the Home Page,

"In October, get ready for the return of the blockbuster card game=20
Before I Kill You, Mister (name deleted), with a new name, new art,=20
flashy full-color production, and subtle improvements that make this the =

best (name deleted) ever! Look for the winner of our name contest in the =

next few weeks. We're still reviewing the more than 1100 entries we=20
received, looking for that one good one"

In the news archive,

"Bond Contest Closed
April First was your last chance to enter the contest and rename Before=20
I Kill You, Mister Bond=85, the classic Cheapass game of villainy,=20
risk-taking, and copyright infringement. Now James Ernest and his team=20
of callous sophisticates will slog through the (literally!) hundreds of=20
new name submissions to find the shining nugget of clever in the inky=20
sea of stupid. Rejected so far have been dozens of new versions of the=20
same thing that got us in trouble in the first place, including the=20
undisputed winner of the "loser of the contest" contest, "Say a Little=20
Prayer, Mister Bond." Look for the winner in the next couple weeks, and=20
tell all your friends to buy the new game this Fall"

So you can't get the game yet. I have the original and it's a fun=20
filler, but only worth playing if everyone's happy to be silly rather=20
than actually try hard to win the game.

Cheapass do some fun stuff, and they're, well, /cheap/. Cluedo fans (or =

maybe Cluedo haters) may like "Kill Dr. Lucky" which is a sort of Cluedo =

prequel, where you have to commit the murder rather than solve it. I=20
also have "The Very Clever Pipe Game", which is, errr, very clever, and=20
it's got pipes. So now you know! ;-)

Pete.
--=20
Peter Clinch Medical Physics IT Officer
Tel 44 1382 660111 ext. 33637 Univ. of Dundee, Ninewells Hospital
Fax 44 1382 640177 Dundee DD1 9SY Scotland UK
net [email hidden] http://www.dundee.ac.uk/~pjclinch/

Peter Clinch said:

Cheapass do some fun stuff, and they're, well, /cheap/. Cluedo fans (or
maybe Cluedo haters) may like "Kill Dr. Lucky" which is a sort of Cluedo
prequel, where you have to commit the murder rather than solve it. I
also have "The Very Clever Pipe Game", which is, errr, very clever, and
it's got pipes. So now you know! ;-)

I feel compelled to add a recommendation for "The Great Brain Robbery"
at this point. I really must get my own copy.

--
Danny Colyer (the UK company has been laughed out of my reply address)
<URL:http://www.speedy5.freeserve.co.uk/danny/>
"He who dares not offend cannot be honest." - Thomas Paine