OT: The Torygraph again... sorry

Quoted message said:

I don't recall seeing a link to this before so some might find it
amusing (Or terrifying!).

Link didn't work for me.

Is the the world blindfold speed record, by any chance? Which is how too many
motorists appear to be driving anyhow these days ;-)

Cheers, helen s

--This is an invalid email address to avoid spam--
to get correct one remove fame & fortune
h*$el*$$e*nd**$o$ts**i*$*$m*m$o*n*s@$*a$o*l.c**$om$

--Due to financial crisis the light at the end of the tunnel is switched off--

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

I don't recall seeing a link to this before so some might find it
amusing (Or terrifying!).

Link didn't work for me.

Portrait of a driver: Claudia Winkleman
(Filed: 11/09/2004)

The TV presenter talks to Richard Simpson

Claudia Winkleman, presenter of BBC3's new writing challenge series End
of Story, is living proof that you can never know what goes on inside
another motorist's head. Because long before she failed the shortest
driving test in history - of which more later - she had already developed
the most extraordinary automotive phobia. "I was scared of the cars
behind me, because I thought that they all had individual characters. The
ones with grilles seemed to be snarling at me."

You'd think Claudia failed her first test for failing to use her mirrors,
but the truth is more bizarre. "I failed so miserably. When I got into
the car I forgot how to turn it on, and then I accidentally put it in
reverse and slightly charred a brick wall."

Unsurprisingly, the examiner made his excuses and fled, which is more
than can be said for the unsuspecting shopper with whom Claudia tangled
during her next test attempt. "The most famous of all my tests was the
second. I could see the test centre ahead of me and I knew that it was a
done deal - I'd passed. But there was just this zebra crossing in front
of me…" You really don't need to know the rest, except that an
unfortunate shopper's can of tomatoes (Claudia still remembers the brand)
landed with a bang on the bonnet, whereupon she started laughing. And
that was just before the car started to roll backwards… Eventually, she
passed in an automatic: "When I passed I tried to lick the examiner, but
he wouldn't have it. He just giggled and ran off."

You will have gathered that there is a dash of eccentricity in Claudia's
motoring persona, and it runs in the family; for example, the time her
father bought a car with a sunroof: "I was 12, and my dad used to let me
stand up in it. He just told me to keep my mouth closed, or I'd eat
flies."

These days, it seems that flies are about the only thing Claudia doesn't
eat, because her list of in-car snacks is encyclopaedic. "There are
always lots of empty packets in the car, usually Twiglets or Skips, which
are the kings of in-car snacks." Kit Kat Chunky wears the Winkleman crown
for "king of chocolate snacks", but Cadbury's Buttons, she says, tend to
congeal in a hot car, and one or two always make a roll for freedom.

But isn't all that mobile grazing just a bit dangerous? "Some snacks
definitely impair my driving, but certain things are allowed because
they'll improve it. I'm convinced that salty carbohydrate snacks
definitely help." This is the first time that I've heard the health
benefits of Monster Munch espoused by anyone over seven, and she
surprises me further by adding that she's even experimented with sushi.
"I make the mistake of going to the supermarket when I'm hungry, and
sushi is quite tricky to eat. It almost always ends in tears - or soy
sauce."

It does seem that Claudia has a certain amount of previous when it comes
to untidy cars. She borrowed the family Ford Orion and enjoyed doing the
shopping run so much she did it "one satsuma at a time", while her own
first car sounds like an absolute honker. It was a 15-year-old Rover of
indeterminate type - "I could draw it for you," she offers, helpfully -
and it sounds as if the £400 she paid for it was £400 too much. "It was
deeply unattractive, and you couldn't open the driver's door, but I loved
it. It was the wagon for me and my friends, and it was a dump - there
were whole eco-systems in there. It was vile but also magnificent; a
marriage of the alarming and the fabulous."

Hyperbole aside, the Rover was a tough old bus; despite being T-boned by
a Saab, it escaped the crusher until Claudia bought a flat and could no
longer afford it. More surprising is that the Saab incident is still her
only accident, and even that one wasn't her fault. "But most things are
my fault," she adds cheerfully.

After the Rover came a Peugeot 106 - or was it a 205? In any case, she
says it was the first car she'd owned that "was actually allowed on the
road". She liked parking it anywhere, although not without a bit of
wheel-trim scuffing: "There was the odd scrape on the hubs…"

She pauses. "Don't they sound like they should be biscuits?" You'll have
gathered that it is difficult to get Claudia off the subject of snacks.
Her parents offered her things like organic pineapple as a child, but it
did no good. In fact, the only way to get her off the subject of hub-nubs
and the like is to ask her about her current Jeep.

"It's my favourite car ever. I've never felt tall in my life, but when
I'm in it I feel enormous. And, strangely, I feel slightly more
daredevil, too. We've taken it to the country, and I even went off-road
on the Isle of Wight…"

But a snack-related remark is never far away. "I feel like I've swapped
my Twiglets for a Yorkie."

• End of Story starts on BBC3 on September 19 at 7pm. See
www.bbc.co.uk/endofstory.

On 21 Sep 2004 07:45:29 GMT, Mark Thompson quoted from the Torygraph:

Quoted message said:

it is difficult to get Claudia off the subject of snacks.
... In fact, the only way to get her off the subject ...
is to ask her about her current Jeep.

"It's my favourite car ever. I've never felt tall in my life, but when
I'm in it I feel enormous. And, strangely, I feel slightly more
daredevil, too. ...

Another vote for the existence of risk compensation!

Plus an interesting take on why small women like big SUVs. Conflation
of body morphicity...

--
Cheers,
Euan
Gawnsoft: http://www.gawnsoft.co.sr
Symbian/Epoc wiki: http://html.dnsalias.net:1122
Smalltalk links (harvested from comp.lang.smalltalk) http://html.dnsalias.net/gawnsoft/smalltalk

Jon Senior said:

http://motoring.telegraph.co.uk/motoring/main.jhtml;sessionid=HRMFJOPA5K
2XBQFIQMFSNAGAVCBQ0JVC?
xml=/motoring/2004/09/10/emrport11.xml&pos=motoring_puff2&_requestid=
62949

Un-PC I know, but my main reaction to this article was: who gave this
brainless [censored] space in the paper in the first place?

Guy
--
May contain traces of irony. Contents liable to settle after posting.
http://www.chapmancentral.co.uk

88% of helmet statistics are made up, 65% of them at Washington
University

Just zis Guy said:

Un-PC I know, but my main reaction to this article was: who gave this
brainless [censored] space in the paper in the first place?

and thats why I don't buy newspapers.

you know? said:

Jon Senior said:

http://motoring.telegraph.co.uk/motoring/main.jhtml;sessionid=HRMFJOPA5K
2XBQFIQMFSNAGAVCBQ0JVC?
xml=/motoring/2004/09/10/emrport11.xml&pos=motoring_puff2&_requestid=
62949

Un-PC I know, but my main reaction to this article was: who gave this
brainless [censored] space in the paper in the first place?

Quite. Not only is she a brainless [censored], but self-confessedly is a
[censored] driver as well, but ha ha she's so cutely scatterbrained that
noone would dream of censuring her for running over their daughter
while she was stuffing her face with suchi, would they?

--
Trevor Barton

"Just zis Guy, you know?" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

Un-PC I know, but my main reaction to this article was: who gave this
brainless [censored] space in the paper in the first place?

Shock news! The lady in question only appears to be a brainless [censored] (ok,
she does a good job at this).

(my wife shared some supervisions with her at college).

cheers,
clive

Clive George said:

"Just zis Guy, you know?" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

Un-PC I know, but my main reaction to this article was: who gave this
brainless [censored] space in the paper in the first place?

Shock news! The lady in question only appears to be a brainless [censored] (ok,
she does a good job at this).

(my wife shared some supervisions with her at college).

Shock news! Journalists use troll personalities! Whodathunkit?!!

Especially not if they're effectively astroturfing for key
advertisers.

A

Clive George said:

Shock news! The lady in question only appears to be a brainless [censored]
(ok, she does a good job at this).

Indeed, she appears to work much harder at that than at her driving.

Guy
--
May contain traces of irony. Contents liable to settle after posting.
http://www.chapmancentral.co.uk

88% of helmet statistics are made up, 65% of them at Washington
University

In article <[email hidden]>, [email hidden]
says...

Quoted message said:

Shock news! The lady in question only appears to be a brainless [censored] (ok,
she does a good job at this).

She is painfully convincing. To the extent that she will be treated
accordingly. How this proves useful to her I'm not sure.

Quoted message said:

(my wife shared some supervisions with her at college).

Please pass on my condolences! :-)

Jon

MSeries <[email hidden]> wrote:

: and thats why I don't buy newspapers.

So how do you find out what's going on in the world (assuming
you are interested)?

Blogs? The pointless witterings make the Torygraph look wonderful.

Arthur

--
Arthur Clune PGP/GPG Key: http://www.clune.org/pubkey.txt
"Technolibertarians make a philosophy out of a personality defect"
- Paulina Borsook

In article <[email hidden]>, [email hidden]
says...

Quoted message said:

Not necessarily - remember, you're only seeing the public face. (Or do you
think that Paul O'Grady goes to the bank in full drag? :-) )

He doesn't???

Quoted message said:

Seems to be doing quite well with rent-a-bimbo as her public persona.

I have no TV and no interest in getting one, so I must confess that I
wouldn't know. Do we really not have enough genuine morons around
instead of making the intelligent ones play "let's pretend"?

Jon

"Jon Senior" <jon@restlesslemon_DOT_co_DOT_uk.remove> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

In article <[email hidden]>, [email hidden]
says...

Quoted message said:

Shock news! The lady in question only appears to be a brainless [censored]

(ok,

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

she does a good job at this).

She is painfully convincing. To the extent that she will be treated
accordingly.

Not necessarily - remember, you're only seeing the public face. (Or do you
think that Paul O'Grady goes to the bank in full drag? :-) )

Quoted message said:

How this proves useful to her I'm not sure.

Seems to be doing quite well with rent-a-bimbo as her public persona.

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

(my wife shared some supervisions with her at college).

Please pass on my condolences! :-)

:-) Apparently she wasn't that annoying at the time (possibly due to only
having to spend a limited amount of time in the vicinity).

cheers,
clive

Arthur Clune said:

MSeries <[email hidden]> wrote:

: and thats why I don't buy newspapers.

So how do you find out what's going on in the world (assuming
you are interested)?

I read newspapers occasionally just don't buy them myself. I refuse to
fund these people. I listen to radio and TV news for the major stories.
To be honest I am not really interested in the opinions of the
journalists that write in papers.

"Just zis Guy, you know?" <[email hidden]> wrote in message news:<[email hidden]>...

Quoted message said:

Un-PC I know, but my main reaction to this article was: who gave this
brainless [censored] space in the paper in the first place?

Seeing as The Times has already secured the services of BBC2's
favourite poodle-haired twit, presumably The Telegraph had to make do
with a different motoring journalist of similar ability? ;-)

David E. Belcher

Jon Senior said:

Quoted message said:

Not necessarily - remember, you're only seeing the public face. (Or do you
think that Paul O'Grady goes to the bank in full drag? :-) )

He doesn't???

Nope, dresses very down in jeans/shirt and jacket, wearing sun-glasses
most of the time too, only the observant give him a second glance...

Arthur Clune said:

MSeries <[email hidden]> wrote:

: and thats why I don't buy newspapers.

So how do you find out what's going on in the world (assuming
you are interested)?

Blogs? The pointless witterings make the Torygraph look wonderful.

Depends which ones you read. Add in on-line newspapers and the radio
and that covers my desire for news. As the online stuff gives a much
greater spectrum of sources (both opinions and nationality), I never
buy national papers.

The 'news' selected and written to go in papers (and to a lesser
extent, TV and radio) is primarily aimed at selling newspapers whereas
I would rather read stuff aimed at informing me.

On 21 Sep 2004 12:46:04 GMT, "Arthur Clune" <[email hidden]> wrote
in message <[email hidden]>:

Quoted message said:

Blogs? The pointless witterings make the Torygraph look wonderful.

Not all of them. Exhibit A:
<url:http://notonmywatch.blogs.com/not_on_my_watch/>

Guy
--
May contain traces of irony. Contents liable to settle after posting.
http://www.chapmancentral.co.uk

88% of helmet statistics are made up, 65% of them at Washington University

Jon Senior said:

In article <[email hidden]>, [email hidden]
says...

Quoted message said:

Not necessarily - remember, you're only seeing the public face. (Or do you
think that Paul O'Grady goes to the bank in full drag? :-) )

Paul O'Grady? Isn't he that bloke that Lilly Savage dresses up as?

Peter