OT:: Stupid story

On Sun 29 May 2005 07:16:21p, Nancy Young wrote in rec.food.cooking:

Quoted message said:

I was in NH this week, stayed at the usual place.

Well, I'm hurt, so I would sit at the end of the bed
to change my socks and get dressed.

Everytime I sat down there, it would make this
huge fart sound. I mean, HUGE. I started
to giggle IT'S NOT ME, I swear.

PFFFFFFFFT. PFFFFFFFT.

Loud. It was friggin funny.

nancy

Hmm... Never saw a whoopie cushion that big!

--
Wayne Boatwright *¿*
____________________________________________

Give me a smart idiot over a stupid genius any day.
Sam Goldwyn, 1882-1974

"Wayne Boatwright" <[email hidden]> wrote

Quoted message said:

On Sun 29 May 2005 07:16:21p, Nancy Young wrote in rec.food.cooking:

Quoted message said:

I was in NH this week, stayed at the usual place.

Well, I'm hurt, so I would sit at the end of the bed
to change my socks and get dressed.

Everytime I sat down there, it would make this
huge fart sound. I mean, HUGE. I started
to giggle IT'S NOT ME, I swear.

PFFFFFFFFT. PFFFFFFFT.

Loud. It was friggin funny.

Hmm... Never saw a whoopie cushion that big!

Hey, my butt isn't big!

nancy

"Nancy Young" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

I was in NH this week, stayed at the usual place.

Well, I'm hurt, so I would sit at the end of the bed
to change my socks and get dressed.

Oh, no! What kind of hurt?

Quoted message said:

Everytime I sat down there, it would make this
huge fart sound. I mean, HUGE. I started
to giggle IT'S NOT ME, I swear.

PFFFFFFFFT. PFFFFFFFT.

LOL....what kind of bed??

On Sun 29 May 2005 08:09:48p, Nancy Young wrote in rec.food.cooking:

Quoted message said:

"Wayne Boatwright" <[email hidden]> wrote

Quoted message said:

On Sun 29 May 2005 07:16:21p, Nancy Young wrote in rec.food.cooking:

Quoted message said:

I was in NH this week, stayed at the usual place.

Well, I'm hurt, so I would sit at the end of the bed
to change my socks and get dressed.

Everytime I sat down there, it would make this
huge fart sound. I mean, HUGE. I started
to giggle IT'S NOT ME, I swear.

PFFFFFFFFT. PFFFFFFFT.

Loud. It was friggin funny.

Hmm... Never saw a whoopie cushion that big!

Hey, my butt isn't big!

nancy

If you say so! :-)

--
Wayne Boatwright *¿*
____________________________________________

Give me a smart idiot over a stupid genius any day.
Sam Goldwyn, 1882-1974

Nancy Young said:

I was in NH this week, stayed at the usual place.

Well, I'm hurt, so I would sit at the end of the bed
to change my socks and get dressed.

Everytime I sat down there, it would make this
huge fart sound. I mean, HUGE. I started
to giggle IT'S NOT ME, I swear.

PFFFFFFFFT. PFFFFFFFT.

Loud. It was friggin funny.

Not you, huh? I've heard the legends about your gigantic farts.
Everyone knows. 😄

Carol, running for her life

--
CLICK DAILY TO FEED THE HUNGRY
United States:
http://www.stopthehunger.com/
International:
http://www.thehungersite.com/

Damsel <[email hidden]> wrote in
news:[email hidden]:

Quoted message said:

Nancy Young said:

I was in NH this week, stayed at the usual place.

Well, I'm hurt, so I would sit at the end of the bed
to change my socks and get dressed.

Everytime I sat down there, it would make this
huge fart sound. I mean, HUGE. I started
to giggle IT'S NOT ME, I swear.

PFFFFFFFFT. PFFFFFFFT.

Loud. It was friggin funny.

Not you, huh? I've heard the legends about your gigantic farts.
Everyone knows. 😄

Carol, running for her life

It's that grape jelly/chilli stuff that she has with the meatballs
(vvvbeg - Carol, wait for meeeeeee.)

Rhonda Anderson
Cranebrook, NSW, Australia

"Wayne Boatwright" <[email hidden]> wrote

Quoted message said:

On Sun 29 May 2005 08:09:48p, Nancy Young wrote in rec.food.cooking:

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

Hey, my butt isn't big!

Quoted message said:

If you say so! :-)

Excuse me! Yes, I say so. What was your point in
saying such a mean thing to me?

nancy

Nancy Young said:

Well, I'm hurt, so I would sit at the end of the bed
to change my socks and get dressed.

Are you hurt? What's wrong?

BTW, I hear Barb is delivering chicken dinners to the sick and wounded.
I am not feeling well myself, let me see if I can squeeze out a fake
cough... <hack, hack> Did that sound real?

Becca

"Chris" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:%jwme.9905$3u3.648@trnddc07...

Quoted message said:

"Nancy Young" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

I was in NH this week, stayed at the usual place.

Well, I'm hurt, so I would sit at the end of the bed
to change my socks and get dressed.

Oh, no! What kind of hurt?

You know, it's so stupid it's not even funny. Okay, I had
an accident as a kid that dislocated my hip. That was not
my fault. Yet, all these years later, I still have major league
problems going down stairs. It just caves. So ... I hurt
myself on the stairs, barely walked for months.

Going to NH, well, let me put in some treadmill time, it
seems to help. Get ready to picture me as one big idiot,
you know, as usual. (laugh)

It wouldn't turn on. I stood on the conveyer belt and
looked at the controls. It suddenly went on at like
100 mph. Imagine me running and trying to hold on
and screaming HELP!

All my fault Stupid stupid stupid. I did something very
bad to my shoulders from trying to hold on. Feel free
to laugh at the sight. It wasn't funny to me, but it is
kinda funny.

So, when you are trying to put on your socks with
no left hip and no left shoulder, you sit on the end of
the bed. (giggling) I kept sitting up and down on it
for a laugh. Ron said, I think there's a giant whoopie
cushion under the mattress!

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

Everytime I sat down there, it would make this
huge fart sound. I mean, HUGE. I started
to giggle IT'S NOT ME, I swear.

PFFFFFFFFT. PFFFFFFFT.

LOL....what kind of bed??

Got me. Just some king sized bed. I guess too many
people sat on the end of it, the bottom (so to speak)
is done.

nancy

Becca said:

Nancy Young said:

Well, I'm hurt, so I would sit at the end of the bed
to change my socks and get dressed.

Are you hurt? What's wrong?

BTW, I hear Barb is delivering chicken dinners to the sick and
wounded. I am not feeling well myself, let me see if I can squeeze
out a fake cough... <hack, hack> Did that sound real?

Becca

Sounds as real as you can get on Usenet! Now, get out some really pale face
powder and make yourself LOOK sick. Don't forget to powder your lips so
they have no colour. Keep practicing that cough... 🙂

Jill

On Mon 30 May 2005 07:34:00a, Nancy Young wrote in rec.food.cooking:

Quoted message said:

"Wayne Boatwright" <[email hidden]> wrote

Quoted message said:

On Sun 29 May 2005 08:09:48p, Nancy Young wrote in rec.food.cooking:

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

Hey, my butt isn't big!

Quoted message said:

If you say so! :-)

Excuse me! Yes, I say so. What was your point in
saying such a mean thing to me?

Not mean. I've just never seen you butt. How would I know? Now if you'd
care to post it on a binaries group, we could all make an accurate judgement
call. <veg>

--
Wayne Boatwright *¿*
____________________________________________

Give me a smart idiot over a stupid genius any day.
Sam Goldwyn, 1882-1974

"Wayne Boatwright" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

On Mon 30 May 2005 07:34:00a, Nancy Young wrote in rec.food.cooking:

Quoted message said:

"Wayne Boatwright" <[email hidden]> wrote

Quoted message said:

On Sun 29 May 2005 08:09:48p, Nancy Young wrote in rec.food.cooking:

Quoted message said:

> Hey, my butt isn't big!

Quoted message said:

If you say so! :-)

Excuse me! Yes, I say so. What was your point in
saying such a mean thing to me?

Not mean. I've just never seen you butt. How would I know? Now if you'd
care to post it on a binaries group, we could all make an accurate
judgement
call. <veg>

I had better be careful, I'm in pain so who knows what I will say. You
had no right to assume I had a big butt. I would not care if I did.

I'm fighting to gain weight. My husband makes me eat if I can. My
butt bones would click on the chair because I had no fat.

Happy now?

nancy

"Nancy Young" wrote in message

Quoted message said:

"Chris" wrote in message

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

"Nancy Young" wrote in message

Quoted message said:

I was in NH this week, stayed at the usual place.

Well, I'm hurt, so I would sit at the end of the bed
to change my socks and get dressed.

Oh, no! What kind of hurt?

You know, it's so stupid it's not even funny. Okay, I had
an accident as a kid that dislocated my hip. That was not
my fault. Yet, all these years later, I still have major league
problems going down stairs. It just caves. So ... I hurt
myself on the stairs, barely walked for months.

Going to NH, well, let me put in some treadmill time, it
seems to help. Get ready to picture me as one big idiot,
you know, as usual. (laugh)

It wouldn't turn on. I stood on the conveyer belt and
looked at the controls. It suddenly went on at like
100 mph. Imagine me running and trying to hold on
and screaming HELP!

All my fault Stupid stupid stupid. I did something very
bad to my shoulders from trying to hold on. Feel free
to laugh at the sight. It wasn't funny to me, but it is
kinda funny.

So, when you are trying to put on your socks with
no left hip and no left shoulder, you sit on the end of
the bed. (giggling) I kept sitting up and down on it
for a laugh. Ron said, I think there's a giant whoopie
cushion under the mattress!

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

Everytime I sat down there, it would make this
huge fart sound. I mean, HUGE. I started
to giggle IT'S NOT ME, I swear.

PFFFFFFFFT. PFFFFFFFT.

LOL....what kind of bed??

Got me. Just some king sized bed. I guess too many
people sat on the end of it, the bottom (so to speak)
is done.

nancy

Good grief, Nancy - you must really be uncomfortable to have to live with
the hip problem, then have the scare of the treadmill. Those things can
really be dangerous - when I first used one I started it too fast and those
things can really flip you backwards onto the floor if you're on the belt.
Hope you get better soon - if not, get everything checked.

Dora

On Mon 30 May 2005 12:22:59p, Nancy Young wrote in rec.food.cooking:

Quoted message said:

"Wayne Boatwright" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

On Mon 30 May 2005 07:34:00a, Nancy Young wrote in rec.food.cooking:

Quoted message said:

"Wayne Boatwright" <[email hidden]> wrote
> On Sun 29 May 2005 08:09:48p, Nancy Young wrote in rec.food.cooking:

>> Hey, my butt isn't big!

> If you say so! :-)

Excuse me! Yes, I say so. What was your point in saying such a mean
thing to me?

Not mean. I've just never seen you butt. How would I know? Now if
you'd care to post it on a binaries group, we could all make an
accurate judgement call. <veg>

I had better be careful, I'm in pain so who knows what I will say. You
had no right to assume I had a big butt. I would not care if I did.

I'm fighting to gain weight. My husband makes me eat if I can. My
butt bones would click on the chair because I had no fat.

Happy now?

nancy

Geez, Nancy, get off your high horse. If you read what I posted, you'd
realize that I made absolutely no reference to the size of your butt!

What I said was, "Hmm... Never saw a whoopie cushion that big!"

I was speaking about the mattress being a gigantic whoppie cushion.

Sorry you're in pain, but you needn't take it out on me.

--
Wayne Boatwright *¿*
____________________________________________

Give me a smart idiot over a stupid genius any day.
Sam Goldwyn, 1882-1974

Nancy Young said:

I had better be careful, I'm in pain so who knows what I will say. You
had no right to assume I had a big butt. I would not care if I did.

I'm fighting to gain weight. My husband makes me eat if I can. My
butt bones would click on the chair because I had no fat.

Happy now?

I'm so sorry, Nancy. I should send you some Salted Nut Bars. 🙂

Supportive hugs,
Carol

--
CLICK DAILY TO FEED THE HUNGRY
United States:
http://www.stopthehunger.com/
International:
http://www.thehungersite.com/

"Nancy Young" <[email hidden]> wrote in news:d7f97a$l80$1
@news.monmouth.com:

Quoted message said:

All my fault Stupid stupid stupid. I did something very
bad to my shoulders from trying to hold on. Feel free
to laugh at the sight. It wasn't funny to me, but it is
kinda funny.

Sounds too scary to laugh at. I'd have been terrified.

Quoted message said:

So, when you are trying to put on your socks with
no left hip and no left shoulder, you sit on the end of
the bed. (giggling)

I think I'd have gone without socks, or asked someone else to put them on
for me. I'm a wuss.

I kept sitting up and down on it

Quoted message said:

for a laugh. Ron said, I think there's a giant whoopie
cushion under the mattress!

I've sat on chairs like that. You try not to fidget if you have to sit on
them for too long <g>

Rhonda Anderson
Cranebrook, NSW, Australia

Rhonda Anderson said:

"Nancy Young" <[email hidden]> wrote in news:d7f97a$l80$1
@news.monmouth.com:

I've sat on chairs like that. You try not to fidget if you have to
sit on them for too long <g>

Rhonda Anderson
Cranebrook, NSW, Australia

It's especially excruciating if you're sitting in said chairs in a meeting
at work. Always happens when the room goes dead silent and you can *never*
get the chair to make that same noise again when you are trying to
demonstrate it wasn't YOU! 🙂

Jill

In article <[email hidden]>,

Nancy Young said:

"Chris" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:%jwme.9905$3u3.648@trnddc07...

Quoted message said:

"Nancy Young" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

I was in NH this week, stayed at the usual place.

Well, I'm hurt, so I would sit at the end of the bed
to change my socks and get dressed.

Oh, no! What kind of hurt?

You know, it's so stupid it's not even funny. Okay, I had
an accident as a kid that dislocated my hip. That was not
my fault. Yet, all these years later, I still have major league
problems going down stairs. It just caves. So ... I hurt
myself on the stairs, barely walked for months.

Going to NH, well, let me put in some treadmill time, it
seems to help. Get ready to picture me as one big idiot,
you know, as usual. (laugh)

It wouldn't turn on. I stood on the conveyer belt and
looked at the controls. It suddenly went on at like
100 mph. Imagine me running and trying to hold on
and screaming HELP!

All my fault Stupid stupid stupid. I did something very
bad to my shoulders from trying to hold on. Feel free
to laugh at the sight. It wasn't funny to me, but it is
kinda funny.

So, when you are trying to put on your socks with
no left hip and no left shoulder, you sit on the end of
the bed. (giggling) I kept sitting up and down on it
for a laugh. Ron said, I think there's a giant whoopie
cushion under the mattress!

Nancy,

Sorry to hear about your mishap with the treadmill and your bad hip.
Don't most people sit on the end of their bed to put on their socks?
Both my hips and shoulders are fine, but I sit on the end of my bed
every morning when I put on my socks. This is the way I have done it for
decades.

I will have to stop doing that in a few weeks when my new Bassetts
bedroom furniture arrives. I have been shopping for new bedroom
furniture for the past two weeks. I finally decided on Saturday to take
advantage of a Memorial Day sale, so I ordered a matching TV armoire,
dresser, chest, queen size mattress, box spring, headboard, and
footboard. My current bed, which I have had for 15 years lacks a
footboard, so I will have to sit on the side of my bed whenever I need
to put on my socks.

I wanted to get the new bed without a footboard because I prefer to sit
on the end of my bed in the mornings to put on my socks. Unfortunately,
because I ordered a slay bed, the footboard is needed in order to hold
the front ends of the bed rails together, so I had to take it. Oh well!
It does like nice.

Chris said:

LOL....what kind of bed??

Let's collectively cross our fingers and hope it wasn't the kind you
put a quarter in to get it to vibrate for 15 minutes.