OT: Are we actually relatively sensible???

: I'm on a few low carb boards, and it's true that there is a phenomenon
: of women losing a lot of weight, finding themselves in a very different
: body, attracting a lot of male attention, and overdoing the "I'm just so
: incredibly hot" thing. I even have a friend in this situation who lost
: weight and came out as a lesbian in her early 30s, who *still* gets off
: on the male attention, some of which is in her head, and some is drummed
: up by her tendency to post semi-naked pics of herself online.
:
: What's my point? Well, just thinking out loud that there are women who
: become labelled "hot" all of a sudden, and don't always seem to handle
: it gracefully. I don't know if the same thing happens to men - most of
: the LCers are women."

What I get out of it is that the person is envious of women who lose weight
and find themselves more attractive to men than previously. It is as if the
writer is saying: "Yes, you can lose weight, but you shouldn't be proud of
yourself or your "new" body--and you should never "get off" on the male
attention because that is "not graceful".

Makes me wonder why the writer wants to slam other people for losing weight.
Jealousy?

Pat in TX

A_M <[email hidden]> wrote in
news:[email hidden]:

Quoted message said:

X-No-Archive: Yes

I saw a message on the Table Talk Forum where they discuss Cary Tennis's
advice column on Salon.com. It made me laugh when I saw it, so I think
I'll repost it here. I don't think I've ever seen anyone in here
posting links to overly scantily claded pics of themselves - swimming
gears are totally accepted IMHO. Does it mean that the average ASDLC-er
is actually quite sensible or we are just not the exhibitionist type?

"Posted 12:14 pm Pacific Time - Apr 27, 2005 - #2983 of 3012

I'm on a few low carb boards, and it's true that there is a phenomenon
of women losing a lot of weight, finding themselves in a very different
body, attracting a lot of male attention, and overdoing the "I'm just so
incredibly hot" thing. I even have a friend in this situation who lost
weight and came out as a lesbian in her early 30s, who *still* gets off
on the male attention, some of which is in her head, and some is drummed
up by her tendency to post semi-naked pics of herself online.

What's my point? Well, just thinking out loud that there are women who
become labelled "hot" all of a sudden, and don't always seem to handle
it gracefully. I don't know if the same thing happens to men - most of
the LCers are women."

This is apparently not uncommon, although I'm not sure how common it is.
I've seen it discussed on the Discovery Health channel, on various weight
loss shows, that once many women lose weight (the documentary I have in
mind re: WLS) they act like they're making up for lost time or something,
trying to get the attention that they didn't get before. Some to the
extent that they lose family, friends, and jobs in their obsession with
their new bodies 🙁.

Sherry
360/?/195

sherry wrote:
:: A_M <[email hidden]> wrote in
:: news:[email hidden]:
::
::: X-No-Archive: Yes
:::
::: I saw a message on the Table Talk Forum where they discuss Cary
::: Tennis's advice column on Salon.com. It made me laugh when I saw
::: it, so I think I'll repost it here. I don't think I've ever seen
::: anyone in here posting links to overly scantily claded pics of
::: themselves - swimming gears are totally accepted IMHO. Does it
::: mean that the average ASDLC-er is actually quite sensible or we are
::: just not the exhibitionist type?
:::
::: "Posted 12:14 pm Pacific Time - Apr 27, 2005 - #2983 of 3012
:::
::: I'm on a few low carb boards, and it's true that there is a
::: phenomenon of women losing a lot of weight, finding themselves in a
::: very different body, attracting a lot of male attention, and
::: overdoing the "I'm just so incredibly hot" thing. I even have a
::: friend in this situation who lost weight and came out as a lesbian
::: in her early 30s, who *still* gets off on the male attention, some
::: of which is in her head, and some is drummed up by her tendency to
::: post semi-naked pics of herself online.
:::
::: What's my point? Well, just thinking out loud that there are women
::: who become labelled "hot" all of a sudden, and don't always seem to
::: handle it gracefully. I don't know if the same thing happens to men
::: - most of the LCers are women."
::
:: This is apparently not uncommon, although I'm not sure how common it
:: is. I've seen it discussed on the Discovery Health channel, on
:: various weight loss shows, that once many women lose weight (the
:: documentary I have in mind re: WLS) they act like they're making up
:: for lost time or something, trying to get the attention that they
:: didn't get before. Some to the extent that they lose family,
:: friends, and jobs in their obsession with their new bodies 🙁.
::

Well, this certainly doesn't appear to be the case with our Luna! She seems
to react in the opposite way.

Pat wrote:
::: I'm on a few low carb boards, and it's true that there is a
::: phenomenon of women losing a lot of weight, finding themselves in a
::: very different body, attracting a lot of male attention, and
::: overdoing the "I'm just so incredibly hot" thing. I even have a
::: friend in this situation who lost weight and came out as a lesbian
::: in her early 30s, who *still* gets off on the male attention, some
::: of which is in her head, and some is drummed up by her tendency to
::: post semi-naked pics of herself online.
:::
::: What's my point? Well, just thinking out loud that there are women
::: who become labelled "hot" all of a sudden, and don't always seem to
::: handle it gracefully. I don't know if the same thing happens to men
::: - most of the LCers are women."
::
:: What I get out of it is that the person is envious of women who lose
:: weight and find themselves more attractive to men than previously.
:: It is as if the writer is saying: "Yes, you can lose weight, but you
:: shouldn't be proud of yourself or your "new" body--and you should
:: never "get off" on the male attention because that is "not graceful".
::
:: Makes me wonder why the writer wants to slam other people for losing
:: weight. Jealousy?

The writer doesn't sound jealous to me....just seems to be making an
observation... it's easy to understand how someone who was previously
overweight and lacking in attention, after losing weight, now enjoys the
attention, and perhaps might overdo it now and again. Sort of like binging
after having been denialed something you enjoy for a long, long time. I
don't see why it would be any different for a man than a woman, though,
expect perhaps in how men are a bit more aggressive in approaching women.

"Roger Zoul" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

Well, this certainly doesn't appear to be the case with our Luna! She

seems

Quoted message said:

to react in the opposite way.

I think it can make people uncomfortable, since they are the same person
inside as they always were, to suddenly be treated as if they were someone
else. It is one of the reasons yoyo dieting articles give for regain.

--
No Husband Has Ever Been Shot While Doing The Dishes

In article <[email hidden]>,

Roger Zoul said:

sherry wrote:
:: A_M <[email hidden]> wrote in
:: news:[email hidden]:
::
they act like they're making up
:: for lost time or something, trying to get the attention that they
:: didn't get before. Some to the extent that they lose family,
:: friends, and jobs in their obsession with their new bodies 🙁.
::

Well, this certainly doesn't appear to be the case with our Luna! She seems
to react in the opposite way.

I've got issues though. Understandable issues, considering my history.
I developed early, so the first sexual attention I got was when I was
still mentally and emotionally a child, and it all came from boys and
men much older than I was. It makes sense to me that those early
negative experiences would taint the way I view sexual attention now.

Luna wrote:
:: In article <[email hidden]>,
:: "Roger Zoul" <[email hidden]> wrote:
::
::: sherry wrote:
::::: A_M <[email hidden]> wrote in
::::: news:[email hidden]:
:::::
::: they act like they're making up
::::: for lost time or something, trying to get the attention that they
::::: didn't get before. Some to the extent that they lose family,
::::: friends, and jobs in their obsession with their new bodies 🙁.
:::::
:::
::: Well, this certainly doesn't appear to be the case with our Luna!
::: She seems to react in the opposite way.
::
:: I've got issues though. Understandable issues, considering my
:: history. I developed early, so the first sexual attention I got was
:: when I was still mentally and emotionally a child, and it all came
:: from boys and men much older than I was. It makes sense to me that
:: those early negative experiences would taint the way I view sexual
:: attention now.

I would tend to agree were it not for the fact that you've clearly
recognized that issue in a mental way....hence, you should be able to move
beyond it now....were it not for your thinking.....if you don't believe you
can, you won't.

: :: Makes me wonder why the writer wants to slam other people for losing
: :: weight. Jealousy?
:
: The writer doesn't sound jealous to me....just seems to be making an
: observation... it's easy to understand how someone who was previously
: overweight and lacking in attention, after losing weight, now enjoys the
: attention, and perhaps might overdo it now and again. Sort of like
binging
: after having been denialed something you enjoy for a long, long time. I
: don't see why it would be any different for a man than a woman, though,
: expect perhaps in how men are a bit more aggressive in approaching women.

It was the term "graceful" that stuck out when I read it. I wonder which
word he would have used had the topic been men? Graceful seems to go with
women, so which word would he have used to castigate men?

Yeah, I'm grouchy: it's too danged windy to ride today! Up to 20 mph, maybe,
but today it's 25-30 mph. Bah, humbug!

Pat in TX
:
:

Pat wrote:
::::: Makes me wonder why the writer wants to slam other people for
::::: losing weight. Jealousy?
:::
::: The writer doesn't sound jealous to me....just seems to be making an
::: observation... it's easy to understand how someone who was
::: previously overweight and lacking in attention, after losing
::: weight, now enjoys the attention, and perhaps might overdo it now
::: and again. Sort of like binging after having been denialed
::: something you enjoy for a long, long time. I don't see why it would
::: be any different for a man than a woman, though, expect perhaps in
::: how men are a bit more aggressive in approaching women.
::
:: It was the term "graceful" that stuck out when I read it. I wonder
:: which word he would have used had the topic been men? Graceful seems
:: to go with women, so which word would he have used to castigate men?

Well, I liked his/her use of the word graceful in regards to women. I can
think of a lot of words that might be used for guys, but for guys, this kind
of thing is more expected, I think.

::
:: Yeah, I'm grouchy: it's too danged windy to ride today! Up to 20
:: mph, maybe, but today it's 25-30 mph. Bah, humbug!
::

Gosh...the last couple of weekends have been really windy here. The past
weekend was major in terms of wind - I felt I'd might be blown off the bike
several times. But I still got out there. I'm planning to ride this
evening, too. It seems relatively calm today, though.

None Given wrote:
:: "Roger Zoul" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
:: news:[email hidden]...
::::
::: Well, this certainly doesn't appear to be the case with our Luna!
::: She seems to react in the opposite way.
::
::
:: I think it can make people uncomfortable, since they are the same
:: person inside as they always were, to suddenly be treated as if they
:: were someone else. It is one of the reasons yoyo dieting articles
:: give for regain.

I guess one can think of it that way....but I see it differently. After
dumping 142 lbs, different parts of my personality come to the forefront in
my dealings with people. And for me, there is no such thing as "suddenly,"
as significant weight loss doesn't happen overnight. It's all too much
self-coddling, IYAM.

"Roger Zoul" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

sherry wrote:
:: A_M <[email hidden]> wrote in
:: news:[email hidden]:
::
::: X-No-Archive: Yes
:::
::: I saw a message on the Table Talk Forum where they discuss Cary
::: Tennis's advice column on Salon.com. It made me laugh when I saw
::: it, so I think I'll repost it here. I don't think I've ever seen
::: anyone in here posting links to overly scantily claded pics of
::: themselves - swimming gears are totally accepted IMHO. Does it
::: mean that the average ASDLC-er is actually quite sensible or we are
::: just not the exhibitionist type?
:::
::: "Posted 12:14 pm Pacific Time - Apr 27, 2005 - #2983 of 3012
:::
::: I'm on a few low carb boards, and it's true that there is a
::: phenomenon of women losing a lot of weight, finding themselves in a
::: very different body, attracting a lot of male attention, and
::: overdoing the "I'm just so incredibly hot" thing. I even have a
::: friend in this situation who lost weight and came out as a lesbian
::: in her early 30s, who *still* gets off on the male attention, some
::: of which is in her head, and some is drummed up by her tendency to
::: post semi-naked pics of herself online.
:::
::: What's my point? Well, just thinking out loud that there are women
::: who become labelled "hot" all of a sudden, and don't always seem to
::: handle it gracefully. I don't know if the same thing happens to men
::: - most of the LCers are women."
::
:: This is apparently not uncommon, although I'm not sure how common it
:: is. I've seen it discussed on the Discovery Health channel, on
:: various weight loss shows, that once many women lose weight (the
:: documentary I have in mind re: WLS) they act like they're making up
:: for lost time or something, trying to get the attention that they
:: didn't get before. Some to the extent that they lose family,
:: friends, and jobs in their obsession with their new bodies 🙁.
::

Well, this certainly doesn't appear to be the case with our Luna! She

seems

Quoted message said:

to react in the opposite way.

I can understand how she feels about the new found attention from men. It
would be similar to you winning a lottery and now being sought after by
women that formerly would not look at you twice. You might like the new
attention and accept it as part of winning the lottery, or you may become
suspicious of all women's intentions. It would probably depend on your
personality and whether you felt you deserved what is happening.
Luna is probably judging guys in 2 categories. 1) If she knew the guy
before and he is now paying attention because she is slim, she would be
asking herself; "Why didn't he approach me before when I was fat?" 2) And if
it is a guy she never met before, she would be wondering; "Would he have
wanted to talk to me a couple of years ago when I was heavier?"
I, myself, had dated a chunky girl many years ago. She was concerned about
her weight, but I accepted her for who she was and she liked that I was
looking at the whole package. We dated a few times but never got into a
serious relationship. A little later she decided to drop the access 30 lbs.
Within a couple of months she went from average to hot. She reveled in the
new attention, and ignored me. I was quite hurt because now it seemed I
wasn't good enough for her. After not seeing her for a year, I happened to
spot her in a bar. She was back up to her old weight and no hoard of men
hanging around. I didn't bother to go over and say hi.

Roger Zoul said:

Pat wrote:
:: It was the term "graceful" that stuck out when I read it. I wonder
:: which word he would have used had the topic been men? Graceful seems
:: to go with women, so which word would he have used to castigate men?

Well, I liked his/her use of the word graceful in regards to women. I can
think of a lot of words that might be used for guys, but for guys, this kind
of thing is more expected, I think.

Just FYI the writer used a woman's name. When I registered with the
Table Talk Forum I got confused by the form and registered with my real
name and I had to write and ask them to change my nickname. So it's
quite possible that the poster is actually a woman...

sherry said:

A_M <[email hidden]> wrote in
news:[email hidden]:

Quoted message said:

X-No-Archive: Yes

I saw a message on the Table Talk Forum where they discuss Cary Tennis's
advice column on Salon.com. It made me laugh when I saw it, so I think
I'll repost it here. I don't think I've ever seen anyone in here
posting links to overly scantily claded pics of themselves - swimming
gears are totally accepted IMHO. Does it mean that the average ASDLC-er
is actually quite sensible or we are just not the exhibitionist type?

"Posted 12:14 pm Pacific Time - Apr 27, 2005 - #2983 of 3012

I'm on a few low carb boards, and it's true that there is a phenomenon
of women losing a lot of weight, finding themselves in a very different
body, attracting a lot of male attention, and overdoing the "I'm just so
incredibly hot" thing. I even have a friend in this situation who lost
weight and came out as a lesbian in her early 30s, who *still* gets off
on the male attention, some of which is in her head, and some is drummed
up by her tendency to post semi-naked pics of herself online.

What's my point? Well, just thinking out loud that there are women who
become labelled "hot" all of a sudden, and don't always seem to handle
it gracefully. I don't know if the same thing happens to men - most of
the LCers are women."

This is apparently not uncommon, although I'm not sure how common it is.
I've seen it discussed on the Discovery Health channel, on various weight
loss shows, that once many women lose weight (the documentary I have in
mind re: WLS) they act like they're making up for lost time or something,
trying to get the attention that they didn't get before. Some to the
extent that they lose family, friends, and jobs in their obsession with
their new bodies 🙁.

Sherry
360/?/195

I'd love to watch one of those TV program! Sadly I don't have them on
my TV - live in UK and I don't have a digital box or satelite TV or
whatever that gives you thousands of channels. It is sad that people
lose control over their lives after they have worked so hard to lose the
weight. May be they replace the food bingeing with date/sex bingeing.
Both pretty scary in their own rights! :-O

Roger Zoul said:

None Given wrote:
:: "Roger Zoul" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
:: news:[email hidden]...
::::
::: Well, this certainly doesn't appear to be the case with our Luna!
::: She seems to react in the opposite way.
::
::
:: I think it can make people uncomfortable, since they are the same
:: person inside as they always were, to suddenly be treated as if they
:: were someone else. It is one of the reasons yoyo dieting articles
:: give for regain.

I guess one can think of it that way....but I see it differently. After
dumping 142 lbs, different parts of my personality come to the forefront in
my dealings with people. And for me, there is no such thing as "suddenly,"
as significant weight loss doesn't happen overnight. It's all too much
self-coddling, IYAM.

Somewhere someone on here mentioned that losing the weight has make
interactions with other people much more personal than before. The
owner of the body knows for sure that other people aren't reacting to
the fact on the body, but to the person. That can take a little while
to get used to but we must all get used to it as quickly as we possibly
could as time flies.

Luna said:

In article <[email hidden]>,

Roger Zoul said:

sherry wrote:
:: A_M <[email hidden]> wrote in
:: news:[email hidden]:
::
they act like they're making up
:: for lost time or something, trying to get the attention that they
:: didn't get before. Some to the extent that they lose family,
:: friends, and jobs in their obsession with their new bodies 🙁.
::

Well, this certainly doesn't appear to be the case with our Luna! She seems
to react in the opposite way.

I've got issues though. Understandable issues, considering my history.
I developed early, so the first sexual attention I got was when I was
still mentally and emotionally a child, and it all came from boys and
men much older than I was. It makes sense to me that those early
negative experiences would taint the way I view sexual attention now.

You didn't get molested I hope???

How about if the sexual attention directed to you is from a man you
really really like? Would you feel differently then or would you still
feel awkward??

Tom G wrote:
:: "Roger Zoul" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
:: news:[email hidden]...
::: sherry wrote:
::::: A_M <[email hidden]> wrote in
::::: news:[email hidden]:
:::::
:::::: X-No-Archive: Yes
::::::
:::::: I saw a message on the Table Talk Forum where they discuss Cary
:::::: Tennis's advice column on Salon.com. It made me laugh when I saw
:::::: it, so I think I'll repost it here. I don't think I've ever seen
:::::: anyone in here posting links to overly scantily claded pics of
:::::: themselves - swimming gears are totally accepted IMHO. Does it
:::::: mean that the average ASDLC-er is actually quite sensible or we
:::::: are just not the exhibitionist type?
::::::
:::::: "Posted 12:14 pm Pacific Time - Apr 27, 2005 - #2983 of 3012
::::::
:::::: I'm on a few low carb boards, and it's true that there is a
:::::: phenomenon of women losing a lot of weight, finding themselves
:::::: in a very different body, attracting a lot of male attention, and
:::::: overdoing the "I'm just so incredibly hot" thing. I even have a
:::::: friend in this situation who lost weight and came out as a
:::::: lesbian in her early 30s, who *still* gets off on the male
:::::: attention, some of which is in her head, and some is drummed up
:::::: by her tendency to post semi-naked pics of herself online.
::::::
:::::: What's my point? Well, just thinking out loud that there are
:::::: women who become labelled "hot" all of a sudden, and don't
:::::: always seem to handle it gracefully. I don't know if the same
:::::: thing happens to men - most of the LCers are women."
:::::
::::: This is apparently not uncommon, although I'm not sure how common
::::: it is. I've seen it discussed on the Discovery Health channel, on
::::: various weight loss shows, that once many women lose weight (the
::::: documentary I have in mind re: WLS) they act like they're making
::::: up for lost time or something, trying to get the attention that
::::: they didn't get before. Some to the extent that they lose family,
::::: friends, and jobs in their obsession with their new bodies 🙁.
:::::
:::
::: Well, this certainly doesn't appear to be the case with our Luna!
::: She seems to react in the opposite way.
::
:: I can understand how she feels about the new found attention from
:: men. It would be similar to you winning a lottery and now being
:: sought after by women that formerly would not look at you twice. You
:: might like the new attention and accept it as part of winning the
:: lottery, or you may become suspicious of all women's intentions. It
:: would probably depend on your personality and whether you felt you
:: deserved what is happening. Luna is probably judging guys in 2
:: categories. 1) If she knew the guy before and he is now paying
:: attention because she is slim, she would be asking herself; "Why
:: didn't he approach me before when I was fat?"

Because she was fat and unattractive? I don't get upset with people who
found me unattractive when I weighed 367 lbs. I don't get upset with people
who find me unattractive now. The only real question now is whether the
attention NOW is welcome or not. Holding a grudge is pointless.

2) And if it is a guy
:: she never met before, she would be wondering; "Would he have wanted
:: to talk to me a couple of years ago when I was heavier?"

Why would anyone be so concerned?

Phyiscal attraction is real. People like what they like. If someone once
thought you were unattractive but now thinks otherwise, so what? It is what
it is. Initial impressions make a big difference, initially.

I,
:: myself, had dated a chunky girl many years ago. She was concerned
:: about her weight, but I accepted her for who she was and she liked
:: that I was looking at the whole package. We dated a few times but
:: never got into a serious relationship. A little later she decided to
:: drop the access 30 lbs. Within a couple of months she went from
:: average to hot. She reveled in the new attention, and ignored me.

But you dated her and it didn't go anywhere...so she obviously assumed there
was no chemistry.

I
:: was quite hurt because now it seemed I wasn't good enough for her.

That seems confused....

:: After not seeing her for a year, I happened to spot her in a bar.
:: She was back up to her old weight and no hoard of men hanging
:: around. I didn't bother to go over and say hi.

That's because there was no chemistry.

A_M wrote:
:: Roger Zoul wrote:
:::
::: None Given wrote:
::::: "Roger Zoul" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
::::: news:[email hidden]...
:::::::
:::::: Well, this certainly doesn't appear to be the case with our Luna!
:::::: She seems to react in the opposite way.
:::::
:::::
::::: I think it can make people uncomfortable, since they are the same
::::: person inside as they always were, to suddenly be treated as if
::::: they were someone else. It is one of the reasons yoyo dieting
::::: articles give for regain.
:::
::: I guess one can think of it that way....but I see it differently.
::: After dumping 142 lbs, different parts of my personality come to
::: the forefront in my dealings with people. And for me, there is no
::: such thing as "suddenly," as significant weight loss doesn't happen
::: overnight. It's all too much self-coddling, IYAM.
::
:: Somewhere someone on here mentioned that losing the weight has make
:: interactions with other people much more personal than before. The
:: owner of the body knows for sure that other people aren't reacting to
:: the fact on the body, but to the person. That can take a little
:: while to get used to but we must all get used to it as quickly as we
:: possibly could as time flies.

I don't see how you can separate the fat on the body and the person. A
person is a person and you react to what they present to you.

"Roger Zoul" <[email hidden]> wrote in
news:[email hidden]:

Quoted message said:

Phyiscal attraction is real. People like what they like. If someone
once thought you were unattractive but now thinks otherwise, so what?
It is what it is. Initial impressions make a big difference,
initially.

The most hurtful thing that anyone ever said to me, re: "chemistry", was
said by a former friend of my mother's. She's a late-middle-aged fake
platinum blond who has no respect for anyone else, who uses people, wears a
ton of makeup so nobody knows what she really looks like, and constantly
whines about not "having a man" even after all the countless nights she'd
been spending in bars. After my divorce from my first husband I was dating
several very nice men and having a good time in life. This woman asked me,
"How come YOU get all the good men and I don't get any? I
mean...well...LOOK at you!" I just did my one-eyebrow-raised steady stare
that I'm so good at <G>, and didn't say a word, just let her comment hang
in the air until she got uncomfortable and walked away.

It's always been my opinion that a nice person, who genuinely cares about
other people (men and women alike), who is fun and laughs a lot, and who
shows warmth to those around them, is going to be attractive to others,
including the opposite sex. At least...that's been my experience.

Sherry
360/?/195 (day 25 or 26...I lost count again dangit!)

"Roger Zoul" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

Tom G wrote:
:: "Roger Zoul" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
:: news:[email hidden]...
::: sherry wrote:
::::: A_M <[email hidden]> wrote in
::::: news:[email hidden]:
:::::
:::::: X-No-Archive: Yes
::::::
:::::: I saw a message on the Table Talk Forum where they discuss Cary
:::::: Tennis's advice column on Salon.com. It made me laugh when I saw
:::::: it, so I think I'll repost it here. I don't think I've ever seen
:::::: anyone in here posting links to overly scantily claded pics of
:::::: themselves - swimming gears are totally accepted IMHO. Does it
:::::: mean that the average ASDLC-er is actually quite sensible or we
:::::: are just not the exhibitionist type?
::::::
:::::: "Posted 12:14 pm Pacific Time - Apr 27, 2005 - #2983 of 3012
::::::
:::::: I'm on a few low carb boards, and it's true that there is a
:::::: phenomenon of women losing a lot of weight, finding themselves
:::::: in a very different body, attracting a lot of male attention, and
:::::: overdoing the "I'm just so incredibly hot" thing. I even have a
:::::: friend in this situation who lost weight and came out as a
:::::: lesbian in her early 30s, who *still* gets off on the male
:::::: attention, some of which is in her head, and some is drummed up
:::::: by her tendency to post semi-naked pics of herself online.
::::::
:::::: What's my point? Well, just thinking out loud that there are
:::::: women who become labelled "hot" all of a sudden, and don't
:::::: always seem to handle it gracefully. I don't know if the same
:::::: thing happens to men - most of the LCers are women."
:::::
::::: This is apparently not uncommon, although I'm not sure how common
::::: it is. I've seen it discussed on the Discovery Health channel, on
::::: various weight loss shows, that once many women lose weight (the
::::: documentary I have in mind re: WLS) they act like they're making
::::: up for lost time or something, trying to get the attention that
::::: they didn't get before. Some to the extent that they lose family,
::::: friends, and jobs in their obsession with their new bodies 🙁.
:::::
:::
::: Well, this certainly doesn't appear to be the case with our Luna!
::: She seems to react in the opposite way.
::
:: I can understand how she feels about the new found attention from
:: men. It would be similar to you winning a lottery and now being
:: sought after by women that formerly would not look at you twice. You
:: might like the new attention and accept it as part of winning the
:: lottery, or you may become suspicious of all women's intentions. It
:: would probably depend on your personality and whether you felt you
:: deserved what is happening. Luna is probably judging guys in 2
:: categories. 1) If she knew the guy before and he is now paying
:: attention because she is slim, she would be asking herself; "Why
:: didn't he approach me before when I was fat?"

Because she was fat and unattractive? I don't get upset with people who
found me unattractive when I weighed 367 lbs. I don't get upset with

people

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who find me unattractive now. The only real question now is whether the
attention NOW is welcome or not. Holding a grudge is pointless.

2) And if it is a guy
:: she never met before, she would be wondering; "Would he have wanted
:: to talk to me a couple of years ago when I was heavier?"

Why would anyone be so concerned?

Phyiscal attraction is real. People like what they like. If someone once
thought you were unattractive but now thinks otherwise, so what? It is

what

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it is. Initial impressions make a big difference, initially.

I,
:: myself, had dated a chunky girl many years ago. She was concerned
:: about her weight, but I accepted her for who she was and she liked
:: that I was looking at the whole package. We dated a few times but
:: never got into a serious relationship. A little later she decided to
:: drop the access 30 lbs. Within a couple of months she went from
:: average to hot. She reveled in the new attention, and ignored me.

But you dated her and it didn't go anywhere...so she obviously assumed

there

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was no chemistry.

I
:: was quite hurt because now it seemed I wasn't good enough for her.

That seems confused....

:: After not seeing her for a year, I happened to spot her in a bar.
:: She was back up to her old weight and no hoard of men hanging
:: around. I didn't bother to go over and say hi.

That's because there was no chemistry.

Physical attraction is only part of a relationship. It shouldn't be the
main reason. I don't deny that I am attracted to slim women, but pleasant
personality is more important and a better value for a mate.

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