Ordering Chinese Delivery - a comedy

jmcquown <[email hidden]> wrote in message
"]news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

...

If I need a hoot, I can always order from the local asian
restaurants and spend five to ten minutes spelling my
(real) name with them. It's one of those mega-multi-
syllable German ones with a very few vowels but lots of
hard ch's, r's and l's. If I'm REALLY hungry, I just tell
them my name is 'Jones.'

Quoted message said:

I was taking a wild guess about what they call "cheese
wontons" - I call them crab pillows or crab puffs...

Hereabouts, they're called 'crab rangoon.' I've always
thought they were sort of nasty, something about deep-fried
cream cheese and imitation crabmeat.

--
'It tastes like burning..... waaaaa!!!!'
-Ralph Wiggum

"jmcquown" < <snipping>
: By this time it's starting to feel like I'm in the
: middle of an
Abbott &
: Costello routine.

<snip>

:
: I was taking a wild guess about what they call "cheese
wontons" - I call
: them crab pillows or crab puffs:
:
: <snip>

And we always called them Crab Rangoon! Sounds delicious no
matter what they're called.

--
Cyndi <Remove a "b" to reply

In article <[email hidden]>,

jmcquown said:

Last Thursday evening it was pouring down rain; didn't
want to leave the hotel. So I ask the desk clerk for food
delivery options. I'm given a list of restaurants with
their menus. Chinese food sounds good.

So I call - keep in mind this is one of those delivery
services, not the actual restaurant I'm talking with -
except at the very end.

Yes, I'd like two of the combination dinners - pork foo
yung and the BBQ ribs. Wonton soup with both, please. And
an order of the "cheese wontons" from the appetizers list.
Thank you.

The hotel room phone rings minutes later. They don't have
pork foo yung. Okay, make it chicken foo yung and the
ribs. Thank you.

The phone rings. They don't have foo yung at all! Er,
okay, sesame chicken and the ribs. Thank you.

By this time it's starting to feel like I'm in the middle
of an Abbott & Costello routine.

The phone rings - this time it's someone from the
restaurant itself. No ribs, but we do have pork foo yung.
(SIGH) Okay, pork foo yung and sesame chicken. Wonton
soup? Yes, please. Cheese wontons? Yes, please.

I'm thinking to myself, if this phone rings one more time,
it's microwave popcorn for the next couple of days!

The food, when we were finally able to figure out what
they do and don't have, was excellent.

I was taking a wild guess about what they call "cheese
wontons" - I call them crab pillows or crab puffs:

8 oz. cream cheese, softened 3 quick dashes red pepper
(cayenne) or to taste - these should not be "hot"
1/4 tsp. salt 2 Tbs. finely minced green onion 1 c. flaked
crabmeat 1 pkg. wonton wrappers 1 egg beaten with 1 Tbs.
cold water oil for deep frying Blend the first 5
ingredients well to make the filling. Place 1-1/2 tsp.
of filling in the center of a wonton wrapper. Fold over
into a triangle and seal the edges lightly with the egg
mixture, using your fingers. Fold the corners of the
wrapper together and moisten with more of the egg. Set
these aside on waxed paper until all the filling is used
up. Deep fry in hot oil until golden brown. Drain on
brown paper or paper towels.

Jill

Those were called crab rangoons at the Lover's Egg Roll on
Inwood Road and Lovers Lane (in Dallas). About as authentic
as fortune cookies, but tasty nonetheless.

Cindy

--
C.J. Fuller

Delete the obvious to email me

Dunter Powries said:

jmcquown <[email hidden]> wrote in message
"]news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

...

If I need a hoot, I can always order from the local asian
restaurants and spend five to ten minutes spelling my
(real) name with them. It's one of those mega-multi-
syllable German ones with a very few vowels but lots of
hard ch's, r's and l's. If I'm REALLY hungry, I just tell
them my name is 'Jones.'

Dear, no one knows how to spell McQuown, least of all
Asian's. I just say "Jill". The best hoot I ever had was
calling a local chinese shop from the office because I
wanted to pick up my order on the way home. The woman asked,
"What time?" I said well, I get off work at 4:00. She said,
"4:00 no good, husband go pick up daughter." No, you don't
understand, I get off *work* at 4:00, I can be there around
4:30. "4:00 no good, husband go pick up daughter." Another
Abbott & Costello routine.

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

I was taking a wild guess about what they call "cheese
wontons" - I call them crab pillows or crab puffs...

Hereabouts, they're called 'crab rangoon.'

Yeppers, same thing. Funny how the same things are called
different things in different places.

I've always thought they

Quoted message said:

were sort of nasty, something about deep-fried cream
cheese and imitation crabmeat.

Have you ever tasted one? Mine don't call for 'imitation'
crabmeat. Canned, yes, because fresh crab are few and far
between in Memphis, TN. And they are absolutely delicious!
But, very, very rich. I can only eat 2 of them. The 6 in the
order lasted 2 days.

Jill

Dunter Powries said:

If I need a hoot, I can always order from the local asian
restaurants and spend five to ten minutes spelling my
(real) name with them. It's one of those mega-multi-
syllable German ones with a very few vowels but lots of
hard ch's, r's and l's. If I'm REALLY hungry, I just tell
them my name is 'Jones.'

That's funny. My ex husband's last name made it tough to
order pizza without a 10 minute discussion so I would do the
same thing. Just make up a name, then I had to remember what
name I used. I'm sure I just wound up picking a name and
sticking with it, but I forget what it was.

nancy

Dunter Powries said:

If I need a hoot, I can always order from the local asian
restaurants and spend five to ten minutes spelling my
(real) name with them. It's one of those mega-multi-
syllable German ones with a very few vowels but lots of
hard ch's, r's and l's. If I'm REALLY hungry, I just tell
them my name is 'Jones.'

This is one case where the resto having a caller ID unit
comes in handy. You don't have to spend a bunch of time
trying to spell yer name and address to them....

--
Best Greg

Nancy Young said:

Dunter Powries said:

If I need a hoot, I can always order from the local asian
restaurants and spend five to ten minutes spelling my
(real) name with them. It's one of those mega-multi-
syllable German ones with a very few vowels but lots of
hard ch's, r's and l's. If I'm REALLY hungry, I just tell
them my name is 'Jones.'

That's funny. My ex husband's last name made it tough
to order pizza without a 10 minute discussion so I
would do the same thing. Just make up a name, then I
had to remember what name I used. I'm sure I just wound
up picking a name and sticking with it, but I forget
what it was.

nancy

Nancy foo Yung? (giggling)

jmcquown said:

Dear, no one knows how to spell McQuown, least of all
Asian's. I just say "Jill".

Funny, I somehow manage to spell it. But then, my
ethnicity has little to do with my spelling
abilities in general and I suspect it works that
way for most people. For example, I'd never dream
of saying that people of Scottish descent can't
tell the difference between a plural and
possessive. ;P

(And before you say I'm taking you too "literally"
again, do note the the presence of the ;P ) ;P

Quoted message said:

Have you ever tasted one? Mine don't call for 'imitation'
crabmeat. Canned, yes, because fresh crab are few and far
between in Memphis, TN. And they are absolutely delicious!
But, very, very rich. I can only eat 2 of them. The 6 in
the order lasted 2 days.

We have those here too, usually called "crab
rangoon" like the other poster mentioned, or the
more enigmatic name, "crab cheese". I've eaten it
at several places and somehow doubt it's got much,
if any crab in it at all. We make them at home and
just use a cream cheese filling with scallions,
pepper, and soy sauce. Damsel has a great variation
on this recipe using minced salad shrimp that she
really likes.

Ariane

Nancy said:

That's funny. My ex husband's last name made it tough
to order pizza without a 10 minute discussion so I
would do the same thing. Just make up a name, then I
had to remember what name I used. I'm sure I just wound
up picking a name and sticking with it, but I forget
what it was.

Try the one that I use: "Bond. James Bond."

Bob

Ariane Jenkins said:

jmcquown said:

Dear, no one knows how to spell McQuown, least of all
Asian's. I just say "Jill".

Funny, I somehow manage to spell it. But then, my
ethnicity has little to do with my spelling abilities
in general and I suspect it works that way for most
people. For example, I'd never dream of saying that
people of Scottish descent can't tell the difference
between a plural and possessive. ;P

(And before you say I'm taking you too "literally"
again, do note the the presence of the ;P ) ;P

Quoted message said:

Have you ever tasted one? Mine don't call for 'imitation'
crabmeat. Canned, yes, because fresh crab are few and far
between in Memphis, TN. And they are absolutely
delicious! But, very, very rich. I can only eat 2 of
them. The 6 in the order lasted 2 days.

We have those here too, usually called "crab rangoon" like
the other poster mentioned, or the more enigmatic name,
"crab cheese". I've eaten it at several places and somehow
doubt it's got much, if any crab in it at all. We make
them at home and just use a cream cheese filling with
scallions, pepper, and soy sauce. Damsel has a great
variation on this recipe using minced salad shrimp that
she really likes.

Ariane

Oh yum! (and before you think I was really making a slur
against Asians :P)

Jill

jmcquown said:

Nancy Young wrote:

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

That's funny. My ex husband's last name made it tough to
order pizza without a 10 minute discussion so I would do
the same thing. Just make up a name, then I had to
remember what name I used. I'm sure I just wound up
picking a name and sticking with it, but I forget what
it was.

Quoted message said:

Nancy foo Yung? (giggling)

They didn't have delivery Chinese food there. I live in a
really strange place in some ways. And Nancy foo Young
wouldn't be easier to spell for the few pizza delivery types
we had down the shore.

I think I just said:

nancy

jmcquown said:

Oh yum!

Yeah, I like the idea of a shrimp version even better,
but we haven't gotten to try it out yet. Damsel is a
magician with won ton wrappers, so who knows what other
snack ideas she's come up with all this time! And Crash
loves those shrimp rangoons.

Quoted message said:

(and before you think I was really making a slur against
Asians :P)

I'm sure you wouldn't dream of it. 🙂

Ariane