"Joyce" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
"]news:[email hidden]...
Quoted message said:Brenda Hammond said:
"Joyce" <[email hidden]> wrote in message "]news:[email hidden]...
Quoted message said:Thanks Brenda. Maintaining IS good ... I keep telling myself that. <G>
And right
Quoted message said:now, I know it's just the holiday rush. Guess us women feel the need
to
Quoted message said:Quoted message said:have
Quoted message said:everything just perfect. I'll survive. <G>
Feeling the need to have everything perfect is one of the things that I
am
Quoted message said:Quoted message said:constantly doing, although it NEVER works out the way it's supposed to. This all stems from a
past relationship where HE had to have everthing
just
Quoted message said:Quoted message said:right and I used to get all kinds of negative feedback ([censored] really) from him if everything
wasn't just so. I left him 5 years ago now, but I
suppose
Quoted message said:Quoted message said:some of the habits I got into back then are still with me now. When DH
and
Quoted message said:Quoted message said:I got together one of the things that really drove him nuts was that as
soon
Quoted message said:Quoted message said:as a meal was finished I would get up and do all the dishes and clean the kitchen until it was
spotless, then proceed to the dining room, etc. etc.
I
Quoted message said:Quoted message said:am at the point now where I sometimes leave the supper dishes overnight, sitting in the sink, or
on the counter, I've even left them on the table overnight a few times!
I remember going through a similar thing when I was younger. My mom was
horrid
Quoted message said:about criticism when I was growing up. No matter what we did, it didn't
seem to
Quoted message said:be right or even close enough - so consequently, by the time I was married
I was
Quoted message said:afraid to even try to do anything. It took many years for me to get over
those
Quoted message said:feelings and realize that hub was not going to scream, yell or say one
thing about
Quoted message said:some goofy little mistake I might make. Most of the time I am very easy
going,
Quoted message said:but Christmas I still tend to want everything *perfect* ... even though I
honestly
Quoted message said:have no idea what perfect is (as it changes every year). I guess I get
ideas into
Quoted message said:my head, then nothing else is good enough ... and if I can't accomplish
that first
Quoted message said:idea, I go nuts until I do get it done. This year the gift thing was a
nightmare.
Quoted message said:I had items being held for shipping for over 3 weeks - they did arrive on christmas eve, but the
panic was still there. LOL And I really did have
no idea
Quoted message said:what to expect from my mom since she is currently in a nursing home
(dementia) and
Quoted message said:I was trying hard to keep traditions the same for her (not gonna do THAT
again).
This sounds familiar. I get ideas in my head about how I want something done, or when I want to do
it and that's just how it has to be. I used to constantly be apologizing or explaining myself to DH
and he would just ask me why I was doing it. I used to think that his reaction to whatever I'd said
or done would be the same as my ex's reaction, when it was just the opposite. DH is very easy going.
Take this as an example. On Christmas eve I stopped by Dan's (friend and photographer who takes
Nicholas & my pictures) to drop off a lasagna I'd made for him and his son. I called DH from there
to let him know I was going to have a drink with Dan. He just said "before or after the nude
photos", so I answered "after". He just laughed. My ex would have hit the roof!! DH is so
unsuspecting I could have an affair right under his nose and he wouldn't know it! It took me a long
time to figure him out, actually I'm still trying to figure out some of his ways.
Quoted message said:
I do hear ya on the dishes/kitchen cleanup thing. Dinner mess is
currently
Quoted message said:sitting on the counter (dishes only) - probably will wait until tomorrow
morning
Quoted message said:for me to clean them up. I'm just feeling too darned lazy tonight to deal
with
Quoted message said:them. <g>
Joyce
