Mister and Hymie

David said:

So, I have a little problem with my neighbours to the left. They have a
dog - a spaniel named Hymie. (they are of the Hebrew faith, Shelly is a
bookkeeper at the museum and Herbie is a cantor at the local synogogue.)
Now our dog 'Mister' (a terrier) is particularly well behaved and we keep
him in an enclosed fenced in area where he has plenty of room to romp, chase
birds etc. My neighbours also keep their dog mostly leashed in their lawn.
(I forgot to say that Mister is a lovely dog and from an excellent family,
In fact his first cousin is an elite drug sniffer dog who is employed by the
customs at the airport.) Anyway, getting back to the problem . . .
occasionally Hymie gets away from his enclosed space and digs his way into
the yard where we keep Mister. Then they play a little until Hymie is ready
to go home and more often than not he leads our dog away with him and they
both go back to his home. Now even though we expressly told Shelley that we
don't like her to feed our dog, she always secretly does so and when Mister
comes home he invariably gets sick (vomits) and has no appetite for at
least a day. So when we confront our neighbour she admitted that she does
feed Mister and in fact she feeds him with kosher food which is what Hymie
eats. She says that they have certain customs in their religion and one of
them is that their dog and his friends all get to share the same meal. I
forgot to mention that this family does absolutely zero exercise which
really annoys me (as I love to work out and of course that is my life style.
I run with Mister tagging along and do free weights as of course that is by
far the best way to exercise!) - however their children all play musical
instruments (badly I might add) and Herbie practices his singing really loud
which rattles our windows and is very annoying. I tell Shelley and Herbie
that they should get into free weights and offered to help them with a
program and they just look at me blankly and say 'why'? So, if any of you
have any experience with neighbours like this and can help me with some
advice as to how to handle this problem, I would really appreciate it. I
fear our Mister is turning somewhat racist and that is concerning me as we
were brought up to believe that most people are equal.

Extend the fence underground about 15 inches on thte border with your
neighbours. indeed, just use a sledge hammer to put some long spikes
(point down, please) into the ground where the dog is repeatedly digging
through. If it chews through those, consider land mines.

--
spammage trappage: remove the underscores to reply

I'm going to die rather sooner than I'd like. I tried to protect my
neighbours from crime, and became the victim of it. Complications in
hospital following this resulted in a serious illness. I now need a bone
marrow transplant. Many people around the world are waiting for a marrow
transplant, too. Please volunteer to be a marrow donor:
http://www.abmdr.org.au/
http://www.marrow.org/

On Wed, 4 Jan 2006 21:14:52 +1000, "David" <[email hidden]>

Quoted message said:

So, I have a little problem with my neighbours to the left. They have a
dog - a spaniel named Hymie. (they are of the Hebrew faith, Shelly is a
bookkeeper at the museum and Herbie is a cantor at the local synogogue.)
Now our dog 'Mister' (a terrier) is particularly well behaved and we keep
him in an enclosed fenced in area where he has plenty of room to romp, chase
birds etc. My neighbours also keep their dog mostly leashed in their lawn.
(I forgot to say that Mister is a lovely dog and from an excellent family,
In fact his first cousin is an elite drug sniffer dog who is employed by the
customs at the airport.) Anyway, getting back to the problem . . .
occasionally Hymie gets away from his enclosed space and digs his way into
the yard where we keep Mister. Then they play a little until Hymie is ready
to go home and more often than not he leads our dog away with him and they
both go back to his home. Now even though we expressly told Shelley that we
don't like her to feed our dog, she always secretly does so and when Mister
comes home he invariably gets sick (vomits) and has no appetite for at
least a day. So when we confront our neighbour she admitted that she does
feed Mister and in fact she feeds him with kosher food which is what Hymie
eats. She says that they have certain customs in their religion and one of
them is that their dog and his friends all get to share the same meal. I
forgot to mention that this family does absolutely zero exercise which
really annoys me (as I love to work out and of course that is my life style.
I run with Mister tagging along and do free weights as of course that is by
far the best way to exercise!) - however their children all play musical
instruments (badly I might add) and Herbie practices his singing really loud
which rattles our windows and is very annoying. I tell Shelley and Herbie
that they should get into free weights and offered to help them with a
program and they just look at me blankly and say 'why'? So, if any of you
have any experience with neighbours like this and can help me with some
advice as to how to handle this problem, I would really appreciate it. I
fear our Mister is turning somewhat racist and that is concerning me as we
were brought up to believe that most people are equal.

Arrange a Bar Mitzvah for Mister as soon as possible and consider
having your own appendage re-modelled. If you can't beat them - join
them! ;o)

"spodosaurus" <spodosaurus@_yahoo_.com> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

David said:

So, I have a little problem with my neighbours to the left. They have a
dog - a spaniel named Hymie. (they are of the Hebrew faith, Shelly is a
bookkeeper at the museum and Herbie is a cantor at the local synogogue.)
Now our dog 'Mister' (a terrier) is particularly well behaved and we
keep him in an enclosed fenced in area where he has plenty of room to
romp, chase birds etc. My neighbours also keep their dog mostly leashed
in their lawn. (I forgot to say that Mister is a lovely dog and from an
excellent family, In fact his first cousin is an elite drug sniffer dog
who is employed by the customs at the airport.) Anyway, getting back to
the problem . . . occasionally Hymie gets away from his enclosed space
and digs his way into the yard where we keep Mister. Then they play a
little until Hymie is ready to go home and more often than not he leads
our dog away with him and they both go back to his home. Now even though
we expressly told Shelley that we don't like her to feed our dog, she
always secretly does so and when Mister comes home he invariably gets
sick (vomits) and has no appetite for at least a day. So when we
confront our neighbour she admitted that she does feed Mister and in fact
she feeds him with kosher food which is what Hymie eats. She says that
they have certain customs in their religion and one of them is that their
dog and his friends all get to share the same meal. I forgot to mention
that this family does absolutely zero exercise which really annoys me (as
I love to work out and of course that is my life style. I run with
Mister tagging along and do free weights as of course that is by far the
best way to exercise!) - however their children all play musical
instruments (badly I might add) and Herbie practices his singing really
loud which rattles our windows and is very annoying. I tell Shelley and
Herbie that they should get into free weights and offered to help them
with a program and they just look at me blankly and say 'why'? So, if
any of you have any experience with neighbours like this and can help me
with some advice as to how to handle this problem, I would really
appreciate it. I fear our Mister is turning somewhat racist and that is
concerning me as we were brought up to believe that most people are
equal.

Extend the fence underground about 15 inches on thte border with your
neighbours. indeed, just use a sledge hammer to put some long spikes
(point down, please) into the ground where the dog is repeatedly digging
through. If it chews through those, consider land mines.

Actually there is also an odd odour emanating from their place and drives me
nuts - always around midnight. I think it has to do with some religious
ritual. Might have to seriously consider the land mine idea. Thanks for
your input

"JRH" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

On Wed, 4 Jan 2006 21:14:52 +1000, "David" <[email hidden]>

Quoted message said:

So, I have a little problem with my neighbours to the left. They have a
dog - a spaniel named Hymie. (they are of the Hebrew faith, Shelly is a
bookkeeper at the museum and Herbie is a cantor at the local synogogue.)
Now our dog 'Mister' (a terrier) is particularly well behaved and we keep
him in an enclosed fenced in area where he has plenty of room to romp,
chase
birds etc. My neighbours also keep their dog mostly leashed in their
lawn.
(I forgot to say that Mister is a lovely dog and from an excellent family,
In fact his first cousin is an elite drug sniffer dog who is employed by
the
customs at the airport.) Anyway, getting back to the problem . . .
occasionally Hymie gets away from his enclosed space and digs his way into
the yard where we keep Mister. Then they play a little until Hymie is
ready
to go home and more often than not he leads our dog away with him and they
both go back to his home. Now even though we expressly told Shelley that
we
don't like her to feed our dog, she always secretly does so and when
Mister
comes home he invariably gets sick (vomits) and has no appetite for at
least a day. So when we confront our neighbour she admitted that she does
feed Mister and in fact she feeds him with kosher food which is what Hymie
eats. She says that they have certain customs in their religion and one
of
them is that their dog and his friends all get to share the same meal. I
forgot to mention that this family does absolutely zero exercise which
really annoys me (as I love to work out and of course that is my life
style.
I run with Mister tagging along and do free weights as of course that is
by
far the best way to exercise!) - however their children all play musical
instruments (badly I might add) and Herbie practices his singing really
loud
which rattles our windows and is very annoying. I tell Shelley and Herbie
that they should get into free weights and offered to help them with a
program and they just look at me blankly and say 'why'? So, if any of you
have any experience with neighbours like this and can help me with some
advice as to how to handle this problem, I would really appreciate it. I
fear our Mister is turning somewhat racist and that is concerning me as we
were brought up to believe that most people are equal.

Arrange a Bar Mitzvah for Mister as soon as possible and consider
having your own appendage re-modelled. If you can't beat them - join
them! ;o)

Now that's funny!

On Wed, 04 Jan 2006 19:21:33 +0800, spodosaurus

spodosaurus@_yahoo_.com said:

David said:

So, I have a little problem with my neighbours to the left. They have a
dog - a spaniel named Hymie. (they are of the Hebrew faith, Shelly is a
bookkeeper at the museum and Herbie is a cantor at the local synogogue.)
Now our dog 'Mister' (a terrier) is particularly well behaved and we keep
him in an enclosed fenced in area where he has plenty of room to romp, chase
birds etc. My neighbours also keep their dog mostly leashed in their lawn.
(I forgot to say that Mister is a lovely dog and from an excellent family,
In fact his first cousin is an elite drug sniffer dog who is employed by the
customs at the airport.) Anyway, getting back to the problem . . .
occasionally Hymie gets away from his enclosed space and digs his way into
the yard where we keep Mister. Then they play a little until Hymie is ready
to go home and more often than not he leads our dog away with him and they
both go back to his home. Now even though we expressly told Shelley that we
don't like her to feed our dog, she always secretly does so and when Mister
comes home he invariably gets sick (vomits) and has no appetite for at
least a day. So when we confront our neighbour she admitted that she does
feed Mister and in fact she feeds him with kosher food which is what Hymie
eats. She says that they have certain customs in their religion and one of
them is that their dog and his friends all get to share the same meal. I
forgot to mention that this family does absolutely zero exercise which
really annoys me (as I love to work out and of course that is my life style.
I run with Mister tagging along and do free weights as of course that is by
far the best way to exercise!) - however their children all play musical
instruments (badly I might add) and Herbie practices his singing really loud
which rattles our windows and is very annoying. I tell Shelley and Herbie
that they should get into free weights and offered to help them with a
program and they just look at me blankly and say 'why'? So, if any of you
have any experience with neighbours like this and can help me with some
advice as to how to handle this problem, I would really appreciate it. I
fear our Mister is turning somewhat racist and that is concerning me as we
were brought up to believe that most people are equal.

Extend the fence underground about 15 inches on thte border with your
neighbours. indeed, just use a sledge hammer to put some long spikes
(point down, please) into the ground where the dog is repeatedly digging
through. If it chews through those, consider land mines.

Ari
------------
I'm going to die not soon enough.I tried butt sex from my
neighbours, and became the victim of AIDS. Complications in
hospital following this resulted in full blown (pun intended) AIDS. I now need a boner
transplant. Many people around the world are waiting for a boner
transplant, too. Please volunteer to be a boner donor:
http://www.IGotAidsFromButSex.org.

spodosaurus said:

David trolled:

Extend the fence underground about 15 inches on thte border with your
neighbours. indeed, just use a sledge hammer to put some long spikes
(point down, please) into the ground where the dog is repeatedly digging
through. If it chews through those, consider land mines.

Troll, Ari.

Dally

"Dally" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

spodosaurus said:

David trolled:

Extend the fence underground about 15 inches on thte border with your
neighbours. indeed, just use a sledge hammer to put some long spikes
(point down, please) into the ground where the dog is repeatedly digging
through. If it chews through those, consider land mines.

Troll, Ari.

No Ari. You know better. I am NOT a troll. (a troll enabler maybe but
certainly NOT a troll)

"David" <[email hidden]> wrote

Quoted message said:

So, I have a little problem with my neighbours to the left. They have a
dog - a spaniel named Hymie. (they are of the Hebrew faith, Shelly is a
bookkeeper at the museum and Herbie is a cantor at the local synogogue.)
Now our dog 'Mister' (a terrier) is particularly well behaved and we keep
him in an enclosed fenced in area where he has plenty of room to romp,
chase birds etc. My neighbours also keep their dog mostly leashed in
their lawn. (I forgot to say that Mister is a lovely dog and from an
excellent family, In fact his first cousin is an elite drug sniffer dog
who is employed by the customs at the airport.) Anyway, getting back to
the problem . . . occasionally Hymie gets away from his enclosed space
and digs his way into the yard where we keep Mister. Then they play a
little until Hymie is ready to go home and more often than not he leads
our dog away with him and they both go back to his home. Now even though
we expressly told Shelley that we don't like her to feed our dog, she
always secretly does so and when Mister comes home he invariably gets
sick (vomits) and has no appetite for at least a day. So when we confront
our neighbour she admitted that she does feed Mister and in fact she feeds
him with kosher food which is what Hymie eats. She says that they have
certain customs in their religion and one of them is that their dog and
his friends all get to share the same meal. I forgot to mention that this
family does absolutely zero exercise which really annoys me (as I love to
work out and of course that is my life style. I run with Mister tagging
along and do free weights as of course that is by far the best way to
exercise!) - however their children all play musical instruments (badly I
might add) and Herbie practices his singing really loud which rattles our
windows and is very annoying. I tell Shelley and Herbie that they should
get into free weights and offered to help them with a program and they
just look at me blankly and say 'why'? So, if any of you have any
experience with neighbours like this

Do any of us have experience with orthodox jews whose dog invites our dog
over to share a kosher meal which makes our dog sick?

Common occurance. You should get lots of advice 🙂

David

On Thu, 5 Jan 2006 00:15:14 +1000, "David" <[email hidden]>

Quoted message said:

No Ari. You know better. I am NOT a troll. (a troll enabler maybe but
certainly NOT a troll)

Liar, you are the very definition of a troll. You troll just until you
[censored] a few [censored], then repent in time to keep from being
killfiled, then repeat it all over again.

/ ~ .\
|\__/
| |
| . |
| `.` |
__| `` | `.` |/~~\
/ | | | `` |/~~\
| | | | | `` | /
\ ` . . | |
\ . . ` /
\ . . /
\ . /
| . |
| |
| |

"David Cohen" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

"David" <[email hidden]> wrote

Quoted message said:

So, I have a little problem with my neighbours to the left. They have a
dog - a spaniel named Hymie. (they are of the Hebrew faith, Shelly is a
bookkeeper at the museum and Herbie is a cantor at the local synogogue.)
Now our dog 'Mister' (a terrier) is particularly well behaved and we
keep him in an enclosed fenced in area where he has plenty of room to
romp, chase birds etc. My neighbours also keep their dog mostly leashed
in their lawn. (I forgot to say that Mister is a lovely dog and from an
excellent family, In fact his first cousin is an elite drug sniffer dog
who is employed by the customs at the airport.) Anyway, getting back to
the problem . . . occasionally Hymie gets away from his enclosed space
and digs his way into the yard where we keep Mister. Then they play a
little until Hymie is ready to go home and more often than not he leads
our dog away with him and they both go back to his home. Now even though
we expressly told Shelley that we don't like her to feed our dog, she
always secretly does so and when Mister comes home he invariably gets
sick (vomits) and has no appetite for at least a day. So when we
confront our neighbour she admitted that she does feed Mister and in fact
she feeds him with kosher food which is what Hymie eats. She says that
they have certain customs in their religion and one of them is that their
dog and his friends all get to share the same meal. I forgot to mention
that this family does absolutely zero exercise which really annoys me (as
I love to work out and of course that is my life style. I run with
Mister tagging along and do free weights as of course that is by far the
best way to exercise!) - however their children all play musical
instruments (badly I might add) and Herbie practices his singing really
loud which rattles our windows and is very annoying. I tell Shelley and
Herbie that they should get into free weights and offered to help them
with a program and they just look at me blankly and say 'why'? So, if
any of you have any experience with neighbours like this

Do any of us have experience with orthodox jews whose dog invites our dog
over to share a kosher meal which makes our dog sick?

Common occurance. You should get lots of advice 🙂

No David. You missed the point. This has nothing to do with our dog getting
sick with kosher food. Of course that would not be a common occurrence! My
point is that Herbie and Shelley are totally sedentary and I am trying to
encourage them to purchase a power cage and get into free weights. As they
are not interested, I was hoping to get advice on how to insipire them

"Russ" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

On Thu, 5 Jan 2006 00:15:14 +1000, "David" <[email hidden]>

Quoted message said:

No Ari. You know better. I am NOT a troll. (a troll enabler maybe but
certainly NOT a troll)

Liar, you are the very definition of a troll. You troll just until you
[censored] a few [censored], then repent in time to keep from being
killfiled, then repeat it all over again.

/ ~ .\
|\__/
| |
| . |
| `.` |
__| `` | `.` |/~~\
/ | | | `` |/~~\
| | | | | `` | /
\ ` . . | |
\ . . ` /
\ . . /
\ . /
| . |
| |
| |

I like the finger. How long does it take you to input that?

Looking for advice from Cohen - my dog Mister is normally well behaved.But
anytime he hears barking or any sounds a dog makes on T.V. for instance he
gets nervous and thinks there is a dog nearby and wants to check it out. How
can I tell him not to worry about T.V. dogs?

In article <[email hidden]>,

David said:

Looking for advice from Cohen - my dog Mister is normally well behaved.But
anytime he hears barking or any sounds a dog makes on T.V. for instance he
gets nervous and thinks there is a dog nearby and wants to check it out. How
can I tell him not to worry about T.V. dogs?

I'm not Cohen, but I "howl", bark and whine with the dogs and really get
them going. ;-)

Then turn it into growly dog playtime.

I get the WORST reactions when ambulences, fire trucks and police cars
go by with sirens! I howl with the dogs and get them to play with me.

Calms their anxiety a lot and puts them into play mode.

This works for me, don't know if it'll work for you........

Cheers!
--
Om.

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-[censored]." -Jack Nicholson

On Thu, 5 Jan 2006 07:27:25 +1000, "David" <[email hidden]>

Quoted message said:

Looking for advice from Cohen - my dog Mister is normally well behaved.But
anytime he hears barking or any sounds a dog makes on T.V. for instance he
gets nervous and thinks there is a dog nearby and wants to check it out. How
can I tell him not to worry about T.V. dogs?

Give him the remote control and teach him how to use the mute button!
;o)

"OmManiPadmeOmelet" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

In article <[email hidden]>,

David said:

Looking for advice from Cohen - my dog Mister is normally well
behaved.But
anytime he hears barking or any sounds a dog makes on T.V. for instance
he
gets nervous and thinks there is a dog nearby and wants to check it out.
How
can I tell him not to worry about T.V. dogs?

I'm not Cohen, but I "howl", bark and whine with the dogs and really get
them going. ;-)

But I'm trying *not* to get him going - trying to settle him down
It must create anxiety when he hears a dog now knowing if the dog might be
in the next room even.

Quoted message said:

Then turn it into growly dog playtime.

I get the WORST reactions when ambulences, fire trucks and police cars
go by with sirens! I howl with the dogs and get them to play with me.

My dog is ok with sirens

Quoted message said:

Calms their anxiety a lot and puts them into play mode.

This works for me, don't know if it'll work for you........

Thanks!

Dally said:

spodosaurus said:

David trolled:
Extend the fence underground about 15 inches on thte border with your
neighbours. indeed, just use a sledge hammer to put some long spikes
(point down, please) into the ground where the dog is repeatedly digging
through. If it chews through those, consider land mines.

Troll, Ari.
Dally

Not as skillful as you're, or he'd put bowflex, dogs, something
negative like "imprisoned" in the subject, and generate 100+ followups
in an hour.

Do your neighbors even own bowflex? Fessup!

DZ said:

Dally said:

spodosaurus said:

David trolled:
Extend the fence underground about 15 inches on thte border with your
neighbours. indeed, just use a sledge hammer to put some long spikes
(point down, please) into the ground where the dog is repeatedly digging
through. If it chews through those, consider land mines.

Troll, Ari.
Dally

Not as skillful as you're, or he'd put bowflex, dogs, something
negative like "imprisoned" in the subject, and generate 100+ followups
in an hour.

Oh, I'm not trolling. My scenario is real. That's what makes it so
provocative. His is just a stupid parody, more of a homage, really. I
am a bit flattered that he goes to the bother. But it's sort of like
Bill's sock-puppet imposter... taking trolling to a newly insipid level.

Quoted message said:

Do your neighbors even own bowflex? Fessup!

They aren't my neighbors, they're my friends. They live three hours
away and we occasionally go visit them for a week-end. I usually use
their Bowflex while I'm there. This time I didn't. (And neither did they.)

Dally

"David" <[email hidden]> wrote

Quoted message said:

Looking for advice from Cohen - my dog Mister is normally well behaved.But
anytime he hears barking or any sounds a dog makes on T.V. for instance he
gets nervous and thinks there is a dog nearby and wants to check it out.
How can I tell him not to worry about T.V. dogs?

Sheba does the same thing. I tell her to SETTLE and she does, because I've
taught her that command.

Try teaching her to do something else when she hears ghost dogs on the TV.
Teach her to come to you and sit when she hears the ghost dog, to get a
treat. Bark at TV, no treat. Sit in front of you, treat.

Basic canine training. Works in almost all circumstances. Just requires the
owner to be a bit creative.

David

"David" <[email hidden]> wrote

Quoted message said:

"David Cohen" <[email hidden]> wrote

Quoted message said:

"David" <[email hidden]> wrote

Quoted message said:

So, I have a little problem with my neighbours to the left. They have a
dog - a spaniel named Hymie. (they are of the Hebrew faith, Shelly is a
bookkeeper at the museum and Herbie is a cantor at the local synogogue.)
Now our dog 'Mister' (a terrier) is particularly well behaved and we
keep him in an enclosed fenced in area where he has plenty of room to
romp, chase birds etc. My neighbours also keep their dog mostly leashed
in their lawn. (I forgot to say that Mister is a lovely dog and from an
excellent family, In fact his first cousin is an elite drug sniffer dog
who is employed by the customs at the airport.) Anyway, getting back to
the problem . . . occasionally Hymie gets away from his enclosed space
and digs his way into the yard where we keep Mister. Then they play a
little until Hymie is ready to go home and more often than not he leads
our dog away with him and they both go back to his home. Now even though
we expressly told Shelley that we don't like her to feed our dog, she
always secretly does so and when Mister comes home he invariably gets
sick (vomits) and has no appetite for at least a day. So when we
confront our neighbour she admitted that she does feed Mister and in
fact she feeds him with kosher food which is what Hymie eats. She says
that they have certain customs in their religion and one of them is that
their dog and his friends all get to share the same meal. I forgot to
mention that this family does absolutely zero exercise which really
annoys me (as I love to work out and of course that is my life style. I
run with Mister tagging along and do free weights as of course that is
by far the best way to exercise!) - however their children all play
musical instruments (badly I might add) and Herbie practices his singing
really loud which rattles our windows and is very annoying. I tell
Shelley and Herbie that they should get into free weights and offered
to help them with a program and they just look at me blankly and say
'why'? So, if any of you have any experience with neighbours like this

Do any of us have experience with orthodox jews whose dog invites our dog
over to share a kosher meal which makes our dog sick?

Common occurance. You should get lots of advice 🙂

No David. You missed the point.

I frequently do.

Quoted message said:

This has nothing to do with our dog getting sick with kosher food. Of
course that would not be a common occurrence!

It might be, in a kibbutz.

Quoted message said:

My point is that Herbie and Shelley are totally sedentary and I am trying
to encourage them to purchase a power cage and get into free weights. As
they are not interested, I was hoping to get advice on how to insipire
them

That has NOTHING to do with dogs, so, why am I even having this
conversation?

David