Limerick for Lance

There once was a racer named Floyd,
Who climbed himself out of the void,
He seems very keen
To prove himself clean,
But most think the answer's a Roid.

A racer named Lance you all know,
Next to him all the others were slow,
But now he eats calamari,
Instead of seeing Doc Ferrari,
And he's bulked up since he stopped eating Crow.

So how do we give Pendejo a standing ovation on these forums?

Outstanding Pendejo!

Bjørn P.Dal said:

Outstanding Pendejo!

Agreed very clever!!

There once was a cyclist named Lance
Who without EPO stood no chance
Of the cheating he grew tired, and finally retired
Now night and day he spends with McConaughey
And Bass isn't the only Lance that's getting some ass

Do they all do drugs?
Most of us would like to know.
Only some get caught.

Okay, there were plenty of good ones, but I'm going with jhuskey as our poet laureate. 😉

rule62 said:

Okay, there were plenty of good ones, but I'm going with jhuskey as our poet laureate. 😉

Thanks, but I will admit I have an advantage. I post about things I like and enjoy rather than about things that I hate.

cynic said:

Maybe they are just proving that the last line is true.

Nah, you got owned.

It isn't about the bike,
It's about making sales for Nike,
It's about using drugs...
and conning the mugs,
It's money and fame that I like!

Who wants to be the first pedant to correct the pronunciation of "Nike"? 😄

Lonnie Utah said:

Do they all do drugs?
Most of us would like to know.
Only some get caught.

Haiku instead of limerick, but very nice!

rule62 said:

Okay, there were plenty of good ones, but I'm going with jhuskey as our poet laureate. 😉

But it's a limerick thread and jhusky didn't present a limerick. As he went outside to subject, I think we have to DQ jhusky unless he can edit that into a limerick.

Pendejo gets my vote.

TrekDedicated said:

Nah, you got owned.

People say I got owned, but it's their skills that need to be honed
In Lance they believe, how could they be so naive
Wake up and smell the EPO, don't be programmed robots like C-3PO
If it's more punishment you want, I'll bring it; maybe I'll even sing it
Why not give up on that cheat, not take the heat and admit to defeat

meb said:

But it's a limerick thread and jhusky didn't present a limerick. As he went outside to subject, I think we have to DQ jhusky unless he can edit that into a limerick.

Pendejo gets my vote.

Thanks, Meb, your check's in the mail.

cynic said:

People say I got owned, but it's their skills that need to be honed
In Lance they believe, how could they be so naive
Wake up and smell the EPO, don't be programmed robots like C-3PO
If it's more punishment you want, I'll bring it; maybe I'll even sing it
Why not give up on that cheat, not take the heat and admit to defeat

That's more like a bad rap.

there once was a cyclist armstrong
who needled but refused to bong
he won a few races
at ridiculous paces
his denials were frequent and strong

meb said:

But it's a limerick thread and jhusky didn't present a limerick. As he went outside to subject, I think we have to DQ jhusky unless he can edit that into a limerick.

Pendejo gets my vote.

I will gladly relinquish the trophy and all my cash winnings. Just don't test me for doping!

meb said:

But it's a limerick thread and jhusky didn't present a limerick.

No, no, no, this was a thread about lim's passionate, unrequited love for LA but somehow it got hijacked into this poetry thing.

There one was a moderator named Lim
Whose love for LA was no whim
LA's love he did not get
So, he projected onto musette
Living on bumps, as if on a flat rim

Nice one, haha. great🙂

Pendejo said:

A racer named Lance you all know,
Next to him all the others were slow,
But now he eats calamari,
Instead of seeing Doc Ferrari,
And he's bulked up since he stopped eating Crow.