Lemon Pie humour

On Wed 13 Jul 2005 11:04:02p, Bock wrote in rec.food.cooking:

Quoted message said:

The pie crusts were tanned perfectly like they had baked in the sun all
day as opposed to the 475 oven. Creamy and yellow, the filling was
spooned into the twin pie crusts.

The Kitchen Aid was screaming in the background as it beat the egg
whites into artifical snow to atop the pies.

And then right there on the table was a 1/2 measuring cup full of a
yellow liquid. It just couldn't be. It couldn't be the lemon juice,
the hand squeezed lemon juice. I looked at the fillings in the pies.
They were yellow alright, yellow from the eggs.

Funny - yet not so funny, I had for gotten to add the lemon juice. Too
late now! Damn. And so it goes.

I feel your pain! Several years ago I was making a lemon pie, had all the
ingredients measured out (mis en place) and began assembling and cooking
the filling. Everything seemed to be going well except that I began to
notice that the filling wasn't thickening. I looked around to make sure I
had added everything. Yep, all empty containers. I decided to let the
mixture cool to see if it would thicken up. As it got cooler, I tasted it.
Gawd, what an awful taste. I had mistakenling measured out baking soda
instead of cornstarch!

I've always kept dry ingredients in clamp-top glass jars of different
colors, but no labels. I had picked up the wrong jar.

--
Wayne Boatwright *¿*
____________________________________________

Give me a smart idiot over a stupid genius any day.
Sam Goldwyn, 1882-1974

---
avast! Antivirus: Outbound message clean.
Virus Database (VPS): 0528-3, 07/13/2005
Tested on: 7/13/2005 11:46:14 PM
avast! - copyright (c) 1988-2005 ALWIL Software.
http://www.avast.com

Bock said:

The pie crusts were tanned perfectly like they had baked in the sun all
day as opposed to the 475 oven. Creamy and yellow, the filling was
spooned into the twin pie crusts.

The Kitchen Aid was screaming in the background as it beat the egg
whites into artifical snow to atop the pies.

And then right there on the table was a 1/2 measuring cup full of a
yellow liquid. It just couldn't be. It couldn't be the lemon juice,
the hand squeezed lemon juice. I looked at the fillings in the pies.
They were yellow alright, yellow from the eggs.

Funny - yet not so funny, I had for gotten to add the lemon juice. Too
late now! Damn. And so it goes.

Are you sure we're not related?? Better to laugh than to cry, huh?

Carol

Bock <[email hidden]> wrote in
news:[email hidden]:

Quoted message said:

The pie crusts were tanned perfectly like they had baked in the sun all
day as opposed to the 475 oven. Creamy and yellow, the filling was
spooned into the twin pie crusts.

The Kitchen Aid was screaming in the background as it beat the egg
whites into artifical snow to atop the pies.

And then right there on the table was a 1/2 measuring cup full of a
yellow liquid. It just couldn't be. It couldn't be the lemon juice,
the hand squeezed lemon juice. I looked at the fillings in the pies.
They were yellow alright, yellow from the eggs.

Funny - yet not so funny, I had for gotten to add the lemon juice. Too
late now! Damn. And so it goes.

Hmmm... Throw on some coconut and call it coconut custard 😉 Sorry about
the lemon juice. I too have had some *disasters*. Usually I leave out the
sugar 🙁

Michael

Bock <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

The pie crusts were tanned perfectly like they had baked
in the sun all day as opposed to the 475 oven. Creamy
and yellow, the filling was spooned into the twin pie crusts.

The Kitchen Aid was screaming in the background as it
beat the egg whites into artifical snow to atop the pies.

And then right there on the table was a 1/2 measuring
cup full of a yellow liquid. It just couldn't be. It couldn't
be the lemon juice, the hand squeezed lemon juice. I
looked at the fillings in the pies. They were yellow alright,
yellow from the eggs.

Funny - yet not so funny, I had for gotten to add the
lemon juice. Too late now! Damn. And so it goes.

I am laughing with you, certainly not at you! That pretty much describes
my first lemon pie -- right down to the shrug and realization of "Damn!
Too late now!"

The Ranger

Wayne Boatwright said:

On Wed 13 Jul 2005 11:04:02p, Bock wrote in rec.food.cooking:

<snip>

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

Funny - yet not so funny, I had for gotten to add the lemon juice. Too
late now! Damn. And so it goes.

I feel your pain! Several years ago I was making a lemon pie, had all the
ingredients measured out (mis en place) and began assembling and cooking
the filling. Everything seemed to be going well except that I began to
notice that the filling wasn't thickening. I looked around to make sure I
had added everything. Yep, all empty containers. I decided to let the
mixture cool to see if it would thicken up. As it got cooler, I tasted it.
Gawd, what an awful taste. I had mistakenling measured out baking soda
instead of cornstarch!

I've always kept dry ingredients in clamp-top glass jars of different
colors, but no labels. I had picked up the wrong jar.

When i was about 10, I decided that I wanted to make peanut butter
cookies. I accidentally put in many times the amount of baking soda
called for. I remember my mom trying one and making the most horrible face!
--

saerah

"It's not a gimmick, it's an incentive."- asterbark, afca

aware of the manifold possibilities of the future

"I think there's a clause in the Shaman's and Jujumen's Local #57 Union
contract that they have to have reciprocity for each other's shop rules."
-König Prüß

Bock said:

The pie crusts were tanned perfectly like they had baked in the sun all
day as opposed to the 475 oven. Creamy and yellow, the filling was
spooned into the twin pie crusts.

The Kitchen Aid was screaming in the background as it beat the egg
whites into artifical snow to atop the pies.

And then right there on the table was a 1/2 measuring cup full of a
yellow liquid. It just couldn't be. It couldn't be the lemon juice,
the hand squeezed lemon juice. I looked at the fillings in the pies.
They were yellow alright, yellow from the eggs.

Funny - yet not so funny, I had for gotten to add the lemon juice. Too
late now! Damn. And so it goes.

In one of my restaurants, we served pecan pies by the dozen every day.
Had a dim but eager person ask to do pies. Since I had recipe cards and
all necessary tools, I said sure. Walked her through a few and she
seemed to have to down.

One day, people weren't eating their pie. I tasted some. Nasty, gluey,
not a trace of sweetness, color not quite right. I went back to see what
the deal was. She told me we were out of brown sugar, so she just left
it out. Had to put extra flour in it, she said, or it wouldn't have set
right.

That one cost me a good bit of money, time and phone calls to our
regulars. <sigh> She went back to salad bar prep.

Pastorio

Bob (this one), I am sorry, I had computer troubles yesterday and
something ate the post in which you answered all my brownies question.

Thank you for all the answers. Except for the couverture, which I was
told should never be used for every-day baking, as it is much too
expensive, but should be enjoyed solely for eating as is, I agree with
everything else. At least what I remember. :o)

I do not like to use oil for the brownie mix and I will try to use 1/2
cup of sweet butter for each box of mix instead. As I consider all
the brownie mixes too sweet, I have been adding about 1/2 cup of
unsweetened Ghirardelli cocoa to the mix. The unbaked batter tastes
less sweet, but I have never tasted the baked stuff, as I am never
present when it is being served. Do you think it is all right? :o(

Thank you again. MS

Margaret Suran said:

Thank you for all the answers. Except for the couverture, which I was
told should never be used for every-day baking, as it is much too
expensive, but should be enjoyed solely for eating as is, I agree with
everything else. At least what I remember. :o)

The information you've gotten about couverture is surprising. It's
intended to use as a cover for other things and to be used in
confections and baking. <http://www.chocolatesbybernardcallebaut.com/>

Quoted message said:

I do not like to use oil for the brownie mix and I will try to use 1/2
cup of sweet butter for each box of mix instead. As I consider all the
brownie mixes too sweet, I have been adding about 1/2 cup of unsweetened
Ghirardelli cocoa to the mix.

Can't make a mistake with that. Might add a high-solid, unsweetened
chocolate instead. More fat for a richer mouthfeel

Quoted message said:

The unbaked batter tastes less sweet, but
I have never tasted the baked stuff, as I am never present when it is
being served. Do you think it is all right? :o(

It is most emphatically *not* all right that you not be there when
they're served. I think that you should be first at the cutting if only
in the interests of science and, um, stuff. If they eat the brownies,
that part is all right.

Tell everybody that. And tell them to step back while you taste the
first piece

Pastorio

Bock said:

The pie crusts were tanned perfectly like they had baked in the sun all
day as opposed to the 475 oven. Creamy and yellow, the filling was
spooned into the twin pie crusts.

The Kitchen Aid was screaming in the background as it beat the egg
whites into artifical snow to atop the pies.

And then right there on the table was a 1/2 measuring cup full of a
yellow liquid. It just couldn't be. It couldn't be the lemon juice,
the hand squeezed lemon juice. I looked at the fillings in the pies.
They were yellow alright, yellow from the eggs.

Funny - yet not so funny, I had for gotten to add the lemon juice. Too
late now! Damn. And so it goes.

It's definitely too late now, but if you had caught the mistake before the
meringue went on you could have scrapped the filling out of the pie shell
put it back in the pot, added the lemon juice and then bring it to a boil
or near boil enough to thicken it up and it probably would have been fine.

"Bock" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

The pie crusts were tanned perfectly like they had baked in the sun all
day as opposed to the 475 oven. Creamy and yellow, the filling was
spooned into the twin pie crusts.

They were yellow alright, yellow from the eggs.

Funny - yet not so funny, I had for gotten to add the lemon juice. Too
late now! Damn. And so it goes.

I did something similiar about two weeks ago, when attempting to make a
fudge cake, as soon as I put it into the oven, I looked on the counter and
saw half of the flower still in the measuring cup.

Harriet & critters

hw said:

I did something similiar about two weeks ago, when attempting to make a
fudge cake, as soon as I put it into the oven, I looked on the counter and
saw half of the flower still in the measuring cup.

It's easy to do. I made a cheese cake last year and realized after a few
minutes that I had forgotten to add the sugar. I took it out of the oven, put
the sugar on top and beat it in, then stuck it back into the oven. It turned
out okay.

Bock said:

The pie crusts were tanned perfectly like they had baked in the sun all
day as opposed to the 475 oven. Creamy and yellow, the filling was
spooned into the twin pie crusts.

The Kitchen Aid was screaming in the background as it beat the egg
whites into artifical snow to atop the pies.

And then right there on the table was a 1/2 measuring cup full of a
yellow liquid. It just couldn't be. It couldn't be the lemon juice,
the hand squeezed lemon juice. I looked at the fillings in the pies.
They were yellow alright, yellow from the eggs.

Funny - yet not so funny, I had for gotten to add the lemon juice. Too
late now! Damn. And so it goes.

Well, you hadn't put the meringue on yet so you could
have scooped the filling back out of the crusts and
mixed in the lemon juice, pureeing if necessary to
get it to blend completely, recook briefly if necessary
and pour back into shells. Shoot. I'd do whatever it
took not to waste it all. I bet it would still taste
good even if it didn't look perfect.

Kate

Dog3 said:

Hmmm... Throw on some coconut and call it coconut custard 😉

Hmmmm... Throw... Custard...

'kay. Solved your problem.

PIE FIGHT!!!!!!!

Dave Smith said:

hw said:

I did something similiar about two weeks ago, when attempting to make a
fudge cake, as soon as I put it into the oven, I looked on the counter and
saw half of the flower still in the measuring cup.

It's easy to do. I made a cheese cake last year and realized after a few
minutes that I had forgotten to add the sugar. I took it out of the oven, put
the sugar on top and beat it in, then stuck it back into the oven. It turned
out okay.

HA!! I've done that several times now, with different baked goods! Some
turned out, some didn't.

Carol

In article <[email hidden]>, "Bob (this one)"

Quoted message said:

Margaret Suran wrote:

(snip)

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

The unbaked batter tastes less sweet, but
I have never tasted the baked stuff, as I am never present when it is
being served. Do you think it is all right? :o(

It is most emphatically *not* all right that you not be there when
they're served. I think that you should be first at the cutting if only
in the interests of science and, um, stuff.

Quality Control!! Quality Control !! Heaven forfend you would serve
an inferior bar. It wouldn't be right. It is your *obligation*,
Margaret, to taste them.

Quoted message said:

If they eat the brownies, that part is all right.

Quoted message said:

Tell everybody that. And tell them to step back while you taste the
first piece

Pastorio

--
-Barb, <http://www.jamlady.eboard.com> 7/8/05 WeBeJammin'!

Seeing the word, "Brownies" on my monitor, over and over, has been driving
me nuts. I keep ordering Crash to go make me some brownies, but he just
laughs at me. After he ate the last two eggs in his dinner omelette last
night, he fell back on the excuse that we don't have any eggs. Just before
drifting off to sleep last night, I asked him, "Remember your Accidental
Brownies recipe that's in the RFC cookbook?" He said, "Yeah." I asked
him, "Do you remember why the recipe accidentally became brownies?" He
said, "Yeah, I forgot the eggs." I told him, "So go make me some brownies,
[censored]!" (You have to watch South Park)

Alas, I am still without brownies, but I have the recipe for any of you who
find yourself without eggs during these difficult (pre-menstrual and
menopausal) times:

* Exported from MasterCook *

Accidental Brownies

Recipe By :Crash
Serving Size : 18 Preparation Time :0:00
Categories : Pastries & Desserts

Amount Measure Ingredient -- Preparation Method
-------- ------------ --------------------------------
1 1/2 cup boiling water
1 cup quick oatmeal
1 cup soft butter
2 cup sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 cup flour
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon soda
1/2 cup cocoa

Pour water over oatmeal and let stand. Mix butter, sugar, eggs, and
vanilla. Combine with oatmeal. Add flour, salt, soda, and cocoa. Blend
well. Bake at 350F for 35 minutes in a greased and floured 9"x13" pan.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Bock said:

The pie crusts were tanned perfectly like they had baked in the sun all
day as opposed to the 475 oven. Creamy and yellow, the filling was
spooned into the twin pie crusts.

The Kitchen Aid was screaming in the background as it beat the egg
whites into artifical snow to atop the pies.

And then right there on the table was a 1/2 measuring cup full of a
yellow liquid. It just couldn't be. It couldn't be the lemon juice,
the hand squeezed lemon juice. I looked at the fillings in the pies.
They were yellow alright, yellow from the eggs.

Funny - yet not so funny, I had for gotten to add the lemon juice. Too
late now! Damn. And so it goes.

So how was the custard meringue pie?

gloria p

Dave Smith said:

Bock said:

The pie crusts were tanned perfectly like they had baked in the sun all
day as opposed to the 475 oven. Creamy and yellow, the filling was
spooned into the twin pie crusts.

The Kitchen Aid was screaming in the background as it beat the egg
whites into artifical snow to atop the pies.

And then right there on the table was a 1/2 measuring cup full of a
yellow liquid. It just couldn't be. It couldn't be the lemon juice,
the hand squeezed lemon juice. I looked at the fillings in the pies.
They were yellow alright, yellow from the eggs.

Funny - yet not so funny, I had for gotten to add the lemon juice. Too
late now! Damn. And so it goes.

It's definitely too late now, but if you had caught the mistake before the
meringue went on you could have scrapped the filling out of the pie shell
put it back in the pot, added the lemon juice and then bring it to a boil
or near boil enough to thicken it up and it probably would have been fine.

Many hours to a day later I realized that. Somehow when I looked at the
pie crusts I sort of though about it but I just couldn't do it. They
were two 4 inch pies and they are gone by way of the tummy now.

Puester said:

Bock said:

The pie crusts were tanned perfectly like they had baked in the sun all
day as opposed to the 475 oven. Creamy and yellow, the filling was
spooned into the twin pie crusts.

The Kitchen Aid was screaming in the background as it beat the egg
whites into artifical snow to atop the pies.

And then right there on the table was a 1/2 measuring cup full of a
yellow liquid. It just couldn't be. It couldn't be the lemon juice,
the hand squeezed lemon juice. I looked at the fillings in the pies.
They were yellow alright, yellow from the eggs.

Funny - yet not so funny, I had for gotten to add the lemon juice. Too
late now! Damn. And so it goes.

So how was the custard meringue pie?

gloria p

It was sweet but slightly flat. The pig that I am, those 2 four inch
pies were gone by dawn. The tummy didn't grumble but on the other hand
it didn't get what it was expecting!

Thanks for all your feedback. I guess I thought that people who cook
all the time don't accidentally leave stuff out - except me!

Whenever I make pizza I have to be e x t r e m e l y careful that I
put the cornmeal and then the rolled out pizza dough on the peel -
before I add the sauce and ingredients. There is nothing messier than
trying to slide a heavy pizza with all its sauce and toppings from the
breadboard/marble slab onto the peel. Even if one succeeds in a messy
sort of way, one has been punished as well.