Sorry this is all in CAPS but that is how I got it.
I did not feel like re-typing the whole thing..... ;-p
Cheers!
Om
A RUSSIAN AND A REDNECK WRESTLER WERE SET TO SQUARE
OFF FOR THE OLYMPIC GOLD MEDAL. BEFORE THE FINAL
MATCH, THE REDNECK WRESTLER'S TRAINER CAME TO HIM
AND SAID, "NOW, DON'T FORGET ALL THE RESEARCH WE'VE
DONE ON THIS RUSSIAN. HE'S NEVER LOST A MATCH BECAUSE
OF THIS 'PRETZEL' HOLD HE HAS. WHATEVER YOU
DO, DO NOT LET HIM GET YOU IN THAT HOLD! IF HE DOES,
YOU'RE FINISHED"; THE REDNECK NODDED IN
ACKNOWLEDGMENT.
AS THE MATCH STARTED, THE REDNECK AND THE RUSSIAN
CIRCLED EACH OTHER SEVERAL TIMES, LOOKING FOR AN
OPENING.
ALL OF A SUDDEN, THE RUSSIAN LUNGED FORWARD, GRABBING
THE REDNECK AND WRAPPING HIM UP IN THE DREADED PRETZEL
HOLD. A SIGH OF DISAPPOINTMENT AROSE FROM THE CROWD
AND THE TRAINER BURIED HIS FACE IN HIS HANDS, FOR HE
KNEW ALL WAS LOST. HE COULDN'T WATCH THE INEVITABLE
HAPPEN.
SUDDENLY, THERE WAS A SCREAM, THEN A CHEER FROM THE
CROWD AND THE TRAINER RAISED HIS EYES JUST IN TIME TO
WATCH THE RUSSIAN GO FLYING UP IN THE AIR. HIS BACK
HIT THE MAT WITH A THUD AND THE REDNECK COLLAPSED ON
TOP OF HIM MAKING THE PIN AND WINNING THE MATCH.
THE TRAINER WAS ASTOUNDED. WHEN HE FINALLY GOT HIS
WRESTLER ALONE, HE ASKED, "HOW DID YOU EVER GET OUT OF
THAT HOLD? NO ONE HAS EVER DONE IT BEFORE!"
THE WRESTLER ANSWERED "WELL, I WAS READY TO GIVE UP
WHEN HE GOT ME IN THAT HOLD BUT AT THE LAST MOMENT, I
OPENED MY EYES AND SAW THIS PAIR OF TESTICLES RIGHT IN
FRONT OF MY FACE. I HAD NOTHING TO LOSE SO WITH MY
LAST OUNCE OF STRENGTH I STRETCHED OUT MY NECK AND BIT
THOSE BABIES JUST AS HARD AS I COULD."
SO THE TRAINER EXCLAIMED, "THAT'S WHAT FINISHED HIM
OFF!"
"NOT REALLY. YOU'D BE AMAZED HOW STRONG YOU GET WHEN
YOU BITE YOUR OWN NUTS!!