Johnny NoCom®Items for sale

Johnny NoCom <"Johnny NoCom"@The-Fastest-Bike-In-the-Universe.Com> wrote in
news:[email hidden]:

Quoted message said:

Johnny NoCom® tank top

Johnny NoCock,

Does it look like the wife beater the fat guy on the left in:

www.ultracycling.com/images/gremley2.jpg

is wearing? Do they come in any size but XXXXL?

On Mon, 20 Dec 2004 13:42:39 GMT, Johnny NoCom <"Johnny

NoCom'@The-Fastest-Bike-In-the-Universe.Com said:

Johnny NoCom® carbon bandanas

You almost had me there for a second. I was reaching for the wallet
and then I realized it wasn't 'carbon bananas'.

Curtis L. Russell
Odenton, MD (USA)
Just someone on two wheels...

On Mon, 20 Dec 2004 13:42:39 GMT, Johnny NoCom <"Johnny

NoCom'@The-Fastest-Bike-In-the-Universe.Com said:

Here is a short list of items for available for purchase at the
JohnnyNoCom® web site and store coming in Jan 05. Be be part of HPV
recumbent history when you purchase any of these unique Fastest Bike in
the Known Universe© items.

Johnny NoCom® "Fastest Bike in the Known Universe" poster
Johnny NoCom® stickers
Johnny NoCom® coffee mugs
Johnny NoCom® carbon bandanas
Johnny NoCom® "How to go faster than FOGs with Beards" book
Johnny NoCom® wallet
Johnny NoCom® CD holder
Johnny NoCom® messenger bag
Johnny NoCom® mouse pad
Johnny NoCom® office pen
Johnny NoCom® key chain
Johnny NoCom® tape measure
Johnny NoCom® frisbee
Johnny NoCom® coffee
Johnny NoCom® expresso
Johnny NoCom® visor and CD holder
Johnny NoCom® coasters
Johnny NoCom® embroidered patch
Johnny NoCom® lunch box
Johnny NoCom® duffle bag
Johnny NoCom® belt buckle
Johnny NoCom® bubble gum
Johnny NoCom® diecast 1/10th scale NoComs
Johnny NoCom® aftershave
Johnny NoCom® playing cards
Johnny NoCom® poker set
Johnny NoCom® checker game
Johnny NoCom® rollup hat
Johnny NoCom® cap with embroidered logo
Johnny NoCom® short sleeve jersey
Johnny NoCom® long sleeve jersey
Johnny NoCom® cycling jacket
Johnny NoCom® tank top
Johnny NoCom® leg warmers
Johnny NoCom® water bottles
Johnny NoCom® sunglasses
Johnny NoCom® disc wheels
Johnny NoCom® dart board
Johnny NoCom® knitted throw
&
Johnny NoCom® gift cards

All Johnny NoCom® items are registered trademark originals.

Holiday Cheers,

Johnny NoCom®

Dear Johnny:

There's an appropriate usenet newsgroup on which to flog your stuff,
but none of these are. After carefully checking the charter of various
"bicycles" newsgroups you'll find the only appropriate one is
rec.bicycles.marketplace, one you've chosen to avoid.

Please go away.

jeverett3<AT>earthlink<DOT>net http://home.earthlink.net/~jeverett3

Mon, 20 Dec 2004 09:43:10 -0500,
<[email hidden]>, Curtis L. Russell

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

Johnny NoCom® carbon bandanas

You almost had me there for a second. I was reaching for the wallet
and then I realized it wasn't 'carbon bananas'.

The next best thing:
http://www.bananaguard.com/
--
zk

Zoot Katz said:

Mon, 20 Dec 2004 09:43:10 -0500,
<[email hidden]>, Curtis L. Russell

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

Johnny NoCom® carbon bandanas

You almost had me there for a second. I was reaching for the wallet
and then I realized it wasn't 'carbon bananas'.

The next best thing:
http://www.bananaguard.com/

Homeland Security know about this?? No way you get on an airplane with one
of those bad boys.

In rec.bicycles.racing Little Meow said:

Neil Brooks wrote:

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

Zoot Katz said:

Mon, 20 Dec 2004 09:43:10 -0500,
<[email hidden]>, Curtis L. Russell
<[email hidden]> wrote:

>> Johnny NoCom? carbon bandanas
>
> You almost had me there for a second. I was reaching for the wallet
> and then I realized it wasn't 'carbon bananas'.

The next best thing:
http://www.bananaguard.com/

Homeland Security know about this?? No way you get on an airplane
with one of those bad boys.

Quoted message said:

Sure you can, just as long as it is not the kind of banana that
explodes or vibrates.

http://www.bananaguard.com/faq/

Q: "Is there a battery attachment?"

A: No. The Banana Guard was designed for its intended purpose
only as a device to prevent banana trauma during transport.

Bob Schwartz
[email hidden]

Mon, 20 Dec 2004 20:53:07 GMT, <[email hidden]>,

Little Meow said:

Bob Schwartz said:

In rec.bicycles.racing Little Meow said:

Neil Brooks wrote:

Quoted message said:

> Zoot Katz wrote:
>> Mon, 20 Dec 2004 09:43:10 -0500,
>> <[email hidden]>, Curtis L. Russell
>> <[email hidden]> wrote:
>>
>>>> Johnny NoCom? carbon bandanas
>>>
>>> You almost had me there for a second. I was reaching for the wallet
>>> and then I realized it wasn't 'carbon bananas'.
>>
>> The next best thing:
>> http://www.bananaguard.com/
>
> Homeland Security know about this?? No way you get on an airplane
> with one of those bad boys.

Quoted message said:

Sure you can, just as long as it is not the kind of banana that
explodes or vibrates.

http://www.bananaguard.com/faq/

Q: "Is there a battery attachment?"

A: No. The Banana Guard was designed for its intended purpose
only as a device to prevent banana trauma during transport.

I was speaking of the banana, not the guard.
Of course, an empty bananaguard would invite
unwarranted speculation by onlookers and inspectors
alike, and possibly result in embarrassment.

Q: What is this for?
A: My banana.

It can also safely contain three live mice.
--
zk

"Little Meow" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

Johnny NoCom said:

Here is a short list of items for available for purchase at the

Do you have any Johnny NoCom® Toilet Paper?

he's calling it a poster

"Zoot Katz" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

Mon, 20 Dec 2004 09:43:10 -0500,
<[email hidden]>, Curtis L. Russell

Quoted message said:

Quoted message said:

Johnny NoCom® carbon bandanas

You almost had me there for a second. I was reaching for the wallet
and then I realized it wasn't 'carbon bananas'.

The next best thing:
http://www.bananaguard.com/
--
zk

The scary thing is...

Someone's only job is to design the bananaguard

Someone's only job is to test the design of the bananaguard to make sure it
works properly

Someone's only job is to make the bananaguard

Someone's only job is to work on the machinery that makes the bananaguard

Someone's only job is to package the bananaguard

Someone's only job is to design the bananaguard packaging

Someone's only job is to ship the bananaguard

Someone's only job is to take care of defective bananaguards (maybe the same
person who ships them, we'll never know)

Next time someone [censored] about the job they do just think how worse it
could be

Mon, 20 Dec 2004 23:10:52 GMT, <[email hidden]>,

Little Meow said:

Zoot Katz said:

Mon, 20 Dec 2004 20:53:07 GMT, <[email hidden]>,

Little Meow said:

Bob Schwartz wrote:

> In rec.bicycles.racing Little Meow <[email hidden]> wrote:
>> Neil Brooks wrote:
>
>>> Zoot Katz wrote:
>>>> Mon, 20 Dec 2004 09:43:10 -0500,
>>>> <[email hidden]>, Curtis L. Russell
>>>> <[email hidden]> wrote:
>>>>
>>>>>> Johnny NoCom? carbon bandanas
>>>>>
>>>>> You almost had me there for a second. I was reaching for the wallet
>>>>> and then I realized it wasn't 'carbon bananas'.
>>>>
>>>> The next best thing:
>>>> http://www.bananaguard.com/
>>>
>>> Homeland Security know about this?? No way you get on an airplane
>>> with one of those bad boys.
>
>> Sure you can, just as long as it is not the kind of banana that
>> explodes or vibrates.
>
> http://www.bananaguard.com/faq/
>
> Q: "Is there a battery attachment?"
>
> A: No. The Banana Guard was designed for its intended purpose
> only as a device to prevent banana trauma during transport.
>

I was speaking of the banana, not the guard.
Of course, an empty bananaguard would invite
unwarranted speculation by onlookers and inspectors
alike, and possibly result in embarrassment.

Q: What is this for?
A: My banana.

It can also safely contain three live mice.

MTB seat tubes can contain many more, if you use
the seat post to tamp them down. When travelling
internationally, remember to inquire about livestock
quarantine regulations for your destination.

I was thinking of them more as an onboard snack.
I wouldn't make a cat eat airline food.
--
zk

Mon, 20 Dec 2004 23:21:39 GMT, <68Jxd.685521$mD.102583@attbi_s02>,

Mark Leuck said:

Someone's only job is to package the bananaguard

Someone's only job is to design the bananaguard packaging

When I saw them they were neatly nestled in a stack of assorted
colours sitting on the counter. No packaging needed
--
zk

"Zoot Katz" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

Mon, 20 Dec 2004 23:21:39 GMT, <68Jxd.685521$mD.102583@attbi_s02>,

Mark Leuck said:

Someone's only job is to package the bananaguard

Someone's only job is to design the bananaguard packaging

When I saw them they were neatly nestled in a stack of assorted
colours sitting on the counter. No packaging needed
--
zk

Someone's only job then is to make the price stickers for the bananaguard

Tue, 21 Dec 2004 02:11:06 GMT, <_CLxd.230903$V41.155925@attbi_s52>,

Mark Leuck said:

"Zoot Katz" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

Mon, 20 Dec 2004 23:21:39 GMT, <68Jxd.685521$mD.102583@attbi_s02>,

Mark Leuck said:

Someone's only job is to package the bananaguard

Someone's only job is to design the bananaguard packaging

When I saw them they were neatly nestled in a stack of assorted
colours sitting on the counter. No packaging needed
--
zk

Someone's only job then is to make the price stickers for the bananaguard

You'd rather have them moonlighting your heart surgery?
--
zk

"Zoot Katz" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

Tue, 21 Dec 2004 02:11:06 GMT, <_CLxd.230903$V41.155925@attbi_s52>,

Mark Leuck said:

"Zoot Katz" <[email hidden]> wrote in message
news:[email hidden]...

Quoted message said:

Mon, 20 Dec 2004 23:21:39 GMT, <68Jxd.685521$mD.102583@attbi_s02>,
"Mark Leuck" <[email hidden]> wrote:

>Someone's only job is to package the bananaguard
>
>Someone's only job is to design the bananaguard packaging

When I saw them they were neatly nestled in a stack of assorted
colours sitting on the counter. No packaging needed
--
zk

Someone's only job then is to make the price stickers for the bananaguard

You'd rather have them moonlighting your heart surgery?
--
zk

Point taken