<[email hidden]> wrote in message "]news:[email hidden]...
Quoted message said:
Is there any such thing as a perfect training week, one that a person could do year round without
risk of injury?
Yes, my friend, there is. And as I have a spare ten minutes, I shall outline it for you.
Mon:
My wife goes to work after preparing my breakfast of Sugar Puffs, orange juice, French bread and
Emmental cheese. The kids disappear happily to school, giggling about how well they're doing in
the half-term exams. I gaze out the window and note the sun is already beating down from a clear
blue sky. The postman steps smartly up my front path and delivers two letters. One is a
notification of a £13,435 tax refund. The second contains a request from Ferrari to take over from
Rubens B. in the F1 team.
After an hour reading the newspapers, during which I note I'm being discussed on the sports pages as
an outstanding Veteran athlete, I check in at rec.running. Surprise! I've been awarded 'Contributor
of the decade', the prize being the head of 'TheBillRodgers' mounted on a wall plaque. Oz has
written a 102 KB post of congratulation, frankly admitting that all of his posts were utter
nonsense, and promising to quote my words of wisdom in future. I am so moved I quite forget myself
and am kind to Douglas by mistake.
An hour later I'm getting ready for my run. Surprisingly, all of my favourite running gear is washed
and ironed. I start to stretch, but note that I am so flexible it feel like I'm 16 again. A warm
breeze caresses my lithe body as I stride outside in my favourite running top and shorts. I start to
run and experience that 1 in 500 run feeling when you're moving fast with absolutely no effort at
all. The 18k off-road run goes perfectly on a firm yet forgiving forest track. Deer applaud my style
as I run powerfully by. Rabbits gaze in awe at my thighs. Raptors follow me at a respectful
distance, amazed at the grace of the 'king of beasts'. About 1k from home - just after I've checked
in a tractor's mirror that my sweat-drenched hair is looking particularly manly - I am surprised to
come across our local female 'guest workers' having their morning break by the side of the field.
It's hot, and the silly little things are all topless. At first they're startled, but - once they
recognise me - they make no attempt to cover themselves. Instead, they stand and jump up and down,
throwing wild flowers in my path as I slow to a jog and brush against their clamouring bodies.
Arriving home, I find my sister awaiting my return. She feels so bad about being mean to me for
40-odd years that she's decided to hand me the keys to her lightweight E-type, a car she knows I
have coveted for many years. Fortunately, she then disappears from whence she came in the blink
of an eye.
After my shower, I step onto the scales and notice that I've returned to my racing weight of 58
kilos. Oh my! Thus amused, I wander downstairs and make myself lunch - only to find that mummy has
visited whilst I've been on my run and has left lunch in the oven. As I scoff my toad-in-the-hole
(made with vegetarian sausages, of course) I realise that if I'm not careful I'll be late for my
afternoor meeting with Cameron Diaz. We met on Concorde......
......and so it continues.
To answer your question sensibly, of course there isn't a perfect training regime, or a perfect
training week. Any effort we expend trying to be 'perfect' is a waste of time. Just be happy to be
alive and able to run. Cope with the good and the bad with a smile, and you'll do OK.
Enjoy your crappy week.
Roger.
